


A Fresh Start

by KatieComma



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Long-Term Relationship(s), Love, Romance, all of the angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-04-15 02:43:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 120,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14150202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieComma/pseuds/KatieComma
Summary: Once Nick comes back after being buried alive he realizes that something's been missing in his life, and it was in the lab all along.I know Post-Grave Danger has been done a million times before... but that's how I wrote it.I actually started this one because I wanted to practice writing some sex scenes and these two are my OTP...  and then it got out of hand and morphed into something longer than I had intended.Still a WIP... posting as I go... sorry it got so out of hand...If you're just here for the smut: Chapters 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 16, 17 and 18 so far... I'll keep you updated.





	1. The Infamous Button

Nick left Warrick in the break room and walked with purpose to the print lab. Mandy was scanning latent cards into the system and looked up with a smile when he walked in, closing the door behind him. Her brown hair was loose around her face, glasses catching the glare of the computer screen and hiding her eyes.

“Hey man, glad you’re back. What’s up?” She asked casually, continuing her work. “What have you got for me?”

Nick held up empty hands. “Nothin’. I was hopin’ I could talk to you for a few minutes.”

“Totally,” she said, finishing the prints she was scanning and sitting down across the desk from him. “What’s up?”

Nick leaned his forearms on the desk and clasped his fingers together. More nervous than he had expected, his palms had begun to sweat. “I’ve been doin’ a lot of thinking,” he started. Instinct pulled his gaze away from her face, but he forced himself to be brave and look up. “Bad things happen and you think about the things you regret. The things you should have done.”

Mandy had never been one to hide her emotions, everything was always laid bare, and now she looked confused.

Still nervous, Nick looked around to ensure he wasn’t being overheard. The doors were firmly closed but he saw Warrick in the hall, sipping his coffee, a questioning look on his face.

“Like what?” Mandy prompted.

“Can I take you out to dinner some time?” He blurted out, turning back to her. The nervous smile crept across his face before he could stop it, and he felt like an idiot. He’d definitely hit on more intimidating women, but this was different.

Mandy’s eyes widened, and then narrowed. “I hate to be a downer on your first day back, but I don’t think so.”

He pushed back off the desk and stood awkwardly, holding up his hands like a peace offering. “Don’t worry about it,” he said with a sad smile.

She nodded, but there was nothing left to say and he backed out.

Warrick caught up with Nick before he got too far.

“What was that all about?” Warrick asked.

“Nothin’,” Nick replied, attempting to shrug off the rejection.

Warrick scoffed as he easily kept pace with Nick through the halls. “Don’t you nothin’ me. Somethin’ was going on in there. You looked like a nervous high school kid.”

Nick grimaced. “Thanks a lot man, I appreciate your honesty.” The sarcasm was thick. 

Grissom caught up with them. “Hey guys,” he handed them a memo full of details. “The whole team’s on this one.”

Nick reached his locker and began to roughly pull his things from it so he could head out.

Warrick sat down casually on the bench behind him and sipped from his paper cup. “Seriously Nick, what’s going on?”

Keeping secrets was too difficult, and Warrick wasn’t the kind to spill other people’s anyway.

“Looked to me like you were asking Mandy out on a date,” Warrick suggested casually before Nick could confess.

Nick abandoned the sacking of his locker, and turned around with a nervous smile on his face. “How could you possibly know that?”

“C’mon Nick, you’re pretty easy to read,” Warrick smiled and added: “And she made the same face when Hodges asked her out.”

“Well she said no, alright?” Nick replied, and turned back to continue to pull items from his locker. He repeated quietly to himself: “she said no.”

“Doesn’t really seem like your type,” Warrick offered as consolation.

“She’s not,” Nick admitted. It hadn’t been an attraction that had blown his hair back, but there’d always been something there. She wasn’t on his mind while he was buried alive and waiting to die, but since he’d started his recovery he had thought about his life and the things he wanted from it. The easy rapport they shared had always been so comfortable, and the more he thought about it the more he saw the possibility of a life there. “I’m gettin’ so tired man. Tired of datin’ waitresses and party girls and strippers.” He tacked the last one on bitterly. “What’s wrong with a girl that’s got brains, and isn’t just in it for a good time?”

“Nothin’,” Warrick replied, taking another sip of his coffee. “Sounds nice.”

“Yeah,” Nick sighed out.

“She’s pretty cute too,” Warrick added, not-so-slyly.

“Yeah she is,” Nick said defensively, though it hadn’t been a jab. “But it doesn’t matter. She said no.”

“Woah woah woah,” Warrick stood and leaned against the locker next to Nick. “She denied you, and you’re just gonna give up?”

Nick nodded. “Look man, we’ve gotta head out to this scene. First day back, I don’t wanna be later. Keep it under your hat ok? You wanna ride out with me?”

“No problem,” Warrick replied, finishing his coffee and tossing the cup in the bin. “I’m just gonna grab my stuff.”

“You do that,” Nick replied sullenly as he realized that he had pulled everything out of his locker without a thought for what he was doing. He piled most of it back in unceremoniously and headed to the garage.

 

Mandy cricked her neck left and right attempting to ease the tension building in it. What a day. The prints she’d been finishing for the swing shift had all been unusable partials, and the sheer number of prints from Catherine’s scene had been overwhelming. Too many prints, too little time. And so far, no hits.

The neck stretches weren’t working, and she got up and found her way to the break room for a tar-thick coffee and a pop tart. The break room was abandoned, and she lingered, watching the sports highlights playing on the TV.

“Hey Mandy,” Warrick called from behind her.

She didn’t take her eyes off the screen. “Nothing yet, sorry. Catherine sent me about a million prints and I’m working my way through. No hits yet.” She cocked her head to the side and sighed, disappointed by the Seahawks final.

“Ok, thanks,” Warrick replied, “but I’m here about something else.”

“What’s that?” She turned her attention away from the TV that had delivered the bad news.

“It’s about Nick,” he lowered his voice.

She knit her brows, unsure how to respond. He’d asked her out at the beginning of shift, and she’d declined. End of story. She wasn’t sure what else to say, and thought it was a little weird that he’d gone out and told Warrick.

“Listen,” Warrick continued in his low confidential tone. “He’s just gettin’ back into it, been havin’ a hard time...”

“I get it,” she nodded. “Super nice guy and all that, but I don’t date people at work.”

“I thought that was just an excuse to brush off Hodges,” Warrick admitted.

Mandy shook her head. “Nope. I’ve never made an exception.”

“You know, he’s not the kind of guy to make it awkward if things don’t work out.”

“But I am,” she admitted. “I don’t break up well.”

“Maybe you won’t break up.”

“Everybody breaks up Warrick,” Mandy said matter-of-factly and started her walk back to the print lab.

“Come on. Isn’t there anything I could say to change your mind?” Warrick asked as he followed her down the hall. Despite her quick pace he kept up easily.

“Nope,” she replied.

Wendy called out from DNA on their way by: “Warrick, I’ve got those results for you.”

“Be right there,” he replied and followed Mandy into the print lab, closing the door behind him.

Strangely reminded of the encounter with Nick earlier she pointed at the door. “I like to keep it open. Airflow.”

Warrick ignored her. “I know you hit the button,” he said softly.

It came out like a simple fact, but sounded like a threat to Mandy’s ears. She narrowed her eyes at him, but didn’t respond. 

“I wonder if Nick knows,” Warrick replied calmly.

“I’m sure he guessed,” she said. “Damn near everybody in here pressed that button.” She raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure what’s going on here. Are you trying to threaten me?”

“I’m just saying that he might find out,” Warrick replied. It wasn’t spiteful, she knew, he was just trying to help out a friend, but this was the part of Warrick she had always sensed was there and had never liked. He would do whatever it took.

“If you think it means that much to him, then it’s definitely a bad idea to tell him,” she replied, turning her attention back to her computer and the massive amount of work she had. “I’m not a-” She paused, looking for the word she couldn’t place, “relationship person.”

“Listen Mandy,” Warrick played that he was getting friendly with her. His own good cop/bad cop routine. “I know you guys are friends. I just don’t know how it might change your friendship if he knew that you pushed that button.”

“You pushed it,” she replied meeting his eyes, and starting to feel hostile. She had a lot of work to do and was tired of the office politics crap. “Did it change your relationship?”

“Me and Nicky are different,” he replied. “We’ve been through a lot of shit together.”

With a heavy sigh she pinched the back of her neck to try and relieve some of the tension. “Can you leave the door open on the way out? I have a lot of work to do.”

Warrick just nodded, and crossed the hall to DNA, leaving the door open.

Whether she knew it or not the idea had been planted in her mind, and she began to dwell on whether or not Nick would actually care or be hurt that she had been part of the torture he’d endured.

 

Finished with the autopsy, Nick took the enhanced bruise photos up to the lab. They’d been able to get clear tire impressions from the torso, and he intended to match them up. Sitting at a computer and running through comparison pictures of tire treads wasn’t his idea of a great time, and his eyes were beginning to burn.

The door opened, but he was concentrating and didn’t look up.

“Looks like fun,” Mandy offered.

“Oh, hey Mandy,” Nick replied, trying to sound preoccupied and not dismissive. “Yeah, it’s a bundle of fun.”

“Good news or bad news first?” She asked.

Trying to think of how he would have responded had he not made a fool of himself with her earlier, he said: “I always take my bad news first.”

“All of the prints you brought in match your victim.”

“Just great,” he sighed and stood up to stretch his back muscles. “What’s the good news?”

“I ordered Thai from that place you liked last time,” she said. “Thought you probably needed to eat something.”

“Thanks,” he replied. That Thai place really was good, and his mouth started to water thinking about it, his stomach empty from hours combing through the scene with no breaks. “But I gotta get on this if we’re going to get anywhere.”

“Come on dude,” she pleaded. “You’ve gotta eat something. I ordered extra this time so you wouldn’t eat all of my leftovers.”

“Just a quick break,” he conceded with a smile. Maybe it would be that easy to put things back the way they had been.

Nick couldn’t have been more wrong. Once he’d flipped over to the idea of Mandy as something more, he found it hard to just flip back. Even the way she spilled noodles down her chin was cute, and made his chest ache for what might have been, but he did his best to laugh and poke fun at her the way he might have before.

“This was a good idea,” he said thankfully, when he had eaten his fill. “Sometimes when you’re focused you don’t notice just how hungry you are.” Once he’d emptied the box he was eating from, he tipped it up to let the last of the sauce and remaining bits fall into his mouth.

The break room was empty, save for him and Mandy, and there was a replay of the football game on from the day before. A perfect break.

“What the hell is that?” Mandy yelled at the screen.

“You know this game was over hours ago,” he laughed, “even if they could hear you it’s way too late for that.”

“I know,” she pouted into her box of food and jabbed angrily with her chopsticks, “I saw the score earlier.”

“Hopefully I can clear this case up within the next 48,” Nick said. “There’s a Cowboys game I wouldn’t mind watchin’.”

“Don’t worry, they’ll lose,” Mandy grinned.

Nick returned her smile. “You know I wouldn’t go bein’ so cocky with sweet chili all over your face.” He returned his attention to the game, and was just getting ready to get up and get back to work.

“Hey Nick?” Mandy said quietly, watching the game and fiddling with the chopsticks in her takeout box. “I pushed the button.”

Silence fell between them, and Nick listened to the commentators give the play-by-play without really listening to what they were saying. There was a sort of rhythm to listening to sports that soothed him. It reminded him of his childhood; Watching sports with his father in the den. 

Suddenly there was a hole where his stomach had been, part of it was now in his throat and the other part had descended, causing him to feel like he was freefalling. 

The infamous button. The button that had switched on the camera and light when he’d been buried alive. The button that had switched off the fan feeding him fresh air from outside.

“Twice,” Mandy continued in that awkward way she had of filling silences unnecessarily. “I pushed it twice.”

The subject needed to be dropped. He didn’t want to talk about it. Didn’t want to think about it. There was a tire tread database waiting for him.

“I’m sorry,” she said, finally meeting his eyes. He couldn’t recall having ever heard her apologize to anyone for anything before.

The spit in his mouth felt like cement, but he swallowed it eventually. “It’s alright,” he breathed out, trying to steady himself. The psychologist had said that deep breathing was a good starting place to get him through these rough patches. Recurring memories of a traumatic event could hit at any moment, could be triggered by anything. “I figured everybody pushed that damn button at least once,” the word “damn” came out with more fire than he had intended. A choked laugh followed as his attempt to make light of the situation.

Mandy’s eyebrows drew up, and her deep brown eyes were a little misty, but there was resolve there too. “I think-”

“Nick?” Sara’s voice approached from behind. “Did you get anything yet?”

Surprised, he jumped at her voice and knocked over an empty food container. “Oh, hey Sara.”

Sara didn’t sit, but loomed over the table holding a folder of her own, looking at him expectantly.

“Not yet,” he conceded. “Just needed to refuel.”

“If you pull anything soon we should head back out to the scene together,” she replied. “There’s not much more I can get from the bodies.”

“The prints all belonged to the woman,” Mandy interrupted awkwardly.

“That’s unfortunate,” Sara said as she flipped open the folder and began to review it while she walked toward the hall, almost walking into a wall on the way.

“That’s my cue,” Nick said apologetically. He cleared up the containers he’d managed to empty during the short break and headed for the door. “Thanks for dinner Mandy.” 

He pushed the “button” conversation to the back of his mind. Their friendship seemed to be intact at least, and he was grateful. Among other things it was nice to have a friend to talk sports with. Another fan to watch with. When Warrick looked at sports all he saw was the stats, the angles, the spread. Mandy looked and saw the excitement, the unknown, the joy of watching her team win, the frustration when they lost. Cat, Sara, Greg, Grissom, Hodges, Archie, Bobby: some of them watched a little sports, but they didn’t love it. It was a time waster for them.

Nick finished his search, finding a match that pointed a finger at the wife of the male DB. He left the results with Brass to process while he caught a ride with Sara back to the scene.

 

Mandy had made the decision, and she couldn’t decide if Warrick had put it into her head, but she didn’t care. A decision had been made and it would distract her if she didn’t act on it. She didn’t like to go backwards. It was a crazy decision: to date Nick Stokes, and yet here she was thinking about it seriously. Convinced that it was the look on his face when she told him she had pushed the button that had changed her mind, she resolved to act on it by the end of shift. She needed to get Nick alone and propose a time and date. It seemed to make the most sense to get it over with: breakfast after shift would be the best time to do it. Frank’s Diner: a good casual atmosphere for a first date.

Once she had resolved to continue, she was no longer distracted and flew through the work she had in front of her. It wouldn’t be hard to catch Nick alone before the end of shift; It was rare that one of the field guys worked in a group for long unless there was a big project on the go. Divide and conquer seemed to be their motto.

Nick and Grissom had returned to the lab near the end of shift to check with Hodges on some car paint results. Once they’d finished, Grissom split from Nick and returned to his office. She jumped up from her desk and followed Nick to the break room, carrying her coffee cup as an excuse, where she found him pouring himself a coffee.

“Breakfast,” she said suddenly.

Nick looked up, confused, spilling a little coffee on the counter.

“Assuming neither of us stays late, we’re going to have breakfast together after shift.”

“I’m not-” He reached for a napkin to wipe up the mess.

“A date,” she interrupted. “Unless you changed your mind.” Mandy never saw any point in being anything but blunt and speaking her mind. People went through their daily lives and kept these little things from each other, these secrets, when the world would be such an easier place to navigate if people just said what they meant.

Nick shrugged. “No,” he said, “I haven’t changed my mind. What changed yours?”

“Warrick said something earlier,” she said.

“Well alright,” he replied after a pause, a smile on his face. “Breakfast then. I’ll see you after work.”

Mandy nodded as though they had just made a verbal business agreement, poured herself a cup of coffee and returned to her lab. The tension in her eased, it was done now.

 

Nick approached Warrick in the locker room at the end of shift. “Listen man, what did you say to Mandy?” He played up the stern voice with a stern expression.

“Who says I did?” Warrick asked in his casually defensive way. It was rare for him to get worked up enough to lose his cool.

“Mandy.”

“Ah,” Warrick leaned back against the locker. “Listen Nick, I just thought maybe she hadn’t thought it through was all. I just pointed out some of your finer selling features.”

“Did you now?” Nick replied. “I don’t need your help man. I’m a big boy and I’ve been gettin’ my own girls for years.”

“She changed her mind didn’t she?” Warrick smiled knowingly.

“Well yeah, she did,” Nick smiled reluctantly in return, “but I didn’t need your help.” He got serious again. “Either she would have come around or not, but I’m not about to back her into a corner.”

Warrick held his hands up. “I didn’t back her anywhere. You just make sure you don’t screw it up from here on out.”

Nick gathered up his things and went to find Mandy.

“Gregg just dropped me about twenty prints that he needs yesterday,” Mandy said when Nick entered her lab. “I’m working as fast as I can, but I’ll probably be another hour at least.”

“Oh,” Nick tried not to seem too disappointed. “Why don’t I help you run through them? I can scan them in and you can do the comparisons?”

“That would be a huge help,” she sighed out with exaggeration.

Working shoulder to shoulder in the quiet, built a sort of tension between them that Nick savored. The occasional touch of a hand when they strayed into each other’s work area, or the time she took the mouse from him to navigate more quickly then he was able, built anticipation for the time in the future that he fancied he may actually get to touch her skin. Mandy didn’t seem to notice and plowed on through the work as though it were just another normal hour of overtime.

“Hey Nicky,” Cat greeted with the flirtatious grin that he had always coveted. “What are you doing in here? Still working on that trailer?”

“Naw, gettin’ back at that one tomorrow,” he answered, as he clicked the button to set the next IAFIS search running, “I was just lendin’ a hand. Finished up for the mornin’, thought Mandy here could benefit from my expertise.”

“I know I always can,” Catherine said flirtatiously. “You guys got anything for me?”

“Sorry,” Mandy answered, her eyes solely on her work. “I ran all of yours earlier but the prints from the bag were too smudged to get any solid prints to run. I did what I could.”

“Alright,” Cat replied, disappointed. “I have a report to file on officer negligence. Catch you later.” The last was directed at Nick.

Searches finished and results submitted to Greg and Sara, they were free to continue with their plans.

Mandy had suggested Frank’s, the favored greasy spoon of the night shift. Since they’d gotten out late he knew the others would be gone already, if they’d come out for breakfast at all.

Sitting in a booth, across from each other and sipping at cups of coffee they were alone at last, outside of the lab. It seemed strange to see her without her lab coat on, not bad, just strange. The collared shirt she wore was unbuttoned to reveal a clingy tank top that he found distracting. The concentration she normally reserved for her computer was turned on Nick, and he felt a little uncomfortable at the focus.

“Why did you say no at first?” Nick asked.

“I don’t date coworkers,” she replied. “Revised: I didn’t date coworkers.”

“What changed your mind?” He asked.

“I think it was Warrick,” she admitted seemingly unsure.

“Alright here we go,” he said, “if Warrick convinced you that I need a pity date… I don’t, ok?”

“No, no,” she said, hesitating. “I guess it was two things. Warrick and the look on your face when I told you I pushed that button.”

Nick wasn’t sure how to respond, and looked down into his coffee cup, smelling the hot bitter steam.

“So Warrick comes in and basically threatens me-”

“Hold on,” Nick interrupted, startled. “Warrick threatened you?”

“Just a little,” she replied, as though it were obvious. “He said he would tell you that I pressed the button if I didn’t go out with you, and-”

“Ok, so you’re only here because Warrick threatened you?” Nick was confused.

“Would you let me finish already?” She asked with a smile that dimpled her cheeks. “So then I decided to tell you about it because it was bugging me. And then I told you. And I don’t know if you know this, but you don’t hide your emotions very well.”

Nick ducked his head again. This wasn’t a topic he had wanted to broach on their first date. It was too deep and too personal. First dates were supposed to be fun and dancing and maybe some making out. Often the making out became more than that, but this time was different and he led his mind away from that train of thought. Why had he brought her here?

“Anyway, it was the combination of the two,” she continued. “I thought: if he’s got friends that will go to that length for him he must be a decent guy. And not playing macho in that shitty conversation with me was pretty good too.”

Nick quirked a little smile at her, not sure what to make of this girl. Always a little odd, he’d never spent too much time in a serious conversation with her. It had always been sports or random interests, but no serious life stuff. He hoped he hadn’t made a terrible and impulsive mistake. Maybe he should have stuck with girls he could easily understand. Maybe he should have let this relationship be, and enjoyed it for what it was. Too late for that now.

“Sorry,” she breathed out. “I talk too much sometimes. Especially when I’m nervous.”

He nodded, and his smile grew a little.

“In case you weren’t sure, I’m nervous,” she added.

“That makes two of us,” he replied.

The waitress saved them by coming up for coffee refills and taking their order. Mandy ordered enough food for four people.

“I like variety,” she said when he raised his eyebrows at her order. “I can never decide.”

“So, Mandy Webster,” Nick started, leaning over the table and leaving the statement open ended.

Mandy leaned across toward him and spoke low, like they were telling secrets. “So, Nick Stokes,” she replied with a grin. “Can you tell me what we’re doing here?”

“We’re on a date,” he said. “I only take the girls I really like to dives like this.”

Suspicion in her face, she leaned back and propped her chin on her palm. “First: let’s not forget this was my suggestion, so it’s more like I brought you here. But I mean, what was it about me that made you suddenly come see me last night?”

“Just what I said,” he replied honestly, leaning back and putting his arm across the back of the booth, starting to relax. “I was thinking about the things I might regret if I wasn’t here tomorrow.” And here they were back to “button” topics again. It seemed everything in his life lately came back to that damn box. “I started thinking about the sports highlight reel we watch when we get to eat lunch together. The things I see on the highlights I want to talk to you about when you’re not around. I just thought about wanting more of that.”

The smile she wore grew by the second, but there was a note of pity in it. “It’s just a little football talk. I saw you talking to Wendy about dirt bikes or something the other day. Why not Wendy?” There was no self-deprecation in the question. She wasn’t asking what made her good enough for him, she was genuinely curious. Most of the women he’d dated were so focused on their looks that they were self-conscious all the time.

Nick shrugged. “It’s just not the same,” he said. “It’s a feeling, I guess. Instinct.” Disappointment choked him for a second: she didn’t feel it too, otherwise she wouldn’t have to ask. It was this very moment when he realized that it had been years since someone had rejected him. Every serious relationship he’d ever started, or almost started, had ended because he had lost interest or not found the spark there that he’d thought was there at the beginning. More often than not it was because it had been a relationship based on physical attraction to begin with and the passion had fizzled. There was a fear building in him that this was the rejection that he’d always feared, and why he had always left first.

While he was ruminating on this possibility, his eyes found a figure over Mandy’s shoulder that was coming toward them.

Greg plopped down next to Nick. “Hey my man,” he greeted enthusiastically. “What’s happenin’?”

“Hey Greggo,” Nick greeted, feeling suddenly guilty about the interruption, as though Greg would guess what they were doing at the diner. “What are you doing here?”

“Me and Sara just finished getting that car towed in and decided to come over for a late breakfast,” Greg replied. “Mandy, how’s the lab treating you? I can tell you I don’t miss it at all.”

“Well we don’t miss you either,” Mandy razzed. “Everything is always so much cleaner, and quieter.”

“That’s part of my charm,” Greg defended, snapping his collar.

Sara joined them at the table with two coffees, pushing one toward Greg. “Hey guys,” she greeted. “Fancy meeting you here.” She raised her eyebrows to Nick once she caught his eye. With that knowing grin of hers, she darted a quick glance at Mandy and back at Nick. She was so perceptive about the strangest things, and so out of touch with others.

They talked about cases and speculated about Warrick’s new wife, and when Mandy’s breakfast came she made herself a plate with a little of everything and slid the rest to Sara and Greg.

Conversation became an easy thing again with Sara and Greg in the mix, and the awkwardness leeched away. Mandy still seemed amicable toward Nick, but she was so hard to read he wasn’t sure if she was genuinely still interested in dating. Nick paid the bill, Sara and Greg split. Mandy and Nick followed close behind.

“Hey Nick?” Mandy called out over the roof of her little Toyota.

“Yeah?” He replied, turning toward her.

A giant smile lit her face. “When’s your next day off?”

“After tonight’s shift,” he replied.

“I’ve got a 64 inch TV. Why don’t you come over for the Cowboys game?”

“You sure?” He asked, and hoped it didn’t sound like he was confirming a booty call.

“Totally dude,” she said. “Bring beer, it’s the rules.”

“The rules?” He asked.

“Can’t watch football without beer,” she said, before ducking into her car and driving off.

This girl was turning him in circles. He felt a little dizzy, like he didn’t know which way was up for a minute before he jumped into his SUV and cranked the A/C to cool himself down.


	2. Wait, Was That A First Date?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are confusing when you're trying to date a coworker and friend.
> 
>  
> 
> Almost done with the buildup... next chapter gets to the good stuff. Sorry it's taking so long... but I love these two and wanted it to feel organic.

The rest of Nick’s case had been fieldwork, and Mandy hadn’t seen him in the lab during their whole shift the night before. 

She prepared for football the way she would have any other day: Copious amounts of junk food in all categories were unceremoniously overcrowding the coffee table: sweet, salty, liquid cheese. Beer was chilled in the fridge.

With the pre-game chatter blaring from her TV she found she was unable to sit down. The moment her butt had sunk into the couch she forgot one thing or another. Had she remembered to turn the coffee maker off that morning? Had she left underwear hanging in the bathroom? All of these questions began to stream through her head and made her realize just how nervous she was. What a foolish thing to do! Invite this guy to her house when they hadn’t even been on a proper date! Maybe he thought he was going to get laid. That hadn’t been her intention. Or had it? Now she was second-guessing herself, which she hated.

Unsure if she would hear the knock at the front door while she was buzzing around trying to waste time, she propped the front door open a crack.

 

Nick parked in front of the small house. The outside had a run-down look, but as he got closer he realized everything was clean and tidy, the house was just old. There was a large tree in the small front yard that was starting to push its roots up through the sidewalk. As instructed he’d brought a six pack of beer. Watching football was a pretty casual night together, so he’d dressed accordingly in a t-shirt and jeans.

At the front step, he noticed that the front door was cracked open, and his stomach dropped out. A feeling bubbled up in his gut like he was entering a crime scene as he knocked on the door and it swung open further. He walked a few steps into the house, careful not to touch anything; Some things were so ingrained in him now that he didn’t even think about doing them or not doing them. The TV called out pre-game stats down the hall, but there was no other sound: no movement or voices.

“Hello?” He called down the hallway, clutching the six-pack too tightly.

“Come on in!” Mandy called back from further into the house.

His breath came out shaky; He’d been unintentionally holding it in. Shutting the door behind him, he walked toward the sound of the TV and into a bright open living/dining room. The walls were painted a light blue, and with the sun streaming in it felt light and airy. There was no one in sight, a mountain of food piled on the coffee table. The kitchen opened on the left, a patio door ahead, and a hall to the right that most likely led to bedrooms.

“Are you crazy?” He called out angrily to Mandy, wherever she was hiding. Dumping the beer on the kitchen counter he wandered back down the hall in search of her. His voice was serious. “You work in the crime lab, and you just leave your front door open like that while you’re home alone?” Pictures of family adorned frames throughout the hallway, but Nick was too angry to stop and look. “You just call out to anyone to come inside?” He walked past a bathroom and a spare room occupied by a desk littered with files and documents. The last door on the left at the end of the hall was partially closed, much like the front door had been, and he put his knuckles to it and knocked hard.

His frustration had pulled him down the hallway, and now he realized that he must be standing at her bedroom door, which felt awkward considering they hadn’t even been on a real date yet. Changing his mind, he was about to turn and walk back down the hallway when the door swung open in front of him.

“I knew it was you Tex,” she said, amused. When she saw the look on his face she tried to chew at her cheek to minimize her smile, but it didn’t work.

“Mandy, I’m serious,” and he was. It wasn’t a protective boyfriend vibe he felt, too early for that, it was concern for a friend.

She leaned in the doorway, and he didn’t think she meant to be flirtatious, but she was anyway. Her hair was tied back into a tight tail at the top of her head, and her bangs hung around her face. She was wearing black sweat pants and a clingy cotton Seahawks t-shirt. “Cross my heart next time I have guests coming over I’ll lock the deadbolt and the chain.”

He wasn’t done arguing, since she wasn’t taking him seriously, but he didn’t want to ruin the afternoon and here she was whole and unharmed standing in front of him. So he just nodded solemnly, and stepped aside so she could lead him back to the living room.

As she walked past he got a quick glimpse of her bedroom before he followed her. It was a clean sparse room, and he guessed she had just been tidying up from the way the closet doors seemed to be bulging. Daring not to wonder why she would clean her bedroom for him, he followed her.

 

 

The pre-game ended and the game started. Mandy grabbed a beer for both of them and deposited the rest in the fridge.

“Is anyone else coming over?” Nick asked, eyeing the coffee table full of food, as he caught the beer she tossed him.

“No,” she answered warily. Had he thought it was going to be a group thing? She thought this was supposed to be a sort-of first date. “Isn’t this kind of our replacement first date for breakfast?”

Nick cracked his beer and frowned. “It’s a lot of food,” he replied, not answering her question.

The sun was setting, and the yard started to grow dark, giving the living room a cozy feeling.

Nick got up and wandered to her patio door to look over the back yard. She wasn’t a gardener, and she wasn’t proud of it, but at least the grass was cut and watered thanks to 14 year-old Gabe next door. “This is a great place,” he said. “Whoever had my place before, paved the backyard completely.”

“Gross,” she replied. “There’s concrete everywhere in Vegas. Why would you want it in your back yard too?”

“Who knows why people do the things they do?” He replied.

“I’ve always wanted to put in a little garden,” she said, making conversation, “but I haven’t gotten around to it. I wouldn’t take care of it anyway.”

“You should do it,” his encouragement wasn’t very enthusiastic, and he returned to sit next to her on the couch. Her legs were curled up underneath her and when he sank into the couch she felt his weight move the cushions next to her. What an idiot she was. This was the perfect situation to hook up. First it was making out on the couch, and then laying down on the couch and before you knew it the show was over. And he looked really good, even though he was only wearing a t-shirt. He made the t-shirt look good. This had been a terrible idea.

“This was a terrible idea,” she said aloud apologetically.

Nick almost spit out the foamy sip of beer he’d just taken, and had to catch some with his hand. She tried not to smile, and chewed her cheek to try to hide her smile again, but couldn’t. She fished a napkin from the over laden coffee table and handed it to him.

A large sigh came out as he dabbed at the drips on his dark t-shirt. She was hoping her comment would pass unnoticed when he kindly said: “It wasn’t a terrible idea.”

“A first date isn’t football and sweat pants and junkfood,” she said. “I’m not really good at this dating thing. Can we just hang out tonight and start again tomorrow?”

Nick smiled and nodded his head a few times. “It’s a deal.” He held out his hand, and she shook it. His grip was firm and warm, and when they let go his index finger brushed her palm and made her face warm-up like a teenage girl.

She couldn’t escape the feeling that he wanted more from her. And it wasn’t a physical thing; It wasn’t that she thought he wanted to go straight for her bedroom, but somehow she was a disappointment. It wouldn’t change who she was. Nobody’s opinion of her had ever mattered, except her own. But there it was hanging in the air, and she noticed it. Somewhere in his eyes was that hesitation that made her think she wasn’t meeting a standard.

 

 

They argued back and forth, just as they had always done, over players and scores and plays and refs. Nick defended his team to the bitter end, and each bad play was a bit of ammunition she used to score a hit. The ease of their friendship fell back into place as though none of the talk of dating had occurred at all, and he was left wondering how to transition this relationship into something else. Breakfast might have been a good start, but they had been interrupted.

During a commercial, the satellite lost signal, and the screen went blank, offering apologies for technical difficulties.

Mandy sank back into the cushions and sighed. “It happens once in a while,” she looked over at him. “Just give it a few minutes and it will come back up.”

With the silence of the TV there was a pause, and it was a pause of everything. Eyes trained on each other they had stopped speaking, stopping moving. This was the perfect moment: The perfect time to lean forward, raise a hand to her cheek, brush some hair aside and kiss her. 

It was in this moment that he realized he had created a formula for romance and arousal. It was a formula that had most often led him to one-night stands, and numbers he opted not to call again. He had been treating his love life like a science. He knew exactly what time to add which ingredient for optimal results. Except the results his system yielded were only ever short term. 

So he didn’t lean forward, and he didn’t brush the hair aside. Instead he grinned and let himself feel what he was feeling, not what he thought he should feel. It was the sweet anticipation at the beginning of a relationship. He watched the adorable pucker of her generous dimples as she returned his smile.

 

At that moment, when they sat smiling at each other like idiots she watched the hesitation and disappointment in his eyes pop like a soap bubble and disappear. It was the first time in her life that she could remember making a difference without opening her mouth and saying something. Opting to follow his lead, she dropped her expectations of their fledgling relationship and watched him change before her eyes. The grin she’d always assumed was mischievous, probably because of his reputation with women, was instead sweet and honest. Eyes that she’d always thought dark and cold, were warm and welcoming.

The silence stretched on for too long and started to become uncomfortable. Just then the signal returned, announcing a surprise touchdown that turned both their heads.

“Aw come on now,” he berated his team, sitting forward and swatting at the air. “What’re you boys doin’?”

Silenced by their shared moment she couldn’t summon a witty jab quickly enough and stayed quiet, but he surprised her.

“What?” He asked. “Not gonna pick on my boys?”

“I don’t think they need my help,” she mocked.

He settled in next to her on the couch, and put his arm along the back. His warmth radiated toward her. It was a nice feeling. She gravitated toward it and before long found herself snug against his side, his arm around her shoulders. It was a comfort she never knew she had wanted. Perhaps it was a first date after all?

 

They had parted ways at the end of the night as friends, but something between them had changed. After her door had closed behind him, Nick had listened as she loudly locked the deadbolt and pulled the chain across. It would have brought a grin to his face if his smile had ever faded. His steps were light as he got into his SUV and drove home.

With his work schedule the way it was he was a night owl and stayed up the rest of the night, watching Discovery Channel and catching up with some personal email. His mother had sent her monthly update on the rest of the family and he cherished the details. 

He stayed awake as long as he could to keep his sleep schedule on track, but finally grew too weary to stay up any longer. Sleep was elusive as he lay in bed watching the ceiling. Thoughts ran through his head and he remembered the feel of her soft shoulders under his arm while her hair tickled his skin. He wondered what it would be like to touch her skin. Would she be warm, or cool, to the touch? This was new territory for him. Usually he got past the physical stuff almost immediately and then there was no wondering about touches and tastes. But now, because he hadn’t acted, he was left to sit, imagine and anticipate.

 

Things had gone pretty well in her estimation. The house didn’t take long to clean up, and Mandy turned her attention to her office. The file she’d been working on for image code-breaking was left abandoned on the desk. Taking the printed images with her, she returned to the living room, and fanned them out like oversized cards while the sports replays buzzed at her in the background. 

After an hour of staring at the different images and making notes she realized she couldn’t focus and her neck had started to ache. She slipped out into the back yard. The night was cool, and she walked into the grass, the cool ground easing the tension in her body. What a time to try to focus on something serious. Thinking about him, and the way he looked at her brought a smile to her face. 

It was early enough to be late for her, and she abandoned the pictures on the coffee table and went to bed. She curled up into her pillows and closed her eyes. Before two minutes elapsed they were open again and she stared at her bedside table; The clock shone the time out into the room. She didn’t remember it being so bright. Like having neon lights humming the time at her. She flipped to the other side. Her thoughts strayed back to the day. Things had gone pretty well. Better than she had expected. She’d been anxious that he would want things to be physical immediately, based on his reputation. In her experience that was a good way to have fun, which with Nick could be really fun, but not to start anything more than that. God did she want to have fun. He looked like he would be delicious. Anticipation to get touching and sharing fluids had never been so strong for her. 

The men she’d been with before had always treated her like she should have been glad that they wasted their time wanting her. She blamed this on the odd way she blurted out most of her thoughts; The filter from her brain to her mouth seemed to have a pretty loose weave. People thought she was strange. Which was why she fit in so well with the rest of the lab crew, they all shared a synchronous weirdness. But Nick looked at her like something he wanted, if only she would return the sentiment. Being desired was a great aphrodisiac. Her thoughts floated back to their comfortable closeness, and she drifted off imagining his arm around her.


	3. A Tough Nut To Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An incident in the morgue causes some unpleasant memories to rise to the surface, which in turn prompts Nick to buy Mandy a truck full of dirt.

Nick walked into the lab whistling an old Waylon Jennings song that was stuck in his head. “Them neon light nights, couldn’t stay out of fights,” he sung low as he walked into the locker room.

“You’re in a good mood,” Warrick said with a suggestive smile as he hung his jacket in his locker. “You get some action?”

“I did not get some action,” Nick admitted happily, stowing his ball cap and jacket in his own locker. “It’s looking good though.” He winked at Warrick.

“D’you learn the language yet?” Warrick asked.

“Whaddya mean?”

“That girl is on a totally different wavelength man. From all the other girls you’ve been down with anyway,” Warrick said honestly. “It’s gonna be a different ballgame.”

Nick conceded the point and sat down on the bench. “You’re not lyin’,” he admitted. “But I can’t get her outta my head man.”

“That’s a good thing,” Warrick reassured him.

“Here’s hopin’ it goes both ways,” Nick shrugged.

“What are you guys waiting for?” Grissom asked, irritated as he walked past the room.

“Back to the grind,” Warrick said with a smile.

“Nick, you’re on a 420 with Catherine,” Grissom handed out the assignments once Warrick and Nick had joined him. “Catherine is in the garage waiting for you.”

“You got it boss,” Nick grabbed the memo and went to get the essentials. He rushed; If Cat was waiting she wouldn’t be happy.

“Hey pretty lady,” Nick flirted as he threw his kit into the back and jumped into the passenger seat. Catherine didn’t even wait for him to buckle up before she pulled out of the garage. Generally she appreciated his flirtations and he was hoping to put her in a good mood.

“You know what Nick? I’ve been waiting for you for fifteen minutes,” she started in on him, cranky about something, “wake up on the slow side of the bed today?”

“Sorry Cat,” he apologized, buckling in as she sped through the streets. “Runnin’ a little late this morning, that’s all.” He’d been right on time for shift, but the first rule of working with Cat was that when you could compromise she was always right.

Several police cars waited at the scene, lights flashing into the dark night. Normally a scene like this would have a crowd of people stretching the tape to see what was happening, but the street was dead aside from the police. Sophia waited for them beside one of the cars, watching the scene and ensuring no one contaminated anything. It was definitely useful to have ex-CSIs on the other side of things.

Nick and Catherine pulled their kits from the back of the SUV and followed Sophia to the middle of the street.

“Teenager,” she prompted, “Looks like 16 or 17. There was a cop prowling just one street over who heard the shots. Got here in no time. The kid was still alive, so he didn’t pursue and stayed with the vic. Called in the description of the car, but he didn’t get the plate. David just got here. So far as we can tell no one saw anything, but we’re still canvasing.” She pointed up the street to where a few officers were knocking on doors. “I’ll let you know if we get anything.”

“Unlikely in this neighborhood,” Catherine said as they came upon the body. “Shot in the middle of the street like this. There were witnesses, but nobody’s gonna talk.”

David was crouched over the DB, beginning his exam. 

“Yeah,” Nick agreed. “The gangs in this neighborhood don’t like snitches.”

Once David had processed the body, they were able to handle the corpse and discovered just what they thought. He was shot through the back and left lying in the street. They photographed what they could find. There was no trail leading away from the body, casings were in plain sight. No tire marks. The street was dry, so no footprints. It looked like a gang killing, and unless they were able to match the bullets to a gun in the system, or get someone to talk it probably wouldn’t amount to much.

Sophia approached. “We think we’ve got a witness, but she’s pretty tight lipped,” she said.

Catherine looked intrigued. “She? Let’s check it out. Nicky, you head back to the lab. Sophia can drop me when we’re done.”

Nick nodded, and finished collecting the casings that had rolled along the street. With his case and evidence in hand he returned to the lab.

Unable to help himself, he stopped by the print lab on his way to the morgue, but Grissom sat at Mandy’s computer. He didn’t even look up, and Nick kept walking. Must be her day off. Too bad.

In the morgue Doc Robbins had finished washing and documenting the body.

“Kid’s name was Bertram Jones. 15 years old. Clothing and personal effects are over here,” Robbins commented, bringing Nick over to the bagged items. “He had a lot of cash in his wallet, and some casino chips. He wasn’t shot for his money.”

“Cops were on scene while the kid was still alive,” Nick replied.

“They must have been quick,” Robbins replied, “he would have died quickly.”

Nick held up the bag with the casino chips inside. There was a strange looking one he’d never seen before: Probably just a fake that somebody had sold the kid. Happened all the time; If you didn’t know what you were looking for, you could be easily duped.

“I’m gonna photograph these wounds,” Nick said.

“Alright,” Robbins replied. “It’s a busy night. I’ve been called out to another scene. Can you put him in the fridge when you’re done?”

Nick stayed behind alone in the morgue and positioned the bright lamp to attempt a good photograph of the GSWs. He’d just moved the light for the second time to try a new angle when he heard the door open behind him. “Hey David? Do you have that-”

“Shut up and keep quiet!” Someone hissed behind him.

Not recognizing the voice Nick turned and began to warn them. “You can’t be in here, this isn’t-” but he stopped when he saw the gun.

“Don’t you look at me!” The stranger commanded, jabbing the gun toward Nick. He’d gotten only a glimpse before he looked down. Caucasian, a gothic neck tattoo, shaved head.

The pulse racing panic immediately sent his body into overdrive, but Nick resisted the strong urge to bolt, and held his hands up high. The large heavy camera in his right hand would make an excellent weapon if the idiot came close enough. But it wouldn’t compete with a gun. He would never get used to having guns pointed at him. He felt naked without his vest on. It was locked safety in his locker upstairs with his gun; He never wore it in the morgue or the lab. 

“Listen friend: this is a bad idea,” Nick prompted. He willed his voice not to shake, not to show weakness, but was unsuccessful. “As soon as that weapon goes off there’ll be ten cops in that door.”

“You’ll still be dead!” The guy hissed.

Nick’s jaw quaked with nervousness, but he didn’t let out a sound at the threat. He wanted to scream, but he held it in and stared at the spotless tile floor.

“That Bertie?” The guy asked, shaking his gun around. Nick assumed that he was indicating the corpse.

“Bertram Jones,” Nick choked out.

“Where’s his shit?”

Nick waved the camera at the bags on the far counter.

The punk moved to the counter, put down his gun, and began to work at opening the bags. Nick took a breath to steady himself, and glanced up. The perp wasn’t watching him anymore, and Nick slowly slid his foot quietly along the floor, taking slow smooth steps toward the door.

Suddenly the guy jumped, grabbed the gun and flipped back toward Nick. “What’re you doin’ man?” The guy screeched. Nick hoped it was loud enough to get someone’s attention. “I told you don’t move!” He’d quieted his voice again once he’d stopped panicking.

There was a moment of stillness between then, Nick looking at the ground, waiting for a sound or a command. Experience told him that the silence meant a decision was being made and he closed his eyes and hoped this guy made the right one. “You just take what you need to partner,” Nick said softly. “You just get what you need and go.”

“You’re pushin’ me man,” was the angry response.

Nick watched the guy’s feet, expensive sneakers and jeans, as he wandered toward the wall of morgue fridges. The perp opened one: occupied. Slammed the door. Second one: occupied. Slammed the door. Third one: empty.

“Alright,” the guy breathed. “Get in.”

Nick’s stomach shot up into his throat. No. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

“You get right in here and then I can do what I got to in peace and nobody gets dead.”

Nick tried to swallow but his mouth was bone dry. “I can’t,” he breathed out.

“Get in!” The voice was more commanding now, less nervous, and Nick believed he would not survive if he didn’t do as told.

Slowly, he felt like he was watching himself from the outside, he took one step and then another toward the fridge. The perp had backed off as Nick approached the door, so they wouldn’t be too close, and watched.

“You some kinda pussy?” The guy asked.

“Please,” Nick pleaded, and looked up once more, hoping to summon sympathy, but the eyes he met were cold.

“I said don’t look at me! Get in the fucking drawer.”

Nick set the camera in ahead of him, unsure why he was taking it with except that his fingers felt frozen to it they were clenched so tight. He crawled into the drawer, and immediately felt the cold sink into his bones. As soon as the door closed behind him the panic set in and he let loose the fear and emotions that were rising up inside of him, his eyes hot with tears. He wanted to scream and thrash, but knew that if he did, the guy would open the door and it wouldn’t end well.

That small space felt just the size of a coffin, a coffin buried in the earth. There were no releases on the inside doors of the morgue fridges, no way to get out without help. Trying to distract himself from the fear and the memories, he looked at his watch to check the time. How long would he wait before he started to kick at the door to free himself? Now that the thought had entered his head all he wanted to do was lash out with his feet until the door broke from its hinges and flew across the room. His legs itched to move. Tears streamed from his eyes and felt like ice on his cheeks.

As he shifted he felt a hard lump in the back pocket of his jeans and cursed himself for not remembering his phone earlier. He finally let go of the camera as softly as he could, his hand was sore from gripping it so hard. Never having experimented, he didn’t know how soundproof, or not, the drawers were, so he wrapped his phone in his t-shirt as he texted Warrick. The beeping of the buttons as he typed each letter seemed to ring out loudly, he only hoped it was quiet enough not to arouse suspicion. Of everyone in his phone, he knew Warrick always had his phone turned on. His fingers shook as he typed, from his panic and the cold that was seeping into him.

After the message was sent, he tried to lay still, and felt the sweat on his skin being to cool him down and he started shaking in earnest, his body rattling around the antiseptic smelling little cage.

What was taking them so long? Where were they? He knew it was different this time. They would find him. He’d had a way to contact them. But it felt the same: The small space seeming to close in on him by the second. While he’d been buried underground he’d had a kind of dream about being dead in the morgue. Doc Robbins and David had pulled his drawer out and begun to cut into him. Would he be dead when they found him? Would they cut him open? It made his muscles tense with fear, and he bit his lip to keep his cries trapped in his chest.

Later he would learn that what felt like hours had only been thirty minutes when the door opened at his feet letting in a warm cascade of air. Torn between fear of the assailant and the need to be free he froze for a moment before he flailed around trying to crawl backward toward freedom. But the drawer was pulled at the same time, and he tumbled out into the warm morgue, scuttling away from the cold prison, knocking over carts and trays that clattered to the floor startling him.

Warrick came towards him, hands up to indicate that everything was alright. “It’s all good Nicky, we got you,” he soothed. But the words did nothing. Brain running full steam ahead, adrenaline pumping, he couldn’t slow down, and continued to lash out at the air around him. A group of people were gathered behind Warrick, but Nick was so panicked that he couldn’t make out faces.

Catherine knelt down next to him. “Nicky?” She offered her hand, and he took it. “He’s freezing,” she stated to the others without breaking eye contact with him.

As his adrenaline started to fade the world became fuzzy, and he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

“He’s losing it,” Warrick said, panic creeping into his voice. “Let those paramedics through!”

 

 

Mandy was pouring over her coding project when her cell rang. Without looking up she popped it open and greeted: “Hello,” making her “o” extra long like she always did. Maybe it would be Nick. They needed a real date already.

“Hey Mandy? It’s Warrick.”

“Oh hey dude,” she replied, still focused on her photos. “What’s up? You know I’m not in tonight, right?”

“I just wanted to give you a heads up in case Nick stops by,” Warrick said. “They just released him, and he’s a little messed up.”

“Released him?” She asked, dropping the photos back to her coffee table. “From where?”

Warrick’s dramatic intake of breath told her he was trying to think of a good way to phrase what he was going to say next. “He was only in the emergency room for an hour or so until they got his body temp back up, but he’s pretty screwed up. I just dropped him at his place.”

“What happened?”

Warrick related the story of the text from Nick and his imprisonment in the morgue fridge.

Mandy didn’t have anything to say. She wanted to do something, but she couldn’t really do something. They weren’t really a couple. They weren’t even good enough friends to warrant her calling him.

“Still there?” Warrick asked.

“Ah,” she paused. “Yup. Consider me fair warned.”

“I asked if he wanted me to stay with him, but he said no.”

“And you listened?” Mandy asked, not angry, just curious, she’d thought they were better friends than that.

“No,” Warrick replied. “I’m sitting out front of his place in my car right now.”

“Good boy,” Mandy replied with a smile despite the horrible situation.

“I’ll drop you a text if he leaves his house, just in case he heads your way,” Warrick added.

“Thanks,” she replied before flipping the little phone closed. 

Horrible as it felt, she hoped that he wouldn’t come to her. What could she provide him? She’d never been good at comforting people, she was too blunt, and never knew what to say. They hadn’t even started dating yet. She didn’t think it was likely that he would seek her out. If he wanted to, that would be ok too. But she wouldn’t call him. He’d call her, or come over if he wanted to. He probably wouldn’t though. But Warrick knew him well, and he seemed to think that Nick might head her way. 

After the thoughts raced around her head for a while she decided to clean up just in case. The code project was returned to her office desk; There was no way she could focus on it anyway. Flicking through the channels at the speed of light she tried to distract herself from thinking of him trapped, afraid and alone, growing colder by the second. It was impossible to keep her mind occupied; The images found her on every channel and crept in: His eyes widened in horror, misty with tears as his fingers scratched at the surface of the drawer. The worst part was that her imagination didn’t need that much freedom to paint the pictures; She’d watched more of him trapped in that box underground than she would ever admit to him. The sad desperation in his eyes wasn’t something she needed to imagine at all.

All night she sat in front of the TV miming real life while staring beyond the TV. Once she eventually shut off the TV and went to bed, sleep was elusive and she tossed and turned all night, half expecting a text from Warrick any moment.

 

 

Nick was put on a week’s leave to recover from the incident. It was mandatory. But all he wanted to do was work. He craved distraction. He had several sessions scheduled with the department shrink. Also mandatory. What a joke. He hated talking to the guy. It was all: “how did you feel when that happened? What were you thinking when you were sure you would die?” How does anyone feel when faced with their death? He’d begun to give the answers he knew he needed to provide for a clear bill of health, but he’d stopped being honest.

After 2 days of going stir crazy sitting in his house he got dressed, waited until Warrick was long gone from the sentry post outside in his car, and went to the strip.

Sitting at a Blackjack table he felt as ease for the first time in days. The pattern of: hit, bust, stand kept his mind distracted while the cavernous game room made him feel like he could breath deep. The walls were so far from him that he couldn’t even sense where they were. Even his house had begun to feel cramped, let alone the bedroom, with it’s walls looming over him. He’d even turned off the air conditioner to avoid the reminder of that cold drawer, he’d opted to sweat through the days instead.

For hours he sat: hit, hit, stand, hit, bust, stand, hit, hit, hit, bust. On and on it went, round and round until the tension had eased from him completely and he was left feeling like he wanted to play Blackjack until the end of his days.

A waitress came along to take his order. He realized he hadn’t had anything to eat all day. 

“Whiskey,” he croaked out, his voice hoarse from disuse and stress. “Double,” he added.

The drink came quickly. He downed it immediately and set the glass back on her tray with a generous tip. He didn’t order anything else and savored the sweet burn down to his empty stomach before he returned to the beautiful chaos of Blackjack.

Players came and went throughout the night, but when Warrick sat down next to him, he knew immediately without looking over.

“Hey brother,” Warrick greeted as he leaned over the table.

Nick smiled, but didn’t make eye contact. “How long did it take you to find me?” 

“Six hours,” Warrick admitted solemnly. “Stakeout was that obvious huh?”

“When you’re staking me out in that shitbox you call a car,” Nick jeered, but it felt hollow.

“Oh is that how it is?” Warrick asked with humor in his voice.

Nick nodded and smiled. “That’s how it is brother.”

The dealer interrupted. “Warrick, you know the rules.”

“We’re gonna go get some food here shortly Pete,” Warrick replied.

“I’m not quite done yet,” Nick replied, motioning with his hand to hit on an eighteen.

“How long’s he been sitting here?” Warrick asked the dealer, ignoring Nick.

“Since I got on shift,” the dealer sighed. “I know it’s quiet but they’ll be on me if you don’t buy in soon.”

Warrick pulled a twenty from his pocket and laid it down. The dealer exchanged the bill for chips, and slid them toward Warrick.

“I’ll sit this one out Pete,” Warrick said, keeping his chips close to the rail.

“That’ll work,” the dealer said, continuing to pull cards from the shoe and gather up the used cards.

“Have you eaten anything?” Warrick asked Nick.

“Glass of whiskey,” Nick offered up as a joke with a feeble smile. Warrick didn’t laugh.

“Let’s go get some food,” Warrick urged again.

“There’s somethin’ about being out here,” Nick said, looking up toward the ceiling he couldn’t see, ignoring Warrick’s suggestion. “I don’t feel like it’s closin’ in on me.”

“I feel you,” Warrick said, following Nick’s gaze up.

“Alright,” Nick picked his chips up from the table and shuffled them in his hand.

Warrick stood up, and slid his chips across the table toward the dealer. “Keep it man.”

The daylight was too warm for Nick’s leather jacket, but he didn’t take it off. They found a greasy diner, not Frank’s; This diner was off the beaten path, in a neighborhood that was familiar but Nick couldn’t place why. The place was dead, one booth occupied. Warrick steered him away from the enclosed booths and to a table in the middle of the L-shaped restaurant. He ordered them both a large breakfast and coffees.

“You gotta talk to somebody Nick,” Warrick started, “and I don’t mean that doc they’ve got you seein’.”

Nick nodded, and looked down at the cup of coffee he held. It reminded him of the breakfast he’d shared with friends only a few days before and how he’d felt comfortable and happy.

“I was sure it was behind me,” Nick admitted. “But it all came back even before I got in the damn fridge.” The last came out biting and angry. “I can’t get into it man,” he dismissed the conversation before it really began, meeting Warrick’s eyes.

“If you’re not ready, that’s cool,” Warrick said as breakfast was laid out before them. “Even if you can’t talk to me, that’s cool too. But you gotta talk to somebody.”

The waitress brought out their orders. The steaming breakfast in front of Nick suddenly wakened his hunger, and he began to attack the eggs with enthusiasm. “Yeah, like who?” He asked, savoring the food that he hadn’t thought he wanted only minutes before.

“I don’t know,” Warrick picked at his plate, “there’s a girl lives near here you might be able to talk to.”

“Who’s that?” Before the words even left his mouth with a few crumbs of toast, he knew: The area seemed familiar because it was Mandy’s neighborhood. He shook his head and chased back the mouthful with some tarry coffee. “No.”

“Come on man,” Warrick’s cool broke for just a moment as he begged. “It’s like a block from here. You said it was going good.”

“That’s why I can’t go,” Nick replied. “We’re not even really dating and you want me to lay this on her? No.” He realized he hadn’t even thought about her in days. At the very beginning of his leave, he’d sat at home wondering if he should call her, but had ruled it out immediately. Was it a bad sign that he didn’t want to go to her?

“Just think about it,” Warrick replied.

Nick shook his head again, and changed the topic to the rest of the crew, and work, hoping to pick up a crumb of a case he could concentrate on. Warrick talked about the case he’d been on that morning, and gave him some anecdotes about Greg and Sara, nothing he could latch on to.

 

 

It was slow for the print lab, and Mandy wandered off to make some coffee. She passed the schedule in the break room, and saw that Nick’s name had been crossed out every day for a week with a black marker. Too bad, she thought: Sitting at home couldn’t be doing him any good. She’d tried to put herself in his shoes and had decided that sitting and staring at her TV had been hell when she was just thinking about what he’d gone through. Imagine actually going through it and being stuck sitting there with nothing to do.

Coffee in hand she returned to the hall and stopped, looking to the left and the elevators. It wouldn’t take long. They wouldn’t miss her. She was inside the elevator pressing the B1 button before she realized what she was doing.

The morgue was quiet. She’d never been there. No need for a print tech to look at bodies. The smell was antiseptic, and clean. Empty gurneys waited in the hallways.

Peeking through the window in the door before entering, she found there was no one around, and ducked inside. It took her longer to walk to the wall of fridges than it should have. Hesitantly she reached out and clicked open one of the drawers. Thankfully it was not occupied, and she opened the door wide. It was dark and cold inside, stainless steel on the bottom. She moved her head closer to the opening and realized just how small and confining the space would be.

“Not a great space to find yourself trapped,” Grissom said quietly from behind her.

Mandy jumped up, almost knocking her head against the door, and yelped. “Holy crap you scared the life out of me!” Her coffee stayed put in it’s sealed cup.

Grissom smiled and squinted his eyes the way he did when he was about to try to be humorous. “At least we wouldn’t have to move you too far.” Dad jokes, if your dad was a mortician.

“Ha ha,” Mandy retorted, attempting to slow her heart rate. “Thanks for sneaking up on me.”

“You’re welcome,” he returned. He set the file he was carrying down on the counter.

“I was just leaving,” she said, with a small navy-style salute.

“Bad luck just won’t let go of some people,” he added sadly, and walked over to close the door she had left open. She wasn’t sure if he was talking about Nick, or himself.

Her heart was still beating hard when she got back to the print lab, and she sat for a few minutes just staring at the empty screen. Her text alert pinged and startled her from her thoughts.

It was from Nick: What’s your schedule this week?

She stared at the message for a while, unsure how to answer. Should she ask if he was ok? Did she just give her schedule with no greeting? She finally settled on: Off Fri and Sat. Plans?

They traded texts back and forth and had settled on him coming to her house during the day Friday. Her sleep schedule would suffer, but he insisted that it be during the day.

 

Nick felt stupid. Impulsiveness didn’t always suit him, and he was taking a big gamble. He knocked on the door of Mandy’s small house at 1 PM on Friday.

Unlocking the deadbolt, she swung the door open with a sunny smile on her face. She looked tired, and he knew that she would rather be sleeping during the day. Dressed casually she looked ready for lounging in a pair of worn jeans and a tank top.

“I kinda bought you something,” he said vaguely, nervous.

She looked down at his empty hands. “No flowers?”

“Well…” He trailed off.

Twenty minutes later they were standing in her backyard, watching a truck dump enough dirt at the back of her yard to make a small garden bed.

“Um,” she was biting at her lip as she watched the cascade of earth. “Thanks?”

She had agreed to let them dump it, but now looked like she might change her mind: Too late for that.

“I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about what you said about wantin’ a garden,” he said. “Perfect spot over here. I can take care of it in a day or two.”

“You’ve got no yard of your own to defile, so you’re taking advantage of mine?” She smiled. “That’s pretty underhanded you know. Making me a flower garden.”

He smiled, and stood next to her watching the dirt fall.

“What if I wanted to plant cabbage?” She asked seriously.

He turned his gaze on her while she tilted her head and watched the dirt fall. Everything she said was a surprise to him. There was no predicting what would come out of her mouth. “You can do whatever you want with it,” he caught himself just before he added darlin’ to the end. “You want cabbage, you can have cabbage.”

“That’s real sweet,” she replied, “but flowers will do. As long as you come over and water them whenever that needs to happen. I’m not a domestic, watering flowers sort of girl.”

The rest of the day was hard labor. Measuring and setting out the garden area. Cutting the wood and building up the garden box. She helped, when he let her, but he wanted to do it himself; The work kept his mind from what was really bothering him, and let him take out some aggression with every swing of the hammer. She’d bring him a cold beer, or a water once in a while, and make some small talk, but generally left him to himself, which he appreciated.

She ordered dinner for them, and they watched the game while they ate. Conversation was focused on sports, and the impulsive redesign of her yard.

The second day he showed up early, nervous that when he knocked she would still be in bed, but she greeted him with coffee, and followed him into the yard.

“It looks too small for the all that dirt,” she noted, her eyes darting from the flower box to the heap of earth and back.

“Once you get it in there, it’ll settle,” he reassured.

“Let’s get to it then,” she said.

“I can handle it,” he shrugged off her offer, as he set aside his coffee and grabbed one of the shovels.”

She grabbed the second one. “I figured you could,” she said, “but it’s my yard and I want to help.”

He smiled, nervous. The previous day he’d spent at her house he’d been able to almost completely avoid her. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be around her, but he was afraid of what might come out. He wanted to get back to a normal life, but he didn’t know how.

The first shovelful of dirt was a strange sensation. Filling the box with earth made him wonder what the man who buried him must have felt like: Filling in, shovel by shovel, the earth that would cover the small box that had held him. Condemning a man to die. He was quiet and forgot she was there as he lifted the small scoops of dirt one after the other.

After shoveling for fifteen minutes, Mandy gave up and sat down in the dirt. “Ok, I helped,” she stated.

Nick came out of his trance and surprised himself by laughing before he continued to work.

“And I have no problem whatsoever kicking back and watching Nick Stokes shovel dirt in my backyard,” she said, sitting back. She kicked back a little too far, and her left hand sank into the pile of soft dirt causing a cascade of earth over her.

“Woah,” Nick dropped his shovel and pulled her easily from the pile, her clothing smeared with the soft earth. “Be careful with that kickin’ back. It’ll get ya.” As he pulled her up he realized it was the first time that he’d really held her. She was close to him, her hand resting on his bare arm. Then the earthy smell on her skin hit him like a grenade blast sending him backward in time to a small space full of stale air, and ants, as earth leaked in. He stiffened in her grip and by the look on her face he knew she had seen him go back there. He let her go gently before turning away from her and returning to work.

It was a small garden, and it wasn’t long before he’d filled it in. The time for avoiding any conversation was nearing an end, and he could feel her sitting in the grass near by. Kneeling next to the box, he began to settle the earth with his fingers, pushing the loose surface to the edges. It reminded him of playing in the mud as a kid. It felt like youth and carefree summer days.

“It just won’t go away,” he choked out, hating the emotions that always came so quickly to his surface. His father would chide him for showing such weakness.

She was silent, and he didn’t (wouldn’t) look at her, afraid he would lose the courage to say anything. “I didn’t think I’d ever see the sun again. Just that god awful green light. I’ve never been more scared in my life, and I can’t seem to forget it.” The flower bed under his fingers was still loose and soft and he wondered that something so innocent as fresh dirt could press down on someone like crushing concrete. “When he came into the morgue, and told me to climb into the drawer I almost let him shoot me instead.” He heard the smallest gasp as she let in a quick breath behind him, and that sound sent his jaw shaking. He almost lost it just then. “The worst part is that I was so ashamed that I was afraid.”

He felt her hand on his shoulder.

“I went down to the morgue,” she admitted. “I opened the door and looked inside.”

He looked up at her expecting pity, but there wasn’t any. It was something like knowing instead: Understanding. She knelt next to him, and wrapped her arms gently around his shoulders. His arms slipped easily around her middle and he sunk into her comfort. She smelled like sweat and dirt and that earthy smell suddenly didn’t seem so bad. There was something calming in her lack of pity, and he felt at ease.

“Jeeze, this home improvement stuff is hard work,” she joked softly as they reluctantly pulled apart. “I think I need to change.” Her previously grey sweat pants and white t-shirt were completely brown from her tumble.

Nick dusted his hands off, and looked down at himself, covered in dirt and soaked with sweat from the work. “Do you think I could take a shower?”

She nodded, and he followed her inside.

 

 

Mandy showed Nick to the bathroom and went to change. The backyard work done, she picked out a comfy pair of jeans to wear instead of sweats. No doubt they would be watching sports again, and ordering take out, it seemed to have quickly become the default; Best to be comfortable. She had just peeled off the dirty t-shirt and shoved it into the hamper when a soft knock came to her bedroom door.

“Oh crap! Sorry! Towels are in the closet in the hall!” She called out over her shoulder.

The door clicked open and creaked behind her. “I found ‘em,” Nick’s voice was soft.

She turned and found him standing in the doorway, door handle still in his hand, as though he was waiting to be kicked out. His eyes held hers, not looking at her body, waiting for permission.

“Hell,” she said with a smile after a moment’s hesitation, “I’m already dirty.”

Nick’s face widened with a smile that was still tinged with his sadness. He opened the door wide, and walked slowly to her, still locking eyes with her. 

The first touch of his fingers was so timid she thought he was afraid he would break her. It was a strange intimacy, to touch someone with lust before even having kissed them. Her fingers trailed up the sinewy muscle of his forearms, and continued their way to his shoulders. He moved his hands around her waist and up her back, causing jolts through her nervous system as he tickled her back, finding the valley of her spine and chasing it to her shoulders. Nearly the same height they didn’t have far to go for a kiss, but they both lingered a breath away, savoring the anticipation that had been building between them since they’d started down this road. When they finally kissed it wasn’t what she had imagined; The earthy taste got in the way, but she didn’t care. 

With soft and experienced hands he slid his fingers down the back of her waistband and slipped the sweatpants down, breaking their kiss and following them to the floor. He didn’t kiss her body on the way down, but misted her with his breath, breathing her in, closing his eyes. She took a few steps back to free her feet of her pants, and he looked up at her from where he crouched on the floor. There was vulnerability there, and she wondered for only a moment if she was taking advantage of his pain.

Intending to watch sports and eat take out, she hadn’t taken the time to pay attention to her underwear that morning: A mismatched nude bra with nearly worn out red cotton undies; Not at her most sexy ever. 

“I’m not really a sexy underwear kinda girl,” she blurted out. “And I wasn’t really prepared for this.”

He stood up and took the few steps back to her, his smile crinkling the lines around his mouth and eyes. His hands slid around her middle, making for the clasps of her bra.

She stepped back suddenly, and he looked concerned, worried he had gone too far.

“This isn’t really fair,” she said. “I’m pretty much naked here and you’re still fully clothed.”

“You did get started without me,” he replied with a raised eyebrow, as he pulled the shirt off over his head.

“Touche,” she breathed out as she looked his torso up and down. She moved closer and tried to put on her best pouty sultry look, she knew she had the lips for it. 

Undoing a belt from the wrong side is more difficult than it looks, and though she tackled the task with enthusiasm, he finished it for her. His jeans fell to the floor before he resumed his attention on the clasps of her bra. Once they were unhooked, he gripped her neck lightly and pulled her in for a kiss that was slow and warm. She could have gotten lost in that kiss, but his hands drew her attention down, as he slid the last of her clothes from her body.

While she lay back on the bed, he lost the rest of his clothing, and crawled up toward her from the foot of the bed, slipping his shoulders between her knees, which were reluctant to slide apart.

“We don’t have to if you don’t-”

“No I definitely want to,” she cut him off. “It’s just been a while.”

“I’ll do all the steerin’,” he tried to reassure her. It didn’t one hundred percent reassure her, because it felt like something a player would say. But she bit back her hang-ups, this was something she wanted or she wouldn’t have invited him into her room. 

He wouldn’t force her legs to part, but waited patiently for her to relax, his hands caressing her skin. Finally he settled between her thighs, and breathed out a soft sigh against her. She tensed wanting him to touch her so badly, and when he finally did she let out a sigh that turned into a small squeak of surprised pleasure.

“You can keep doing that forever if you want,” she breathed out, partially as a groan.

Nick lifted his head and laughed, resting chin on her thigh. “I thought I might have found something that would make you speechless,” he joked.

“Not gonna happen dude,” she replied. Propped up on her elbows she narrowed her eyes. “Now, I’m pretty sure I said you could keep doing that forever.”

With a smirk he dutifully returned to the task at hand. With each touch, lick, and hot breath he brought another level of sensation she didn’t know had been there all along.

“When I said forever,” she gasped out four minutes later. “I didn’t… You should… I can’t…” These pleas only gave him more incentive and in no time at all her body tensed, shot through with feeling that burned from her toes to her fingertips.

Crawling over her sweating body, he rested on top of her, strong arms holding him just above her, their bodies meeting here and there while she heaved with breath. His eyes met hers as her body relaxed again, sinking into the mattress. There was contentment on his face, but no wide grin. The serious look burned into her; Perhaps he had found the thing to make her speechless. He brushed a stray hair out of her face and just looked into her eyes. Just looking at him was intoxicating, and she slid her hands up the back of his neck and into his sweaty hair, pulling him down to kiss her. It was a sweet kiss; Almost innocent despite the circumstances.

He moved closer to her, putting the smallest pressure on her body, as he settled between her legs. She sighed, frustrated, and dropped her head back into the pillows.

“What’s up?” He asked, concern in his voice, but he didn’t back away.

“Hold on,” she rolled around underneath him and the juxtaposition of the sticky cotton sheets and his sweating body was arousing torment. Reaching for the drawer of her bedside table that was just inches from her fingertips she thrust her hip upward for more leverage. With Nick still between her legs, she was pressed hard against him as she finally reached the drawer, and pulled out a safety measure. At the same time she removed her glasses and left them behind.

Nick didn’t even notice what she was doing, obviously distracted by her movements underneath him. A restrained noise rattled from his throat, a raw, animal sound. “Girl you can’t just…” he trailed away and lightly licked at her exposed side, causing her to yelp and roll onto her back. Their faces were close again, and he kissed her lightly, but she broke away before they could get any closer. Cursing herself for her lack of subtlety and tact, she held the foil wrapper up between them. Taking it from her, he kissed her again, and backed off to obey her silent request.

Without him looming directly on top of her, her body began to cool, and the soft breeze in the room made her skin tingle all over, making each tiny hair on her body rise. Starting at her kneecaps, he ran his deft hands across her skin, banishing the tingling cool and replacing it with the heat emanating from his fingers. He traced his hands up her body, touching every part until they were face to face again. 

Tangled together, he wrapped his arms under her and held her close, trapping the sweat and heat between them. She hadn’t had sex for a year or so, and was surprised at how easily they fit together. It was less effort than she remembered to meet each other’s rhythm and find the right spot and angle to get it just right. They moved slowly and built up a heat she didn’t think she could stand.

“I think I’m going to explode,” she gasped out into his neck, before throwing her head back into the pillows.

He held her tighter still, his mouth near her ear. “Let go. I got you,” he panted with his soft accent.

The sensation of his breath on her ear sent a shiver down her spine that met the heat between them and sent a cascade off inside her. She arched hard against him, feeling sure that her muscles had clenched so tight they would crush her bones, or at the very least push him off of her. But he held tightly to her, his body matching the shape she made, and returning pleasurable sounds at the feel of her body tensed all around him.

 

 

Mandy lay on his arm, and he watched as she gasped to get the air back into her lungs. It was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. It must have been the anticipation that made it so intense. Her breasts heaved, and she chewed at her wonderful, full lips as her body came down from the natural high.

“That’s the kind of sex you want a cigarette after,” she said.

“You smoke?” He asked, surprised. He’d never smelled it on her.

“No,” she said, as though it were a dumb question. “It just seems like the kind of sex that warrants a cigarette. I hurt all over.”

“Hurt?” He asked, unsure how to feel about that. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. They’d moved slow so he could make sure it would be good for her. The idea that he’d hurt her was off-putting.

“Yeah, like I’ve just run a marathon,” she finally tore her eyes away from the ceiling and smiled at him. “Every muscle in my body is sore. You might have to bring me dinner in bed. Who knows if I can even walk.”

The unease in his chest loosened, and he relaxed back into the soft bed, wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, causing her to squeal in surprise. It was a noise he liked. It reminded him of the noises she made when he went down on her. Her pleasure had eased little noises from her: Small staccato squeaks. They were adorable.

Earthen smells lingered all over the room mixed with the smell of their sweat; He’d tasted it on her with every kiss and lick. There was even a smear of dirt across her cheek. The smell meant something different to him now, it was tied here to this memory, and he relished in the fact that something had returned to normal in his life. All he could hope for was that this memory was the one that stuck, and not the dark imprisonment he’d suffered. He didn’t see that being a problem.

“Why did you build me a garden?” She rolled onto her side to look up at him.

And just like that they were talking like normal again. Not as though nothing had happened, but their relationship wasn’t fractured by it either into something awkward and full of expectations.

“I needed to do somethin’,” he admitted. “They wouldn’t let me back at the lab. Time off was mandatory. I went out and played Blackjack for 12 hours the other night. Wasn’t angry, or worried. Just wasn’t thinkin’.” Many of the girls he’d dated in the past would have already asked him if he had thought about them at all over the past few days. They would have drawn the conversation back to themselves.

“How much did you lose?” She asked, smiling.

“About five hundred bucks,” he replied.

Mandy whistled and rolled to her back again, looking up at the ceiling. The sweat was starting to dry up on her body, but her chest still glistened in the daylight that filtered in through the curtained window. He was entertaining the thought of putting his mouth to her body again and tasting the salty surface, when she interrupted his thoughts.

“You know we still haven’t even had a first date.”

“We had dinner the first day I asked you out,” Nick suggested.

“You mean takeout in the break room?” She asked. “Are you trying to make me feel better about being easy?”

Maybe her lack of tact was contagious, because he almost blurted out: nothing about you is easy, Mandy. He stopped himself just in time.

“I’m just saying, we should have a real date,” she said.

Nick was a romantic, but laying next to a naked woman he was attracted to was seriously distracting, and his mind continued to wander down, along with most of the blood in his body.

“Why don’t we go out tonight?” She asked.

“Sure,” he agreed easily.

“You’re pretty quiet,” she noted aloud, narrowing her eyes at him skeptically.

“I’m finding you really distractin’,” he said. He lifted his free hand to her soft cheek, and softly rubbed at the dirt smudge until it was gone. That done, he trailed his fingers down her skin, still warm, first to the hot sweaty area at the nape of her neck, then across her collarbone. With one finger he traced a line between her breasts, and then splayed a hand across her stomach.

“Well, I need a shower,” she rolled away from him and bounced across the room toward the hall. The hair tied at the back of her head had come loose and strands stuck to her shoulders and neck. With each step she took he watched her leg muscles tense and release, her back muscles twisting and moving. It was startlingly attractive. He’d never watched a woman move in front of him nude without trying to be sexy.

As she reached the door she turned and leaned dramatically against the door frame. “I think I got up too fast,” she laughed. “I feel a bit light headed, and I can barely walk my legs are so sore.”

Nick jumped out of bed, and took her into his arms, keeping her steady and holding her up. “I can help you with that ma’am,” he smiled and brushed her hair back from her eyes. She leaned heavily against him and put her arms around his waist.

“That’s so kind of you,” she replied sarcastically.

“I can help you back to bed if you want,” he raised an eyebrow.

“I know that’s what you want,” she said. She kissed him briefly and was out of his arms before he’d even opened his eyes again. This girl was going to drive him crazy, he could tell already.


	4. That's Not How Forever Works

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A real first date and a buncha sex.

The Seahawks game had just started when she turned the TV on. They reclined on the couch together, feet up on the coffee table, sipping beers and watching the game progress. They chatted about the score, joked and taunted back and forth, Mandy stringently defending her team.

Half time came around, and she turned to Nick. “So, are we going to go out tonight?”

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Have a real date,” she said. “Plus I need to get back on my night’s schedule. We should stay up all night so I can sleep tomorrow.”

“I can definitely keep you awake all night,” Nick smiled cockily.

“I don’t want our whole relationship to be about sex,” Mandy said sternly.

“Ok ok,” he put his hands up as though she were the police. “Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I never go out.”

“I’ll surprise you.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about being surprised.”

Feeling the couch shift under her she turned just in time to see his face close to hers before he kissed her lightly, his hand on her cheek. He tasted like beer. Probably she did too. Encouraged by her body, she put her hands around his neck and up into his hair and started to lean back to lay on the couch, pulling him down with her. He didn’t resist.

They were in the standard position of two horny teenagers when she heard the commercial break end. Turning her head to the side, she broke their kiss, but it didn’t slow the excited Texan from continuing his attentions on her neck, and pressing against her thighs in a very distracting way.

“Hey, this is serious business,” she said indicating the TV, though it came out more a moan from the attention he was paying her.

“I agree,” he said, “you just keep watchin’ and I’ll keep myself occupied.”

She turned her head back to look at him again. “I was serious about the sex thing,” she said. There was apology in her tone, not because she was sorry that she wanted their relationship to move more slowly, but she knew that it wasn’t fair for a guy to get riled up and then stop.

“You want me to stop,” he concluded as he propped himself up on his elbows, difficult in the squishy couch, and he was still pressed tight against her.

She nodded, while her body told her that she was being a stupid idiot. They were adults, they both wanted to get it on, they’d known each other a long time so it wasn’t a one-night stand situation. Then the fear crept in. The fear that he wanted to use her up for his pleasure and then that would be it. Now that she was here, starting this relationship, she wanted it to have more hope than that. He’d always had a reputation as a ladies man, but had never had a serious relationship as long as she’d known him.

He landed one more peck on her lips, and sat back up on the couch. “You want another beer?” He asked, as he gathered the empties from the coffee table and went to the kitchen. The disappointment in his voice was evident.

“Yes please,” she answered, still laying on the couch, frozen in place.

 

 

Nick hadn’t been wrong: This girl was going to drive him crazy in more ways than one. Frustrated, he went to the kitchen to fetch more beers, and took his time. It wasn’t her fault, she’d warned him that she wanted to move more slowly than this, and yet he had persisted. But there was something about sitting next to her; Now that he knew what she felt like, how she tasted, he just wanted to carry her to the bedroom and spend the day there, exploring her body. Thinking like that was only making things worse, and he leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed and watched her sit up on the couch, her back to him, her hair a tangled mess. Perhaps it was the easy girls he dated in the past, but he wasn’t sure how to proceed. What was too soon to make the next move? Was he supposed to let her come to him? She was bold enough, would she just let him know when she was ready?

Once his body had settled and his pulse had slowed, he grabbed the beer from the fridge and returned to the couch, putting a respectful distance between them. He resolved to let her decide when it was time. He was too much of a gentleman to push her, he didn’t want it to happen that way.

The silence between them was full of unsaid things, strange for her, so he decided to break the quiet and hopefully the tension.

“I’m gonna go,” he started, and then realized that it was the worst way to start what he was going to say, and added quicky: “I’m gonna go change and get cleaned up for our date.”

“Where are we going?” She asked again, turning toward him and crossing her legs on the couch underneath her.

“I told you,” he smiled, trying to lighten the mood, “it’s a surprise.”

She looked suspicious, and continued to question him. “What should I wear?”

“Casual, but nice,” he said.

“Don’t I always look nice?”

“Now that is a dirty trick question,” he said.

“But I assume you know the right answer?”

“Four sisters, you think I don’t know the answer?”

“So?” She was biting her cheek the way she did when she was trying to keep her mouth shut. It made her lips pucker in the cutest way.

“Nice?” He started, and put on his most charming voice, focusing his gaze seriously on her eyes. “You have never looked less than positively beautiful Mandy.”

She began to wave at her face as though she were holding a fan. “Well Mr. Stokes, I do declare,” she affected a terrible southern accent.

“Pick you up at eight?” He asked, pushing himself up off the couch.

“Perfect,” she said. “Now go on and let me finish my game without further interruption.”

Years of engrained southern manners caused him to pick up his beer and return it, unopened, to the fridge before leaving. “Eight o’clock,” he reminded her on his way out the door.

“Yeah yeah,” she waved him to go, eyes for the TV.

“And lock the damn door after I leave,” he said before closing it behind him.

His own house felt too empty, too quiet, even once he’d turned the TV on for some background noise. Shortly after he got home, before he could do more than check the mail and grab a quick snack out of the fridge there was a knock at his door. Unlike Mandy, he checked the window quick before he opened the door to Warrick.

“Hey man,” Warrick leaned casually in the doorway, but he was obviously glad to see Nick. “Where you been?”

“Still stalking me?” Nick asked, walking away from the door and motioning for Warrick to follow.

“Something like that,” Warrick confirmed, closing the door behind him. “I texted you today, but you didn’t get back to me.”

Nick tapped his pockets, looking for the phone. “Shit, I must have left it…” He trailed off. They hadn’t discussed whether or not they were going to talk about their relationship with anyone at the lab, but Warrick was different, he already knew what was going on and he would be discreet.

“Left it where?” Warrick asked, concerned.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he waved away the concern. “I must have left is at Mandy’s.”

“Mandy’s?” Warrick’s tone changed immediately. “Did you close the deal?”

Nick didn’t need to say a word before Warrick offered him a fist to bump.

“That was an easy nut to crack,” Warrick mused, “easier than I thought it would be.”

“It’s more complicated than that,” Nick replied.

“Trouble in paradise already?” Warrick asked.

“Speaking of trouble in paradise,” Nick changed the subject, “you’ve sure been spending a lot of time away from home for a newlywed. Honeymoon over already?”

“Naw,” Warrick said, “she understands. I’m worried about my boy.”

“Well you don’t need to worry about me,” Nick said. “Now you gotta get out. We’re going on a date tonight and I still don’t even know where I’m going to take her.”

“Take her to that new club at the-”

“I’m not sure about the club,” Nick started. Dancing was such a sexy place to take a girl. Yeah, if you wanted to get laid you went dancing; All that close contact, sweating and moving with the music. It was the place you took a girl when you were trying to get them worked up. After their conversation earlier he didn’t want to try to trick her back into bed.

“Something more romantic,” Warrick concluded. “Alright, there’s this new joint on Freemont. I can make a call for you.”

When Nick arrived at her house at eight sharp he was wearing his leather jacket against the chilly night, his nice pair of dark jeans and an un-tucked dress shirt; He’d looked for the least obnoxious pattern he could find in his closet, and he still probably wouldn’t hear the end of it. There was a sense of excitement that they were finally going to have a date, but he wasn’t exactly nervous. 

He knocked on the door and ran a hand back through his hair while he waited.

The door opened, and she stood in the doorway, flushed in a pair of black jeans and a bra. “I’m almost done.” She jogged back down the hall and slid around the corner toward her bedroom.

Trying to avoid prying eyes he closed the door quickly behind him as he entered. She hadn’t even checked to make sure it was him before she’d flung the door wide open.

“You don’t want me to think you’re easy,” he joked, “but you answer your door half-naked?”

“You’ve already seen me naked,” she reminded him from the other room.

“You didn’t even check to make sure it was me.”

“I didn’t have to, I could hear your shirt from in here,” she quipped absently.

“Hey!” He played mock hurt as he wandered into the living room and joked: “this is my favorite shirt.” There was a scattering of papers and photos strewn across the coffee table. They didn’t look like much, and he was about to take a closer look when she came out of her room.

“Tada,” she said dramatically, posing like she was a magician’s assistant. Dressed simply, but effectively, he did a double take and forgot about the documents on the table. Tight black jeans hugged her body. The dark purple tank top she wore was spilling her breasts out of the low cut neckline. She’d covered it up with a suit jacket that hugged her waist and emphasized her hips.

“You look great,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound surprised.

“I know,” she smiled, tossing her hair around dramatically. Watching her hair flow around her face he wanted to run his fingers through it.

Their first stop was late dinner to the place Warrick had recommended. Warrick’s call was the only thing that got them a table with such late notice. The food was ridiculous and fancy: strange ingredients and portions. But the food didn’t matter. What mattered was the way they leaned close over their plates and talked like they’d never missed a beat in their friendship. It wasn’t that they were reverting, there were flirtations added, but their core compatibility was still intact. The incident earlier in the day hadn’t soured anything, and he was grateful. They sat for hours, much to the obvious chagrin of the serving staff.

“Are you sure you can afford such a fancy place after losing all that money at Blackjack the other day?” She asked with a quirk in her smile.

“Anything for you baby,” he smiled.

“You know I’ve never played Blackjack at an actual card table,” she said, propping her chin on her palm, while they waited for dessert.

“How is that possible?” He asked. “I didn’t think I still knew somebody who’d never played Blackjack.”

“I’ve played the game before,” she defended herself, “but, like, with friends in college, never at a real card table.”

“Alright, I know what we’re doing tonight,” he said.

Their dessert was just as strange as the dinner, and they ignored it while it melted as Nick taught Mandy all of the table etiquette to play in a casino.

They walked through the casino doors and the cavernous roof opened up above them. It felt like a breath of fresh air to Nick. Just that feeling of space was so soothing to him now that he felt immediately at ease. The crowds were still thick because it was Saturday night, and he put his hand gently on the small of her back as they pressed through the people together. It was an intimacy that was innocent but so arousing that he thought he might have to remove his hand. The light silken material of her shirt was barely any barrier between their skin and with each step she took her felt her body shift under his fingers.

“You ok?” She asked when they emerged from the crush and out into the gaming tables. “You look a little flush.”

“Fine,” he played off his excitement and removed his hand from her back.

“Ooo, what about that one?” She pointed to a table.

“That’s poker,” he guided her toward the lower limit Blackjack tables.

“Think I should pull my top down a little,” she joked, shimmying her shoulders to cause her breasts to bounce. “Distract the dealer?”

Nick smiled. “It’s more of a chance game than anything,” he said, “distracting him isn’t gonna do you any good. Except make me lose more money maybe.” He snuck her a wink.

“That’s alright, there’s not much more room for this top to come down,” she said, looking down at her own cleavage. “I’d basically be letting them right out of there.”

Before he could slip out a twenty for her, she’d dipped into her pocket and dropped her own bill onto the table. They changed their money and began playing. Beginners luck hit her hard, and when they left the table a few hours later she was up sixty bucks.

“Let’s go do something fun with my winnings,” she suggested. “What can we do?”

“Well, it’s four am in Las Vegas,” he said checking his watch. “So we can do pretty much whatever you want.”

“I’m open to suggestions,” she said.

“You know you can’t get much for sixty bucks,” he said. “Cheap lap dance?”

“You know, I’ve never had a lap dance,” she pondered.

Nick laughed. “Trust me, that’s not the first lap dance you want.” They walked together back to the parking garage. “I’ve got an idea,” he said, “and it won’t cost you anything.”

“I’m in your capable hands,” she said, taking his hand while they walked back to the car.

The drive was about 35 minutes, and as the lights of the city faded behind them she seemed to get a bit nervous. “You got me all dressed up nice to take me out in the bush?”

“It’s worth it,” he said.

The dirt road led out to a viewpoint that was a trailhead for hikers, but it was deserted at night.

“I come out here at night sometimes on my days off,” he said. He didn’t tell her that he’d found the spot when he’d been called out on a case.

“Why?” She asked, kicking at the dust as she climbed out of the car. “You can’t see anything at night.” She indicated the black view just beyond the edge of the cliff.

“Is that right?” He asked as he got the blankets he kept in the hatch and threw them over the roof of the SUV. Taking her hand, he helped her crawl up the warm hood, and onto the roof, then joined her. The night was cool, and he was glad he’d taken to keeping the blankets in the truck. They lay on top of one for cushioning and under the other for warmth. He left the truck running, and the radio on low. The stars exploded above them this far from the city lights. There was almost more light in the sky than dark on such a clear night.

“Ok, I’ll admit, this is probably better than whatever sixty bucks would have got me,” she said, staring up at sky.

“I find the city so loud sometimes,” he said. “I like the quiet.”

“I bet you bring all the girls out here,” she fished.

He shook his head, searched under the blankets, found her hand and intertwined their fingers.

She slithered closer to him, putting their heads together, untangled their hands and pointed up overhead. “See there? That’s Taurus,” she pointed.

He didn’t see it. He’d never been able to see the constellations.

“See it?” She asked again.

“No,” he admitted, sneaking a look at her. She was concentrating and puckering her lips the way she did in the lab sometimes when she was working on something really difficult.

She inched closer, and tried to point up from as close to him as she could so he could follow. “What about Leo?” She asked again. “Kinda looks like a duck. I always thought it looked like a duck.”

He gave it an honest try, but admitted again that he couldn’t see it and then took to looking at her again. He’d seen the stars a million times, they didn’t change, but he couldn’t watch her like this just any time. So he picked his priority.

“Ok,” she said, “I’ll give you an easy one. Ursa Major, the Big Dipper. Right there.” Her hand shifted. He followed her arm up, watching as her skin began to erupt in goosebumps from the chill in the air.

“I think I can find that one,” he said with a smile.

Satisfied she tucked her hand back under the blanket and into his. 

“Big into astronomy?” He asked.

“I just like patterns,” she admitted. “Always have. It’s the one thing I’ve always been good at.”

He bit his tongue before he flirtatiously commented on her talent for affecting him.

“That’s why I’m in the print lab, you know?” She said. “I like finding the pattern, matching them up.”

“You’re good at it,” he complimented her.

She blushed, but stayed quiet, no joke or quip in reply. 

They watched the stars, and made wishes on falling ones, until she’d begun to shiver even under the blanket and he drove her home.

Standard first date stuff, he walked her to the front door.

“This was almost perfect,” she said.

“Almost?” He asked, before he leaned in for a sweet first-date type kiss, his hand lightly resting on her hip. “Still almost?” He asked once he’d pulled back.

“Yup,” she replied before turning to go inside. “You should come in for a coffee before you leave,” she suggested.

“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” he said, worried that he would be tempted to take things too far and ruin the mood again. “I’m gonna head out.”

“Ok,” she conceded easily. “I’m just going to leave my door unlocked and open a crack in case you change your mind.” And then she did just that.

He shook his head and smiled at her brazenness, but he couldn’t just leave her door like that. He wouldn’t have been surprised to find out that she’d never closed it once he’d left. Slipping into the house, he closed and locked the door.

“Listen Mandy,” he started when he came out of the hall, “I don’t want to do somethin’ you aren’t-”

“Would you just shut up already and come kiss me,” she said boldly, standing in the hall to her bedroom, her jacket thrown onto the couch.

Stunned and unsure what was happening he stood with his mouth open, probably looking a bit dumb.

“See, you touched my back tonight while we were walking into that casino and all I could think about was sex,” she said plainly. “So I’ve come to the conclusion that not having sex is more distracting than having sex. Now can we just get it on already?”

There was no need for a second invitation; Nick’s jacket hit the floor before she was done talking and he wrapped himself around her, finding her wonderful pouty mouth with his own. She tasted like cold night air, and the whiskey she’d had at the casino. They pushed and tugged at each other’s clothing and he felt her rip a button from his shirt in her hastiness, before she let it fall off his shoulders.

Pushed up against the wall on their way to the bedroom, she wrapped a leg around his hip, and he reached under her round bottom and lifted her up to sit just where he wanted her as he pushed his hips against her to keep her pinned to the wall. It elicited the sweetest squeak from her throat as she broke their kiss, and he breathed out heavily against her neck trying to slow his breath and calm himself a little; It wouldn’t do to get things over with too quickly. Her fingers clawed at his hair when he bent his head to taste her chest as it surged up toward him with the heaving of her breath. To his surprise he felt more urgency this time, his body unable to wait for the sensations he craved as he leaned into the wall, feeling like it was going to give way any moment under the pressure. Pulling her down the hallway toward the bedroom door, they finally tumbled through it, and he caught her in his arms before she fell. A squeal of surprise broke the pleasurable sounds she’d been making. She quickly returned to her feet and pulled the shirt over her head. 

While she undressed he took the time to dig into her nightstand for a condom, cracked it open, and left it on the tabletop ready to go. When he looked up she was turned toward the bed, bent over to slide her jeans and underwear down, her backside bared to him. Her body jiggled as she attempted to free her feet from the tight pants. He felt like a crate of fireworks had been set off in his ribcage as he watched her. Juvenile excitement sparked and surged, making him feel too hot and more than a little nervous.

Unable to hold back he walked up behind her and ran his hands over her soft skin. “Oh my god girl,” he said gruffly as he turned her almost roughly toward him. He ran his hands through her hair the way he’d imagined all night, and pulled her back to him; Mouths on mouths, hands feeling and teasing. He took his hands back to remove the rest of his clothing, but kept kissing her. She whined into his mouth in protest, and the sound vibrated through his body to the core. She pulled away and removed her bra while she waited for him to finish, tossing her glasses toward the nightstand and missing. Then she pushed him hard onto the bed and followed on her knees, forcing him to lay back when all he wanted was to surround her with his body and make her call out his name. She crawled on top of him, and the sight caused such anticipation in him that he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to last. He hastily grabbed the condom from the table and put it to use.

Neither of them needed any more foreplay and as she settled on top of him, knees on either side of him, the buzzing feeling in his chest moved lower, urging him to raise his hips to meet her rhythm. The gasps he elicited from her with the smallest movement, sent tingles across his skin. Gently placing his hands on her hips he coaxed her further downward until their bodies met harder.

Suddenly she seemed to realize that he had taken hold of her and slapped his hands away. “No… touching,” she huffed out.

Pulling his hands back, he was unsure what to do with himself. All he wanted to do was feel her skin, run his hands over her stomach, around her thighs, but each time he reached out for her she shook her head. Finally he couldn’t hold himself back, and grabbed her hips again, rocking her against him, making her squeal. Before he knew what had happened she grabbed his wrists, leaned forward over him and held his hands above his head down against the bed. It wouldn’t have taken much strength to push her upward, but he let her have her fun and watched the sweat cut paths down her face. She kissed him hard. Planting his feet behind her offered them a new sensation and an animal sound rose up in her throat, traveling deep down into his chest. Unable to contain the noise, she pulled her mouth from his, her throat bared to him, and let out another of her moans that became a small squeak of pleasure at the end.

“Oh god, Mandy,” it was strangled from him like an appeal. He needed to touch her. He felt like a taut bowstring, the tension building in every muscle like a force of nature and he wondered if she would ever let him loose it, or if he would lose his mind and do it on his own first.

The sound of her name seemed to push her over the edge, and suddenly she let go of his wrists and was upright again, arching backward, hair stuck to her body. He caught her body with his knees, urging her back toward him and catching her in his arms as she collapsed onto his chest, still shaking under his hands.

Once she’d finished shuddering he rolled her onto her back and positioned himself over her, wiping the hair back from her face and neck. He kissed her neck softly, nibbling a little as he went until he reached her beautiful mouth again. The kiss started soft but soon became more intense until she wrapped her legs around him and pressed herself against him.

His arms wrapped under her back and gripped her shoulders tightly and he let himself go. Her squirming body moved in time with his own, and the noises she made led him quickly to the motions she loved most. The small sounds she let out started to come in quicker succession and he buried his face in her wonderful long neck, sucking in the smell of her.

“Never… stop…” she rasped, her hands on his back and in his hair, pulling him closer to her body.

He felt her body begin to tighten up again underneath him. “Nick,” she exhaled his name with the rest of the air in her body as she pushed off the mattress against him. Hearing his name from her lips in the middle of her ecstasy pushed him over the brink and he pulled her hard against him, not ever wanting to let her go.

Finished, he lay on top of her, each of them spilling wet breaths against each other.

“I don’t know if I can even move,” he choked out into her neck.

“Please… don’t,” she panted. “Let’s stay… like this forever.”

The warm sweat-sticky body under him was hot, and roused his excitement again, but before it became too obvious he rolled onto his back beside her and pulled her tight against his side.

“You really don’t understand what the word forever means,” she joked sleepily, throwing an arm across his chest.

“Just a pretty face I guess,” he agreed with her.

“So much more than that,” she said, obviously starting to fall asleep, “you’ve got a slammin’ body too.”

Nick couldn’t help but laugh, and pulled her closer, planting a soft kiss on her forehead and brushing the hair back from her face as she drifted off to sleep.

 

 

Mandy woke in the late afternoon and found herself alone, the blankets of her bed tucked snugly around her body. Rolling over she felt the sweet twang of aching muscles twitch all across her body. There was a muscle in her lower back she didn’t ever recall feeling before.

The sound of the shower pitter-pattering its irregular pressure drifted toward her. A hot shower was just what she needed. The clock read 4:37 PM, giving her lots of time before her shift started at 11:00.

Disentangling herself from the blankets she threw on an old baggy t-shirt and some underwear and steered her weary body to the kitchen to make coffee.

The water in the bathroom stopped, and she heard Nick come into the living room, squeaking the floorboard by the couch on his way.

“You ruined my shirt,” he informed her, sounding disappointed.

“Trust me, it’s for the best,” she retorted, as she put an extra scoop into the coffee maker and started it. The heady scent puffed up from the slowly dripping substance, perking her up immediately.

Nick took up a place on the couch, and before long she joined him, holding two cups of coffee. He’d given up on wearing the ripped shirt completely and was leaned forward on his knees, torso bare.

“What’s all this?” He asked, motioning to the coffee table.

Too late she realized she’d left her coding project sitting out the night before, scattered across the table. It was supposed to be a classified contract.

“Nothing,” she dismissed, gathering it up as quickly as she could without seeming suspicious and sliding it back into its folder.

Luckily she’d decided not to put on pants, and he was so distracted by her that he hadn’t noticed her haste in putting things away. He sank back next to her on the couch, leaving his cup forgotten on the table.

“You’re going to need to wear more clothes if you want me to keep my hands off you,” he said apologetically, sliding a hand from her knee slowly up her thigh. The way he did certain things often gave her the impression that he was silently asking for go ahead.

“Why would I not want your hands on me?” She asked.

He took the hot cup from her hands and set it on the table. It was too hot to drink anyway. 

She’d never had a relationship like this before. Never had she been wanted and craved so intensely by someone, or craved someone in return. Even when she was younger, she’d never had that boyfriend that wanted her constantly, lusted after her just from looking at her. They had wanted what they wanted, when they wanted it, but it seemed like she was there to give them what they needed, not to be the reason for it.

Nick kissed her softly this time, his hands traveling up her t-shirt and tickling her skin. If she could wake up to this everyday, she’d gladly take it. Her own hands touched his bare skin, tracing the muscles in shoulders, and ran her fingers through his shower-wet hair. He’d taken a sip of the hot coffee before putting the cup down and the dark flavor filled her senses. 

Not bothering to remove her underwear, his hand slipped inside, warm, gentle. It was an awkward angle for him, and she laid back to make it easier for him. A sound of pleased assent came from him, and he stopped kissing her to concentrate on lifting her hips up and removing the barrier that was between them, throwing her underwear to the floor. Lifting the large t-shirt, he stuck his head underneath playfully, kissing and licking at her stomach and tickling her with his short hair. His mouth moved lower slowly, tantalizing her by getting closer to where she wanted him to be and then returning to her stomach to tease. 

Surprising her with the sudden wanted, but unexpected pleasure, he employed his fingers while still kissing her stomach. After she had cried out at the intense feeling, she pulled the t-shirt from his face and found a mischievous smile. 

They locked eyes while he used his nimble fingers to caress her, radiating her moisture with every pass. There was satisfaction in his face as he watched her writhe and whimper. Keeping his fingers busy, he moved back up toward her and kissed her lips, gentle again; There was nothing urgent about this, and he seemed intent to take it slow and enjoy himself. Now that he was closer she reached down to unbutton his jeans. He hadn’t put his belt on yet, which made it easier to pop the button open, but he brought his hand up and stopped her.

“You didn’t have to stop,” she whined, biting his lip playfully as he backed away from her.

“I don’t plan to stop for a very long time,” he reassured her with a smile as he slid the shirt up over her head and began kissing her body, moving downward even more slowly than the last time.

“Are we going to be testing your knowledge of the word forever again?” She asked sarcastically, enjoying the sensation of his five o’clock shadow on her skin.

“I reckon,” he replied.

She burst out laughing, causing her thighs to close tightly around him. “Did you just say reckon?” The fit of giggles took a long time to subside.

“Funny, was it?” He asked, stubbornly wedged between her knees.

“Like a real cowboy,” she laughed again.

He ignored her comments and ceased her laughing with a well-timed movement of his thumb. She let her thighs fall back open, and lay back into the cushions. Mouth positioned between her thighs, he slipped his hands under her knees, and around to tenderly grip her hips. Each noise she made in response to his well-placed tongue seemed to get him a little more excited and before long his grip on her hips was intense, his movements quickened.

A knocking came to the door, and interrupted their fun. Startled, Nick froze, and sat up, kneeling over her. The knock came again.

The fuzziness crowding her mind from his attentions took a moment to clear, and on the third knock she seemed to realize what was happening.

“Shit,” she said, sitting up slowly, the thought taking its dear sweet time coming to the front of her mind. “Shit, shit, shit!” She exclaimed loudly, jumping up from the couch and almost tipping Nick onto the floor. “What day is it?”

The look on his face was panicked, and as the knock came again, she looked down and was oddly surprised to find herself naked.

“Sunday,” he replied.

“Shit, shit shit! You have to get the door,” she said to him as she bolted for the bedroom.

“What? Why?” He asked. “Just ignore it.”

“I can’t,” she hissed from the hallway.

“Why not? They’ll go away,” he said, settling himself back onto the couch. 

“No,” she said, “they won’t. It’s the neighbor kid to water my back yard. If I don’t answer he’ll use the spare key to get in.”

Nick sighed, and frowned at her. “You keep a spare key on your front step?” He whispered back at her.

“Really? That’s what you’re concerned about right now?” She asked, motioning to the door and then back to her naked body.

“I don’t have a shirt,” he said, suddenly adopting her panic and hopping up from the couch. “I can’t answer the door with no shirt on.” He did up the button on his pants and looked around the floor. He picked up her t-shirt, and slipped it over his head. The sleeves and chest were tight, and hugged his arms, and it was pink, but it fit well enough. The V-neck definitely didn’t suit his personality. He picked up her underwear from the floor, held them in his hand for a moment before he tossed them to her and shooed her toward the bedroom.

Mandy rushed into the bedroom and closed the door, leaving it open a crack to listen.

The knocking stopped and she heard the door open. Nick’s voice was too low and quiet to hear his greeting.

“Where’s Mandy?” Gabe’s adolescent voice carried through the house. The accusation in his voice was plain.

Nick’s voice grew a little louder in his own defense. “She’s not here man. She said you might stop by, but I got the back yard for you. Don’t worry about it.”

“What are you doing here?” Gabe asked boldly.

Mandy tried not to giggle too loudly and give herself away.

“I just put a garden in the back yard,” Nick replied. “Check it out.”

The footsteps came down the entry hall, and she hid behind the door as though they were going to come looking for her. The board by the couch creaked as they went toward the patio door.

“Looks good,” Gabe conceded. “I wish I knew you were doing it. I could have helped. She never said she was putting one in.”

“It wasn’t really planned,” Nick conceded. “I’ll tell her you stopped by,” he tacked on, moving back toward the front door and hitting the squeaky board again.

“She already paid me,” Gabe said, “I feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad,” Nick said, “consider it paid vacation man.”

“Alright, thanks,” Gabe replied.

The front door closed, and when Nick didn’t come to find her she peeked her head out to make sure he was alone in the living room. Feet up on the coffee table, he was relaxed on the couch drinking his coffee.

“That boy’s got it bad for you Ms. Mandy,” he smiled over the rim of the cup.

Sitting down next to him, still naked, she picked up her own cup and took a sip. Too cold. “Naw,” she dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand, “he’s just protective of the old spinster next door.” Throwing back the rest of her coffee she raised an eyebrow suggestively in his direction. “Can I have my shirt back?”

“No,” he shook his head, mock serious before he set his cup down and dove back into her body.

 

 

The day was growing dark, and Nick watched from Mandy’s couch as shadow’s shifted and grew in the back yard. The spray of the shower was the only noise in the house and it soothed him. Honestly it aroused him, thinking of her body wet and soapy, but he suppressed the compulsion to join her. They didn’t have time to waste before work, and he didn’t want her to think that all he wanted from her was sex. 

Looking over at the coffee table he noticed the file that had been there earlier was gone. Mandy must have taken it when she got up and stashed it somewhere. The images had stuck in his mind: photos of strange drawings on paper. They had reminded him of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He wanted to see the pictures again to see if they could jog his memory further.

Excited to get back to work, he started to think about what the work dynamic would be like now that he had hooked up with Mandy. Would anything be awkward? Would they tell anyone other than Warrick?

Mandy came into the living room drying her hair with a towel. She wore some casual sweat pants and a well worn tank top that clung to every wet curve. Nick bit back the excitement it roused in him, but obviously couldn’t hide the look in his eyes.

“I can tell what’s on your mind,” she winked. “I actually can’t believe you’re still thinking about sex.” She sat down on the couch near his stomach and he rolled to his side to make more room for her.

“I wasn’t thinking about it at all until you walked back in here,” he lied, curling an arm around her stomach and pulled her back into him. “Speaking of which,” he started, “what are we going to do at the lab?”

“What do you mean?” She asked warily.

“What should we say?”

“Nothing,” she said as though it were obvious.

“What dya mean nothin’?” He asked seriously, sitting up.

“We can’t say anything,” she said. “You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

Nick looked away guilty. “Well Warrick knows.”

“I got that one,” she said, “remember, he convinced me to fall into your arms?” She dramatically batted her eyelashes.

He shook his head, and didn’t mention that he thought Sara might know; He hadn’t confirmed that yet. “But, you don’t want anybody to know about us?”

“Coworkers can’t fraternize,” she said simply. “It’s against department rules. As long as they work on the same shift they can’t get be romantically involved.”

“Oh,” Nick hadn’t even thought about that. He knew it wasn’t a great idea to date a coworker, but all this had been quite spontaneous. “I didn’t realize.”

“It’s actually the excuse I used when Hodges asked me out,” she said. “I looked it up so I could quote the manual directly.”

“So we keep it under wraps,” he said.

“Yup, unless you want to change shifts,” she replied simply. “I hope you’re good at keeping secrets Mr. Stokes.”

“Not at all,” he admitted. Changing shifts was out of the question. Night shift was his family.

“Not surprising,” she said. “Just be cool.”

“How do I do that?” He asked with a smile.

“You can avoid me if you have to,” she offered.

“Well I don’t want to have to do that,” Nick said.

“Let’s play it by ear cowboy,” she said, breaking free of his hold on her and returning to the bathroom to finish drying her hair.

Starting to get nervous about keeping such a big secret from people he worked so closely with, Nick didn’t want to leave. He’d been so eager to return to work and now he just wanted to lock Mandy in the house and keep her to himself. Pretending there was nothing between them? How would he do that? When he looked into her eyes he heard the tiny breathy moans she made, and saw her sweating skin. He’d never needed to play down his sexual attraction before. 

He’d had that fling with Catherine, but she was such a flirt that no one noticed once they’d started sleeping together years earlier because she didn’t change her attitude toward him. And it hadn’t lasted long anyway. Any of the other women he flirted with at work had never gone farther than that, so he could continue his flirtatious relationship with them.

Still lost in thought about how to approach the situation he got up and dressed slowly.

“You better hurry,” Mandy urged as she came into the living room, already dressed for work. Her hair was loose around her face, a dark collared shirt on, a few buttons open, a small golden chain around her neck. 

“Hurry?” Nick asked, freed from his thoughts.

“I’m assuming you’re going to go home and get ready for work,” she prompted. “It’s getting late.”

Nick checked his watch. “Shit!” He grabbed his torn shirt, and pulled it on before grabbing his leather jacket and heading out. He’d almost run out of the door when he jogged back into the living room, grabbed Mandy softly at the waist and surprised her with a kiss that was deeper and more sensual than it should have been for someone trying to forget about sex for the next eight plus hours.

No matter what happened, the lab always continued to do its thing, and when Nick arrived it felt as though he’d been gone a day or two instead of a week. The awkwardness started early when he bumped into Mandy in the locker room, grabbing her lab coat from her locker.

“Hey Nick,” she greeted casually before walking out.

“Hey,” Nick returned nervously with a small awkward wave of his hand.

Warrick crossed Mandy’s path on his way in and made sure she was gone before he commented, “that was cold.”

“Yeah, listen,” Nick started in a quiet voice, “we’ve gotta keep it on the downlow.”

“How’s that gonna work?” Warrick asked.

Nick sat down to change over to his boots. “I’m not entirely sure,” he replied.

“Why’s it gotta be quiet?” Warrick asked.

“Lab rules,” Nick replied. “You didn’t tell anybody did you?” Sudden panic rose up in him.

“Naw man,” Warrick admitted. “It’s your thing.” He knew Warrick better than to share someone else’s secret, but now he was beginning to become paranoid about the whole thing.

“Just don’t let Cath find out from somebody else,” Warrick warned.

“Yeah,” Nick sighed out. That wouldn’t end well.

“Find out about what?” Catherine asked from the hall. She leaned in the doorway. “Keeping secrets Nicky?”

“That I’m back,” he said, hoping it was a convincing answer. “I was just coming to find you.”

“I bet,” she smiled, walked over and pulled him into a hug. “Glad you’re back.”

“Me too,” he replied.

“Warrick, you’re with me,” Catherine crooked her finger at her evening partner. “406. Meet me in the garage in ten.”

“No problem,” Warrick said, lacing up his boots. “Both of us on a 406?” He asked her.

“In Centennial,” she said in explanation on her way out. Rich neighbourhood.

“Could be interesting,” Nick replied.

“I’ll let you know,” Warrick replied, grabbing his case and following after her. Ten for Catherine meant now.

Nick wandered out into the labs. Now that he was back, his brain was drawn back to the last case he worked on and he started thinking about the DB he’d been processing. Just like that the images he’d seen on Mandy’s table triggered an idea and he went looking for the evidence from that last case.

“Hey Grissom,” Nick ducked into the boss’s office. “Do you know where the evidence ended up from the Bertram Jones case? Is anything still being run?”

“Nick,” Grissom seemed almost surprised to see him. “Come on in. Close the door.”

Nick entered, afraid this was going to be a serious talk about what had happened to him. He’d had enough of those with the shrink.

Grissom sat and looked at him over his glasses, still holding the paperwork he’d been working on. “I need you to write up a report,” Grissom said. “About what happened last week.”

Nick’s lips drew into a hard line and he nodded. He’d have to rehash everything that had happened in writing. The shrink had warned him, but he hadn’t really prepared himself to relive it.

“Tonight,” Grissom added.

“Absolutely,” Nick put on a brave smile, but it felt empty, and from the look on Grissom’s face it looked empty too.

“You can always talk to me Nick,” Grissom added.

“I know,” Nick replied, “everyone around here always lends an ear.”

“But you can always talk to me,” his boss tacked on.

“Thanks,” Nick replied, pushing up out of the chair. “I’d best get a start on that report.”

Grissom nodded and returned his attention to the file in front of him. As Nick reached the door, without looking up, Grissom added: “The file and evidence are in lab 6, we’re waiting on some final results from Mandy. It was a long shot so we put it on the back burner.”

Nick rushed down to the print lab, and took a deep breath before he walked through the door. Mandy was concentrating on the screen in front of her, clicking and dragging, clicking and dragging.

“You know, this entire lab is made of windows,” she said without glancing up. “That moment you took to get yourself together just now was visible to everyone.” There was a smile on her face, but she was trying to keep her eyes on her work.

She wasn’t going to make things easy, but he should have known that from the start. “Hey Mandy,” he ignored her comments, and leaned on her desk like he would have before. Or would he have done that? Would he have stood? Continuing to lean on the desk he continued, “do you have the results for the Jones case yet? Grissom said something about a long shot?”

“He said they weren’t priority,” she replied, “I’ve got something on the go for Sara right now. I should be able to get to it later unless something crazy comes in.”

“What are we looking at?”

“Some partials, and when I say partials I mean barely there, on the casings. They want to try to compile a full print from all of the casings you found.”

“If anybody can do it, you can,” he smiled at her flirtatiously the way he would have before.

“I will work my magic,” she replied with her dry sarcasm.

“Let me know when you get to it,” he said, heading out for lab 6 to take a look at the rest of the evidence. Maybe this wouldn’t be so difficult after all. He could still flirt with her, just like he’d always done. Nobody needed to know there was any more substance behind it, except for the two of them. And Warrick. And maybe Sara.

The box of evidence was small. There hadn’t been a lot, other than the clothes the kid had been wearing. Nick pulled all of the bags from the box and looked more closely at everything. The bag full of personal effects was now inside of its own bag. Covered with prints from the incident in the morgue, it was now evidence all on its own. The original evidence bag was empty, all of the money and casino chips gone. Something was missing, and it was in his head. There was a piece he was missing and he couldn’t quite figure out where it fit. Something about those pictures that had been out on Mandy’s table had reminded him of something.

Unsure where to take it from there, and with a report to write, he headed for the lab and found an empty station to sit down and write up his experience.

The moment he set fingers to keyboard, his pulse and breathing quickened as the incident played out like a movie in his head: The interruption of his photographs, the threat of the gun, the freezer. Trying to stay at arm’s length, he wrote everything out in detail, leaving out any feelings he’d had. 

Finished the first draft, his hands shaky, he fled to the break room to fuel up on coffee.

Sara sat at the table, quickly eating her lunch while looking over her latest file.

“Hey Nick,” she greeted with her generous gapped smile. “Welcome back. Again.”

He gave her a little wave, afraid to say anything just yet for fear his voice might break. He turned his back to her and poured a coffee, taking a hasty sip that burned his throat.

“I meant to apologize,” she said, “for Greg.”

“Oh, why? What did he do now?” Nick asked, taking a seat beside her. “Did he draw a sheriff’s badge on my lab coat again?”

Sara laughed and shook her head. “No, but thanks for reminding me about that. We interrupted your breakfast last week.” The smile still on her face she glanced at him and then back to her food quickly. She was fishing.

“What breakfast?” He asked, trying to be nonchalant.

The look on her face said she would take that for confirmation of her suspicions. “Your breakfast with Mandy.”

“Naw,” he replied, taking another sip of coffee, “we were working late and didn’t think anyone else was still around, or we would have invited you guys.”

“Ok,” she replied, “as long as we didn’t interrupt anything.” The last word was heavy with implication.

Nick didn’t reply, but sipped his coffee again. He couldn’t help but feel like he was grinning ear to ear, and was glad she had distracted him from his gloom.

“Are you going out on a call tonight?” Sara asked, changing the subject.

“Doesn’t look like it,” Nick replied. “Wasn’t given an assignment.”

“Makes sense,” she said, “first night back.”

“I better get back to it,” he said, standing up from the table. “Gotta finish this report tonight.”

One more quick look, minimal revision, and he hunted down Grissom and passed the file folder over to him.

“Good,” Grissom said, taking the report, “Warrick needs a hand.”

Nick walked into the hotel room, and did a quick initial look. “Nice digs,” he greeted Warrick.

“David’s just finishing up,” Warrick had that look he got when he was deep into a scene. Like he was trying to figure out a jigsaw puzzle without moving any of the pieces.

“What do you need?” Nick asked, setting his kit down in the hallway before stepping into the room.

“Black light?” Warrick suggested.

“You got it,” Nick replied, just happy to be back in the field. He pulled the light from his kit and got started.

Half an hour later he’d run the light across every surface in the room. “Semen on the bed sheets, as well as every other flat surface in here,” Nick shook his head. 

There was cocaine cut into lines on a dresser top, vodka, and champagne. It was a party room. Nick wasn’t surprised considering the inhabitant had been a big Hollywood star. He wasn’t a big movie buff, but he vaguely recognized the guy before he was bagged up and rolled out.

Since Nick was done with the black light, Warrick pulled the curtains open to let in the daylight. “Hey,” he called to Nick. “I’ve got some smudges here.” He shone his flashlight along the pane to get a better look.

Nick pointed out the set of footprints on the floor underneath. “Was this guy just doing it all over the hotel room?”

“If those are his footprints, where are hers?” Warrick asked.

Nick shrugged, and then his thoughts were drawn back to Mandy’s hallway and lifting her up against the wall. “Or her feet were up in the air?” He wondered aloud.

Warrick frowned and let out a sound of disbelief.

“What?” Nick said with a grin. “You tell me, you just had your honeymoon.”

“I’ve got a bag full of prints,” Warrick said as he walked away from the window. “Can you bring them down to Mandy? I’m headed to the morgue with David.”

“No problem man,” Nick replied.

“I didn’t think it would be.”

 

Catherine and Grissom had beat Nick by minutes, and Mandy’d had to break the bad news that he was going to the back of the line, but he didn’t seem to care.

Nick leaned against the counter behind her, perusing his file and making notes, while she scanned in Catherine’s prints.

“Man, you should have seen this place,” Nick said, still jotting notes here and there. “Cocaine, liquor, and semen everywhere. Guy had a lot of stamina.” He seemed amused by the whole thing.

“Yeah, I heard,” she said as she scanned set after set of prints. “Julian Harper right? Was he just as handsome in person?”

“Well, he was dead,” Nick replied as though he were actually thinking about it. “And I’m not really a movie buff.”

“Did you ever see Relay?” She asked. “Hoo boy. I think he spent more time with his shirt off in that movie than on.”

“Can’t say I remember that one,” he replied.

Her mind backtracked to his comments about the drugs at the crime scene and she blurted out: “Did you ever try cocaine?” She spun around in her chair to see his expression while the scanner buzzed behind her.

Nick’s hand stopped moving and he looked up with a confused smile. “No, I have not.”

“I almost did once,” she said, remembering. “College. Changed my mind at the last minute. Figured I’m hyper enough as it is.”

Nick raised an eyebrow, nodded his agreement and returned his attention to the notes he was working on.

“I’ll get to yours as soon as I can and let you know once I have something,” she said, spinning back to her screen.

“You have plans after work today?” He asked casually. From the sound of his voice behind her, he was still looking at his file, trying to be nonchalant.

“With the amount of work you just dumped on me I may never get to leave,” she replied.

“That’s what you get with a hotel room,” he apologized. “You know what it’s like. A hundred prints and none of them might mean anything.”

“Well, if I ever do get to go home I’m going to laze away the day in my backyard looking at a big box of dirt.” She’d let him know she was free, now he could do with it what he wanted. With a big profile case like Julian Harper, she wondered if he was going to make it out on time. There would be pressure from the police department for him and Warrick to get answers. They’d have to release a statement and would want to do it sooner rather than later. “I’ll buzz you when I’ve got any answers for you.” She prompted him. Standing behind her was a distraction she didn’t need with so much work to get through.

“Yeah,” he agreed absently. “Thanks. I’ve gotta go check something.”

Mandy had just started on Nick’s evidence when he came back through the door with something new.

“Scrap all that,” he waved away the other prints. “Run these.” He handed her a set of latent cards.

“Good quality,” she admitted, “shouldn’t take long. I was sure you’d already brought me every print in the place.”

“We found these in an… unlikely place,” he added.

Prints scanned to the system she sat down to start her analysis and comparison. “Do you mind?” She asked. He was still looming over the desk in front of her, arms crossed. “It’s unnerving when you stand there and watch me, can you just stand over there?” She motioned behind her.

“Sure,” he agreed, and leaned against the counter behind her again, waiting.

Within ten minutes she had what he wanted. “Alright,” she stood up, handing over the results report. “One set belong to your vic, and the other-”

“Yeah, I’ve gotta go find Warrick,” Nick said, frowning at the results and striding out.

“Do you still need the rest of these run?” She indicated the pile of prints he’d brought her earlier.

“No, that’s alright,” he said as he continued down the hall.

“You’re welcome!” She called after him.

“Thank you!” He turned back with a smile before jogging off.

Mandy started on the project for Nick’s older case: the prints she was cobbling together from the dropping casings. At quitting time she was no closer to having a full print to run, and since it was a back burner project Grissom wouldn’t approve any overtime on it, so she left. 

It was a beautiful day, and she grabbed a cold beer from her fridge before retiring to the back yard to sit and look at her box of dirt. She’d been under the impression that Nick was going to finish it for her, but now it was just a big box of dirt with nothing in it. Gabe would like some extra work in her yard, for extra cash of course. She could hire him to fill it with flowers, and then also water the flowers so she didn’t have to worry about killing them all. Feeling like she wasn’t giving Nick enough credit, it had only been a few days, she decided to wait and see what he would do with it first.

 

 

Nick finished up with Julian Harper case, and left Warrick to write up the report and present it to Grissom.

“I’ve got somewhere to be,” Nick apologized as he left quickly. 

The drive to Mandy’s took too long, despite the fact that he sped through the streets, rolling through stop signs and weaving in and out of traffic where he could. Parked hastily, too far from the curb, he bolted to her door and knocked hard. He heard her footsteps inside, and as soon as the door opened in front of him he pushed his way through and grabbed for her, kissing her so furiously that he partially missed her mouth at first. He had never needed something so badly as he needed her, and though he didn’t understand it, he didn’t care. He kicked the door closed hard behind him and it slammed with a bang. 

Mandy reciprocated immediately, which made him happy and stoked the fire that was overheating all of his muscles. There was no thinking this time, it was all animal. Their fierce kisses weren’t in sync, but neither of them cared as they continued to paw at each other. Nick found the gaps between the buttons on her shirt, threaded his fingers in and pulled hard until he had ripped the buttons free and tore the shirt from her arms. There was no time to remove his shirt, but her hands slipped up inside to touch his skin, and they were cool against him, making him shiver and raising all the hairs on his body. Pushing her up against the small table in the hall, he heard something tumble to the floor and ignored it. 

There was no fumbling this time, his fingers were nimble with his wanting and he slipped the clothing from her hips and let it fall, doing the same with his own. He’d put a condom in his pocket and quickly put it to use before he lifted her onto the table and pressed himself between her legs, wasting no time in finding the relief he sought from her. As he pushed into her, a sense of ease spread upward in him and then spurred the animal inside that had wanted this so badly, melting that ease into more craving. He stopped kissing her to let out a smothered groan into her shoulder. He grabbed her hips, and pulled her hard toward him, spreading her thighs further and letting him sink closer to her. It wasn’t going to last long, but neither of them cared, as they rocked the table back and forth against the wall, knocking more things to the floor. The flush from her cheeks spread to her chest, and her moans came quicker and quicker, but he finished before he was able to give her the same satisfaction. 

Hurriedly, so she wouldn’t lose the tension he had built in her, he knelt in front of the table and held her in place with his strong hands while he savored the taste of her and spiked her pleasure. When she bucked against him, and he knew she had hit that peak, he sat back on his heels, exhausted, despite the short encounter. 

Her muscles loose and limp, she slipped from the table and he caught her as she collapsed onto his lap, knees on either side of him. He held her close, savoring the fact that she needed him to hold her up, to keep her safe. The soft skin of her back was still dry under his fingertips; They hadn’t even been at it long enough to shed any sweat. Laying on him, her head on his shoulder, her entire weight heavy in his arms, he couldn’t be sure she wasn’t asleep.

“I have been thinking about that all day,” he admitted to her as he continued to swirl his fingers on her skin.

“Mmmm,” she breathed out onto his shoulder.

They stayed like that until Nick’s legs started to ache from the position and her weight on top of him. “Time to move to the couch?” He asked.

She sighed, and slowly pushed herself off of him, to flop back on the floor. “I don’t know if I can move that far.” Her clothes were still wrapped around one ankle, her bra still on.

Nick pushed himself to his feet and almost fell before he realized that his pants were still tangled around his ankles because he’d never even taken his boots off. Redressed, he knelt down, lifted her in his arms and carried her to the couch. She tensed up as he walked and she gripped tightly around his neck.

“I was joking about not being able to move,” she smiled as he set her down as softly as he could manage on the couch.

“I couldn’t be sure,” he replied.

“Maybe I wasn’t,” she collapsed back onto the couch and feebly kicked her leg to free herself of the clothes still hanging there.

Nick joined her and put her feet in his lap.

“Thinking about it all day hmm?” She asked.

Nick nodded. “Couldn’t get you off my mind.”

“You did pretty good at the lab,” she said. “You barely even flirted with me.”

“I’m a better actor than I thought I guess,” he said, softly massaging the feet and calves that lay across him.

“I could definitely get used to this,” she murmured. “Can you cook too?”

“If by cook you mean order takeout, I got it covered,” he replied.

“Man of my dreams.” 

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” he said.

Mandy shook her head and sat up, withdrawing her legs from his and wafting the scent of her body toward him. He closed his eyes as it traveled down his throat and stirred up his excitement again. Poor girl wasn’t going to be able to walk if he kept listening to his sex drive. A hard swallow and thinking about tying his bootlaces suppressed his craving.

“Nope, I was just sitting in my back yard and staring at my box full of dirt,” she replied to his question. A pause, then: “You ok?”

When he opened his eyes he saw she was sitting, legs tented and spread a little, elbows resting on her knees. Her hair fell haphazardly into her face, her dark eyes looking at him with concern. Somewhere along the way they had lost her glasses.

“Fine,” he shook away her concern and stood up to walk away from the temptation.

“You don’t look fine,” she replied.

“Good god,” he paced across the living room, squeaking a board by the couch with each pass he made. He hoped the steady walking would distract his body. “I cannot get you outta my head Mandy.” There was frustration in his voice and he felt bad for that.

“I’m sorry?” She apologized sarcastically. “Are you still thinking about sex right now?”

“Well… yeah,” he admitted and stopped to look at her, still mostly naked on the couch. She wasn’t helping.

She nodded and pursed her lips in thought. “Yeah,” she laughed, “me too. This is brutal.”

Nick was surprised. After the speech she’d given him about not wanting their relationship to be all about sex, he didn’t know how to take that response. Never predictable.

“So, what do we do?” He asked. “Do we spend some time apart?”

“I can tell you right now, that has not been helping me at work,” she said. “We could just lock ourselves in the bedroom until we die of starvation.”

“Be serious Mandy,” Nick replied. “I can’t function like this.”

“It’s a new relationship thing, right?” She prompted, as though she didn’t know if this was normal or not. “It’ll go away after we get comfortable with each other. Right?”

“I can’t wait for this to go away,” his voice was almost manic. “I need to go to work, I need to focus.” The first thing he’d thought while he was in that hotel room, was about pushing her up against that window and having his way with her. Wondering what she would look like pressed against the cold glass. It was going to impact his concentration at work and he couldn’t afford to make any mistakes, not in his line of work.

“Dude,” she walked over to him, her face totally serious. “I need you to calm the fuck down ok? You are freaking out.”

“Yes!” He said, “I am 100 percent freaking out.”

She bit her cheek, trying to subdue a smile.

“What?” He prompted. “What’s so funny?”

She covered her mouth with a hand and started to shake.

“Come on Mandy, be serious,” he begged.

That comment just sent her further over and she let the laughter spill out through her fingers.

“It ain’t funny,” he whined.

“Ok, I beg to differ,” she said, still standing mostly naked, distracting him.

He turned, picked up her shirt from the floor and thrust it at her.

Taking the cue, she put it on and pulled the front closed, but continued to shake with laughter. “You’re right, it’s not funny,” she said sarcastically. “You’re upset because we’re too sexually attracted to each other, and you need to figure out what to do about that.”

He narrowed his eyes, but couldn’t help the grin that started to creep up on his features.

“Also Mr. Stokes,” she said, “you’ve ruined my shirt. See, it won’t even stay closed anymore.” When she let go of it, the shirt fell open tantalizingly.

“Then we’re even,” he joked before slid his hands across her body and leaned in to kiss her again, his concerns forgotten.


	5. Peanut Butter, Baseballs, and Roller Coasters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension in the lab between Mandy and Nick causes some concerns for Nick. A bunch more sex.

Even back burner projects need to be finished. Mandy had pushed through the small amount of work she had, and started on the shell casings she’d been puttering away at for over a week. She’d been making small progress here and there in between the regular rush work. It was a grueling process and there were pieces of the puzzle that were totally unusable: too smeared, not a big enough sample, and so on. But she carefully worked through the painstaking recreation of a mostly complete print. She was unsurprised with the results once she’d run it through IAFIS, but double checked them manually anyway. 

Once she’d finished, she texted Nick and Catherine and took a break before more work flooded in. No matter what happened at a crime scene there were always prints to run: most were an irrelevant waste of time.

Wendy and Henry sat at the break room table, having a semi-serious discussion. It was definitely a slow night. 

Mandy joined them, facing the TV, back to the door, kicking her feet up on a chair. She regretted it almost immediately when she learned the subject matter. Specifically Hodges’ new mystery girlfriend.

“I don’t think she’s real,” Wendy concluded.

“Give the guy some credit,” Henry argued.

“I will give him no credit,” she answered.

“None of our business,” Mandy inserted. “He’ll talk about it when he wants to.” After a pause she added: “It’s not going to work out anyway, not while he lives with his mother.”

Wendy looked glum at the gossip denial.

“What about you Mandy?” Henry fished. “Seeing anyone?”

“Nope,” she replied casually. “Same old single Mandy.”

“Hey Mandy,” Nick followed his voice in from the hall. “I got your text.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she replied. “But we’re in the middle of a very important discussion about our love lives.”

“What about you, Nick?” Wendy asked. “Any ladies on the line?”

Mandy tilted her head awkwardly over the back of the chair to see his face. It was hard to read upside down.

“Y’know, I like to keep my private life private,” he answered.

“Nobody huh?” Wendy assumed, returning her attention to the coffee cup in front of her.

“Now I didn’t say-” Nick started, but Mandy interrupted.

“As fascinating as this all is, let’s get you those results big boy,” she said, jumping up from her chair.

Nick followed her back to toward the print lab. “Where are we going?” He asked.

“To the print lab,” Mandy replied.

He caught up to walk alongside her. “Why?”

“For your results,” she said, as though it were a stupid question, which it was.

They turned into the print lab.

“But I haven’t given you anything to process,” he said.

She narrowed her eyes and leaned across the desk toward him. “Why did you come a-runnin’ if you didn’t think I actually had something for you?”

He looked nervous and checked to make sure no one was listening. “I thought maybe you wanted to see me,” he said, his voice full of implication helped along by the stupid look of expectation on his face.

“I’m actually pretty sure I could swing that as sexual harassment,” she said, straightening up. “Nobody would suspect anything was going on between us if I filed a sexual harassment report. I could even file it with Ecklie.”

“Alright, alright,” he ceded. “What have you got for me?”

Sparing no time for a flirtatious smile she sat down at her station and brought up the results of her hours of hard work. Nick rounded the desk and leaned down behind her, hand on the back of her chair.

“These,” she tapped the screen, which displayed all of the individual print bits and pieces, “are the usable samples I got from the casings in the Bertram Jones case. Now,” she clicked a button and all of the prints swam together to combine, “this is what I managed to get from them. It’s not a complete print because there were parts of his finger that just never came in contact with any of the casings. But, I ran the results through AIFIS and double-checked them myself. They match the prints from the evidence bag from our mystery suspect from the morgue.”

“Mandy, this is amazing,” he replied.

“Don’t get too excited,” she said. He’d leaned in close to the screen and she looked over at him. He was so close she could smell his aftershave; It was barely there, some man-scented stuff that made her think of the way she fit so perfectly against his chest under his chin. “It’s not a match I could testify to. Putting all these prints together isn’t really reliable. And it’s not a hundred percent match, probably because of the distortion and smearing.” She handed him a printed copy of the results to look over. “And the guy isn’t in the system, so we don’t even know who to go after.”

He took the report and scanned it intently. “He’s in the system now,” Nick said, “and from the look I got of him I don’t think it’ll be long before they bring him in.” He started for the hallway.

“Nick?” Mandy called him back.

“Yeah?” He looked up from the report just as she snatched it back from him.

“This was a courtesy call, but I have to give this to Catherine.”

“What? Why?” Nick asked, smile fading. “This is my case.”

“Actually, after your incident downstairs they took your name off it. I’ve gotta call Catherine in on it. I actually texted her at the same time as you.”

Nick’s face hardened at the news. “Come on, I’m just bringing it to Brass. I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Is that what I am now?” Catherine asked as she walked through the door. “Just your babysitter?” Her voice was light but the last word was full of venom.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that Cat,” he smiled, trying to recover, but he shot a glare at Mandy. It was interesting the way he lit up whenever he was in the same room with Catherine. She had that effect on all of the men in the office. Mandy couldn’t help but wonder what exactly it was that drew men to her. Maybe it was a pheromone thing.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Mandy shot back at Nick. “I didn’t put your foot in your mouth.”

“What’s up guys?” Catherine asked, changing the subject.

Mandy went over the results again while Nick stood by pouting. When Mandy handed Catherine the printout, she didn’t miss the stink-eye he was sending her way.

“So what’s Nick doing here?” Catherine asked boldly once Mandy had finished.

“I thought he deserved to know,” Mandy replied, equally bold in her confidence.

“It’s not his case anymore,” Catherine replied coldly. “It’s mine now. Next time you can just call me in.”

“You got it,” Mandy said, trying to hold in the sarcasm that Catherine had never appreciated.

“You’re talkin’ about me like I’m not standin’ right here,” Nick said angrily.

“Cause you shouldn’t be Nicky. Aren’t you on something with Greg?” Without waiting for a reply she strutted into the hallway, taking the results with her.

“You’re welcome,” Mandy let all of her sarcasm out in one statement under her breath directed at Catherine.

“Thanks Mandy,” Nick said on his way by. She couldn’t tell if it was frustration or pity in his voice. She’d take his frustration, but wouldn’t be pitied. She could deal with Catherine herself.

 

Waiting for Greg to get back from the autopsy, Nick tracked Grissom down in the garage. “Hey Gris, can I have a word?” He asked.

Grissom crawled out of the front seat of the car he was processing. “Sure Nick, what’s up?” His attention was on the piece of fiber he’d just pulled out from somewhere, and he inspected it closely before tucking it into the evidence bag he had ready.

“I was just talking to Catherine,” he started, “ and she said I’ve been taken off the Bertram Jones case.”

Grissom looked over his glasses at Nick, waiting for him to continue.

“It’s my case,” Nick pleaded. “I want it back.”

“I can’t do that Nick,” Grissom replied simply before he walked over to the box that was collecting his evidence, and dropped the small bag inside.

“Why not?” Nick asked, knowing the answer already, but his emotions were taking over.

“Because you’re too close to it Nick,” Grissom replied, turning his attention back to the car. “You have to let Catherine handle it.”

“I’ll work the evidence, stay in the lab,” Nick offered, “but I just want to be on it.”

“No,” Grissom replied simply. “Anything you touch in that case is tainted. Conflict of interest.”

Nick shook his head. “I didn’t know the kid-”

Grissom interrupted and walked back over to Nick. “You’re too close to it Nick. Let it go.”

Nick held his frustration and anger in his chest, feeling tightness there that caused his breathing to come out strained. Who else would work on this case like he would? Who would push to find the guy more than him? No one. Not even Cat. But instead of voicing those concerns he replied like a good boy: “Alright.”

How could he let it go? Every time he walked into that morgue he felt the walls closing in again and had to make an effort to focus on what was going on around him.

The case he’d been given with Greg was ruled a suicide, but he left the lab feeling completely unsatisfied. Not ready to be home dwelling on his frustration, he met Greg at Frank’s for breakfast. When he arrived he was pleased to see that Warrick and Sara had come along.

“Hey guys,” Nick greeted, ensuring he got the outermost seat in the booth. Being crowded in still made his skin itch. He had a feeling that wouldn’t be going away anytime soon.

“So Sara,” Greg started. “I heard you guys were at the Folies.”

“Yeah,” Sara replied, “one of the girls was poisoned.”

“I bet that was interesting back stage,” Greg prodded.

“Not particularly,” Sara replied, changing the subject.

Nick let them carry the conversation, sat back with his cup of coffee, and welcomed the distraction of his friends ribbing each other. When they finally parted ways he realized he didn’t want to be alone; Didn’t want to go home and sit, or sleep the day away.

Mandy’s door was old and worn; One of those doors from the 60’s with the three long frosted windows out of sync with each other. It had been painted several times, but from the peeling paint looked like it had originally been orange. He looked at the door for too long before he tapped on it. They hadn’t made plans, and he wasn’t sure quite where they were at. Was she mad after the tension between them at work? Was it presumptuous for him to just show up? And was it clingy of him to want to spend every day with her? Was he using her because he didn’t want to be alone, and was afraid of his bedroom walls closing in around him?

The door opened and she was still wearing her work clothes, the buttoned shirt she’d had on was unbuttoned showing the tank top underneath.

“Hello handsome,” she greeted with her warm smile and dimpled cheeks.

Just like that the tightness he hadn’t realized he’d still been holding in his chest eased and he felt like he could breath clear again.

“Hello beautiful,” he returned the greeting.

She winked at him before she walked back into the house. “I could get used to that.”

There it was. No overstepped boundaries, no clinginess, they were both comfortable with where things were headed. Leaving their work squabble behind was no problem suddenly, it was a separate thing, and it didn’t follow him.

“Get somethin’ comfortable on,” he said, “I got a surprise for ya.”

She hesitated. “Are you looking for something more comfortable, like sexy? Cause I think that surprise is already spoiled,” she replied. “And I don’t own any lingerie. I’m a cotton kinda gal.”

He smiled, and shook his head. “Like jeans and a t-shirt comfortable. I’m takin’ you out.”

“Taking me out somewhere fancy from the sound of it,” she replied with her dry wit, heading to the bedroom.

Nick didn’t follow. It wasn’t that there was any barrier, physical or emotional; She left the door open. But he didn’t want to get distracted; He had a plan and wanted to follow through with it.

Hair tied back, plain green t-shirt and jeans on, she returned to the living room. “What else do I need?” She asked.

“I got everything else covered,” he replied and led her out to his SUV. He drove west, and didn’t give her any hints on the drive, though she didn’t stop pestering him with silly guesses.

“Peanut butter mud wrestling,” was her last guess as they pulled up to the building and parked.

“Ugh,” he replied, “peanut butter is disgusting.”

“Ok, ok, hold on,” she turned in her seat. “You don’t like peanut butter? Who doesn’t like peanut butter?”

“This guy,” he replied.

She sighed dramatically. “That’s just too bad, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?” He asked, playing along.

“It’s just not going to work out,” she admitted, “we should just end it now before things go bad.”

Still confounded by his condiment preferences she wasn’t paying any attention as she followed him in the front door.

“But it’s the ultimate junk food,” she was trying desperately to convince him. “You can eat it for any meal. Thai peanut sauce is made with peanut butter. Peanut butter ice cream!”

“Nope,” he replied as he paid at the front desk.

“Where are we?” She asked, looking around, suddenly realizing that they had arrived at their destination.

He’d grabbed an extra ball cap for her, and handed it over before he led her out to the batting cages. The crack of baseballs connecting with bats filled the air. He loved that sound.

“What’s going on?” She asked warily. “Is this a jock thing? Bring your girlfriend out to watch you hit baseballs and get her all hot and bothered?”

“Maybe a little,” he winked at her. “But I brought you here to hit some yourself.”

Her laughter was loud, but not fake, and she doubled over to let it out. He waited patiently for her to laugh herself out. “That was a joke, right?”

He shook his head.

“I have never hit a baseball in my life,” she said.

“Never?” He asked, incredulous. “Not even as a kid? Softball?”

Mandy shook her head. “We played softball when I was a kid, but I don’t think I ever successfully hit one. I’m not as clumsy as Wendy, but I’m not exactly Ted Williams.”

“I’ll show you, it’s easy,” he said. Taking the bat he stood at the plate and easily demonstrated a few swings. 

 

Bat in hand, Mandy stood at the plate, unsure how to bend where or what grip to take, despite his demonstration. She let him adjust her here and there with his warm hands and experience. More of a bend in the legs, pull the bat back further. She could tell from the look in his eye that he was looking at her like an experiment: with the right adjustments to the apparatus they could succeed. She doubted it.

After a few practice swings she still didn’t feel quite right.

“I can’t believe you’ve never done this before,” the tone in his voice betrayed that he could believe it, and wasn’t pleased with her swing either. “You love sports.”

“I love watching sports,” she defended, continuing her inconsistent practice swings. “All because of Bobby Martin.”

“Old boyfriend?” Nick asked.

“We never actually dated,” she mused, “but that’s ok, cause he gave most of the sophomore class crabs. So I opted out, but kept the sports addiction.”

“Good choice,” Nick said. He was behind her, and she couldn’t see it, but she could hear the smile in his voice. She liked that sound.

The first few pitches freaked her out, and brushed her back from the plate. He readjusted her again. She missed the first twenty balls. Not even a tick. 

“Eye on the ball now,” he instructed. 

Ten more misses.

“Just like this,” he took the bat and demonstrated his strong, smooth, flawless swing.

She took the bat back from him and returned to the position. He stepped up close behind her and put his arms around her, gripping the bat just below her hands. He was always warm. Why was he always so warm? He pressed against her so she could feel the angles he wanted her to make with her body.

“Move your back foot further back,” he prompted softly and pushed her foot with his own until she shuffled it back. It suddenly felt dirty that he was pushing her legs wider apart in front of a complex full of other people. She tried to focus on what she was doing. At his instruction they swung the bat together.

“Don’t reach out,” he said, “think about swinging forward, not out.” Each breath near her ear was taking her further away from thoughts of baseball.

“This guy bugging you?” A deep voice asked from behind the chain link fence behind them.

Nick tensed around her, startled. He didn’t back off, but held her closer.

“Yup, he sure is,” she replied without looking back at the guy. “But I like it that way.” His body relaxed and melted against hers again.

“Ok, relax your arms and let me swing,” Nick prompted her. She did as told and felt the difference in the way he cut through the air with the piece of ash. “Now you.” He loosened his grip, but kept his hands on the bat as she swung. When he backed away from her, she whimpered, and could only hope that little noise was distracting him as much as he’d been distracting her. It was only fair after all.

Seven more misses before she finally made contact. It fouled back behind her and hit the fence, but she turned around with a cocky look on her face and winked at Nick before returning to the plate. The batting cages were open to the hot afternoon sun and after hitting some six out of twenty more pitches, she was ready to retire.

“My arms are going to fall off,” she protested. “Can I be done now?”

When he smiled, really smiled, it spread up to his eyes and deepened the lines there. He wore his emotions plainly for everyone to see. Despite the fact that Mandy was so outspoken and brazen, she often tried to bite back her laughter. Nick was never like that, he just felt what he felt and everyone knew it. He looked at his watch.

“Well, we’ve still got twenty minutes left,” he said. “You mind if I use up the time?” He held out his hand for the bat.

“Go to town,” she replied, handed him the bat, and stood back against the fence.

Taking the practiced stance of someone who’d been an athlete in high school and college, he started to swing and hit everything that came at him. There was something comforting about the cracking sound that came with each hit. Strangely the sound seemed to come after the ball had already soared far out into the netting.

“Why’d you bring me here?” She asked.

“Did you know Grissom rides roller coasters?” Nick asked, voice strained with the effort of his swing as he continued to hit while he talked to her.

Unsure about the strange change of subject, she took the bait. “I did not.”

“When he’s had a bad day, he goes out and gets on a roller coaster,” Nick continued. “Bad case, crap with the team, whatever. Maybe it reminds him of bein’ a kid again, maybe it just lets him shut his brain off.”

“Is this your roller coaster?” Mandy guessed.

In answer, the muscles of his chest and back tensed and then released like a spring followed by the crack of the bat connecting with rawhide. For the next fifteen minutes she watched him swing like clockwork, resetting his body just the same each time, and saw the release it gave him with each repetition. She could definitely understand, and wished she was better at it.

On the way to the car, she confessed something. “I’ve never been on a roller coaster either.”

“What?” He turned toward her, dumbstruck at her confession. “What kinda childhood did you have?”

“I was always scared of them,” she replied. “Big, loud, fast. I always thought about that one pin that holds the whole thing together falling out and causing an accident.”

Nick laughed. “There’s more than one pin holdin’ it all together.”

“How do you know?” She asked. “Do you build roller coasters?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “That’s what I thought!”

“Well I’m gonna take you on one,” he promised.

“I’ve got a deal for you,” she said as they climbed into the stifling SUV, “you have to try this peanut butter ice cream I’ve got at home, and then I’ll go on a roller coaster with you.”

“Well why don’t we go on the coaster first, and then we’ll go from there,” he said.

They pulled out of the lot and headed north.

“Where’s your place?” She asked absently, as she watched the stretch of desert fly by outside. She hadn’t been to his place yet and was curious.

“West,” he replied.

“Closer than my place?” She asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Yup,” he replied.

“Let’s go west.”

“West it is.”

His house was small, and dark inside where her house was light and airy. There were lots of smaller windows, but they didn’t let in a ton of light, and with the dark green walls the place felt smaller than it was. No wonder he’d wanted to come to her place, his place felt like it was closing in around her and she didn’t even have any claustrophobic-I-was-buried-alive issues. Without asking for a tour she poked around, opened the back door and stepped out into a boiling hot nightmare.

“Yeesh,” she said, coming back in, “you weren’t joking about the back yard.”

“Can I get you anything?” He asked, grabbing some waters from the fridge and tossing her one. “I think I’ve got some chips or something.”

“No thanks,” she took the cold, sweating bottle and put it against the back of her neck. The open-air batting cages, with the sun beating down, had heated her up to the core. “I think I might take a cold shower. I’m a bit warm.”

“You feelin’ alright?” He asked. Coming closer he put a hand to her sweating forehead.

“Fine,” she smiled at him. “But it’ll wash all this sweat off.”

His fingers lingered on her face, tracing a line down to her cheek and across her lips making her tingle.

“I won’t be long,” she promised, backing out of his reach and finding her way to the bathroom. Standard bachelor pad, the bathroom wasn’t the cleanest place she’d ever encountered, but it was far from the worst. There were towels hanging on the back of the door that were relatively clean and she opted to use one of his. It smelled like his aftershave, and she wouldn’t mind wrapping up in it when she was done.

Before starting the shower, she downed the bottle of water, hoping to cool down from the inside and outside.

The cool water was bliss, and as she felt the heat and the sticky sweat run from her body in rivulets she let out a hot sigh. With the water cascading down she hadn’t heard the door open.

“Would you mind some company?” He asked politely. Everything was so polite with him, ever the southern gentleman even in matters of sex.

“I thought you’d never ask,” she said, though she hadn’t been expecting him to join her. Now that he was there it seemed like just what she’d wanted all along.

She stuck her face into the stream of water as he climbed in behind her. The smell of his sweat followed him, filling the cool shower with his warm scent and heat. It was pleasant. 

Gentle fingers started at her shoulders, brushing up into her hair and then down her shoulder blades. Her skin was slick with the water and sweat residue that was still seeping away down the drain, and his hands moved slowly. His fingers were hot on her skin, leaving behind trails of sensation on her. Further down he touched, and the wet of her skin made every part of her feel more sensitive than it ever had before. Each tiny twitch of each finger sent shocks through her body. As his hands came around her hips he gripped her tightly and pulled her back toward him. She almost stumbled, unprepared, but he caught her and held her tight to his body. 

She turned in his arms, her wet body sliding easily around in his embrace, and looked into his face. What she saw there wasn’t quite the craving she’d seen over the last week they’d been together, it was something much more to do with emotion and less to do with sex. It frightened her a little. But the more she looked into his warm eyes, the more she relaxed into that look and began to feel at home there. Her hands were crushed between them against his chest, but she didn’t feel trapped, only safe. His body was still sticky with sweat, and she rotated to move him into the spray. Water ran down his shoulders and gathered in between them. She freed her hands and ran them around his back, massaging his skin to help wash away the sweat.

Nick moved in slowly to kiss her, keeping his eyes locked on hers the entire time, wearing that look of affection. She parted her lips, waiting, but instead of the passionate kisses they had shared before he brushed her lips with his, tickling her. Finally he pressed his lips to hers so softly that she had the sensation again that he was taking care not to break her. They held the kiss for a long time, but eventually his body had cooled down as well and she began to shiver in the cool mist. Breaking the kiss, he reached behind him and stopped the water.

Mandy jumped out of the shower and grabbed one of the towels to wrap up in. It felt good to rub the smell of him all over her body as she dried off; Maybe it was an animal thing, but she liked feeling that she belonged to him.

“So, wanna go out and get some lunch then?” She joked.

Nick reached behind her to grab the second towel and dry the water from his skin, but stayed seductively close to her.

“Well Ms. Mandy,” he smiled, “Actually I was hopin’ to take you to bed with me.”

“I think I could be convinced,” she replied.

His bed was in disarray; he hadn’t been prepared to bring her back to his place. She couldn’t exactly blame him for his slightly messy home, she was one of the messiest people she knew.

Like each time before, this time was different too. Just the way he had started in the shower, he touched her skin soft and light, almost hovering over her. Goosebumps rose all over her entire body. With each caress and kiss laid on her body her needing became more and more prevalent. But there was pleasure in restraining her prickling body, and letting him move at his slow pace. 

He came tantalizingly close to the places she wanted him to touch, but steered clear of them each time, watching her reaction as he did. 

Eventually the craving became too strong to just sit back and ignore, and she got to her knees pushed him back into the pillows to begin exacting her own torture. Starting with a shared kiss, she moved her lips down his jawline to his neck, sighing her excited breaths against his skin. She tasted his collarbone with her tongue, and continued to his chest. 

Trailing her hands lightly along his arms he let out a sigh of contentment. She loved his arms. There was something so sexy about the strength in them, and she daydreamed about having them around her more than she’d ever admit.

Kisses moving lower and lower she found a ticklish spot below his hip that she exploited to great comedic effect, making him curl up defensively around her. He put his hands to either side of her face, and pulled her up for a kiss.

“I think you’re trying to distract me from the fact that I’ve found your weakness tough guy,” she said as she utilized her fingers to trace gentle circles in just the right spot near his hip. 

He jerked against her touches, grabbed her firmly, but not roughly, and turned her over onto her back. Using his knee he pushed her thighs apart and settled his weight there, his arms and shoulders taut as he held himself above her on the bed.

“I’ve had just about enough’a that,” Nick playfully warned her.

“Enough of…” She squirmed to get her hand in the right place before she found the spot again. “…this?”

He twitched on top of her and it was very pleasant.

“Is there nothin’ I can do to get you to stop that?” He asked before kissing her long and soft again.

“I could think of one thing,” she replied flirtatiously.

Trying to be as nonchalant as possible when they were already in the right position, Nick reached across to the bookshelf by his bed and grabbed for the box of condoms stashed there, shaking one out onto his palm. She tried not to notice that the box was almost empty. But she’d known he was a bit of a player when she started into this thing, so she brushed the thought away.

Everything went slowly, and she felt almost like she was in a slow motion movie sex scene. Each sensation was so drawn out, precise, and full of intention that it was the most intense connection she’d ever felt. Keeping eye contact with each movement he made, she felt a bit strange with such an intense focus on her. Giving in to the sensation, she relaxed around him, and let herself fall into the feeling of comfort and safety that he provided. 

Time didn’t seem to mean anything, and she wasn’t sure how long they had been wrapped up together, moving in unison with a steady but slow pace, but she reached a point where each small tiny movement his body made caused stars to flash before her eyes. The breath moving in and out became more and more swift and felt heavy like swallowing water. The sensations moved her body like tiny earthquakes working toward a volcano. It seemed like a place she could live forever, holding in the release and just savoring each and every movement.

When she spoke, it felt like she hadn’t used her voice in days, her throat dry from the small noises she’d been making and her heavy breaths. “I’ve never felt… like this before,” her words were slow like their movements.

“Good?” He looked into her eyes for confirmation.

“So… good,” she replied.

His body grew taught at her words, and she saw the want and eagerness fire up in his eyes, but he pushed it back with obvious effort and relaxed back against her.

As their climb reached its peak, she felt him struggle to restrain himself, and finally gave him the same advice he’d given her during their first time together.

“Let go,” she breathed. “I’ve got you.” 

The hunger surged in him, and he didn’t try to suppress it this time, but gave it free reign. It took over his face in the set of his eyebrows and the clenching of his jaw.

She hugged him tight against her as he buried his face in her neck and uncontrollably let his body do what it so desperately wanted. She was surprised at the effect the sudden increase of his passion had on her body. All of the small prickles of pleasure that had slowly been building and building all surged immediately and expanded like a detonation filling her body up all at once. She had stopped breathing, because her body forgot what it meant to take breath; It wasn’t a necessity, not like the sensations coursing through her, and she ignored her need for oxygen. The only thing she held tightly to was his body.

Once it was over, he lay on top of her. With each breath he took in, expanding his chest, it pushed down on her and pressed the air from her body. In this way they fell into a rhythm of breathing that was symbiotic. She wanted to run her hands through his hair, but her arms had fallen to the sides and she was too exhausted to lift them up.

Almost asleep, she felt him roll to the side, off of her body. Suddenly the chill in the room touched her and she shivered, letting out a mumbled complaint. She didn’t even open her eyes, only turned her head in the direction he had gone. A blanket slipped up over her, and he was there again, curled against her body with an arm across her stomach. Comfortable and warm she drifted off to sleep.

 

 

It started with prickling, stinging pain in his legs. Nick stayed still. He needed to stay still, or he would make them angry and they would bite more, so he stayed as still as he could squeezing his eyes tightly shut. He’d done it to himself. Rather he’d died from suffocation than eaten alive. He could feel them crawling all over him, their little legs tip tapping at each part of his skin ranging his entire body. Suddenly he felt the sides of the box pressing in around him, pushing his arms against his body, pressing his feet upward, but there was nowhere to bend his legs to make room because the top was pressing down on his chest.

He knew he’d opened his mouth to scream, but he didn’t hear any sound as he lashed out as hard as he could with all of his strength. If he couldn’t escape he’d crack the box open and drown himself with throat-fulls of dirt rather than be crushed by the enclosing walls.

Covered in sweat he finally opened his eyes and found himself on the floor of his bedroom looking up at the green walls overhead. Those green walls that so reminded him of the chemical light sticks he’d had when he was trapped underground. Mandy had jumped from the bed and was crouched next to him on the floor. She looked afraid to touch him.

Nick sat up slowly, pulling his attention away from the walls and back to Mandy. Her hair was still messy from sleep. His head ached.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t heard her talking, but in that messy no man’s land between sleep and waking his brain hadn’t translated her words to something he could understand.

“Nick, talk to me,” she said, and finally he understood what she was saying. “Tell me if you’re ok. Can you understand what I’m saying? Nick?”

He loved the sound of his name on her lips, and he smiled as he propped himself against the bookshelf at his bedside.

“Are you smiling?” Mandy asked, dead serious.

“I’m fine,” Nick said. He wasn’t fine. He thought the nightmares were fading, a thing of the past, but this one had felt just as real as the first few he’d had. He thought about it and he hadn’t dreamt about it since he’d started sleeping at Mandy’s. He’d begun to think she was the cure, that she could help him move on. He had been wrong.

“You don’t look fine,” she replied skeptically. “Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

“Feels fine,” he said, rubbing at his scalp to see if it was tender. It wasn’t. “I think my shoulder took the brunt,” he said swinging his left arm in a small arc that caused a twinge of pain at the joint.

“You should get it looked at,” she prompted.

“Naw,” he said. “I’m fine.”

“If you don’t stop saying you’re fine I’m gonna slap you,” she said. There was worry in her eyes. He didn’t want to make it worse, didn’t want to tell her where he’d been.

She stopped looming over him, and sat back against the bookshelf next to him, her naked hip snug against him. They looked at each other. She was gorgeous, reclined and relaxed, hair falling into her eyes. Without her glasses on he could see into her eyes. He put a hand to her cheek and felt the soft skin there, running his thumb across her lips.

What was the point in keeping it from her? The purpose of getting into something like this with someone was to share your life, bad and good. Hiding the bad only ever made things worse, he’d seen that with his own parents. They loved each other, but their fights were legendary because they held these secrets away from each other. He’d never wanted that. If he wanted this to be anything more than just a physical relationship he would have to open up to her.

Taking his hand from her cheek he looked across the room. “Just a nightmare,” he said simply, as though it weren’t important, as though he hadn’t thought his life was ending only moments ago.

“About the morgue?” She asked.

Nick shook his head. “Before that.” No more details, there was only before. Details made it seem more real again, less like something he could eventually forget.

Without a word she sat up, and wrapped her arm around his shoulders, pulling him close to her. He leaned into the embrace, and put an arm around her, his head on her chest. It wasn’t a sexual thing, it didn’t arouse him, it was about comfort. He felt more vulnerable in that moment than he had admitting the nightmare, and his face tightened with fear and weakness but he swallowed back the tears that surged up. It was hard for him to feel weak, usually he was the one doing the holding.

They stayed like that for a while before Mandy broke the silence. “Do you have any coffee in this dump?” She asked.

“I do,” he nodded, sitting up. “Just above the coffee maker.”

She stood up and walked across the room. He loved watching her walk nude. She wiggled just right with each step she took.

“Where do you keep your t-shirts?” She asked, opening the drawers of his dresser and digging through them.

“Hanging in the closet,” he pointed.

“Who hangs their t-shirts?” She asked with a frown paired with a smile as she slid open the closet. After careful inspection of several shirts she took one from its hanger and pulled it over her head, then left the room.

Nick took another shower to reluctantly wash their love making from his body. Then he dressed slowly, putting on what he would wear to work that night: dark jeans and a button up shirt that he tucked in neatly. When he emerged she was on the couch, drinking coffee and flipping through the channels. There was a second cup of coffee waiting for him on the coffee table.

“I don’t understand how you can have a TV this small,” she said, still flicking from channel to channel. “I dig your package though,” this with a saucy wink. “You have, like, a zillion sports channels.”

“A zillion and one,” he said sitting down next to her and grabbing his cup of coffee. A comfort was developing between them. There had been a comfortable friendship there before, but this was different. This was sitting next to each other on the couch, skin touching, his hand on her thigh, drinking coffee and watching TV.


	6. Broken Wrists and Ciphers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy is injured in a bar fight and leans on Nick for support.

Their hunger hadn’t abated, and Mandy was left to wonder, but not dare hope, if it might last forever. Each and every time was different in a million ways, while still having the familiarity that made her comfortable and left her satisfied. Nick always made sure she was satisfied.

Their schedules conspired to give them a day off together, but Nick had committed to going out with Warrick. The newly married CSI had finally decided to introduce his wife to his work family, and had invited them all out to the bar for drinks. Grissom had borrowed from the other shifts to make it happen, so they could go out. Nick had made a big show of inviting the lab techs, just so Mandy could join them.

“You know we can’t dance, right?” She reminded Nick over the sound of the live band. She’d tried to be a little more conservative, since they were going out with coworkers, and wore a tank top that wasn’t cut so low as to show her bra to everyone who wanted to see it. The jeans she’d put on weren’t the tightest she owned. She just hoped Nick would keep his hands off her and not give them away.

They were the first to arrive, and were alone for the moment.

“What?” Nick yelled over the music.

“We can’t dance,” she said closer to his ear.

“Why not?” He asked, leaning against the bar and waiting for the bartender.

“Everyone will know,” she raised her eyebrows. “You’ll just have to bump and grind with someone else.”

The look on his face said he was disappointed, but it conceded that she was right.

“Hey Nicky!” Catherine came up at that moment and put her arms around him, ready for a good time.

Mandy motioned to the dance floor not-so-subtlety. “What do you want?” She cocked her head toward the bar. “I’ll get it for you.” 

“Martini, dry!” Catherine called out as she took Nick’s hand and dragged him toward the floor. “He’ll have a whiskey!”

Mandy watched as they waded into the crowd of people, and danced closely together. Catherine’s hands were very active, and Nick was doing a very good job of not looking guilty. Mandy tried not to let the green jealousy monster surge inside her, but she couldn’t keep it completely caged. She ordered their drinks, and an extra shot for herself that she tossed back before the bartender could even set it down in front of her.

Everyone knew the feelings Catherine had always harbored for Warrick. No doubt she was preparing to show everyone that it wasn’t a big deal that they were out with his new wife. So, in true Catherine style, she had claimed the next Alpha male of the group. 

Before too long the rest of the crew arrived and lined up along the bar, looking for drinks. Some joined the crowd and danced: Warrick with his wife, Greg with Wendy, but Mandy avoided the dance floor and hung back with Archie and Hodges. Everyone moved together with the music, and Catherine was doing her best to encourage Nick’s attention.

“Sure you don’t want to give it a whirl?” Archie asked beside her, pointing to the dance floor.

“Nope,” she replied. “I’m not much of a dancer. I’m a step on the feet sort of gal!” She threw back another shot.

“I have pretty sturdy feet,” Warrick smiled, taking her hand, having overheard her. He’d brought Tina back to the bar and she waved them to the floor, panting and looking for the bartender.

“I’m really not a dancer,” Mandy pleaded, but Warrick insisted and dragged her forward into the people.

“I’ll take care of it,” he added. 

It was surprisingly easy to dance with Warrick, his movements led her in all the right directions to move with the sway around them. He held her close enough to make her feel that she belonged with him, but not so close to make his wife angry.

“How come you aren’t dancin’ with Nick?” Warrick leaned in so she could hear the question.

Warrick had been silent about their relationship, and this was the first he’d said anything to her after that first day when he’d convinced her to give it some thought.

“We can’t,” she replied simply.

“It’s just dancing,” he countered.

“I’m telling you right now dude: if we dance together everyone will know there’s something going on,” she said, sparing a glance for Nick and Catherine who were still grinding and moving, their drinks sitting forgotten on the bar.

“You’ve had a couple drinks right?” Warrick continued to talk in her ear, and though she’d always found him nice to look at, his breath on her just didn’t stir her the way Nick’s did. “You guys have always flirted. Nobody would be surprised to see you guys dancin’ hot and heavy. Just blame it on the booze tomorrow.” Warrick shot her a smile before he lifted his arm and spun her around and back into his arms. She tripped over her own feet on the way back and he caught her easily, setting her back upright.

“Maybe time for a break,” she said, heading back to the bar while he followed close behind.

Warrick joined his wife, casually touching and holding her at the crowded bar.

Mandy ordered another shot and made sure everyone noticed her toss it back in order to fortify her alibi.

“Might wanna slow down on those,” Archie leaned over and warned her kindly.

She nodded in reply, and set the shot glass back onto the bar.

Tina came toward them, and offered everyone her apologies. She had an early shift at the hospital and had to head home. Warrick, obviously upset that she was leaving early, walked her out. He returned a short time later and stood next to Mandy.

“I’ll help you out,” he said, before he pushed off from the bar and made his way to Nick and Catherine. Catherine’s face lit up when Warrick inserted himself between the two of them and wrenched her away from Nick.

Nick pushed his way back to the bar and leaned casually next to Mandy. She handed him his whiskey, and he put it back down. He leaned in toward her. “Are you sure you won’t dance? You were lookin’ pretty good with Warrick.”

“Sure,” she called back, “only live once right? I will step on you at least once.”

Nick nodded and smiled. He took her hand and skirted the floor with her, finding a darker edge of the crowd where they could hide. His hands lightly rested on her hips and they swayed together, their eyes locked together. Catherine was forgotten. She wondered if they were thinking the same thing: everything else forgotten, thinking about getting home and removing the fabric barriers between them. She moved closer to him, the music shifting everyone in the same rhythm, and wanted nothing more than to kiss him and pull him closer. Instead she slipped her hands up around his neck and looked deep into those dark puppy dog eyes. Dancing had never been her forte, so she didn’t need to act drunk to look drunk.

A wave of heat rose up her neck and into her face, but this wasn’t the heat between them, it was something else. She stopped suddenly and let her hands drop, her gaze falling to the floor. A light wave of dizziness crept up into her, tilting the floor underneath her at a sickening angle. Nick stooped to look up into her face.

“You ok Mandy?” He yelled out, genuine concern lighting his features.

She nodded, but couldn’t speak yet.

“Come here,” he grabbed tight around her waist and pulled her back toward the bar, leaning her up against it near the end, Archie on his other side. “Can I get some water?” He yelled at the bartender, who was ignoring them for a large group of rowdy guys down the bar.

“She threw back a couple shots pretty quick,” Archie told Nick.

That’s what it was. She never drank hard liquor, only beer, and it was hitting her pretty hard. She’d been too quick about those shots. Away from the warm press of bodies she was beginning to feel more like herself. Nick shoved a cup of water into her hand and forced her to take a few sips.

“I’ll take you home,” Nick said. He was serious; she could tell he had no motive outside of her well being.

“It’s ok,” she reassured him. “I’m feeling much better.” She stood tall, released the bar, and staggered into the guy next to her before Nick caught her and pulled her back toward him.

“Woah,” the guy turned around and greeted her. “Watch out there honey.”

“It’s fine, just an accident friend,” Nick replied defensively.

“Was it an accident?” The guy asked jovially. He was handsome, obviously drunk, and towered over her, with a wiry tautness to his body. He leaned down on the bar to get closer to her height. “This your boyfriend?” He asked, leaning close to her. She could smell his breath, laced with alcohol.

“Just a friend,” Nick answered again. “But she’s not feeling so well.”

“She looks fine to me,” the guy replied, only looking at Mandy.

“I’m just here with my friends,” she said, finally regaining her breath to speak for herself. “Not interested.”

“I think you are,” he said playfully slipping his finger under the strap of her tank top. The attention was unwelcome, and she slapped his hand away, angry.

His face changed in a second and grew bitter. “You know for a girl that looks like you, you should be grateful for my attention,” he spat. “Lose about ten more pounds and even then you wouldn’t be good enough to reject me. Thought you could use a little pity. Your loss.”

Nick surged up behind her. “Hey asshole!” He called out. Feeling more surefooted now she turned toward him and used her body weight to push him back toward Archie. “You owe the lady an apology!”

“Not her boyfriend eh?” The guy asked, no fear in his voice. “Maybe you can slip her some dick. That’s what she needs.”

Mandy’s head cleared suddenly and her adrenaline shot through the roof. She turned, balled her fists, reached back and punched him as hard as she could in the mouth. The force radiated up through her fingers, into her hand and sent a shocking pain from her wrist up to her elbow. The guy fell away from her into his friends.

Mandy cradled her wrist and shrieked, more in anger than pain. Nick had pushed past her toward the guy, and Warrick was pulling him away.

Minutes later Mandy was sitting on a bench in the cool night air outside the bar, her back up against the building. Her wrist ached anytime she moved any part of her body, so she was attempting to sit as still as possible. Nick emerged from the bar with some supplies from their first aid kit. He made her a splint, and wrapped her arm to keep it from moving until he could get her to the hospital.

“You ever punched anyone before?” He asked as he deftly made the sling to immobilize her arm.

“Can’t say that I have. But he deserved it,” she defended, her voice was a little slurred and she wondered just what her blood alcohol level was.

Nick nodded. “Should’a let me do it,” he said. “I’d feel much better right now. You wouldn’t be hurt and that guy would be on the ground.”

“Oh he was on the ground,” she said. The pain was beginning to move upward and give her a headache.

“He was,” Nick conceded. “It was a pretty good punch. Except for the part where you mighta broken your wrist.”

 

They released her from the hospital after announcing it was just a sprain, and Nick drove her home. He opened the door with the key from her porch that he disapproved of, and she didn’t protest when he didn’t return it to its place outside.

Guiding her to the bedroom, he gently pressed his hand against the small of her back to steer her in the right direction; She was still a little wobbly. After giving her some painkillers with a glass of water he helped her undress.

He would have to have been dead to not be aroused by the sight of her naked body, but each time he glanced back at the brace on her wrist he forgot about all of that and focused on the task at hand.

Once he’d redressed her, he tucked her into bed.

“I’ll let you sleep,” he said as he backed out of the room, and shut the light off.

“Nick?” She called out in the dark. There was no feebleness, or weakness in that call, and he smiled at how tough she was.

“Yup?”

“I would sleep better if you were over here,” she said.

Intending to stay through the night and watch over her anyway, he dropped his jeans to the floor and crawled in next to her in his briefs and t-shirt. Ensuring that he was on the side of her good wrist, he lay back and put his arm around her. She curled up into the side of his body and lay her braced wrist on his chest.

After that he didn’t dare move, afraid that he would jar her injury, and they both fell asleep against each other.

 

In the afternoon, prescriptions and alcohol worn off, Mandy was wakened by the pain in her wrist. It had seeped into her dreams, slowly pulsing stronger and stronger until her brain slowly surfaced back to real life.

Stiff from sleeping the whole night in the same position she slowly stretched out each limb, and cringed at the smallest movements that woke her injury. She sat up in bed, reluctant to move any further, cradling her wrist to her stomach.

Nick stirred next to her. His eyes opened slowly at first, and he looked up at her with a sleepy grin, arms stretching wide. Then he seemed to remember the night before and opened his eyes wide, sitting up next to her. Concern in his eyes, a reassuring hand on her back, he sat next to her.

“How you feelin’?” He asked.

“I need some coffee,” she replied groggily. “Preferably with some bourbon in it. Like, probably a 75/25 mix. Or maybe like 90/10.”

Nick smiled. “Aspirin and a glass of water coming up,” he said, sliding off the bed.

“Or just a coffee cup full of bourbon?” She quipped from the bed.

He returned with the painkiller. “Why bourbon?” He asked.

“Why not?” She replied. “What am I wearing?” She asked, looking down at herself. She was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of dirty sweat pants.

“I just grabbed what was close by,” he replied. “Wasn’t thinkin’ too clear I suppose.”

“What time is it?” She asked.

“About six.”

“Lots of time to get some breakfast before work,” she said, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

Nick knelt down in front of her, preventing her from standing. “That ain’t gonna happen,” he said. “I already talked to Grissom. You’re off tonight.”

“I’m sure that was a great conversation,” she replied. “Mandy punched some dude in the face so she needs the night off.”

“Somethin’ like that,” Nick smiled, and she thought there was a little pride in his voice. “What do you need before I go?”

“You’re on tonight?” She asked, mind still foggy.

He nodded.

“Well if you can make some coffee that would be awesome,” she attempted a smile but guessed that it probably manifested more as a grimace. “And I’m going to have a shower.”

Nick retreated to the kitchen, and before long she smelled the bitter warmth of brewing coffee. Waiting for the drugs to kick in she stayed perched at the edge of the bed. When the pain didn’t recede as she had expected she got up anyway and made her way to the bathroom.

Hot steam fogging up the mirror she began to get undressed, but got frustrated before she’d even gotten her shirt halfway over her head where it got stuck.

“Here let me help you with that,” Nick said. She hadn’t even heard him come in. He pulled the shirt over her head easily.

“I’m an adult, I can undress myself,” she snapped, immediately regretting it. A long sigh escaped her as she tried to calm herself down. She hated feeling vulnerable. Instinctively she put her hands down on the counter and leaned forward. Pain shot up her wrist and she hissed, pulling the damaged appendage back into her stomach.

Nick grabbed her shoulders and turned her gently to face him, but she wouldn’t look up at him. She felt like an idiot. Several idiotic things had piled up one after another to make her feel foolish: she’d drunk way too much at the bar, then punched a guy, and punched him wrong so now she was damaged, and now she was letting herself get worked up and was being stupid.

“Hey Mandy?” He said in that sweet, soft voice of his. “Look at me.”

She narrowed her eyes and looked up at him, still determined to be grumpy. She was expecting some upbeat Nick Stokes pep-talk. Instead he leaned in and kissed her. When he pulled back, he was looking at her with that deep emotion that she’d seen in those eyes days before. It softened her, melting the stubbornness at her core.

“If you could just help me with these,” she started pushing at the sweatpants with her good hand.

He obeyed, sliding the pants down and letting her step out before he tossed the dirty laundry across the hall into her bedroom. Without another word he took her injured wrist and freed it from the brace. The open air felt so good on her skin, but she was afraid to move her hand for fear of the little pains it would bring.

Nick removed his own clothes, and held back the shower curtain for her to step in.

Mandy immediately felt better under the hot water. The heat seemed to loosen all her rusty joints, including her injured one, and massaged all the tightness in her muscles away.

Nick gently ran his fingers through her dirty tangled hair and washed it out. It was something she’d never experienced. No one had ever taken care of her like that before, and it felt like heaven; His strong hands, softly working the soap into her scalp, and wiping the stray suds away from her eyes.

Once the soap was washed away, she opened her eyes and saw only concern for her in his face. It was the first time they’d shared an intimate moment that hadn’t been about sex. Oddly she felt more vulnerable while he washed her than she had when he’d touched the most private places of her body.

Something in that intimacy made her suddenly sentimental, and she took the few steps into his arms. He held her close to his chest, careful for her tender wrist. She kept her face tucked in that perfect place just under his chin, afraid suddenly that she might cry. Keeping one arm wrapped tightly around her, he used his other hand to tilt her face up to his, and he wiped the hair away from her eyes. It was something he did often when they were close, she’d noticed. She was expecting him to kiss her again, but he just watched her.

“You did good sweet pea,” he said with one of those smiles that traveled up to his eyes.

It was a comment meant to provoke her wit, but she was too burnt out for that, and she let it slide.

 

Coffee table littered with snacks, drinks, and the remote, Nick finally left for work. He’d helped her dress in clothes she’d picked out, and she was comfortable and ready for a night of relaxation.

After a while the TV by itself didn’t satisfy. She needed something to distract her mind from the throbbing in her wrist. The pain was receding slowly, but it was still there. Nick had told her the doctor had said it would be tender for a few days. She didn’t remember much about the doctor or the ER.

Mostly because of her fledgling relationship with Nick, her work on the coding project was way behind schedule. They’d want something from her soon, she hadn’t reported anything in weeks. So she stumbled to the office, pulled the file out and returned to the couch.

Spread out in front of her, she was able to sink into the work and try to forget about the fact that she was letting the lab down by being at home because of her own stupidity.

 

Shift over, Nick was exhausted and perplexed. The main problem he’d been faced with in the field since he’d started seeing Mandy was trying to avoid thinking about sex constantly. The Julian Harper case definitely hadn’t helped. But the case he’d just walked away from for the day had him anything but ready for a roll in the hay. The guy had been covered in brutal bite marks that looked like some kind of torture, and that was how he got his kicks. Nick just couldn’t understand it. What was it about sex with some people? Why did they have to complicate things? The simplest things were the best in his opinion. Despite all the things he’d seen working CSI in Vegas, he still just wanted to go home and do things the old fashioned way. He’d never needed more than that.

So even though the case was all about sex, he didn’t leave the lab feeling excited in anyway. It probably helped that he knew he was going home to Mandy and that she was still too injured for any kind of that attention.

Going home to Mandy. As he turned the steering wheel to round a corner, he realized that’s exactly how he felt. It hadn’t been long enough for him to be thinking that way, and instead of exploring why he did, he just flipped his thinking. Not going home; Going to Mandy’s place. He repeated it in his head a few times.

He’d kept the spare key from her porch. Presumptuous, but he didn’t plan to keep it. With her injured, and him coming back to take care of her, he saw it as a necessity. If she’d fallen asleep he didn’t want to wake her. 

He let himself in, and was justified when he found her asleep on the couch, some bad movie playing in the background.

Surrounded by chip bags, water bottles and a half empty coffee cup he moved to start cleaning up when he noticed the file that was spread across the coffee table.

It was the papers he’d noticed the other day, but she’d put them away before he’d had a good look. There was something here, in these photos and pages that had clicked something in his brain before, now he had the chance to take a closer look and find out what that might be.

Careful not to wake her, he knelt down in front of the table and began to look over the pages. Deep down he knew it was wrong, that she’d kept if from him for a reason, but his urge to find out what was hiding in the back of his mind won out.

There were dozens of photos of pages of written symbols. Based on the photos they seemed to be written in all types of different pen, on different papers, but without being able to examine the actual paper he couldn’t be sure. In addition to the photos was a notebook in Mandy’s writing, full of notes on each of the symbols. It looked like she was trying to decipher something. A code?

“What’s up?” Mandy asked groggily through a yawn from behind him on the couch.

Nick jumped guiltily, and almost knocked the notebook off the table. “Nothing,” he said hastily, closing the cover.

“You’re a shitty liar,” Mandy said, yawning again and sitting up on the couch. “Just couldn’t resist eh criminalistics?” Acerbic or angry? He couldn’t tell.

“I came to check on you, and it was all just laid out here,” Nick offered as apology.

“How’d you get in?” She wondered aloud, looking around as though she would see the answer.

“I kept your spare key,” he replied. He was betting she was angry at this point. She hadn’t given him permission. He’d gone too far. “I wanted to check in on you, and I didn’t want to wake you.” He gathered up the garbage around the couch. “Let me just get this out of the way,” he said, looking for a reason to escape. Arms full, he retreated to the kitchen.

“Well, if you’re still sleepy, I can leave you to it,” he said awkwardly as he came back from the kitchen.

Mandy picked up the coffee cup from the floor and sniffed at it. It must have been stone cold, but she threw it back like a shot of whiskey.

“I could make you some fresh…” he trailed off and pointed to the cup.

“Nope I’m good,” she blinked her eyes and shook her head. “Just needed a little pick me up.” As she swung her legs over the couch and planted her feet she winced at the pressure she’d put on her wrist.

Concerned, but not wanting to baby her, he resisted the urge to rush to her side immediately.

“Got everything you need?” He asked, trying not to let the photos on the table draw his eye.

“Dude, sit down for five minutes,” Mandy prompted, patting the couch next to her.

Nick obeyed.

“I would have told you earlier, but I’m not supposed to talk about it,” she started vaguely, motioning to the file. “Ecklie and Grissom know because I had to clear it with them. But that’s it.”

“Clear what?” Nick asked.

“I’m subcontracting for the FBI.”

“Doing what? What is all this stuff?”

“Breaking ciphers,” she replied. “It’s like a hobby, but I get paid.”

“Looking for patterns,” Nick said nodding. That made sense. She’d talked about that when they’d gone star watching. How much she loved the patterns in things.

“It’s supposed to be top-secret,” she said. “Whoops.”

“That’s why you scooped it up the other day.”

“I’m not used to having someone here every day of the week,” she said. “I forgot about it and left it out.”

Was that a jab? Did she not want him here every day of the week? It was the key, he shouldn’t have taken the key.

“Don’t they usually have computers do stuff like this nowadays?” He asked.

“For most things,” she said. “But people are making ciphers that can’t be analyzed by computers. They design them that way.” She picked up one of the photos. “Check this out,” she pointed to one of the symbols. “They make these symbols so they’re too similar and too hard for computers to duplicate.” She handed Nick the picture, picked up her notebook and flipped to a page where she’d drawn several of the symbols. “See, these are all different.”

They all looked the same to him.

“This one has a flourish here that makes it different, on this one the line extends beyond the circle, etcetera,” she said, pointing out several symbols on the page.

Once she pointed it out, he could see the small changes easily.

“That’s the kind of stuff we look for and analyze,” she said. “And once we break it down, then we start to work on the cipher.” She picked up another image, and as soon as Nick laid eyes on it that piece in his brain that had been out of sync clicked into place.

“I need a page from your notebook,” he said, grabbing the book and the pen without waiting for her permission. He flipped to the very back page of the notebook and quickly drew a symbol.

“What’s that?” She asked, peeking over his shoulder.

“I’m not sure yet,” he said, looking at the finished symbol. He kissed her quickly on the cheek and ripped the page from the back of the notebook. “Sorry baby, gotta go,” he said as he jumped up from the couch.

“As long as you’re not on the way to rat me out to the Feds!” She called after him.

 

Nick clutched the note page close, jumped in his SUV and rushed back to the lab. Grissom was still in his office, slouched over paperwork. The sun was pouring in through the windows overhead.

“I’ve got something,” Nick said, sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk, perching himself on the edge and setting the note page in front of Grissom.

“Hey Nick, I thought you’d left,” Grissom said.

“I think I remembered something,” Nick punctuated his sentence by tapping on the symbol he’d drawn. “Does that look familiar to you at all?”

Grissom picked up the page and looked through his glasses at it. “I don’t think so.” He tilted his head to the side, instead of turning the page and continued to stare at it.

“The Bertram Jones case,” Nick continued, “in his personal effects there was a buncha casino chips. One of them was black with a symbol on it I’d never seen before, and no casino logo. I’m pretty sure this is that symbol.”

“Hmm,” Grissom replied noncommittally. “How did this memory happen to return to you?”

Nick thought about Mandy, her secret project, her notes. “I was researching code breaking and found some pictures of ciphers,” he lied, “it jogged my memory.”

“Mmmhmm,” Grissom replied, still staring at the paper. “Bring it to Catherine. She’s still working on the case. She hasn’t finished her final report yet.”

“Will do Griss.”

Nick waited patiently for Grissom to finish with the paper and hand it back to him.

Nabbing a spare sheet of paper from one of the labs, Nick copied the symbol and left it in an envelope for Catherine. Original drawing in hand, he jumped in his SUV and headed for PD.


	7. Revelations and Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick has a break through on a very personal case because of Mandy.
> 
> And more smut.

As soon as Nick was gone, Mandy used a pencil to do a rubbing of the last page of her journal. It revealed the image he’d drawn so hastily into the back of the book. Not something she recognized, but she left the notebook open so she could glance at it once in a while. Sometimes she did that with her ciphers. If you stared at something long enough your brain worked too hard on it. But if you left something off to the side and glanced at it once in a while, while you were doing something else, it would trigger an idea or a connection. So she left it sitting off to the side to see if it was something she could figure out.

She’d been dozing on the couch all night, and knew she’d regret it. It was going to destroy her night shift schedule, and with the sun working against her it always took a million years to get back on it again.

The brace binding her wrist was making her skin itch, and she pulled it off for a few minutes to let the air cool her skin. What an idiot. She knew how to punch better than that. But there had been very little thinking involved in the decision, and a lot of alcohol. Having never verified, she could only hope the asshole had been in pain.

Even the small movements of her wrist were starting to irritate her and she replaced the brace, heading for the kitchen to brew some fresh coffee and find the painkillers. The pain was definitely getting better, more a dull ache now, but she kept the brace on and figured: better safe than sorry.

Nick knew her well enough to leave the bottle of meds right next to the coffee maker. The pot was all ready to brew, she just had to hit the button. He was definitely nice to have around. 

Unintentionally the thought crept into her head: but how long will he stick around? Never mind him, how long until she got scared and backed out? There were a lot of things they didn’t know about each other. Even though they’d been friends before, they’d been very casual friends. Not the kind of friends you tell the deep serious stuff too. How long until something came out that would poison everything?

Mandy shook her head. This was why she sucked at relationships. Just enjoy the moment, don’t think about what might, or might not happen. Let things play out in their own time. It just felt like such a waste when she did that, and then a secret popped up that ruined everything. What a waste of everyone’s time. At least she already knew he was broken. It was what had brought them together.

Even full of coffee she felt drowsy in no time. The painkillers they’d given her at the hospital were knocking her on her ass. She stumbled off to bed, and curled up in her blankets, breathing in the smell of Nick’s aftershave that lingered in her pillows.

 

After Nick’s conversation with Brass he went back to his place and cleaned himself up. He let the shower run cold thinking about what Brass had said: The symbol didn’t look familiar to him, but he’d shop it around the PD and see what he would come up with. Nick had advised that it had to be on the down low because it was Catherine’s case. Brass had agreed. He knew what it was to care about a case, and needing to find answers. He also knew what it meant to get on Catherine’s bad side.

Showered and shaved he put on some fresh clothes and headed for Mandy’s. He didn’t care if she was getting sick of him, he needed to check on her and make sure she was ok. 

He’d stayed at her place almost every night since they’d started seeing each other. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her anymore, but at some point life had to return to normal. The routine he built his life around was grounding, and he did want to feel grounded again, though it was nice to be up in the clouds with Mandy. But he hadn’t been to the gym in at least a week, and there were some things that needed to get back in line. He’d fully expected for their relationship to have slowed down a little, but it was still running full steam ahead. Reluctant to put the brakes on, afraid of the consequences, he just wasn’t sure what to do next.

Pushing the thought from his mind, he pulled up in front of Mandy’s place. At the door, he put the key in and found that the door was unlocked already. Frustrated couldn’t begin to describe it. Why couldn’t she just listen? She worked at the CSI lab for Christ’s sake. How hard was it to lock a door? 

Inside, the coffee table was still strewn with her cipher file, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Nick dropped his jacket on the couch and walked quietly to the bedroom. Her soft breathing filled the air and he suddenly forgot he was mad. Laying on her side, she’d left her glasses on when she’d collapsed into bed, and they were askew on her face.

Carefully he sat on the bed, hoping not to wake her. He brushed the hair back from her eyes, and pulled the glasses from her face, folding them and putting them on the nightstand.

The excitement of his revelation was fading, and exhaustion was seeping in. Leaving his jeans and t-shirt on the floor he crawled into bed behind her and put an arm around her stomach. She curled her body into his in her sleep, her round bottom pushing pleasantly against his hips. 

Why would he ever want this to slow down? Why would he want anything to change?

 

Soft breathing tickled Mandy’s ear, and woke her from a dream she’d really been enjoying. It had involved Nick and had not involved clothing. As she surfaced back to reality, she tried to urge her mind to go back to that place, to pretend that it wasn’t time to wake but it was too late for that. The breath on her ear was too ticklish to ignore, causing her to twitch her head away involuntarily.

Nick’s left arm was heavy around her hip and he held her tightly, their bodies pressed together. She could tell by the deepness of his breathing that he was still asleep.

Taking his left hand in her own, she intertwined their fingers and felt him stir a little behind her, not fully awake yet. Still swimming in the sights, sounds and sensations of her dream, she gently drew his hand downward and slipped it under her clothes, guiding his fingers to the right place.

Nick groaned sleepily behind her, pressing his forehead against the back of her neck as she felt his muscles move and stretch around her. His fingers twitched gently as he surfaced from sleep, but they weren’t quite in the right spot yet. His breath warming the nape of her neck made her body feel electric all over and sent a shiver up her spine.

Leaving his hand where it was, she drew her fingers up his forearm, hoping to rouse him fully from sleep. He groaned again, but this time it wasn’t from sleepiness, and as he came awake so did his fingers, finding the place she’d been hoping for. She arched back against him. His right hand trapped between them, the only grip he had on her was with his left, and he pulled her closer causing a wave of pleasure to travel up her body and wring a moan from her. The noise roused him further, and he pressed himself harder against her, kissing her shoulder and the back of her neck. 

Circling, twitching, the rhythm he’d found with the tips of his fingers pulsed faster and faster until the sounds that came from her were little squeaks between tiny rapid breaths. 

But there was a need in her that even those delicate and wonderful touches couldn’t satiate. She hastily slipped her sweat pants down, wiggling this way and that to free them from between her bottom hip and the bed. The movements were rushed, and she could feel his excitement building as she finally slipped them down to her knees, but he didn’t stop his attentions. 

The pulsing in her wanted more, needed more. She reached back and clawed at the boxer briefs he’d worn to bed, performing the same hasty slipping and sliding to get them down low enough. He didn’t help remove them, but instead kept his fingers occupied with her excitement, distracting her with each grasping, needy touch.

Once their clothes had been removed she tipped her hips back and arched against him, but he still didn’t take the hint, or maybe he did and wanted to torture her a bit longer. Either way she wasn’t in the mood to be denied and took matters, amongst other things, into her own hands. She reached down between their bodies and guided him to where she wanted him. As their bodies slid together, he let out a ragged sigh against her back and stopped kissing her. 

For a moment they stayed like that, frozen against each other, not moving at all. His fingers had stilled. Her hand rested on his hip. Her upper body was leaned away from him to give him better access. Frozen in a perfect moment, she could have held onto that feeling forever. But the heat between them wouldn’t be stilled, and he slipped his trapped right arm underneath her waist, curling it around to splay his hand across her chest and pull her tightly against him. His left hand resumed between her legs, teasing new noises from her as the rest of his body moved slowly but purposefully against her, building a different sensation at the same time. Pressed so close together, he ceased his kisses and instead rested his cheek against hers, holding her so close.

With his hands wrapped around her body, his body pressed against her back she felt trapped, but not in a frightening way. It was as though she were being swallowed by a warm and wonderful sensation that was dragging her down into sweet depths.

The position they writhed in, combined with the state of arousal she’d already been in when she’d woken up were the perfect storm. Instead of feeling this pleasure in every pore of her skin like she had before, this time it was focused in one area and it felt like the wave was building and building but would never break. The sensations became so intense that she felt tears creep from her eyes at the sheer overwhelming looming press of release. She bucked her hips in time with his, hoping to bring about the end, which in turn spurred him on. As he moved more purposefully, more quickly against her, his breathing became a rhythmic animal sound that only caused her more excitement.

When she finally broke, she felt like she was really broken. Her body seized so violently she actually slipped away from Nick, though his right arm was able to stay wrapped under her and keep her from rolling off the bed. The sound that erupted from her throat started as his name but rolled out into a loud moan that gradually subsided.

Nick pulled her tightly back to his chest, but didn’t seek to finish his own pleasure, only held her. He pecked small kisses at her ear and neck.

Glad she hadn’t been facing him, she tried to subtly wipe the tears from her face. That was something she’d never felt before. Sex had never been so intense that it caused her to cry.

Once the sharp pleasure in her seeped away, she rolled over to face him. His warm brown eyes were still full of fire. He hadn’t had his fill yet.  
Reluctant to kiss him with her morning breath, she pushed away from him and forced him to roll onto his back. Climbing on top of him was difficult without leaning on the braced wrist that she was trying to avoid.

His eyes widened when they registered the brace, and she could tell that in his half-sleeping half-aroused state he’d forgotten about it. “It’s alright,” he said. “We don’t have to-”

“But I really want to,” she interrupted, surprised at the craving in her own voice.

Instead of staying on his back, he rose to his knees, and set her in his lap so she could wrap herself around him and wouldn’t have to put any pressure on her hands. Arms around his neck, his around her back, she could smell him all around her.

Letting her body take control, she gave her muscles free reign to do what they wanted. Her body knew exactly what it was doing. At each tilt of her hips their bodies collided and sent ripples and flickers of tickling pleasure upward.

Nick’s hands held her close, but moved around restlessly as he lost more and more control over himself. One hand would brace her back, and then slide downward to grip her hip tightly, only to migrate back up to hold behind her neck and pull her in for a hurried kiss.

“Oh God Mandy,” he breathed into her shoulder as she quickened the movement of her hips against his.

Just as she knew he was reaching the end, she pulled back and held his face in her hands. She loved the vulnerable look that knit his brows and stiffened his muscles when he climaxed. 

Finished, Nick put his forehead to her own and they rested like that for a few minutes, until they peeled their sticky bodies apart.

It wasn’t until they were in the shower, washing away the sweat and soaking her wrist in the heat that she realized they hadn’t used a condom. The thought went through her like a shot of lightning, but she wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it.

 

Sitting in Mandy’s back yard, Nick closed his eyes to the late afternoon sun and dug his toes into the warm grass.

“Are you gonna tell me why you rushed out of here like you were on fire this morning?” Mandy asked.

Comfortable and relaxed, the warm sun pressing red on his closed eye lids, he reluctantly opened them.

Mandy lounged in a lawn chair, legs stretched out in front of her, shorts baring her pale skin.

“I was plannin’ to tell you when I got up, but your wake up call was very distractin’,” he grinned.

“You think the wake up call is something, you should order the room service,” she joked, raising her eyebrows. “But for real dude, what was that all about?”

Nick sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “When they brought that kid in, I got a peek at his personal effects before they were stolen. He had a pocketful of poker chips from all over town: Tangiers, Bellagio, Rampart, the usual. But he had one chip with no casino imprint, and no dollar amount printed on it. Just a symbol.”

Mandy sat forward, on the edge of her seat, excited. Definitely a girl after his own heart: curious about the mystery, just like he was. It wasn’t just a job to her, just like it wasn’t just a job to him. If it was, she wouldn’t be doing subcontracting for the government in her spare time, and they wouldn’t be discussing a case on their downtime.

“Something about your symbols jogged my memory,” he finished.

“So you went back to the lab with it,” she concluded.

Nick nodded. “Left a copy for Catherine like a good boy, and snuck one to Brass to dig into for me.” He pointed at her, affecting a serious tone. “That part’s secret. Catherine doesn’t know about that.”

“Then you shouldn’t have told me,” Mandy admitted, sitting back in her seat. “You know I can’t keep my mouth shut, and I’m already holding in one ridiculous gigantic secret.”

“Speaking of things you can’t keep shut,” Nick began seriously, but trailed off when Mandy began to spread her legs suggestively. “I was thinkin’ more like your front door,” he finished, trying to keep the smile from his face and failing miserably. “It was unlocked when I got back.” He’d almost said: “when I got home,” but had stopped himself in time.

Mandy rolled her eyes at him, and waved away his concern.

“I’m serious now,” he replied to her eye roll. “You work in the crime lab. You know the kinda things that happen to people. Specifically young women who live alone. And this ain’t a great neighborhood ya know.”

Mandy leaned forward on her knees conspiratorially, leaning more on her left arm to take the weight off of her injured one. Sitting side-by-side they were close, knees almost touching. “Ok. Let’s play the criminalistics game,” she whispered. “The only person in or out of my house today… was you. As the last person to leave, that puts you at fault for the mysterious unlocked door CSI Stokes.” Dramatically she tacked on: “Bam! Case closed.”

Sure, he’d been in a hurry with his revelation, but enough of a hurry to forget to lock the door? Thinking back he remembered slamming the door behind him, but not turning around to lock up. He’d been too excited.

“Shit,” he exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry Mandy. I was so damn excited-”

“It’s cool. You were the one who was upset about it,” she said, and then added: “I’m sure you can think of a way to make it up to me.”

“I thought you said it was cool,” he smiled and shot her a wink.

“You know, I think if we didn’t have the most badass jobs we would never leave my bed room,” she said softly, leaning even closer to him so their arms were pressed together. Her soft skin was pleasantly warm from the sun.

There was still plenty of time before work. He took her face in his hand, his fingers tangling in the hair behind her ear and pulled her in to kiss her gently. Soft kisses that started innocently; Little pecks that began to linger longer and longer each time until she opened up to him and he tasted her. Just kissing her was pleasurable enough that he could have done it for hours. Those full lips brushing against his, the sweet taste of her breath, and the way her hands circled his neck and ran up into his hair, tickling his scalp. He kissed her without even a thought for stopping to breathe.

As he was wondering if it was a good idea to pull her into his lap, his cell phone rang.

Nick pulled back. Mandy bit his bottom lip and sucked on it a little as he backed off, finally releasing it with a growl that excited him even more. He planted one final kiss on her wet lips before he answered the call.

“Stokes,” he put on his professional voice, trying to shrug off his arousal.

Mandy went back to reclining in her chair and stretching her feet into the grass. She wore a tight purple tank top and her shorts were pulled up for maximum sun exposure. There was very little being left to his imagination. After two weeks he still couldn’t temper his lust for her, and it made it hard for him to focus on much of anything else when she was around. At least at work she wore that damn lab coat.

“Hey Nick, it’s Brass. Thought I would drop you an update on that pretty drawing you left me.”

“I appreciate it Jim, what you got?”

“Well everybody at PD has clammed up. Nobody’s talking on this thing,” Brass replied. “All they’ll say is they don’t know anything about. Somebody knows something though, I’ve spotted a few liars, but I don’t wanna lean on the boys too hard.”

“I get you,” Nick said. He stood up and walked away from Mandy, turning his back on her to keep from being distracted. “What’s your plan then?”

“I’ve got some ideas,” Brass replied cryptically. “You just leave it to me. But we mighta tipped off the wrong people on this one, so keep your eyes open.”

“Alright Jim, thanks,” Nick replied before hanging up.

“Was that news on your squiggle?” Mandy asked.

“Hmm?” Nick asked, mind racing a few different ways, staring at the garden box he’d built. If some of the cops knew about it, that meant they were probably being paid to look the other way about something. What did that mean? An illegal gambling ring? What else would they use chips for?

“Your squiggle,” Mandy clarified, “the symbol you drew?”

“Yeah,” Nick replied. “Brass hasn’t got anything yet.”

“Then why’d he call?” Mandy asked.

“You sure ask a lotta questions Mandy Webster,” he said.

“Well, you had your thinking face on, so I thought he must have given you something,” she said.

“My thinkin’ face?” Nick replied with a smile. “Now, what exactly does my thinkin’ face look like?”

“You kinda look angry,” she replied. “When I first started at the lab I thought you didn’t like me because whenever you get really into one of your experiments you look pissed off.”

“I guess it depends on what I’m thinkin’ ‘bout,” he replied and returned to sit beside her. “See, right now I’m thinkin’. Can you guess about what?” Pushing aside thoughts about the case that he couldn’t do anything about, he began to imagine getting Mandy back to bed. Pulling her shorts down, tasting the sun on her skin, touching and teasing.

Mandy sat forward and kissed him again, but there was urgency in it this time, and she climbed into his lap without any direction from him, seeming to read his mind.

 

Mandy had agreed reluctantly not to return her spare key to the front step of her house. It really bothered Nick that she would leave it out there for anyone to find. He’d given it back to her, now that she was fighting fit again, with the stipulation that she hand it off to Gabe directly. It didn’t bother her, nobody else needed to get into the house, except Nick of course. But he only came to visit when she was home anyway.

Catherine ducked into the print lab.

“Mandy, I’m closing the Bertram Jones case,” she said, “can you make those additions to your report that I requested?”

“No problem,” Mandy replied, “I just have to finish running these prints for Greg first.”

“Before end of shift is fine,” Catherine said.

“Does that mean you caught the guy?” Mandy asked, trying not to seem more interested than should have if she wasn’t dating Nick.

Catherine sighed and walked further into the lab, resting her hands on the desk, and shaking her head. “Not this time,” she said. “Even with the print you assembled we just don’t have anything to go on. The guy’s not in the system, and he hasn’t been brought in for anything. And there was nothing else at the scene to go on. Unsolved this time.”

Nick would not be happy. Knowing he’d given a copy of the symbol to Catherine, Mandy almost asked about it without thinking. She was the print tech, she wouldn’t know about the symbol. But it must have given them more to go on, something else to look into. Mandy kept her mouth shut.

“Nick won’t be happy,” Mandy said.

“Nick’s a big boy, he’ll be just fine,” Catherine said possessively before she walked out into the hall.

Her and Catherine were like water and oil. It wasn’t like there was a volatile chemical reaction or anything, but they would just never mix. 

Mandy sat staring at her screen for twenty minutes trying to decide if she should text Nick and give him the bad news, or let Catherine deliver it. In the end she decided to let it play out like it would have if they weren’t seeing each other and she ran Greg’s prints before finishing Catherine’s report.

Finished with the report she took a Pop Tart break and found Warrick eating alone in the break room, looking through a file.

“Hey Warrick,” she said, sitting down across from him, juggling hot pastries in her hands. “Whacha workin’ on?”

“Mandy,” Warrick greeted as though surprised to find her sitting there as he looked up from his work.

“Need any prints run?” She asked, eyeing his paperwork.

“Slow night?” He asked with a smile.

“Man, you know it.”

“I got nothin’,” he replied. “Checkin’ over some stuff for Sara. She needed a second set of eyes. It’s been a slow night all around.”

Mandy pouted a little.

Warrick leaned across the table toward her. “You been good?” He asked. “Everything goin’ good? Cause it seems like everything’s goin’ good.”

“I’m good,” Mandy said with a smile.

Warrick smiled kindly and nodded his head. “Good. I’m glad everything’s good. Nick seems good too.”

“I’m pretty sure if you say the word ‘good’ one more time it’s going to lose all meaning for me,” Mandy teased.

“Well I’ll just leave it at that then,” he replied, still smiling.

“Glad we could have this awkward little talk,” Mandy returned his smile, stuffed the last of her snack into her mouth, and headed back to the print lab.

 

The scene was brutal. Blood everywhere. The parents had found their kid in his room alone. He looked like he was about sixteen. 

Nick had gotten the call around 6 AM, just when he was starting to pack his things up and get ready to go home for the day.

“Whaddya got Super Dave?” Nick asked David who was leaned over the body. Slow night for everyone, the coroner had beat him to the scene.

“Through and through in the cheek,” David replied, “looks like it nicked the angular artery.”

“Explains all the blood,” Nick said, snapping photos of the blood pool and surrounding smears on the carpet. “Doesn’t look like he made it very far.”

“It wouldn’t have taken long for him to bleed out,” David replied.

“Through and through?” Nick said, thinking aloud. “You thinking gun shot?”

“I’m not sure,” David said. “But there’s no residue around the wound, and no other damage inside the mouth. He could have been stabbed.”

“No damage inside the mouth means the bullet didn’t go through the cheek, but no residue inside means the gun wasn’t inside his mouth,” Nick thought aloud.

Once David had finished, Nick processed the body before they took it back to the morgue, and then he started on the room and the rest of the house. It was going to be a long morning.

 

“When was the last time you saw your son Trevor?” Nick asked the parents of the boy standing in the living room of their house.

“Last night,” the father answered. The mother was too distraught to answer any questions.

“About what time?” Nick asked.

“I guess about nine,” the father answered, voice wavering. “His girlfriend Cassie was over studying.”

“She’s not his girlfriend!” The mother burst out through tears.

“This Cassie,” Nick said. “What time did she leave?”

“I don’t know,” the father replied.

“Would she still have been here between ten and eleven?”

“Maybe, I don’t know.”

“Does this Cassie have a last name? Where could I find her?”

“Cassie Babcock,” the father replied again, “she lives two blocks over. I can get her address.”

The mother began to sob, her shoulders shaking.

“Ok, ok,” Nick soothed. “If you could get me that address I’d sure appreciate it.”

 

Mandy sat in the locker room feeling foolish. She’d waited for at least a half hour for Nick to come back from his last call out. He still wasn’t back. She wasn’t this girl. And they’d only been dating a few weeks. She wasn’t going to sit around and wait. Nick worked overtime all the time, he’d probably be out all morning. Especially since he’d been called out right near the end of shift. Always one to follow through on everything he did, he probably wouldn’t rest until he’d processed the scene and the initial evidence. If it was an interesting enough scene he’d probably work until he couldn’t see straight before handing it off to day shift.

“Hey Mandy,” Sara greeted, coming in to grab her things and leave for the day.

“Oh hey Sara,” she returned. “I was just getting ready to head out.”

“Big plans for the day?” Sara asked, opening her locker and grabbing her civvies.

“I don’t. I don’t have any plans actually,” Mandy said. She realized suddenly that she hadn’t been making any plans lately. Her plans all revolved around probably spending each and every day with Nick, unless they didn’t share a day off. It seemed really sad to her all of a sudden. Maybe she needed to get life back on track, fall back into her old routines.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Sara replied, sitting down on the bench next to Mandy. “I’m a total shut in. I hate making plans.”

Silence stretched between them.

“How’s your wrist?” Sara asked.

“Much better.”

“I heard about what happened. What a jerk. Warrick said Nick tried to knock him out,” Sara said knowingly.

“He’s very chivalrous that Nick,” Mandy replied. “But I beat him to it.”

Sara smiled wide. “He’s a good guy,” she said. “He’s got a good heart.”

Mandy nodded her agreement and decided that good heart or no she wasn’t going to wait around for him. She was also getting tired of Sara’s not so subtle fishing. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you,” Sara said.

 

Cassie Babcock’s house was a nice upper middle class home in a nice neighborhood. The doorbell dinged deep in the house when he rang it.

A tired-looking woman answered the door. Maybe late 30’s, her eyes were hollow.

“Hello ma’am,” Nick greeted, sneaking glances behind her into the house, “Are you Mrs. Babcock?”

The woman nodded. “Yes, I’m Alice Babcock, what’s this about?” She looked over Nick’s shoulder at the police car parked out front, and the officer standing behind Nick.

“Is Cassie Babcock your daughter?” Nick asked.

“Yes. What’s this about?” She was beginning to get suspicious, her words clipped.

“I really would like to speak with your daughter Cassie, if she’s home,” Nick replied.

Nick waited in the living room while Mrs. Babcock fetched her daughter. Juxtaposition to the house they were in, not a thing out of place, Cassie was dressed in all black, sported several facial piercings and had a mop full of black hair in complete disarray. The girl also looked upset, and Nick knew immediately that she already knew what he was about to tell her.

“Cassie, do you know Trevor Campbell?” Nick asked, softly.

The girl’s lip quivered, and she nodded.

“Were you at his house last night?”

Another nod.

“Well, sometime between ten thirty and eleven last night Trevor died. Would you happen to know anything about what happened?”

Cassie’s shoulders shuddered, her eyes widened, and she shook her head.

“Trevor’s dead?” Her mother blurted out.

Nick nodded to her, but returned his attention to Cassie. “He had a facial wound that caused him to bleed out.”

Cassie’s lip quivered again and tears flowed down her cheeks. The tears were diverted on either cheek by a silver ball that was nestled into her dimples there: a piercing Nick had seen before. The placement was the same as Trevor’s wound. Things were starting to fall into place.

“You can’t think Cassie has anything to do with this?” The mother asked.

“We think she was the last person to see him alive,” Nick said. “Cassie, I’m going to need to see the shoes you wore last night.” There had been impressions in the blood, and he was almost a hundred percent sure they would be hers.

“Cassie?” Her mother hysterically asked. “You didn’t have anything to do with this? Cassie? You answer me.”

The girl just kept her head down and shook all over, tears silently coursing down her cheeks.

 

The girl was in an interrogation room at the LVPD, waiting for Nick and Sofia. Huddled in her chair, Nick wanted to put the girl at ease. They had dug through her room and found the evidence they needed, and he knew that whatever had happened hadn’t been intentional. It was a sad one.

“Listen Cassie,” Sofia started, “we know you didn’t mean to do it.” Nick let her take the lead because he thought the girl would respond better to a woman. “We found the supplies in your room and we tested them for blood. They have traces of Trevor’s blood on them. And your sneakers match the shoe prints we found in the blood in his room.”

“Just tell us what happened Cassie,” Nick pleaded. “We can’t help you if we don’t know what happened.”

“It’s his mother’s fault,” Cassie blurted out. “If she had just let him do it, then this wouldn’t have happened.”

“He wanted a piercing,” Sofia led the girl, “but his parents wouldn’t let him have one.”

“So he asked…” she faltered and gritted her teeth before she continued. “He asked me to do it. I’ve seen them do it at the studio, like, a thousand times. And I did my own.”

“But once you put the needle in, and then all that blood started coming out,” Nick continued, “you didn’t know what to do.”

“It happened so fast,” the girl sobbed. “It seemed like seconds. And there was so much blood.”

“That needle hit an artery,” Nick said. “Every time his heart beat it pushed the blood straight out.”

The girl continued to shake and sob.

Nick shook his head. The poor girl. Just doing what her best friend had asked her to do and now he was dead because of it. Nick looked over to Sofia, asking silently if she had it under control. She nodded, and he stood up quietly and left.

Now for the parents. They were sitting in the hall, waiting for resolution. Nick sat down next to them.

Nick explained what had happened, and why their son was in a fridge in the morgue. He tried to be kind to Cassie, but it was her fault, and the mother obviously didn’t like the girl.

“I told him no,” the mother said. “He asked me to get a piercing and I told him no. You’re telling me that my son is dead because I told him no?”

Nick couldn’t confirm that, wouldn’t confirm that. So he shook his head. “People make their own decisions Mrs. Campbell. This isn’t your fault.”

She sneered at him. “Yes it is,” she said bitterly, before turning away from him and sinking into her husband’s embrace.

 

Nick sat at the steering wheel of his SUV for too long before he realized that he’d just been sitting there staring. 

Autopilot kicked in as soon as he pulled out of the parking lot, and he headed for Mandy’s place. It was already mid-afternoon, she’d be asleep, and he didn’t care. There wasn’t any other place he wanted to be but asleep in bed with her. 

Each block that rolled by brought with it more and more sleepiness and exhaustion so that by the time he reached her block he thought he’d fall asleep at the wheel.

When he got to the door he knocked loudly, hoping to wake her up. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if she didn’t answer the door, fall asleep on her front step maybe. When no one came to the door, he knocked again, louder. Maybe she’d gone out to do something. He wasn’t her life. They hadn’t been dating long enough for that. The third time he knocked it was rushed and sounded desperate and needy to his own ears.

The lock clicked and the door opened. Mandy yawned at him from inside. Wearing nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of underwear she held her door wide open to the neighborhood.

“Hey Tex,” she said through a second yawn.

The oversized t-shirt she wore was his own, one that he’d left behind a few days before when he’d brought a change of clothes over. The idea of her wearing his shirt was touching to him, and with no concern for what the neighbors might think he stepped over the threshold, grabbed her around the waist, picked her up and hugged her tightly to him without closing the door behind him.

“Hey sweet pea,” he greeted her with a smile as he set her down, and then closed and locked the door behind him.

She made a face. “Are we really at the cutesy nickname phase already?”

“I think we might just be,” he replied. As their easy banter began the heaviness of the shift fell away and he was able to leave it all behind. He pulled her into another hug, and breathed in the scent of her, sucking it deep into his chest like a drug.

“Long day?” She asked, her voice serious, into his ear.

“Long day,” he confirmed. “All I wanna do is sleep.”

They disentangled themselves and Mandy walked back toward the bedroom.

“I would like to point out that I was already asleep,” she said.


	8. Perro Malo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lead on Nick's case takes him closer to home than he'd like.
> 
> Sorry... no smut in this chapter... Next chapter though!

The break room was empty, except for Nick and Mandy who were sharing lunch and watching sports highlights.

Mandy was so glad they could still keep their tradition going. If Nick told her they had to cancel their occasional lunch dates for the sake of keeping their relationship secret she would have broken up with him on the spot. Maybe that was a bit extreme, but not by much.

“I know I’m beatin’ a dead horse here, but you really need to be more careful when you open your front door,” Nick scolded her.

“I’m sorry,” Mandy started, keeping her voice quiet to avoid anyone overhearing, “are you talking about when I let you in this afternoon? When you showed up at my house while I was asleep? And pounded on my door until I stumbled out of bed and let you in? Is that what we’re talking about?” The sarcasm was not subtle. “Would you have rather I hadn’t let you in?”

“You can’t just throw your door open like that when you’re half naked without checking to see who it is,” Nick replied, also keeping his voice low.

“I can do whatever I want in my house,” Mandy said, sitting back in her chair and focusing on the TV. She wasn’t angry, but she didn’t want to be treated like a helpless little girl either.

Nick sat back grumpily in his chair.

“Hey,” Warrick greeted as he came in to snag some coffee. “Watchin’ highlights?”

Nick mumbled a reply.

“Cowboys did pretty good this week,” Warrick added. “Your boy Bledsoe is on fire.”

“It’s our year,” Nick replied, perking up, “I can feel it.”

“You keep dreamin’ there Nicky,” Warrick laughed. “Mandy’s got a good shot at it though. Seahawks are lookin’ good this year.”

“Damn right!” Mandy replied, pumping her fist in the air. “In it to win it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick waved away her excitement, but shot a smile her way.

“Back to the grind,” Warrick sighed and left them alone again.

“Dude!” Mandy exclaimed suddenly, turning toward Nick. “Morse code!”

Nick turned around as though looking for someone else behind him. “I’m sorry, are you talkin’ to me?” He asked.

Mandy rolled her eyes. “Who else?”

“Ok,” he nodded, “but that kinda came outta nowhere. Morse code?”

“We’re totally going to have a secret knock,” she giggled.

“You mean… like at a clubhouse?” He was trying not to smile, and the corners of mouth were tight.

“Totally! Just like at a clubhouse! So awesome! That way I’ll always know it’s you.”

Nick smiled and nodded. “We don’t need a secret knock,” he said quietly. “Just check your damn windows before you open your door.”

“Oh come on,” she begged, “this is so much more fun.”

“Like a ten year old kid, you want me to use a secret knock?” He sighed.

“Let’s make a deal: we’ll have an epic super awesome secret knock, and you can call me sweet pea all you like,” she said.

“You gonna stick to that?” Nick asked. “You won’t complain?”

“I reserve the right to eye rolls, but I won’t say a thing,” she promised.

Nick leaned his elbows on the table. “Alright, lay it on me,” he said. “You’ll have to catch me up on my Morse Code though.”

“It’s going to be really simple,” she said, “we’ll just use “NS” and then I’ll know it’s you. One long and four short.” She knocked it out on the table. “Simple.”

“Of course you know Morse Code,” he replied, “just one’a those things you use all the time I suppose?” He copied the knocks she had demonstrated.

“It’s all about patterns,” she replied. “Give it to me one more time.”

Nick performed as told.

“Perfect. Now, no more worried Nick,” she said, sitting back in her chair again.

“You know it, sweet pea,” he said quietly. “So that means you’re gonna check when someone doesn’t use the special knock right?”

Mandy nodded, and bit her cheek to keep from smiling as she returned her attention to the TV.

“And you know,” Nick added, his voice low, “girls ain’t traditionally allowed in the club house.”

Mandy had narrowed her eyes and was forming a retort when a voice called out through the lab.

“Nick!” Catherine’s voice echoed down the halls. It wasn’t a happy voice. “Nick!”

“She sounds pissed,” Mandy whispered.

 

It was a good indication that Catherine was mad at him if she wasn’t calling him Nicky. Also, walking through the whole lab and yelling out his name was a good indicator too.

“I better…” Nick waved toward the noise Catherine was making.

“Get going,” Mandy said, “I’ll clean all this up.”

Nick got out of his seat and didn’t even reach the hall when Catherine came around the corner.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She asked, striding up to him. For such a small women she could be quite intimidating and he backed up toward the wall, hands up.

“Having some lunch,” he replied, and knew it was the wrong answer immediately when the anger in her eyes spiked, and he saw Mandy cringe out of the corner of his eye.

Catherine ignored him and barreled through what she’d planned to say. “You were pulled off my case Nick. I told you right to your face to leave it alone and you didn’t listen. Why am I not surprised?”

“What case? What are you-”

Catherine flung a piece of paper in his face and it almost fluttered to the floor before he caught it. Holding it up he realized it was the drawing of the symbol that he’d given to Brass. 

“You gonna keep pretending that you don’t know what I’m talking about?” Catherine challenged him.

“Catherine?” Grissom’s stern voice followed him around a corner. “What’s going on?”

“I can tell you what’s going on, Nick doesn’t do what he’s told,” Catherine didn’t take her eyes off Nick’s.

His anger and frustration surged at that comment. “Hey now,” he countered, “I don’t think you should be pushin’ me on this Catherine.”

“Was that a threat?” Catherine asked, her eyes growing wider.

“Both of you. My office. Now,” Grissom commanded. He didn’t wait in the hall to see if they would follow, just strode in the direction of his office.

The politeness engrained in Nick allowed Catherine to lead the way. Once inside with the door closed, Grissom just looked up at them with raised eyebrows, waiting for someone else to start.

“We both told Nick to stay off the Bertram Jones case and he doesn’t listen,” Catherine huffed. “I got this off Brass. He’s been digging into it.” She ripped the drawing from Nick’s fingers and threw it onto Grissom’s desk. “And I didn’t give it to him.”

“This is the symbol you showed me the other day,” Grissom said to Nick.

Nick just nodded, afraid of what he might say if he opened his mouth.

“I told you to give this to Catherine,” Grissom chided.

“And I did,” Nick tried to defend himself even though he knew it was a losing battle. “But I wanted to get a jump start on this and I brought it to Brass at the same time. Just tryin’ to be helpful. We all want the same thing right? To bring this guy in?”

“That’s not what this is about Nick!” Catherine fumed. “You can’t take orders! You can’t do what you’re told! Maybe you do need a babysitter.”

“Alright, alright,” Grissom mediated. “I understand this case is important to you Nick. But I asked you to let it go. Catherine’s right, you should have let her handle it.”

“But Griss, I talked to Brass this morning and she didn’t even bring it to him,” Nick pleaded. “And now she’s closing the case unsolved.”

“As the lead that’s her decision,” Grissom said. “I looked over the file Nick, and I approved the work.”

Nick put his hands on his hips the way he did when he was really angry, and turned away from the two of them, his breathing quickened with his anger.

“Listen Nick,” Catherine’s voice had softened. “I know you’ve been through a lot these last few months, but you’ve gotta get your head back in the game. Part of the game is playing with the team, not against it.”

“So, what now?” Nick asked, still turned away. “You gonna write me up?”

“No,” Grissom said quietly. “Just focus on the cases in front of you. And when I tell you to walk away, you need to walk away.”

“Fine,” Nick barked, still fuming.

“Greg just got called out on a 419A in Summerlin,” Grissom said. “He could use a hand.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick muttered as he stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

More than anything, he hated being made a fool of, and Catherine was great at making a fool of him. She knew just which buttons to push to get a rise out of him. He loved Catherine, but she was moody as all hell and it seemed like it was getting easier all the time to get on her bad side.

 

The drowning case in Summerlin was a slam-dunk suicide, but they’d gotten the call so late on shift that Nick had worked past noon again. You didn’t just hand over a case when it was almost done. Greg had stayed even later than Nick to finish up the report.

The batting cages were empty, and Nick zoned out and hit ball after ball into the netting. Each crack of the bat soothing his anger a little. When he was finished, his arms ached and his fingers were numb, but he hadn’t been able to completely extinguish the fire in his chest.

Back at his place, he couldn’t help but feel closed in, and a tightness built up in his chest. The place he’d once called home seemed to have so many bad memories tied to it that he couldn’t breathe in it anymore.

Still angry, still hurt, and sore all over from the batting cages, he didn’t want to bring all that with him to Mandy’s. Instead, he took a shower, cleaned himself up, and then collapsed into his own bed, exhausted and ready to sleep.

 

Earthy smells. Clammy skin. Hot bright light. Darkness. Stuffy wet dampness. Hard walls all around.

Nick sat up in bed with a shout, fully expecting to hit his head on the top of a Plexiglas coffin. Breath was coming fast and short, and he felt like he was choking on the oxygen he was taking in. He tented his knees, and put his head between them, trying to take deep breaths. 

He thought about Mandy and found it calming. The way her hair always fell into her face. The glasses that made her look like a bit of a nerd, and hid her expression sometimes. The clingy tank tops she wore under her loose work clothes. His breathing evened out and his head started to clear.

He looked at the clock: 9:30 PM. He’d slept too late. No time to meet up with her before work.

Sleeping in his own house wasn’t working anymore. Every night he’d stayed in his own bed he woke up from nightmares. Something had to change.

 

Mandy also found it hard to sleep. Not just because she was getting used to having Nick snuggled up against her, but because she was worried about him. After Catherine had chewed him out at the lab, he’d been sent off on a call and she hadn’t seen him for the rest of the night. After work he hadn’t called or texted either. She didn’t want to crowd him, but she was worried, and since it was her night off she wouldn’t be seeing him at the lab.

Tired of second guessing herself, she simply sent the text she wanted to send: You alright?

It was late, he’d be at work by now, and he replied almost immediately: Long day. See you after shift?

I’ll be home, she typed.

Laying her work out in front of her she got her laptop from the office and started on her cipher report. She’d found variations in some of the symbols that had helped her theorize some of the uses. Also: the orientation of the symbols seemed to be part of the cipher, and she had isolated several different positions of the same symbol. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for her to send in. The government always wanted to see progress, no matter how small.

Time flew as she worked on the report, editing the photos and copying the important ones into the text as examples. Before she knew it, the sky was beginning to get light in anticipation of sunrise.

A knock at the door startled her out of her typing. So close to being finished she was frustrated at the interruption, and checked the time. Only 5:48 AM. Couldn’t be Nick, he was still on shift until 7:00 AM. And it was a normal knock, no Morse Code.

Cursing herself for letting Nick get into her head, she went up on tiptoes to check out the window instead of simply opening the door like she would have before. Gabe was standing on her porch. She opened the door and greeted him with a wide smile.

“Hey Mandy,” Gabe said, returning her smile. 

“What’s up dude?” She asked.

“I won’t have time to come by after school,” he said. “So I thought I could come water the yard for you now?”

“Totally,” Mandy let him in and locked the door behind them. Not that she was mad that Nick was getting into her head about her home security, but she hated being told what to do. He was right, it wasn’t safe for her to be so careless.

“I just have some work to finish up,” Mandy said, motioning to her computer. “But if you finish up quick we’ll probably have some time for a quick football game.”

“On it,” Gabe replied and raced into the backyard.

Mandy had just finished typing the last line of her report, and hadn’t had time to send it yet, when Gabe came back into the house.

“You’ve gotta work on your day off?” He asked, flopping onto the couch next to her.

“Yeah,” she said, “but I like this stuff. It’s fun.”

“Doesn’t look so fun to me,” he replied, scanning over her photos.

Even though he was just a 14 year old kid, she gathered the photos into her file folder and tucked it under her notebook in the corner. Then she got up and switched her TV over to the PlayStation, grabbing the two game controllers from and tossing one to Gabe.

But Gabe missed the toss, and the controller bounced off of the couch and landed with a crack on the floor. He was staring at her notebook. “What’s that?” He asked, pointing to the rubbing she’d made of Nick’s drawing. “Where’s that from?”

 

Shift was almost over, and Nick was working on paperwork in the break room surrounded by Warrick, Greg and Sara. Everyone had just about finished up what they were working on and were scheduled to leave on time. At this point, they were just crossing their fingers that another call didn’t come in just in time to be annoying. 

Greg and Sara were flirting, as per usual, while Warrick and Nick added the occasional comment to keep it interesting for Greg.

Nick’s phone rang, and he hung his head as he grabbed the phone from his belt.

Warrick laughed and pointed in Nick’s direction. “I knew it’d be you,” he taunted, implying that Nick was getting a callout for a case at the last second.

Nick checked the screen before he picked up. It was Mandy. He hesitated for a second, before he answered the call. Why would she be calling him at work? “Stokes,” he answered.

“Nick,” Mandy’s voice was serious. “You need to get over right away.”

Was she booty calling him while he was on shift? He didn’t think so. She sounded a bit too serious for that. But with Mandy he could never tell, one of the things he loved about her.

He covered the speaker. “I’ve gotta take this,” he whispered to the crew before he got up and went into the hall.

“What’s going on?” Nick asked quietly, trying to avoid anyone overhearing, in case he said something that would give them away. “I’m still on shift, I can’t just take off.”

“It’s about work,” Mandy replied. “I think I’ve got a lead on your Bertram Jones case.”

 

When Nick got to Mandy’s house he sprinted up the sidewalk, almost tripped on the root that was poking up, and gave his secret knock on her door. He’d been practicing that knock over and over on every surface as a bit of a nervous tick so he wouldn’t forget it. One long and four short.

Mandy opened the door, but didn’t smile at him like she normally would have, she just turned and walked back to the living room.

She hadn’t given him much detail, just told him to haul his butt over to her place.

The kid from next door sat on the couch playing video games while Mandy paced nervously behind him, looking concerned.

Nick closed and locked the door and came into the room. Hesitantly he walked to the couch and looked at Mandy for some kind of indication about what was going on. She just nodded and motioned to the kid. Something had upset her. Nick looked down at the coffee table and saw that her notebook was laying open, and Mandy had made a pencil rubbing of the symbol he’d drawn. Curiosity, it always got the best of scientists.

“Hey Gabe, this is my friend Nick from work,” Mandy started from behind the couch. She was keeping her distance but Nick wasn’t sure why. She’d known this kid for years, and he was just a kid.

“We’ve met,” Gabe said, still hammering away at the buttons on the game controller. “You weren’t home when I came over to water the lawn, but he was here. Wearing your shirt.” There was a little bitterness in the last statement.

Nick smiled uncontrollably, and flashed it to Mandy before he regained his composure. She smiled a little in return, but it was a nervous smile.

“Yeah I remember,” Nick said. “When I put in the garden.” He sat down on the couch next to the kid, and looked up to see what he was playing. Football, he could talk his way through that to build trust with the kid. “I see you’re playin’ the Seahawks,” he said conversationally.

“Me and Mandy always play the Seahawks,” Gabe defended.

“I’m a Cowboys fan myself,” Nick admitted.

“Dallas sucks,” Gabe said.

“Hey now,” Nick played mocked hurt. “That’s my boys you’re talkin’ ‘bout.”

“I guess if you’re from Texas you gotta cheer for your own team,” Gabe conceded, dropping the controller as an animation came up to indicate the end of the game. He finally looked over at Nick. The kid didn’t look scared, so why was Mandy so upset?

“That’s right,” Nick said. “You’re pretty observant Gabe.”

“You’ve got a pretty thick accent,” Gabe said, “it wasn’t that hard to put together.”

Mandy came around the couch and leaned against the patio door, attempting to look casual, but her folded arms still betrayed her nervousness. “Gabe, can you tell Nick what you told me?”

Gabe looked down at the floor, as though considering whether or not to trust Nick.

“It’s cool man,” Nick said, “we’re all friends here. No secrets.”

Gabe pointed at the symbol. “I’ve seen that before. My brother’s got a poker chip with that on it.”

Nick stayed quiet, waiting for the kid to give him more.

“He always keeps it with him,” Gabe said, “he left it out once when he was in the shower, and when he caught me playing with it he… took it back.” Nick sensed there was more to that story, but he’d let the kid tell him what he wanted to.

Silence stretched.

When Nick was sure the kid wasn’t going to give him anything else, he continued with the interrogation. “Do you know where your brother got it?”

Gabe shook his head.

“Gabe, you gotta tell him everything,” Mandy said. “Exactly what you said to me.”

Gabe looked angry, and a little hurt. He’d told Mandy something he thought was in confidence, and she’d immediately called Nick to let him in on the secret. The kid probably felt betrayed.

“He’s my brother,” Gabe said, “I don’t want to get him into trouble.”

“No reason he’d be in trouble for havin’ a casino chip, is there?” Nick asked, trying to sound as positive as he could.

“Mateo’s been getting into trouble,” Gabe said, “hanging out with the wrong guys.”

Nick looked up at Mandy, her lips were a tight line and she was shaking her head like she was disappointed. She put a hand nervously to her mouth and looked pleadingly at Nick.

“What kinda guys?” Nick asked.

“Perro Malo,” Gabe replied after a long pause. “He got the chip right after he joined with Perro Malo. When he took it back from me he told me they’d kill him if he lost it.”

Nick didn’t know what to say. Perro Malo was a gang that was growing in popularity due to it’s not-so-nice reputation. If these chips were connected with Perro Malo, and someone had killed Betram Jones to get his chip, then things were going to go south in the gang community. Whenever a newer gang gained strength the only thing that ever followed was a turf war. But how were the chips connected to Perro Malo? Did all the members carry one?

“He’s my brother,” the boy pleaded, looking up a Nick. “He hasn’t done anything wrong. You’re not gonna take him away are you?”

“No,” Nick said softly. “He ain’t done nothin’ wrong. Like I said: there’s no crime in carrying a casino chip.”

“Look at the time,” Mandy said. It sounded like she’d been holding her breath in during the whole conversation. “You’d better get along to school, or you’ll miss it, and then your mum will be on my ass for letting you play video games all morning.”

“This is a big help to me man,” Nick said, nodding to the kid.

“As long as it doesn’t get my brother in trouble,” Gabe said.

Before Mandy had even let the kid out of the house, Nick stepped into the backyard and called Brass.

“Jim, it’s Nick. I got a lead on that symbol I gave you.”

 

Mandy walked out into the backyard, her hands shaking a little. Poor Gabe. She just didn’t know what to do, how to help him. He’d given less detail to Nick, but his brother was a bad guy, and Gabe was in over his head. She looked up at Nick just as he was hanging up with Brass. He looked angry.

“Does his brother live with him?” Nick asked, angrily, pointing to the fence that bordered Gabe’s back yard. At least he had the sense to keep his voice down so no one in the yard would overhear him.

Mandy nodded.

“Well that’s just awesome,” Nick replied, his voice changed to a seething whisper. “You’ve got a gang member living right next door, and you’ve taken a personal interest in his kid brother.”

“What should I have done?” Mandy whispered back harshly. “I’ve known his mother since I bought this house. I’ve seen Gabe grow up. He’s a good kid. He helps me out and I pay him well. I should just shut myself in my house and never talk to anyone.”

“In this neighborhood? Probably!”

Mandy stormed back into the house, tired of keeping her voice quiet, and Nick followed, closing the patio door behind him.

“You don’t think I find this upsetting?” She asked, and held out her shaking hands for him to inspect. “I’m so freaked out right now I don’t know what to do with myself!”

Nick’s face softened, and he took her hands in his own, but Mandy pulled them back.

“Don’t do that,” she scolded. “You don’t get to lay on the self-righteousness and then play the hero.”

Nick sighed. “Do you have your firearms certification?” He asked, his voice returning to normal as he began to reason out the situation.

“I’m a lab tech, what do you think?” Mandy asked.

“What if you ever wanted to go into the field?” He asked.

“I don’t,” she replied.

“You should look at getting your certification,” he said. “Especially living in this neighborhood. And considering your neighbors…”

“I’ve had enough of this conversation,” she said. “I am done.” She wasn’t some little waif who needed protecting and she was fed up with being treated like one. “I know you don’t like my neighborhood, or my house, but it’s mine. I bought it myself and I’m seriously proud of it. Not all of us can afford to live in Spring Valley.” He opened his mouth to speak, but before she could regret it she continued. “I’m still paying off college debt here, not all of us have mommy and daddy paying for our education and giving us a leg up in life.” She didn’t know if his parents had helped him with his schooling, but based on their status and wealth she was guessing. The hurt look on his face didn’t even curdle her anger but confirmed her suspicions. “Nobody talks to me like that in my own house,” she tacked on the end, “not in the house I worked so hard for.” Her anger shook her voice and she could feel the heat in her cheeks.

Nick stepped forward, hurt and anger mixing in his eyes, and he reached out for her.

“Nope,” she said simply, stepping out of his reach.

“Fine,” he said stonily. He pulled out his phone and dialed, locking eyes with her for the duration of the call. “This is Charlie O-5 Stokes. I need a plain-clothes car stationed outside 115 Homes Ave for protective surveillance. The target is crime lab tech Mandy Webster.” He made committal noises a few times into the phone before repeating her address, and hanging up.

“Nothing’s going to happen to me,” she said. “I’ve never even met Gabe’s brother.”

“He’s scared of his brother. I’m sure even you can see that, which is why you’re so upset right now,” Nick pointed out. “PD is gonna start leanin’ on these guys now that we have a lead and Perro Malo is gonna wonder where the cops got their intel. It won’t take long for that kid to spill that he’s told you about that chip. What then?”

“Gabe wouldn’t do that,” Mandy said.

“We’ll find out soon enough,” Nick said. “And until we get this all settled that cop will be sittin’ out front, and I’m stayin’ here.”

“Of course,” Mandy spat. “Cause you have the gun, and you can save everyone. If you want to stay you’re sleeping on the couch.”

“I’m stayin’,” Nick confirmed, arrogant and calm.

“Have at ‘er,” Mandy said before storming to her bedroom and slamming the door behind her.


	9. When Does a CSI Sleep?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy is in danger. Nick is losing it.
> 
> Takes place around S6E4 - Shooting Stars
> 
> Short smutty bit amidst the drama.

The plain-clothes car showed up quickly, and Nick watched at the front door until they arrived. His phone rang shortly after.

“Stokes,” he answered.

“Nick,” Grissom said. “What’s going on? Brass just told me that there’s a detail assigned to Mandy’s house, and that you called it in? And Greg tells me that you ran out of here before the end of shift after you got a call.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry ‘bout that,” Nick apologized. What was it about Grissom that always made him feel like he was still a kid? “Mandy had a lead on the…” he trailed off, and cursed himself.

“You’re going to say the Bertram Jones case, aren’t you?” Grissom asked.

“Yup,” Nick grimaced. “And I know what-”

“Nick,” Grissom said, “I warned you about this case. More than once. And how did Mandy get involved in it?”

“Wrong place, wrong time,” Nick sighed, glancing toward her closed bedroom door. Nick gave Grissom the lay of the land and repeated the story, filling in with some fibs when needed, to explain why Mandy had a copy of the symbol; She’d been teaching him about ciphers of course, and that’s when his memory had been jogged.

“Catherine’s going to want to come out and have a word with Mandy’s neighbor,” Grissom said. “She’ll probably even want to talk to the older brother.”

“See now, I think that’s a bad idea,” Nick said. “I took the statement from the kid and-”

“And I told you to stay away from this case,” Grissom said, getting more angry by the moment at Nick’s protests.

“I just think that we should treat this kid as a protected informant,” Nick replied. “He’s a good kid, and I don’t want to see him get dragged into this.”

“That will be Catherine’s call.”

“Can you talk to her? Ask her to give Brass a chance with the rest of the Perro Malo first?”

“I’ll see what I can do Nick,” Grissom said, “but I’m serious about you staying out of this.”

“Mandy’s my friend,” Nick said. “I’m staying on her couch until this all blows over.”

“Just stay away from the evidence from here on out,” Grissom warned.

Mandy’s couch was comfortable enough, but there were no black-out blinds on her patio door and the sunlight streamed in bright across the living room. He wasn’t going to get much sleep, between the light and worrying about her.

So he lay on the couch and watched the sun move across the room while he thought about the fight they’d just had. They’d never really fought as friends. Their relationship hadn’t been serious enough for them to have any fights. It had been a lighthearted casual friendship full of ease and laughter, but not too much serious stuff.

She hadn’t been wrong about him. Everything he had in his life was thanks to his parents. And he didn’t look down on her for making her own life, in fact he thought she’d done a lot better than he had with his; Subcontracting for the feds and buying her own house, while he sat at home and watched Animal Planet. It had still been hurtful for her to point it out. 

But hadn’t he hurt her too? By treating her like she needed constant protection when she was strong and could take care of herself? 

What was wrong with wanting to protect someone? How could she be mad because he wanted her to be safe?

But he’d been mad at her for trying to help someone too. Someone with nowhere else to turn in a community that was hurting. That kid next door could be just like Warrick one day. Rise up out of the bad neighborhood and do something good with his life. Without the support he’d had in his community Warrick wouldn’t have gone anywhere. 

He’d have to apologize to her.

It was just a fight. People fought all the time. His parents fought constantly when he was growing up, and they were still together. But his parent’s relationship was anything but healthy, so he pushed that thought to the back of his mind. 

They had both been stressed out. She was upset about Gabe, Nick was upset about her safety. In addition to all the other shit he’d been dealing with. They’d figure it out. Things would be back to normal in no time.

He tried to ignore the fact that PD would be tracking down and leaning on the Perro Malo while he tossed and turned on the couch. How long until the gang talked to Mateo? To Gabe? How long until they found their way to Mandy’s door? It was only a matter of time. His gun sat on her coffee table, less than an arm’s length away, and each time he rolled over he turned back to make sure it was still there.

Nick put the TV on low and dozed in and out while he listened to scientists spewing facts about the patriarchal system of lions, hoping the background noise would lull him to sleep.

 

A hand lightly touched his shoulder. Nick hadn’t really fully been asleep, but he wasn’t fully awake either and when he realized someone was touching him he rolled over to grab for his gun and spun right off the couch onto the floor. He jumped to his knees and fumbled for the coffee table, only to look up and find Mandy looking down at him.

“Jesus Christ,” he said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “You scared the life outta me Mandy.”

“It’s eight,” Mandy said. “I wasn’t sure if you had a shift tonight or not. There’s coffee.” Her tone was cold, but she’d offered him coffee. That had to be a good sign.

“Are you on tonight?” Nick asked, leaning up against the couch and rubbing the knee that had hit the floor hard when he fell.

“Nope,” she replied, retreating to the kitchen. “Two days off in a row. Party time.” Delivered with zero enthusiasm. “Prisoner in my own house.”

She came back with a cup of coffee and handed it to him. She sat down on the couch.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For Gabe. I heard your call with Grissom. Thanks for trying to keep him out of it.”

Nick smiled up at her and nodded. Everything would be all right. Once they both cooled down and talked it out. But no time for that now.

“He’s a good kid. Smart,” Nick admitted. He choked back the too-hot coffee, holstered his gun and pulled himself up off the ground. “You mind if I have a shower?” He asked, motioning to the bathroom. It felt like they’d taken a step back, having to ask permission felt like a step back.

“Go ahead,” she said, changing the channel on the TV back to sports, and leaning into the couch.

Nick stood under the hot water, hoping it would wash away his fatigue, but it didn’t. Only sleep would do that for him, and he wasn’t in a situation to get any more.

 

Nick was leaned close over a suspect’s shirt on the light table at the lab, magnifying the blood spatter, when his head tipped all the way down to the tabletop and he fell asleep.

“You better not be droolin’ on my evidence Nicky,” Warrick’s voice woke him, as the shirt was tugged out from underneath his arm.

He sat up and rubbed at his eyes.

“Sorry Rick,” Nick replied, yawing wide.

“Woah,” Warrick said, taking the magnifier from Nick’s hand to inspect the shirt himself. “What’s goin’ on with you? Your girl been keepin’ you up all hours?” Heavy innuendo.

“Yeah,” Nick admitted, “but not in the way you’d think.”

“How’s that?” Warrick asked. “Maybe I don’t wanna know.”

Nick turned around to make sure no one else was anywhere near. “She might have tipped off the cops to some gang activity and she’s being tailed by PD.”

Warrick made a face that said: that’s rough.

“Plus we had a fight this morning,” Nick admitted. “First one.”

“About what?”

“I got mad and-”

“Yeah, you gotta watch that temper Nicky,” Warrick cut him off.

“I know,” Nick admitted. “She’s just so stubborn sometimes.”

“Who’s stubborn?” Hodges asked as he popped his head in the doorway, carrying a results sheet with him.

“Nick’s new girl,” Warrick said absently before Nick could attempt to cover for his comment.

Nick shot Warrick a look, but he was still looking down at the shirt and didn’t catch it.

“Ooh, new girlfriend?” Hodges asked Nick.

Nick shook his head. “Ain’t nobody’s business but mine.”

“Whaddya got Hodges?” Warrick asked, still examining the shirt. “Nick, go get some caffeine already.”

“Yes darlin’,” Nick joked, hopping up and heading for the break room.

Hodges’ voice trailed after him down the hall: “Did you know that the word linen is derived from the word linum, which is Latin for flax, and that…” No doubt Hodges would hold that results sheet hostage until Warrick listened to the entire history of linen and flax.

Grissom was standing with Greg in the hall as Nick passed, handing him a call out memo. He overheard a snippet of their conversation and it stopped him in his tracks.

“…female, they think mid thirties, dumped at the edge of the desert in the north end,” Grissom was saying. “I guess one of the new gangs has been dumping bodies up there lately. This one fits the MO. Shot in the back. You’ll be working with Vartann on this one. Body’s very fresh so they want to clear the area before they bring you and David out. They want to make sure there aren’t any gang members still in the area. Check in with Vartann before you head up there.”

Before Nick could hear Greg’s reply, he’d already bolted into the locker room. He stuffed his lab coat into his locker, grabbed his jacket and headed for his SUV.

He didn’t need caffeine now, he had adrenaline, and he peeled out of the parking lot headed north.

 

It was dark, but Nick could see the plain-clothes car parked out front of Mandy’s house. The fact that they were still there and the lights were blazing from her windows was a good indicator that she was fine. But he needed to see her with his own eyes. 

Maybe they’d come in through the back? After all, they had access to the yard next door, which would make it easy to climb over into her yard and get her out that way. Or even through the alley gate. She had it locked up, but when you knew what you were doing and you had the tools it was easy to open a locked gate.

Maybe they’d taken her out of the house and questioned her first; Hurt her, and then shot her in the back and dumped her in the desert for the bugs and the animals to feed on.

Nick bolted up the sidewalk, and knocked on the door. One long, four short.

The creaking of the floorboard by the couch inside eased the tightness in his chest a little, and when the lock clicked he held his breath until she opened the door.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she said.

Nick pushed into the house, closed the door and scooped her up into a hug. His hand cradled the back of her head, pulling her cheek right up against his own while his other arm held snug around her back.

“Thank god,” he exhaled into her sweet smelling hair.

She was rigid in his grip, still trying to be angry with him he guessed, but after his ragged exhale she relaxed and wrapped her arms around him.

“You alright Nick?” She asked.

He didn’t want to let her go, and he was afraid that if he said anything more he was going to dissolve into messy emotion.

“What’s going on?” She asked more urgently. “What’s the matter?”

He released her from the hug, and stared into her eyes.

“Come here,” she took his hand and led him down the hallway. “Sit down, you look like you’re gonna to pass out.”

Nick flopped down onto the couch but wouldn’t let go of her hand and she sat down next to him, curling her legs under herself.

“There was a call out for a dumped body from a gang shooting,” Nick said. “It fit…” he faltered, but swallowed hard and found some strength. “It fit your description and I thought-” He felt his face twist with emotion, but he gritted his teeth and forced it back.

Mandy smiled at him, and he thought he saw pity there, but he didn’t care. “I hate to state the obvious, but it’s not me,” she said, and squeezed his hand tight.

Nick nodded, closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the couch. He felt her move closer until she was pressed up against his side.

“If I didn’t know any better Tex, I’d say you care about me,” she said.

Nick turned his head to look at her. She was smiling wide, her cheeks dimpled.

“You’re just a big softy after all,” Mandy poked the tip of his nose.

She leaned closer. It seemed like years since he’d smelled her close to him, but it had only been days. She kissed him lightly, brushing his lips with hers. She put her hand to his cheek, and put more pressure on their lips. Those lips, full and beautiful, especially when she smiled. Nick put his hand into her hair, running his fingers through it and then pulled her against him harder, opening his mouth to hers. Tasting her…

Nick pulled back suddenly and smacked his lips.

“Did you…” he trailed off, patting at his lips as though he could get rid of the rancid taste. “Were you…”

“Sue me,” she replied with a laugh. “I had one peanut butter sandwich. It’s not like you texted to say you were coming over. And you’re insane because peanut butter is delicious.”

Nick fake gagged, and was rewarded with a laugh.

“Such a drama queen,” Mandy sighed getting up and going into the bathroom. She returned a few minutes later. “You owe me big time, because peanut butter plus toothpaste is just about the worst taste I’ve ever had in my mouth.”

Without any indication she was going to do it, Mandy sat in his lap, straddling him. 

Days since he’d touched her, and a fight he thought it would take them even more days to get over, and here she was sitting in his lap looking down at him with excitement lighting her eyes. Her unpredictability was turning him in circles, but he was starting to enjoy being dizzy.

Mandy leaned down from her perch and resumed kissing him. She opened her mouth and he tasted minty toothpaste. As she curled her body over to meet his mouth, her hips rocked pleasantly against him, forcing a moan from him that travelled down into her throat. His hands on her cheeks, keeping her close, he savored her and his hips moved against her instinctively.

Her hands travelled up the back of his neck and into his hair, and then retreated. She sat back and slowly pulled her shirt up her body and over her head. It was so slow that it was torturous. He just wanted to be touching her again, but she hovered back, slowly revealing inch after inch of soft fair skin. When she had finally dropped the shirt to the floor he closed the space between them again and tasted the skin between her breasts. His hands gripped at her back, pulling her in to him and she sighed out her pleasure in long slow happy sounds.

He was fumbling with the clasps on her bra, when his phone rang. Clasps half undone, he froze, hoping he had imagined it. But then it rang again, and he let his head flop onto the back of the couch.

“You’re still on shift,” Mandy said matter-of-factly.

“I’m still on shift,” Nick echoed with a whine, cringing as the phone rang again. Reaching under Mandy’s leg, he managed to free the phone from his belt. “Stokes,” he answered.

Mandy sat back in his lap, reached around behind her back, licked her lips and finished undoing the clasps on her bra.

“Where the hell are you Nick?” Grissom asked. “Something big just came up and I need you back at the lab. There’s a body coming in and you have to meet it at the morgue and process it.”

“You got it boss,” Nick replied, “be there in two shakes.” He hung up the phone so he wouldn’t have to keep listening to Grissom’s voice while watching Mandy’s strip.

She slipped the bra from her shoulders, her torso now bare, as she ground her hips down into his lap.

Nick let out a groan and dropped his phone on the couch.

“I’ve gotta go sweet pea,” Nick moaned as Mandy continued to distract him.

“Yeah, I got that much,” she said.

“I don’t have time for-”

“I’ll be quick, I promise,” she said, slipping out of his lap.

She kneeled on the floor in front of him, quickly undid his belt and slipped his jeans off. To Nick’s surprise, instead of removing the rest of her clothes, she slid between his legs, and ran her hands up each of his thighs and under his shirt, tickling the spot by his hip that she had found before, and making bark out a startled sound and curl up a little.

Making true on her promise to be quick, she skipped any further foreplay. Her mouth was hot and the instant he felt her tongue on his skin his muscles contracted and he writhed out a moan. She pressed herself between his thighs, keeping him in place while she sent sensation shooting up through his body. It wasn’t going to take long, and he squeezed his legs tight around her body, unable to control himself.

Each pass and retreat of her soft lips made him want to raise his hips to meet her, but he held himself back, grabbing the couch cushions in his hands and squeezing until his knuckles turned white. 

As he gained control of his body after the sudden surprise of pleasure, he steadied his breathing and watched her. Silken brown hair fell into her eyes, and brushed the smooth skin of her shoulders. Her brown eyes snuck glances at him here and there, and each time she met his gaze the animal excitement she’d roused in him before surged in his stomach. He wanted to lift her from the floor, rip the rest of her clothes from her body and wring his name from her lips with the pleasure he would give her. But he held back that animal and let her do what she wanted with him.

A change of pace, the movements of her tongue, each of these things caused him bursts of breathless bliss that felt like falling off a cliff over and over again. He ran his fingers into her hair lightly, just wanting to touch her, and unable to reach anywhere else.

Before long the spasms were closer and closer together until Nick thought he might not be able to take any more.

“Oh god baby…” he choked out, trying to let her know that he was getting close, but unable to find any words. “I can’t… Mandy… I’m gonna…” The noises he let out next were gasping shouts shot through with moans that he couldn’t control as his body took over. He curled forward, his fingertips grasping down her back, until breath came back into his body and righted him again.

When she sat back on her heels, and left his body with one last gentle lick, he shuddered again. 

He looked down to see her watching him, smiling. She licked her lips and he never thought he’d seen anything so sexy in his whole life.

“Told you I’d be quick,” she said with a wink. “That’s gotta be some kinda record.”

Nick shook his head, bent over, took her face into his hands and kissed her passionately, opening her mouth to his and tasting his body on her tongue. Her lips were wet and soft, and she returned his kisses and ran her fingers up into his hair just the way he liked.

Mandy broke the kiss and rested her forehead against his. “You gotta go Tex,” she said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. “They’re not gonna solve anything without you.”

 

Nick had just finished processing the body with Doc Robbins and was headed upstairs to write up the details when his phone rang.

“Hey Nick, we’re gonna need you out here in the desert,” it was Brass.

“Out in the dessert?” Nick asked.

“That body you’re processing led us to a secondary scene,” Brass continued, “and there’s a lotta work to be done out here. It’s gonna be a long day.”

“Alright man,” Nick replied, “just tell me where I’m headed.”

Brass gave him directions for how to get to the scene, and Nick headed through the lab for the locker room. He was just pulling out his vest when Mandy walked in.

“Oh, hey Nick,” she greeted with a wink.

“Mandy! What are you doing here?”

“Grissom called me in,” she said. “I guess they’ve got some big scene. Missing suspects blah blah blah. Gonna need rush results. You know the drill. And I don’t mind getting out of the house.”

“Must be important for them to call in the best,” Nick replied.

“Agreed,” she said with a smile, stowing her things in her locker and grabbing her lab coat.

Nick grabbed his kit and headed for the garage. On his way past her, he took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze, which she reciprocated, meeting his eyes for just a second. How were they going to keep this secret? What if this went somewhere? They couldn’t just stand next to each other all day in the lab and pretend there was nothing between them.

 

Bright hot daylight saturated the desert when Nick pulled up and stepped out of his air-conditioned SUV. The air was stifling.

He waved at Greg who was processing a burned out car across the sand. Greg returned the wave and continued to photograph his scene.

Doc Robbins stood near the building.

“How many we lookin’ at Doc?” Nick asked.

“11, and it’s hot, you’ve gotta move,” he waved Nick toward the stairs.

The bunker was nestled into the desert floor, barely sticking up, most of it below the surface like an iceberg. Glad to be out of the sun he trotted down the first few steps that took him under an overhang, and then he stopped dead.

A steel door was propped open, the doorway small and dark. Nick’s breath started to come quicker. Underground. Why did it have to be underground? Even wearing the long sleeved shirt he had on he would have gladly traded with Greg to process the car in the hot sun. His hands started to shake. But he clenched them tight and moved forward. He wasn’t a coward.

Inside the building smelled metallic, like old rusted machinery, and musty like trapped water. The ceiling was low, and he had to convince himself that it wasn’t getting lower each second. When he reached the stairwell he looked down into the center; Several flights down into the earth. It felt like his lungs had shrunk and he couldn’t get enough air to them. He told himself it would be fine, and descended the metal stairs, trying to pretend that he was just walking down the stairs at the lab.

At the bottom, hard concrete underfoot, he moved into a hallway where the ceiling lowered again and he began to feel closed in. The light didn’t reach down here, and the darkness grew.

A few officers approached, and he couldn’t help but overhear their conversation: “80 feet underground, no A/C,” “I thought I was going to suffocate.”

One of the officers noticed Nick and pointed back toward another doorway. “Just keep going,” he urged.

Nick’s hands were actively shaking, but he pressed forward, hearing Catherine’s soothing voice echoing through the room. If he was with his team, he’d be just fine.

 

Mandy was kicked back in the break room waiting for the prints to come in from the desert when she heard Nick’s voice behind her.

“Got your prints,” he said. Something in his voice was off. Was it pitched higher than normal? Shaky? She couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Coming,” she said, following him to the print lab.

Nick opened his kit and pulled out the latent cards he’d pulled, and that’s when she noticed his hands were shaking so hard he could barely grip the cards and dropped one on the floor.

Mandy grabbed the card from the floor and the rest from his kit and dropped them onto her desk, grabbing his hands.

“What’s going on?” She asked.

He was pale, and working hard at trying to control his breathing. She tugged his hand and dragged him down the hall. Where could they go to be alone? His hand shook in hers. During the night shift there were a million little nooks and crannies where you could be alone, but the lab buzzed like a hive during the day.

Mandy dragged him toward the garage and peeked in the door. The lights were off, the room was dark, no one was processing any vehicles today. Yet. She pulled Nick inside and shut the door, locking it behind her, and hit the lights. Unlike the rest of the lab the garage wasn’t all windows, it was cement like any normal garage would be, so they wouldn’t be watched.

As soon as the door was locked behind them Nick pulled her tightly into a hug. His large arms wrapped around her, his hands grabbed tight fistfuls of her clothing and his breathing quickened against her neck. If she didn’t know any better she’d have thought he was sobbing.

Mandy wrapped her arms around and held him tightly. But she wasn’t good at this. All this emotion stuff. She’d never been good at comforting people or saying the right thing. That’s why she’d been so nervous around Gabe once he’d told her his issues. She didn’t know how to comfort a kid, much less help him through the shit he was going through. And now here was Nick, pressed against her as though his sanity depended on holding her and she didn’t know what to do.

“It’s ok,” she tried to soothe. She put a hand up into his hair and held him tight. “What’s going on?” She asked.

His breathing wasn’t getting any better, only more panicky, and she pulled away from him. At her coaxing he finally released the tight grip on her lab coat and stepped back from her.

“Sit down,” she commanded, moving him over to a bench. She made him put his head between his knees and breathe deep.

After a few minutes he sat back up, face flushed, his breathing back under control. His eyes were glassy.

“What was that all about?” She asked.

Nick blew out a long breath before he answered. He leaned back against the wall letting his body relax. “Nothin’,” he replied.

“No, no, no,” she shook her head. “That was 150% not nothing.”

Nick smiled at her. “The scene out in the desert is a concrete bunker 80 feet underground.”

Mandy sat back against the wall next to him. “That makes way more sense than ‘nothin.’”

“I thought I had it under control,” he said. “Yeah I was a little shaky, but I processed the whole scene and got back here.”

And here it was, she was at a loss. What was there to say? Was she supposed to say he was ok now? That everything would be fine? How could she promise something like that when she didn’t even really know what he was going through? So she just sat with him in silence. Hopefully all he needed was to be with a friend.

He sat forward and kissed her softly. “I’m feelin’ much better now,” he said. “Back to work.”

They walked back to the print lab together and then fell into their familiar rhythm of pretending they were nothing more than friends and coworkers. With the sheer number of prints they needed to process, Nick worked by her side helping her scan them into the system so she could run them and double check the results.

Whenever she was waiting for a screen to load she’d look over at him. With everything going on, it felt like things between them were getting really serious really quickly. Somehow she’d thought it would all be fun, but she knew he was broken when she got into this. And now she just felt like everything was crushing down on her: Gabe and his brother, Nick’s fears and nightmares. And she wondered if she didn’t know how Nick felt when he’d been in that bunker underground, a lingering fear that everything was fragile and was going to come crushing down on her at any second.

 

 

Nick sat in the locker room, so tired he couldn’t think straight. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to drive himself home. Grissom had sent Mandy home hours before once the prints from the bunker had been processed. After they got the girl in custody he’d called Nick and told him to go home too.

“It’s been a long few days Nick,” Grissom said, “take tonight off, we’ve got it covered. Get some sleep.” He must have looked awful if Grissom had noticed.

Warrick sat down next to Nick. “You alright man?” He asked.

Nick nodded his head. “Touch and go there for a while,” he admitted. Not something he normally would have said, except that he was so tired his brain wasn’t quite functioning right.

Warrick nodded. “Well, let’s get you home,” he said. “I’ll give you a ride.”

“I’d really appreciate that man,” Nick replied. “I don’t know if I even remember which car in the lot is mine.”

 

Nick hadn’t given Warrick any instructions, hadn’t asked him to take him to Mandy’s, but that’s exactly what Warrick did. Good friends can always read your mind.

Warrick shot Nick a knowing smile as he stopped the car in front of the house, and Nick nodded and smiled back at him. There was just that unspoken bond between them.

“Looks like she waited up for ya,” Warrick pointed to the front step.

Mandy was sitting on the step, elbows on her knees, beer bottle in hand. She held the bottle up like a toast toward him and Warrick before taking a sip.

“Nice picture to come home to,” Warrick prodded, waving at Mandy.

Nick smiled. “Sure is,” he said, getting out of the car. “See you tomorrow?”

Warrick nodded and drove off.

“First thing’s first,” she said as he approached, “I don’t want to hear another word about my safety. I got Mr. Smith hanging out in his car over there keeping a close eye on me, and it’s the middle of the day. So I can sit on my front porch if I want to. Second thing’s second, do you need a beer as much as I suspect you do?”

Nick slouched down onto the porch step and took the cold sweating bottle from her. “You bet I do,” he said, cracking the lid off the bottle and throwing half of it back immediately. It slid down to his stomach cooling him to the core and he realized just how hot it was, which was contributing to his sleepiness. 

Throwing caution to the wind he set the bottle down, unbutton his shirt, slipped it off and dropped it onto the porch. His undershirt was soaked in sweat, but the little breeze that was rustling along the street cooled him immediately and he sighed.

“I’m surprised you’re not in bed,” he said, taking another sip from the bottle.

“Well I figured: what’s the point? Nick’s just going to come home and wake me up to get in,” she said with a wink.

Home. Nick’s going to come home. It sounded wonderful on her lips.

“I coulda just let myself in if you hadn’t given that key back to Gabe…” he trailed off, his eyes widened and he looked at her. This whole time they’d set up protection for her, when the gang member next door could just use his little brother’s key to get into her house.

Mandy just smiled at him, her plump cheeks speckled with dimples. She reached into her back pocket and withdrew a key, holding it out to him.

“I really beat you to that one,” she joked, “I thought you were a CSI level 2.”

“Level 3 thank you very much,” he smiled back at her, and took the offered key.

“I was thinking about it,” she admitted, looking out into the street, “and even if all this stuff with his brother wasn’t going on, it would be really awkward for him to walk in on us gettin’ down and dirty. So I thought it would just be easier for you to have it. You’re over here all the time anyway.”

Nick nodded and finished his beer. Without asking, Mandy handed him another one, which he opened greedily.

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Nick said, leaning his elbows on his knees too. “Not that I don’t love bein’ over here. But I think part of it is that I hate my house.” He took another sip. “I think I’m gonna look for a new place.”

“Aw shucks,” Mandy replied, “and I thought I was just irresistible.”

He wanted to reach out and touch her, but couldn’t with the plain clothes sitting in a car twenty feet away.

“You are,” he said softly, meeting her eyes. “I just don’t want you to get sick of me.”

“Ok,” she replied, “that makes sense. I could definitely see that happening. Like, sometimes I sit back and think: I’m so glad Nick’s not here right now, what a pain in the ass that guy is.”

“Gee thanks,” he laughed. He threw back the rest of the fresh beer and stood up. “Now all I wanna do is sleep.”

Mandy followed him inside and locked the door behind them. Nick stumbled down the hall, and Mandy grabbed his hand and led him into her bedroom. His intention was to just fall right into bed and not get up ever again, but Mandy kept him standing.

She undid his belt, and stripped him of everything but his underwear. It wasn’t a sexual thing, it was like the day she’d hurt her wrist and he’d washed her in the shower. It was about taking care of him. The gentle touch of her hands as she slid his undershirt off, as she pulled on his leg to get him to step out of his jeans, those touches were the softness he needed; That little bit of pure happiness that righted the world again.

They crawled into bed and lay facing each other. Nick put his hand to her cheek and traced the soft curve of her bottom lip with his thumb.

“That tickles,” she whispered her breath against his hand.

“Good,” he replied, his eyes closing involuntarily as sleep dragged him down.


	10. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place around S6E5 - Gumdrops - Nick is out of town and asks Mandy to do him a favour.
> 
>  
> 
> Some smut - that gets a bit fluffy at the end

Mandy had just hit the start button on her IAFIS search when her phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID before she answered.

“Hey Nick, what’s up?” She greeted, watching the computer scan through print after print. Since PD had removed the surveillance from her house he’d been checking in constantly. Normally she didn’t mind, but she was working.

“Hey sweet pea, I’ve got a favor to ask,” he said, sounding far away.

“Sure, what can I do for you?”

“See I have an appointment this afternoon to look at a place, but I’ve been called out to Lincoln County, and I ain’t gonna make it back in time.”

“Ah, so this is a personal favor,” Mandy surmised.

“C’mon baby,” he pleaded, “I think this could be the house, and I don’t want them to think I’m not interested.”

“It’s gonna cost you,” Mandy said.

There was a long pause on the other end. “You’re not alone, are ya?” He asked.

“At least twenty bucks,” Mandy said, and winked at Catherine who was impatiently awaiting the results of the IAFIS search.

“922 Rose Avenue at 2:30,” Nick replied. “Take a good look around and let me know what you think. Be honest.”

“2:30?” She whined. “Price just went up to fifty bucks. It’s going to interrupt my beauty sleep.”

Catherine rolled her eyes.

“Thanks baby,” Nick said quietly. “I owe you one.”

“Nope,” she replied. “You owe me fifty.” Then she hung up the phone.

“What was that all about?” Catherine asked, probably only interested because it involved Nick.

“Just doing Nick a favor,” Mandy replied. “And it looks like AIFIS came up short on that print. Sorry.”

Catherine sighed. “Don’t worry about it, that’s been my luck today.”

 

Mandy arrived at 922 Rose Avenue and met with Nick’s saccharine realtor who seemed very upset that a) Nick hadn’t come himself, and b) Nick seemed to have a girl in his life.

“So you’re Nick’s wife then?” The woman asked and didn’t wait for confirmation before she continued. “He never said anything about a wife, and I would have thought you would have come to the other properties as well.”

Mandy shook her head. “Not his wife,” she said. “Just-”

“I didn’t think you looked like this type,” the woman sneered. “Sister?”

Mandy shook her head. “Girlfriend,” she admitted. The first time she’d done so aloud to anyone.

The woman smiled, but it was more like a grimace, and she patted Mandy’s arm with a mitt-full of bright red talons. If only Nick had warned her about this woman, she might have prepared herself.

“Should we, go inside?” Mandy asked, motioning to the house.

“Is Nick not coming at all?” The woman asked as she looked up the street hopefully.

Mandy shook her head. “Not at all. Stuck in Lincoln County for the foreseeable future I’m afraid.”

The woman sighed dramatically. “We’d better go in then.”

The house was beautiful. Amazing. Mandy was jealous that this was an option for Nick. Not that she didn’t love her little house, but this one was just so pretty.

Very modern looking, the front yard was fenced off and full of gardens and flowers and a small pond. He’d love that. The house itself was bright and full of light, windows everywhere. There was a feeling of history in the house, but everything looked new, shiny and polished. Maybe a reno? A really good reno. 

She didn’t really ask any questions, it wasn’t her place. She’d told Nick from the beginning that she wasn’t going to be involved in his house search. It was his decision, and she wasn’t going to influence it in any way. So she was trying to stay objective and make mental notes on the facts about the house instead of her opinions.

Light streamed in everywhere. The living room/kitchen/dining room was all open and airy with high ceilings.

There were two bedrooms and an office. The master bedroom was gigantic with a walk-in closet. Mandy didn’t even own enough clothes to fill a closet half that size.

The back yard was the kicker. It was landscaped with a few trees that spread dappled shade over soft, thick grass. Garden beds were scattered all over, and in the middle: a stone fire pit.

It was perfect. But she couldn’t just tell him that. That was an opinion, and she had promised herself to keep her opinions out of it. What if he listened to her and they broke up in six months? This wasn’t her decision, this wasn’t her house, it had to be his.

She parted ways with the scary realtor and went home to sit in her back yard and look at her box of dirt. She wanted to call him, but since he was out of town on a case she knew he’d be working around the clock. Stuck in a rural Nevada town there wasn’t much else to do. She’d wait until he had time and then he’d call her. She wasn’t too worried about it.

 

Nick was getting frustrated. He felt like he was going in circles on the case, and getting lied to at every turn. He was used to getting lied to, but when he’d come out to the sticks he’d expected a case that would be easy to figure out. But here they were in rural Nevada with a house full of blood, no bodies, a basement full of weed and a bunch of lyin’ kids.

The motel they’d checked into was like any small town motel: clean but worn out. It was all they needed though: a shower and a nap and then back to work. Since they were working with local law enforcement they were operating on a day-shift schedule, and had checked in for the night. Nick knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, not when he was used to being up all night, and not with this little girl out there somewhere. He knew in his bones that she was still alive, though the evidence and the timeline was saying something different. 

Add to that his worry about Mandy. It was the first time he’d stayed away more than a day since they’d pulled PD off her street. After putting pressure on the Perro Malo they hadn’t found any of the chips in their possession and nobody was talking. So once their lead petered out, PD couldn’t justify keeping the surveillance on her anymore.

Nick threw his bag onto the bed, and pulled out his cell. It was 11:30. She’d be at work, but he didn’t care. It had been a long, emotional, weird day, and all he wanted was to talk to his girl. Hopefully she’d be alone this time. He opted to text her first and hopefully get her by herself.

Got time for a personal call? He sent.

In reply his phone rang just a few minutes later. He stopped pacing the room and lay back on the bed, trying to relax a little.

“Hey sweet pea,” he answered.

“What’s happenin’ sugar buns?” She greeted.

“No, no, no,” he replied. “No cute nicknames for me. That wasn’t the deal.”

“You’re right,” she replied. “The deal was that you get to call me sweet pea as much as you want and I won’t complain. There was no stipulation that I couldn’t also give you a vomit-inducing nickname. I just need to fish around and find the right one. Take them out for a test drive. I really don’t think sugar buns is right...” she trailed off and he took the opportunity to interrupt.

“Tex works fine for me,” he said.

“Too obvious though,” she mused. “See, you can say sweet pea all you want around the lab and no one would ever know that it’s me on the phone. But if I say Tex, everyone’s gonna know in a second what’s going on. Especially since you can cut the sexual tension between us with a knife.”

Nick smiled. It felt good. His face was sore from frowning.

“Still there?” She asked.

“Mmmhmm,” Nick replied, beginning to get sleepy.

“Thought I might have lost you. Not sure what the reception is like out there in the boonies.”

“You’re comin’ in loud and clear,” he replied. “Did you see the house?”

A very pregnant silence followed.

“I think I’m going to up my fee to a hundred bucks,” she said. “You didn’t warn me about your crazy realtor. Who, by the way, is probably going to kidnap you and eat you with a side of whipped cream.”

“She’s not that bad,” Nick argued.

“Because she loves you,” Mandy protested. “She looked me up and down like I was the disappointing girlfriend her son brought home.”

“Well it don’t matter what she thinks,” Nick replied, still smiling.

“You’re right sugar buns, yours is the only opinion I care about,” she said mock-sweet. “I really can’t get behind this sugar buns thing. I’ll have to try something new tomorrow.” She paused. “Do you know when you’re coming back?”

Nick shook his head and then remembered they were talking on the phone. “Not yet,” he sighed out. “We might be here a few days.”

To Mandy’s credit she didn’t ask for case details, for which he was grateful. He wasn’t sure he could talk about it anymore. He’d called Mandy to lighten his mood, not dwell on the things he couldn’t do anything about.

“But that was a change of subject,” he pointed out.

“Was it?” She asked, attempting nonchalance and failing miserably.

“Did you see the house?” He asked again.

“I did,” she replied simply.

He waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t. “And?” He asked.

“Look Nick,” she was getting serious now, “we talked about this. I told you I don’t want to be involved. This is your decision. It’s not my house. I don’t want to influence you.”

“Jesus Mandy, it’s ain’t complicated,” he laughed, “just tell me what you think.”

She began to list off the technical details of the house, and he cut her off. “I know the specs,” he said, “what do you think of it?”

“I think it’s exactly what you’re looking for,” she huffed out. “It’s so open and there’s lots of light, the neighborhood is great, and it’s got gardens in the front and back. Nice high ceilings. It’s perfect for you.”

“I thought so too,” he said, “I saw it a few days ago. I wanted your opinion first, but I couldn’t wait so I emailed my offer this afternoon.”

“Let me get this straight,” Mandy said. “You interrupted my precious sleep schedule to go see a house you already knew you were going to buy?”

“About sums it up,” Nick said.

“I’m thinking more like two hundred bucks now,” Mandy said, but he could hear the smile in her voice.

“I just needed a second opinion,” he said. “Wanted to make sure it was right.”

“Gotta go. I think Grissom’s looking for me,” she whispered.

“Where you hidin’?” He asked.

“Supply room,” she replied. “Kickin’ back with the swabs and the test tubes.”

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Nick promised.

“I hope so,” she replied, “you’ve got almost all of our CSIs out there right now. Here’s hoping nobody dies during the night shift for the next few days.”

Nick laughed. He almost let slip: love you sweet pea, but bit his tongue. “Talk to you soon,” he said quietly.

He heard someone call her name on the other end. “Yup. Gotta go Tex,” she whispered before the line went dead.

The idea of a shower seemed like such a good idea, but it also seemed like such a far walk, and he was so comfortable on the bed despite the spring jabbing his lower back. He could shower in the morning and had decided to do just that and drift off to sleep when a knock came to his door.

Nick jumped quickly to his feet and answered, wondering if there had been some late break in the case.

It was Sara.

“Brought you some room service,” she said with a smile as she unloaded an armful of vending machine junk food into his hands.

“I can’t remember the last thing I ate,” Nick said, dumping the “food” onto the small table by the window. He immediately cracked open a bag of chips and dug in, his stomach waking up.

Sara closed the door behind her and took one of the seats at the small table. “Just so you are aware,” she started, still smiling, and avoiding his gaze. “The walls in this place are pretty thin.”

“Good to know,” Nick replied, stuffing delicious BBQ chips into his mouth.

“So any phone conversations you might have over the next few days,” she continued, “might not be as private as you’d like, for example.” 

He froze, potato chip halfway to his mouth. She was wearing that knowing smile of hers.

What was he supposed to do now? Pretend he didn’t know what she was talking about? Confess?

She saved him the trouble. “So, Mandy eh?” She said, ripping open a chocolate bar and taking a bite, meeting his eyes. “How long has that been going on?”

Nick relaxed a little. Sara wasn’t going to say anything, and he was so tired of lying to his friends. To his family. “About a month,” he admitted, and it felt so good to be talking about it.

“Good for you,” she said. “Be careful though, it’s against lab policy.”

“Oh I know that,” Nick said. “Makes it hard. I ain’t the best at keepin’ secrets.”

Sara smiled. “It’s just a good thing it was me next door and not Warrick or Greg.”

“Warrick’s in on it,” Nick admitted, dumping the crumbs from the bag into his mouth. “He knew right from the get go. You think I could keep anything from him? He saw right through me.”

“So did I,” Sara admitted.

“I figured,” he said. “After that whole ‘I hope we didn’t interrupt breakfast’ conversation. It’s not easy keepin’ this secret. I just can’t lie to you guys.”

“Are you happy?” Sara asked, suddenly serious.

Nick smiled and answered immediately without even thinking about it. “Yeah,” he said, “I really think I am.”

“Then it’s worth it, isn’t it?” She asked. The question came out not like a confirmation, but like she was really curious if he thought it was worth it or not.

Nick just nodded. He suddenly had the urge to call Mandy back, but knew she’d be busy with whatever Grissom had cooked up for her, and he really needed to get some sleep.

He must have looked tired, because Sara stood up and headed for the door, picking a few snacks from the pile to take with her.

“We should really get some rest,” she said, as though he had been the one to knock on her door. “It’s going to be a long few days.” She smiled at him one more time before she headed back to her own room.

 

 

Three gang members dead, she hoisted the gun and moved into the next room of the run down motel. Slinking around the corners, making sure she had enough ammo she moved room-to-room and sprayed bullets into crowds of street toughs. They fired back.

A knock came to the door and pulled Mandy’s attention away from her video game. It wasn’t just any knock: One long and four short, followed soon after by the sound of a key in the lock. Mandy jumped up from the couch and nearly bowled Nick over when he opened the door. He’d been gone almost a full week.

Nick dropped his bag in the entryway and their mouths met immediately. He held her cheeks in his hands while he kissed her and she ran her fingers up through his hair. Frantic and almost desperate they clung to each other. He tasted like bitter coffee, it was wonderful and she opened her mouth to let him in.

His lips left hers and messily kissed down her throat, and back up, pausing at her earlobe to lick and nibble at it. Her knees gave way underneath her and she collapsed into his arms, but he held her up.

It was so overwhelming because she hadn’t expected him to be back. He hadn’t called to let her know, and her body had gone 180 from lazing on the couch to fully aroused in 2.4 seconds. 

She heard him slam the door behind them, but the sound was muted, and she barely registered it.

Then she realized that she hadn’t showered in a day or two, and pushed herself back from Nick. “Wait, wait wait,” she choked out, almost tripping over her own feet. “I didn’t know you were coming back. And I haven’t showered yet today, so I should probably do that before we jump into bed.”

“I gotta tell ya,” Nick said with a grin, “it really don’t bother me none.”

“Oh fuck it,” she said stepping back into his arms and letting him steer her toward the bedroom. Their feet stumbled over each other as they tried to do too many things at once and they knocked some things off the table in the entryway on their way by.

She slipped her hands up his t-shirt, feeling his warm familiar skin under her fingertips as she slid the shirt up over his head. She kissed his collarbone, tasting his salty sweat there, and licked a thin line up his neck until their mouths met again. They took a brief pause for Nick to pull her shirt over her head and then resumed their kisses; Hungry kisses between gasped breaths.

Before she realized what was happening her legs hit the bed and she sat down in surprise with a squeak; The perfect position for undoing his belt and slipping the rest of his clothing off. He gently pushed her torso back on the bed and did the same for her, sliding her sweatpants down. 

Once he’d removed her clothes he leaned over to the bedside table to fish in her drawer for something. He was looking for condoms, she realized, but they’d already crossed this line and she didn’t want to go back. It felt so much better without, and it wasn’t like she’d get pregnant.

She grabbed his hand and pulled it back toward her. “Don’t worry about that,” she said.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes full of concern searching for permission even though she’d already given it.

Mandy nodded.

She stood up again and pressed her naked body against his, closing her eyes and savoring the feeling of his hot skin warming her. How was it that he was always so warm? Then she looked up into his eyes, those big round deep pools of comfort.

“Did ya miss me?” He asked, his fingers tracing lines across her back, finding the spots that tickled and made her arch against him.

“Every day,” she replied.

“What do you want, right now?” He asked.

“I could really go for a cheeseburger,” she replied, biting her cheek to try to keep from smiling. It didn’t work.

Nick kissed the smile right off her face, sliding a hand down between the two of them and rousing all of the pleasure she’d denied herself in his absence. It was a sharp pleasure, almost like pain, shooting up through the nerves in her body and connecting in her chest like an electric shock.

She broke their kiss. “Please,” she cried out.

“Please what?” Nick teased as he kissed her neck, and moved his fingers to create more friction between them.

“I’ve never needed anything so badly,” she groaned out, arching her back to push against his hand in just the right way.

It was the right thing to say to get what she wanted, though that hadn’t been her intention, she was just being honest. The need scared her a little, that craving that she couldn’t escape that built up a twitching and tingling pressure that her own touch just couldn’t satisfy.

A noise like a growl came from his throat as he kissed her again and in their eagerness they frantically pawed at each other, laying back onto the bed. It was basic, feral, and there was no logic to it. Once they’d surrendered to each other, their bodies took over and they didn’t think about anything but following instinct. Mandy was on her back, her legs wrapped around him, an attempt to guide and keep him close. Nick slid his arms underneath her back and gripped her shoulders, pulling her tight against him.

Never had anything felt so amazing. Even the first few times they’d had sex didn’t compare. Each tilt of her hips to meet him, spreading her legs further so he could sink even closer to her, each touch of his mouth panting against her skin, all of these things made her feel like she’d go insane. She felt like a spring being compressed and building pressure. All she wanted was for her body to let go and yet it continued to build, and wait. 

She couldn’t kiss him anymore, she needed air and between gulps of air her body released sounds and half formed words that came out in squeaks and moans. Another trickle of sensation worked its way up her spine, and then another, and as she knew it was coming closer she took hold of herself enough to form words. 

“Oh god Nick, I think I’m gonna scream,” she tried to whisper into his ear, but her words came out in a loud shaky moan. Her hands moved from his back to the sheets where they gathered handfuls of fabric and twisted them as tight as she could.

He didn’t respond with words, but his body moved harder and faster against her, and as she finally climaxed, her legs pulled tight around him and her hips rose up off the mattress, trying to hold her in that blissful moment forever. She thought she would scream, but her chest constricted and it came out as a tiny high-pitched moan that petered off slowly.

As she moaned he pulled her even closer to him, buried his face into her neck and gasped through the height of his pleasure, his mouth open and tasting her skin at the same time. 

He slowly lowered their hips back to the bed and lay sprawled and sweating between her legs, his mouth still against her neck, his breath tickling the stray hairs just behind her ears. 

Expending obvious effort, he groaned as he pushed himself up on his elbows to look down at her face. He brushed the hair from her forehead, and she disentangled her fingers from the sheets to trace the lines around his mouth as he smiled. She loved those smile lines of his.

“I’m really happy, you know,” he said.

“I should hope so after that,” she puffed, still out of breath.

“I’m serious,” he said, still smiling. “I love you Mandy.”

She didn’t even hesitate. “I love you too Nick.” It was a rare serious moment for her.

Nick leaned back down and planted the softest kiss on her lips, it almost tickled.

Seeking to break the intense silence she whispered against his lips, “now where’s that two hundred bucks you owe me?”


	11. The Betting Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick buys a house and Warrick urges Nick and Mandy to lay down bets on a football game.
> 
> Smut-filled chapter for sure.

“You gotta lay down a bet,” Warrick urged. “Come on, you’re both huge fans and your teams are about to play each other. There’s gotta be somethin’ on the line.”

Nick leaned back in the diner booth and shook his head. What was Warrick trying to do? Make it obvious to everyone? The whole crew was out for breakfast, lab techs included, and he was putting the focus right on them. Purposefully, Nick hadn’t sat beside Mandy, but between Greg and Sara to avoid any suspicions.

“We’ve got a bet already,” Mandy said. “But it’s higher stakes than just one game.”

Nick looked over and tried to give her the ixnay, but she was looking at Warrick.

“What’s that?” Warrick took the bait.

“Nick bet me that the Seahawks wouldn’t make it to the NFC final,” she replied simply.

“I don’t know what that means,” Sara admitted.

Nick explained quickly, hoping they could change the subject before Warrick asked the stakes. “One step down from the Superbowl.”

“But nothin’ for the game coming up?” Warrick asked. “In just a few days your teams are gonna play each other and you don’t wanna put anything down?” Nick could see the compulsion flaring up in Warrick, since he’d sworn off sports betting he was trying to live vicariously through everybody else; Another good reason for them to change the subject.

Mandy shrugged. “It’s not really a fair bet,” Mandy replied. “Taking candy from a baby isn’t really my style.”

Nick narrowed his eyes. “Alright, those are my boys you’re talkin’ ‘bout, and I can’t help but feel that I’m bein’ goaded into somethin’.”

“You always get more Texas when you’re talking about football,” Catherine flirted across the table.

“Reminds me of home I guess,” he returned her smile with a wink. If Mandy was going to be obvious, then Nick was just going to have to turn people’s suspicions another way.

“I got somethin’,” Warrick said, sitting back in his seat and crossing his arms. “If the Cowboys lose-”

“Which they won’t,” Nick cut in, pointing in Warrick’s direction.

“If they do,” Warrick continued, “then you’ve gotta grow a stache and keep it for a month.”

A laugh went around the table, and everybody leaned closer to see if he would take the bet.

“That’s a bet I’ll take,” Nick replied, glad that Warrick hadn’t leaned toward betting money. This was fun and harmless. “What happens if they win?”

“They won’t,” Mandy replied cockily.

“But if they do…” Warrick replied, pausing to think. “I don’t know. Give me some help people.” He looked around the table for suggestions.

“You can prep my kit for a month,” Nick said, locking eyes with Mandy across the table. Nick hated prepping his kit, and though he normally wouldn’t trust it to someone else, he knew Mandy would do it right.

“You got it,” she replied, cool as a cucumber.

“Wait,” Sara interjected. “That doesn’t really seem fair. You just have to grow some facial hair, and she has to do actual work? Prepping a kit is not a five minute job.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Mandy replied, “cause there is no way the Cowboys are going to beat the Seahawks.”

“I sure hope they do,” Catherine said. “I’m sorry Nicky, but you just don’t have the face for a mustache.”

Since most of the people at the table weren’t avid sports fans, the conversation quickly moved on to other topics and Nick put his arms on the back of the booth and relaxed. If the football conversation had continued it wouldn’t have surprised him if Mandy had revealed their Super Bowl bets, or his at least. If the Seahawks made it to the NFC final, any time she had case-breaking results for him he would have to serenade her with Mandy by Barry Manilow. He may have had a few drinks when he agreed to that one, but there was no way in hell the Seahawks were going that far so he wasn’t worried.

 

They each took their own cars from Frank’s Diner. And both ended up at Mandy’s house. While he was looking for a house to buy, Nick was staying with her, and he had beat her home. Much to her confusion he hadn’t gone inside though, and was still sitting in his SUV.

Sensing that something was up, she walked over, stuck her head in the open driver’s side window and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“What’s going on honey bear?” She asked.

“I definitely hate that one,” Nick cringed at the new nickname she was trying out.

“I don’t know,” she said thoughtfully, “I like it a lot better than pookie.”

“I don’t know why I need to have a silly nickname,” he replied. “Just call me babe or honey or somethin’ simple.”

“I agree. I don’t know why people need silly nicknames. Me for instance, I don’t think I need a silly nickname,” she smiled. Much as she protested she had become accustomed to being his sweet pea, and didn’t mind it so much anymore.

“Are you tryin’ to back out of our agreement?” He asked. “I could definitely stop using the clubhouse knock.”

“You don’t use it anyway, since you have a key now,” she pointed out.

“Get in the truck sweet pea,” he said, “I’m takin’ you for a ride.”

“Ooh,” she mocked, “we haven’t had sex in your truck yet.”

“We almost did, that time after that bar on Freemont,” he said.

“Right,” she recalled with a smile, “but you had just had it detailed so you made me wait until we got home.”

“And anyway,” he said, shifting into drive, “that’s not the kinda ride I was talkin’ about.”

They drove south and she left her window down and let the warm wind toss her hair in all directions. It seemed unlikely that he was taking her to the batting cages, since he was in a good mood. The batting cages were reserved for a bad day. And obviously they weren’t going star watching since it was almost noon. He was looking to surprise her, and she relaxed into the seat and began to doze a little in the comfortable warm sunshine.

The SUV bounced, and Mandy opened her eyes to find that he had pulled up into a driveway. It took her a moment to fully wake up from her little nap and realize they were sitting in the driveway of the house she had looked at for him. The realtor sign in the front yard boasted a “sold” plaque. Mandy turned back to find Nick beaming in her direction.

“You got it?” She asked, the stupidest question she’d asked in a long time, or why else would he have driven her there.

“I got it baby,” his smile was from ear to ear, one of those smiles that crinkled the corners of his eyes.

She leaned over and kissed him. “Congrats,” she said, “I feel like we should have champagne or something.”

“Naw,” he replied, “we’ll do all that once I move in.”

“Which is when?” She asked. “You know, I’m not a huge fan of having a freeloader at my house all the time. You don’t even pay any rent.” It was a joke, and as much as she liked having her own space she would miss not sleeping next to him every night, but she didn’t let the disappointment creep into her voice.

“About a month,” he said. “I’m gonna take a few days off to move and settle in.”

“Good idea,” she said, eyeing the front yard.

“You should book some time off with me,” he suggested gently, as though worried he would be rejected.

“Looking for free help?” She joked.

“I know I’ll be busy with the house,” he said, “but it’d be nice to have a few days off together, instead of taking what we can get between shifts.”

“Sure,” she said, “give me the dates and I’ll put in the request tonight.”

He grabbed her hand and kissed it like she was a princess before he put the SUV in reverse and backed out of the driveway.

“I almost wish you hadn’t brought me down here today,” she said.

“Why not?” He asked. “I thought you’d be excited.”

“I am, but I just want to go inside, like, right now. And you don’t own it yet, so that would be breaking and entering,” she said. “But I guess if you got yourself assigned to the case you could just lose some evidence and rule it unsolved.” She continued her fabricated story as he drove them back to her house, right up to Catherine and Warrick discovering Nick’s evidence tampering and having a fight in the break room.

 

 

Nick had the whole thing planned out. He’d been keeping all the supplies at his place, since he wasn’t using it for much else these days, and Gabe was going to get up early and help him.

Right on schedule, Gabe showed up at Mandy’s at 4 AM. They had at least 3 hours to get everything done until she was off shift at 7 AM. In addition to getting his help with the garden, Nick was trying to get some one on one time with Gabe. It was selfish, but he was hoping to fish a little more into his dead-end case.

Gabe, however had other ideas.

“This thing with you and Mandy’s pretty serious then eh?” Gabe asked as he dug down into the dirt at his end of the small garden.

It was still dark out, and Nick had borrowed some work lights from the lab to light the job until the sun rose. Gabe was turned away from the lights, his face shadowed.

“Yeah, I think so man,” Nick admitted. This line of conversation wasn’t going to get him anywhere with the kid. Gabe obviously had a crush on Mandy and didn’t hide his disappointment well. Admitting that their relationship was getting serious wasn’t going to endear him to the kid.

“When we talked a few weeks ago,” Gabe continued, “and she said you guys were friends I wasn’t sure, but then she gave you my key.”

“We were friends first,” Nick said. “That’s how the good ones start I guess.” How would Nick know that? The last girl he’d been friends with first was in high school and she hadn’t really been interested in him in the end.

They both kept churning earth in silence.

“Is she mad at me about the stuff with my brother?” Gabe asked sullenly.

“No,” Nick answered. “Why would she be mad at you? You did nothin’ wrong.”

“I haven’t seen her much,” Gabe admitted. He stopped what he was doing and leaned on the shovel. “She took my key back. And we used to play video games all the time; She’d let me come over after dinner and we’d play. She knows my mum can’t afford stuff like that. But I hardly see her anymore.”

Nick smiled. Mandy never really told him too much about her relationship with Gabe. Just that she’d offered him money for housework. But she’d really taken an interest. Heart of gold, that one, but she didn’t want anyone to know. Or she just wasn’t one to brag.

“Listen man,” Nick confided, “I think that’s my fault. I been around a lot and-”

“I know,” the kid interrupted him, looking Nick right in the eye. His expression was cold, but he smiled at the last moment before he added: “but I think she’s happy. And that’s your fault too.” The kid’s face reddened in the bright lights before he turned back to his work.

“Listen,” Nick said, “there’s a big ball game comin’ up on Sunday. Seahawks and Cowboys. You should come over for the game.”

“You sure?” Gabe asked.

“Yeah,” Nick said with a generous smile, “there’ll be all sorts of people over for it.” A lie. They’d planned to watch the game alone. “Unless you’ve got somethin’ else goin’ on?”

Gabe shook his head. “Sounds like fun,” he said.

They finished planting the garden, and put everything in the back yard back just the way it had been so Mandy wouldn’t suspect anything. He loved the idea of her thinking it was still a barren box of dirt until flowers started popping up. 

Nick didn’t broach the subject of the casino chips or Gabe’s brother. After their heart to heart he just didn’t have it in him to try to squeeze the kid for info. They finished with lots of time to spare, and Nick gave Gabe the hundred bucks he’d offered for the help.

“See you Sunday?” Nick confirmed.

Gabe nodded and headed off to get ready for school.

Now Nick had to break the news to Mandy that she was having a Sunday Night Football party. It took a lot to make Mandy mad, but that would do it all right.

 

 

“I cannot believe you volunteered my house for this,” Mandy complained as she set a bowl of chips down on the coffee table so hard that half the contents spilled onto the table. Whatever, Nick could clean it up. It was his damn party anyway.

“It won’t be so bad,” Nick replied.

“You’ve been saying that for two days,” she said. “I feel like, if I need this much convincing, it’s going to be bad.”

“It’s gonna be fine babe,” Nick assured as he gathered up the chips from the coffee table and poured them back into the bowl.

“You don’t get it Nick,” she said. “I don’t invite people to my house. Why didn’t you have it at your house?”

“Well, since I’ve already started packing and the place is a disaster, my place is out,” he said. “Plus, I did this for Gabe.”

“Yeah yeah,” she said.

“He really misses you,” Nick said. “What happened there anyway? How come you stopped talking to him?”

Mandy flopped down on the couch. “Me and Gabe always had this fun sister brother relationship thing going on,” she admitted. “We didn’t talk about anything serious. We just played video games and talked about sports.”

“You can’t do that anymore?” He asked, sitting next to her on the couch.

Mandy was uncomfortable. Serious conversations weren’t her jam. Couldn’t all of life just be fun times? If you didn’t take things seriously, then you could just skip on through and pretend everything was dandy.

“You’re awful quiet,” Nick said.

“All the stuff with his brother,” Mandy started, “I just can’t-”

Saved by the bell, a knock to her front door interrupted her sentence. She glanced at the door, and then pulled Nick to her in a fierce and passionate kiss.

“What was that for?” He asked, as she got up to answer the door.

“I’m not gonna be able to do that all night,” she replied, “it’s going to be difficult and I needed a little something to get me through.” As she reached the door to open it, another thought sparked in her brain and she ran back to where Nick sat on the couch. “You told Gabe that our friends don’t know about us, right?” She hissed at him.

Another loud knock at the door.

Nick cringed and spoke the next words slowly. “I did not.”

Mandy rubbed her forehead and could feel the headache coming on already. “I knew this was going to suck, and it just keeps getting worse,” she said. Returning to the door she opened it to find Warrick standing outside about to knock again, case of beer in hand. Ballistics Bobby was right behind, just coming up the walk.

“Hey Mandy,” Warrick greeted.

“Warrick,” she said, stepping aside to let him in.

“Hey Bobby,” Mandy said dismissively to Bobby as he followed Warrick inside. She’d left her hostess hat in the closet and wasn’t going to be any more accommodating to anyone than required. She wasn’t even grumpy that Nick had volunteered her house, she was grumpy that he was forcing her together with Gabe. Which meant she was going to have to deal with her issues and talk to him. She felt bad for the kid, but she just didn’t know what to say now that all of his emotional shit was out in the open.

“Hey Nicky!” Warrick walked over to Nick and they bumped fists. “I see you beat us here.”

Warrick and Nick were best friends. He had to know that Nick had been staying with her. No doubt he was doing it for Bobby’s benefit, to keep up the charade.

Jesus god tonight is going to be draining, she thought. So many secrets. So much drama.

Her living room was small, so they hadn’t invited a ton of people. Just enough to crowd around the coffee table and still have a view of the TV.

Gabe arrived next. Mandy dragged him out to the back yard immediately and he looked a little scared.

“What’s going on Mandy?” He asked timidly. “Something wrong?”

“This is a super shitty thing to ask,” she said, “but I kinda need you to lie to everybody tonight.”

Gabe frowned, but the corners of his mouth were twitching toward a smile. “About what?” He asked.

“About me and Nick dating,” she said. “A bunch of the people here tonight are people we work with and we haven’t said anything.”

Gabe smiled. “That’s cool, I can keep your secret.”

“It’s not cool,” Mandy sighed out with a tired smile, “but I appreciate your dishonesty.”

When they got back into the house, another guest had arrived. A familiar face with messy blonde hair and deep blue eyes: Ben.

“Bennie!” She greeted, her mood increasing. It had been ages since she’d gotten together with Ben. She ran over and gave him a big hug. Just like always he lifted her off her feet and spun her in a circle.

“Thanks for the invite,” he said as he set her down.

“Have you introduced yourself to everybody?” She asked, looking around the room. Nick did not look impressed, and Mandy almost laughed aloud.

“I was just making the rounds,” he answered.

Mandy made the introductions to her coworkers, and Gabe. “This is Ben. We’re old friends.”

The guys all stepped forward and took his hand. She watched close as he shook hands with Nick and noticed that the grip was a little tighter than necessary. This was going to be fun. Not that she’d invited Ben to make Nick jealous, she hadn’t even thought of that. But that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be fun to see him sweat a little.

The stragglers showed up a short time later. Sofia was a surprise, but she’d overheard Nick talking about it and shown interest so he’d invited her. Mandy was glad. There was too much testosterone to deal with, and Sofia would help to balance it out nicely. Last but not least was Greg. Greg had no interest in sports, but had been eager to tag along with the boys.

All seated around the TV they watched the game and shared rousing debates back and forth about strategies and plays.

Mandy sat next to Ben, happy to be able to chat with him after so long. The combination of her relationship with Nick, the FBI contract, and her antisocial tendencies meant she hadn’t seen him much.

The game was not going in Mandy’s favor when halftime hit, and she sat back into the couch feeling defeated.

“Get your packing skills prepared little lady,” Nick taunted as he stood up to stretch.

“Game’s not over yet,” Mandy stuck out her tongue. “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, isn’t that one of those quaint little phrases ya’ll love so much?”

“Why yes it is,” Bobby spoke up, his Alabama accent much thicker when backed by a bottle of beer.

“I need another brew,” Nick said, walking toward the kitchen. “Anybody else?”

Several people called out requests.

“Hey Mandy,” Ben whispered into her ear, “can I have a minute?” He motioned to her backyard.

Mandy closed the door behind them and waded out into the grass, the evening cooling around her. They sat side by side in her lawn chairs.

“What’s up?” She asked, wrapping her arms around herself against the cooling evening.

“I think I get why I haven’t seen you much,” Ben said, smiling.

“You know I’ve just had a lot going on,” she started, “big contract with the feds and-”

“And you’ve got a new boy toy,” he added for her.

“I should have known you’d figure it out,” Mandy replied, unable to keep herself from smiling.

“He was staring daggers at me the minute I picked you up for that hug,” Ben said. “And then that handshake. I almost didn’t get my hand back.”

“I knew this was a bad idea,” she said, “is it really that obvious?”

Ben nodded. “He knows his way around your house a little too well for a guest. I don’t think Sofia’s figured it out yet,” he said, “but you’ve got me to thank for that, since I’ve been trying my darndest to distract her.”

“Give me that,” Mandy grabbed his glass of rye and coke without waiting for permission and took a big swig. It was strong. Way too strong, and she felt it burn all the way down to her stomach. It warmed her up immediately.

“He’s cute,” Ben motioned back to the house. “How’s that working out?”

Mandy looked over at the box of dirt in the corner of her yard. He’d put it in about a month ago, but it seemed like it had been so much longer than that.

“Really good, I think,” she said.

“You think?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

“You know me,” Mandy held out her arms dramatically. “Queen of the broken relationship. Trying not to get my hopes up.”

“Well we need to have a date and talk more about this,” Ben said, waving back toward the crowded house, “when there aren’t so many ears around.”

“Agreed,” Mandy sighed out.

“Good, cause I’ve got Distillers tickets and I’ve got no one else to go with,” he said. “We’ll go for dinner, make a night of it.”

Mandy smiled. “That sounds awesome! I haven’t been to a show in forever.”

The patio door of the house slid open, and she heard someone step out onto the patio stones but she didn’t look behind to see who it was.

“Hey Mandy,” it was Nick’s voice, woven through with concern. “Half time’s just over.”

Ben smirked at her before he covered the mischievous grin with his glass and took a sip.

“Awesome,” Mandy replied, getting up from her chair. “It’s about time for a comeback.” 

She walked toward the house, Ben following behind, but she’d stood up too quickly, and the rye had gone right to her head. She stumbled a little on one of the paving stones. Nick caught her arm in front, and Ben dropped his glass, which luckily hit the grass, and grabbed her around the waist from behind.

“You got her?” Ben asked.

“I got her,” Nick said, his voice and face serious as he looked over her shoulder at Ben.

Ben let her go, and Nick helped her upright, his large hand warm around her arm.

“I’m good,” Mandy smiled up at him, but he didn’t let her go until they were back inside the house. Sometimes his overprotectiveness was annoying, and sometimes it was cute. She just couldn’t figure out how it could be both.

 

“I do not believe that just happened,” Warrick laughed. It was the second time he’d said it. “I just don’t believe it.” Third time.

“That was so fucking awesome!” Gabe yelled, hyped up on too much pop and junk food.

Nick wanted to scold the kid for his language, but he was still in shock, and a little drunk. His boys had been leading the game right up to the last 40 seconds. Then the Seahawks had taken control and won. Won it!

“How long will it take for you to grow a mustache?” Sofia asked.

“Dunno, never grown one before,” Nick replied honestly. “I was really lookin’ forward to not packin’ my kit for a month.”

“Does the mustache month start right now?” Mandy wondered aloud, drunkenly giggling. “Or does it have to be fully grown in, and then a month?”

Warrick grinned. “Let’s see how long it takes for our boy here to grow one first.”

“And how bad it looks,” Greg added skeptically.

“What a letdown,” Bobby sighed out. He’d also been cheering for the Cowboys. The southern boys had to stick together.

“Don’t be such sore losers,” Gabe laughed. “Go Seahawks!”

“You should get home,” Mandy said kindly, patting him on the shoulder. “Your mum’ll kill me if you’re out too late on a school night.”

Nick twitched a little at that comment. It hit a little too close to home considering what Gabe’s brother might do if he knew what Mandy knew.

Gabe nodded. “Video games this week, though right?”

“You got it,” Mandy said, sinking back into the couch next to Ben.

Sofia stood up. “Well boys, my shift starts…” she checked her watch, “not too long from now. So I’m going to be on my way.”

“Which way are you heading detective?” Ben asked suavely, standing up and following her to the door. “I’ve had a bit too much to drink and I was wondering if I could beg a ride home.”

Nick didn’t like the guy. He’d been sitting next to Sofia, making moves on her all night, but then he took Mandy outside and sat talking quiet in the dark with her. The guy felt like bad news. He wondered how Mandy even knew him.

Warrick, Greg and Bobby all left together. They were all on shift too, and needed to head back to work.

That left Nick and Mandy all alone, sitting at opposite ends of the couch.

Nick was still staring at the TV dumbfounded while the post game analysis droned on in the background pointing out all the mistakes that had cost the Cowboys the game.

“How’s it goin’?” Mandy asked drunkenly, a silly smile plastered across her face.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” he motioned to the large screen across from them.

“Yeah I know,” Mandy said, “Warrick already said that like fifteen bajillion times.” She crawled toward him across the couch, sitting back on her heels once she reached him.

She reached out and started to unbutton his shirt. “I bet I could take your mind off it,” she said.

“Is that right?” He asked, shifting his focus.

“I’ve actually been thinking about it all night,” she said. “Thinking about how I’d make it up to you when you lost.” She was biting her cheek to keep from smiling.

Nick reached up and took her glasses off, leaning over to set them on the coffee table. At the same time she slipped his unbuttoned shirt off. Then she pulled his undershirt over his head and started touching his skin.

“What, exactly, were you thinking about?” He asked. His head swam with arousal and a few too many beers.

“I thought about this,” she said, sticking her tongue out and licking at his chest, drawing warm wet lines all around his skin. Nick put his fingers into her hair, feeling each movement she made under his hands. Kissing and teasing her way down his torso she opened his jeans and slid them down so she could access the ticklish spot by his hip. She made a disappointed noise when he wasn’t as sensitive to it as he had been before.

She slid his jeans down just enough to get the access she wanted and then stood up and slowly removed her own pants while she held his gaze. She kept her shirt on, and he didn’t mind. The old worn white Seahawks shirt from her college years was a bit tight and stretched over her chest in a way that had kept him distracted all night.

She climbed onto his lap, straddling him, and sliding down on top of him. She hadn’t been lying, she was really ready to go, which turned him on even more. The idea that she’d been sneaking glances at him and getting excited just looking at him gave him that little extra twinge of arousal.

Their eyes never left each other, and his hands rested on her thighs. It wasn’t about that kind of messy passion they’d shared so many times. He felt like he was a step away this time. He could feel the pressure building low with every lift of her body away from his, and it felt wonderful, but the sensations felt distant. It was like it could go on forever and he could keep feeling that gentle, soft, slick friction until she decided to stop. He hoped she never would.

They didn’t kiss, and the pace she kept was slow and steady, her warm brown eyes holding his gaze. The TV droned on in the background, but he barely heard it. Her thighs retracted and relaxed under his fingertips, but he didn’t hold onto her or caress her. Sharing the most intimate physical connection, and yet keeping their hands and mouths from grasping and feeling each other felt somehow more erotic.

When she finally climaxed for him, she didn’t close her eyes and arch her head back like she normally did. He felt her body constrict around him, her thighs pressing inward, tight against his own. Her eyes stayed open and her mouth opened shakily, but no sound came out. She relaxed back down onto his lap, her rhythm interrupted for a moment before she resumed.

Each time she came, the heat climbed a little higher in Nick. It started where their bodies met, rose to his navel, then to his ribs, then his chest, his collarbone until finally he felt hot all over. The last time she tightened around him, looking down into his face, was more than he could take and his body finally let go, strangling a cry from him his dry throat. Taking a cue from her, he didn’t close his eyes, but kept watching her until they had both relaxed back to stillness.

Finally he slipped his hands up the back of her shirt feeling the warm skin under his fingertips and pulled her close to him, burying his face into her shirt. She wrapped herself around his head, combing her fingers through his hair.

“I wish your team had won,” Mandy admitted suddenly, her voice hoarse and drunkenly emotional.

“Well thanks baby, I appreciate that,” Nick said with a smile, tipping his head back to look up at her. “Why the change’a heart?”

“I really don’t want you to grow a mustache,” she burst out laughing.

Nick gripped her tight, and flopped her to the side onto the couch, turning to lay on top of her. She still giggled and wriggled under him, firing his body back up.


	12. When Is Too Soon?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a breakthrough on Nick's case that makes Mandy worry.
> 
> No smut - sorry - very brief cuddling is the best you can hope for in this one

Ben had come through on his promise, and Mandy switched shifts with Henry so she could make it to the concert.

She was digging through her dresser drawers trying to find the tank top she wanted; The bright red one that was wearing through the seam at the bottom.

Mandy pulled the tank top triumphantly out of the corner of the bottom drawer. She slipped the tightly fitting tank over her head and adjusted her breasts in the matching red bra, jiggling this way and that. Next she found her black jeans, the ones that were ripped a little at the knee, and put them on. For the final touch she dug in the back of her closet and found her old scuffed Doc Martens. Might as well go all out punk rock. Makeup already done: black eyeliner and red lipstick, she tied her hair up tightly in a ponytail.

Her phone rang while she was lacing up her boots.

“Hello,” she answered.

“Hey sweet pea,” Nick replied.

“Hey punkin, what’s up?” She asked.

“I don’t think so,” he replied. “Punkin? That’s more somethin’ you call a girlfriend.”

“You have hated every single one so far, so you don’t get a say,” she replied. She touched the speakerphone button and tossed him onto the bed while she finished tying her boots.

“What’s the plan tonight?” He asked. Still trying to prepare for his big move, he was at his place packing more stuff.

“I’ve got that concert with Ben tonight,” she said, finishing the second boot. She picked up the phone, went to the living room, grabbed her purse and dumped it on the dining room table she never used.

“Right,” Nick said, “I completely forgot about that. I might see if Warrick wants to hit up the card tables before shift.”

“Sounds like a plan Stan,” she replied, digging through the contents she’d just poured out. From her wallet she retrieved her ID, some cash and her credit card. Then she fished around for her gum and the earplugs she’d swiped from the ballistics lab.

“You mind if I crash at your place?” Nick asked. “Su casa es mi casa?”

Like he even had to ask. “Yeah, of course,” she said absently. “I’ll see you when you get home.”

“Have fun,” he said. He sounded nervous. Was he worried about Ben? She hoped so, if only because it was hilarious.

A light tapping echoed from the front door. Mandy carried the phone with her and opened it.

“Come on,” Ben greeted, opening his arms for a hug and looking her up and down. “You really went all out punk.” Ben was dressed in his normal Ben attire: plain t-shirt and jeans, though he had added a leather cuff for the punk effect.

“Alright punkin,” she said back into the phone. “I’m outta here.”

“Hey Nick,” Ben greeted. “Don’t wait up.” He tapped the red end call button before Nick had a chance to reply.

“You’re trying to stir up trouble,” Mandy said with a laugh. “Do you know how much shit you just got me into?”

Ben rolled his eyes. “I gotta say I really don’t care.” He followed her out and waited for her to lock the front door. “And punkin? What the fuck is that about?”

“Don’t sully my love,” she playfully sneered, as she turned to follow him to his car: some shiny muscle car she didn’t know a thing about. He opened the door for her, ever the gentleman.

“Love?” He asked seriously, climbing into the driver’s seat. “Are you really at love already?” Buckled in, he unnecessarily floored the gas and weaved quickly out of her neighborhood.

“We are,” she said, looking out the window, not wanting to have this conversation.

“Because the Mandy I know is notoriously frightened of that word,” Ben pushed, “to the point that she ruined several perfectly good relationships over that word.” He wouldn’t even say the word, so who was really scared of it?

Mandy shrugged. “It’s different this time I guess.”

 

“Different because…” he trailed off to let her finish the sentence.

“I don’t know,” she said, “and I really don’t want to overanalyze it. So let’s just drop it.”

“Touchy, touchy,” Ben said. “And you know for a fact that I’m not going to drop it. Cause if you want my opinion-”

“Which I don’t,” she cut in.

“He seems like a jealous, macho, controlling bro to me,” Ben finished.

Mandy sighed and looked over at him. “He’s not like that. He’s a gigantic nerd,” she said. “You just bring out the worst in everyone, all the time.”

“It didn’t take much,” Ben replied. “I spent all night flirting with Sofia. I only spent two minutes alone with you.”

Was Nick that possessive? How would she know? They didn’t spend any time in public, and he wouldn’t feel threatened by any of the guys at the lab. Suddenly she was second-guessing her opinions of him. The guy she had punched at the bar: Nick was ready to fight that guy right at the beginning when all he’d done was hit on her. That wasn’t the kind of guy she wanted in her life. How many times had she seen relationships like that end abusively. But Nick wasn’t like that. Why did she always do this to herself? Get herself so tied in knots thinking about what things might be like, when they weren’t that way at all? What would Ben know? When was the last time he’d had a serious relationship? He was just jealous.

“You’re pretty quiet over there,” Ben commented, breaking her away from her stupid chain of unreasonable reasoning.

“Are you trying to sabotage my relationship?” Mandy asked bluntly.

“I just like to point out all the angles,” he replied. “I don’t like seeing people jumping in, all emotions and no logic. It never ends well. All this love talk, that’s not you Mandy.”

“Just stay out of it Bennie,” she replied, “he makes me happy. And I’m good with that for now.”

“Well if he makes my girl happy he gets a gold star in my book,” Ben replied.

“Thanks,” she replied, hoping her mood wouldn’t bring down the rest of the night. She’d have to shrug it off and just let loose at the concert. 

“I just think it’s funny you ended up with a real actual gosh darn cowboy,” Ben teased. “He must be really good in the sack.”

“Just drive the car asshole,” Mandy shot back with a smile.

“And that’s a yes,” Ben grinned ahead at the road.

 

With the big move only a few days away, Nick had packed a bag to keep at Mandy’s until he was unpacked in the new place. Almost everything was ready to go and he was definitely ready to leave his old place behind. Start somewhere new.

Nothing going on at the lab, and Nick’s big move coming up, Grissom had let him go early. He’d finally put Mandy’s key onto his actual key ring, and he pulled it out to unlock her door. The house was quiet, which surprised him, normally she didn’t go to sleep until late morning, but it was only 6:30. 

Nick quietly dropped his stuff on the couch and snuck into the bedroom.

Just looking at her made him happy, even when she was a mess. She hadn’t even gotten under the covers. Still fully clothed, boots included, she was curled up awkwardly, drooling on her hand. Red lipstick was smeared across her pillow along with the black eyeliner that she hadn’t removed.

Musta been some concert. The last concert he’d been at had involved a couple beers and some square dancing.

Sly as he could manage, Nick untied her boots and slipped them off. Stirring in her sleep she flopped onto her back and twitched her feet at him.

“Bennie,” she whined, still drunk and slurring her words. “Leave it alone, I just want to sleep.”

Nick stopped, unsure exactly how to respond, and feeling as though he’d somehow intruded on something. Obviously not the case, since she was here alone, but he felt awkward and didn’t know what to do.

Mandy’s eyes flickered open. “Hey Tex,” she said.

“You’re in bed early,” Nick replied, pushing away any insecurity he had at her fumble of Ben’s name.

“Long night,” Mandy sighed out.

“Come here,” Nick grabbed her hand gently to coax her from the bed. “You should get undressed. Maybe even have a shower.”

“I don’t think I can stand,” she protested, but gripped his hand firmly. “My feet have never hurt so much in my life.”

Nick pulled her to her feet, which she shifted back and forth on, trying to keep the pressure off. The smell of liquor coming from her would have stopped a truck. He helped her undress quickly and gave her one of his t-shirts to wear to bed. She slipped into it gratefully and crawled under the covers.

Nick grabbed the small trashcan from the corner and put it next to the bedside table on her side. Then he stripped his clothes and slid in next to her.

He wanted to let her sleep, but his curiosity overcame him. “Have a good time?” He asked.

“Mmmhmm,” Mandy hummed, already half asleep again, before she slid her back closer to him snuggling in.

He left it at that and was just starting to fall asleep himself when his phone rang. It startled him awake with a jerk like when he’d dream about flying and was about to hit the ground.

Mandy didn’t even stir despite the fact that his arm was around her, her breath deep and even. Retrieving his phone from his pants he answered it just before it went to voicemail. “Stokes.”

“Nick, it’s Grissom. I know I sent you home early, but something’s come up.”

 

Mandy was looking forward to sinking down into a dark deep place and not coming up until she hopefully skipped the hangover she could feel coming. Her head already felt like it was spinning, and her stomach didn’t like that very much. Nick had undressed her and then poured her into one of his t-shirts. She loved having the smell of him all around her, and pressed it against her body with her hands, settling it into every place that she wanted him to be. Then he crawled into bed next to her and put his arm around her, his heat like a soft blanket surrounding her. She drifted down and down into the black until she faded away.

Cold. As quickly as the wonderful warm dreamy place engulfed her it spat her back out again when Nick’s heat retreated from her. She rolled onto her back and opened one eye to see what was going on. Had she really been sleeping long enough that it was time to get up? She hoped not. It felt like she hadn’t slept at all. And she was pretty sure she was still drunk.

Nick stood in the middle of the bedroom, keeping his voice low while he talked on the phone. She watched as he paced around, wearing only his boxers. He made them look really good. But he made everything look really good, except that stupid mustache. Warrick was going to pay for that one.

“No it’s fine,” Nick said, “wasn’t busy. Don’t worry about it.”

A pause while he listened, and then he began asking questions that she didn’t pay attention to. Mandy’s eyes closed while she listened to the soothing low rumble of his accented voice and waited for him to finish the fucking call so he could come back to bed. When had she become that girl who couldn’t sleep alone, who needed her boyfriend next to her?

“What? Are you being serious with me right now?” Nick asked into the phone. His voice had gotten loud.

Mandy sat bolt upright in bed. Whatever it was it didn’t sound good, and she sobered up a little with the adrenaline push, a headache immediately firing in her temples. “What’s going on?” She asked.

Nick turned toward her and his face was full of concern, but he was still listening to whoever he was talking to.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in two shakes boss,” Nick replied before he ended the call. “Sorry babe, I gotta go in.”

“What’s going on?” She asked again.

Nick was gathering his clothes back up off the floor in a hurry. “Brass and Sofia were involved in a gang shooting,” Nick said, putting his shirt on inside out. “Griss says all hands on deck. At least twenty blocks to process, including all the cops and bodies…”

Mandy jumped out of bed and grabbed a handful of his shirt. “Is everybody ok?” She asked.

“A cop was shot,” Nick said, “but Sofia and Brass are alright.”

“Thank god,” Mandy said before she pulled Nick’s shirt back over his head.

“Listen sweet pea,” he said, trying to grab the shirt back from her, “I really gotta go.”

“Not with your shirt on inside out Tex,” she said, turning the shirt in her hands and pulling it back down over his head. “Just let me get dressed,” she added, looking around blearily for some clothes.

“You’re not goin’ anywhere,” he said, heading for the living room.

“You said all hands on deck,” Mandy argued, following him.

“Comin’ in hung over is fine, but you’re still drunk babe,” Nick pointed out as he laced up his boots. “Sleep it off and come in later. But with a shootout I doubt we’re gonna need much in the way of fingerprint analysis. Dayshift can handle it.”

“That guy wouldn’t know which side of a latent card to scan,” she said, grumpily.

Mandy rubbed at her head. Was she still drunk? Probably. They’d tied on more than one after the concert, like, fifteen at least.

Mandy’s phone rang. Caller ID said it was Catherine. Just great. The one person she wanted to tell she couldn’t come in because she was still drunk. Great impression.

“You should get that,” Nick said, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead, tickling her with that stupid mustache. “I’ll see you later.” He rushed out.

 

Lab 4 was still full of evidence spread all over the place. Mandy had missed all the action while she’d been throwing up into the trashcan Nick had strategically placed at her bedside. Ben would definitely pay for that. Ordering round of shots after round of shots had hollowed her right out. She wasn’t in college anymore.

By the time she made it in, most of the case had been worked. In the end it came down to waiting for the sun to set to analyze shot trajectory on scene. Something she couldn’t be of any help with. It was tense though. The results were going to tell them which friendly fire killed that cop: Sofia or Brass. It would be a long couple days for PD.

In the meantime, Lab 4 was overrun with evidence that needed to be boxed and labeled for storage. The evidence was all worked and documented. Feeling bad for her lack of help earlier, Mandy had volunteered to pack it back up.

“It’s almost five,” Hodges said. Swing shift had taken the labs back from them, and without a place to work he’d volunteered to help her. “Sunset. They should be checking the trajectories now.”

“Yup,” Mandy said simply, assembling another file box. Her head still ached and her stomach felt like it was full of acid. She hadn’t been able to eat anything all day.

“Do you ever wonder what it’s like working in the field?” Hodges asked.

“No,” Mandy said.

“You’re awfully quiet this evening,” he continued.

“Hodges, I’m so hung over I can barely see straight,” Mandy turned to him and leaned back on the counter. “It’s not exactly my best day.”

“I don’t really think of you as a party girl,” Hodges twitched his little grin at her.

“I’m not,” she said, “went out with an old friend and things got out of hand.”

“Old friend?” Hodges put the emphasis on friend.

Mandy sighed and turned back to the counter where bags of the victim’s belongings were scattered. The clothes were in large bags, their smaller belongings like wallets and keys in the smaller bags. She started to gather the matching bags of clothing and smaller effects before boxing them up together.

When she got to the third set, she hefted the clothing into the box and tossed the smaller bag on top. The hollow clinking sound that it made when it hit, triggered something and she turned back to look closer. The small bag contained a wallet, a set of keys, two plastic lighters, and five casino chips.

Hodges was droning on in the background, insinuating that her night out with an old friend had been a date and fishing for information. Mandy didn’t listen. She pulled the bag out of the box and fanned the chips out inside: Two from the Tangiers, one from the Luxor, and three black chips with no casino stamp and no dollar amount, just Nick’s strange symbol.

Continuing to ignore Hodges, she dialed Catherine’s cell and heard it ring somewhere off in the building. Mandy walked past Hodges and into the hallway following the ring tone. Catherine picked up just as Mandy rounded a corner and found her by the break room. Mandy flipped her phone shut.

“Hello?” Catherine answered hers anyway.

“It’s me,” Mandy said, pointing to the phone. She held up the bag full of chips. “Has Nick seen these?”

Catherine gently took the bag from Mandy and held it up to look at the chips. “I haven’t even seen this,” she said. “Where did you get it?”

“It’s from the shoot out,” Mandy replied. “Me and Hodges are packing up the evidence. This was on one of the dead guys.”

“Shit,” Catherine swore, immediately heading for Lab 4. “The day shift processed all of the personal effects from the bodies. There was just too much at the scene, we couldn’t work it all by ourselves.”

Mandy followed in her wake, trotting a little to keep up with Catherine’s longer legs.

“Stop,” Catherine commanded Hodges when she walked into the lab. “We need to unpack all of this and go through it again.”

 

Nick was ready for a break. He’d been home with Mandy for about five whole minutes when he’d been called back out for the shooting, and now it had been over 12 hours and he just needed a time out. Their trajectory test had proved that Brass had fired the gun that killed Bell. Nick’s job was done. Not that he was happy about it. But either way, it wouldn’t have been good. He had just enough time to go home, get some sleep, and eat something before he needed to be back at the lab for his regular shift.

Thinking Mandy might be down for some dinner, he crammed his vest into his locker and began wearily wandering the lab. Nobody in the break room, and the swing shift was still working, so none of his people were in DNA, tox, or prints. Maybe everybody had gotten the same idea and gone home. He was just preparing to head out when he heard Catherine’s voice echoing down the hall. Catherine would make for a good dinner companion too; Mandy was preferable, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Lab 4 was lit up, evidence scattered across all the tables, and occupied by Catherine, Grissom, Mandy, Hodges, Henry and Sara.

“What’s goin’ on?” Nick asked as he wandered in. “Ya’ll forget to invite me to the party?”

“I might need that info on your confidential source after all Nicky,” Catherine said, her face apologetic. She held up an evidence bag and handed it to him.

Nick took it and quickly spotted the three black chips. Just like the other one he’d seen. It had been so long since he’d actually seen one in person he felt relieved. For a while he was starting to think he’d imagined the whole thing.

“I thought you said it was a dead end,” Nick replied, trying not to be too cold.

“It was,” Catherine said. “None of the gang members they shook down had these on them.”

“But these guys from the shooting today, they weren’t Perro Malo,” Nick said it like it was almost a question.

“No they weren’t,” Catherine said thoughtfully, scanning over the rest of the evidence bags laid out in front of her. “And we didn’t find them in the belongings of any of the other victims.”

“Why did he have three?” Grissom asked from the corner of the room.

“What?” Catherine replied.

Grissom stepped forward and took the bag from Nick. “He had three chips,” Grissom said, “but your source, Nick, said that his brother only had one. And Bertram Jones only had one. But this guy had three of them.”

Nick shot Mandy a quick look. She looked worried at the mention of Gabe, even as a confidential source.

“I got the impression from my source that it was some sort of badge of honor for the guy. Maybe he did something to earn it?” Nick added.

“Vartann’s been working a lot of the gang cases lately,” Catherine said, “I’ll check in with him and see if any of this means anything to him.”

Grissom set the bag down on the table and stared at the rest of the evidence as though something would jump out at him.

“It’s been a long day guys,” Catherine said finally. “These chips will still be here when we get back. Everybody should go get a few hours shut eye and some food.”

“Swing agreed to stay late tonight for us,” Grissom added on, “so you’ve all got until 1 AM. We’ll work on it then.”

 

 

“Nothing,” Mandy said. 

Catherine narrowed her eyes. “There were a ton of prints on those chips,” she said, “so don’t tell me you got nothing.”

Nick was standing behind Catherine. Since he was still technically off the case due to his conflict of interest he wasn’t talking, but Catherine had been letting him tag along.

“When I say nothing, I mean they’re all the victim’s prints,” Mandy replied. “Nobody else.”

“And you double checked them all?” Nick piped up, unable to help himself.

Mandy narrowed her eyes at him over Catherine’s shoulder. “You mean, did I double check them through IAFIS and physically?” She asked. “Well, since you just watched me double check all the cards manually I think you already know the answer.”

Catherine smiled, but got her face back under control immediately. “Thanks Mandy,” she said, heading into the hall, Nick following like a lost puppy.

So that was the trick. If the sarcasm was focused on someone else it didn’t seem to bother Catherine. Good to know.

 

Catherine kept a steady pace back to her office and Nick followed alongside. “Vartann said he put some pressure on, but couldn’t get any more info,” she said.

“Who did he talk to?” Nick asked.

“I didn’t get the details,” Catherine replied apologetically. “Some cops that work the beat in Perro Malo territory, some informants. This might be another dead end Nicky.”

Nick wanted to hit something. It was never a good idea, and it never helped anything. But sometimes he just felt the urge surface in his chest to tense up and hit something. Now was one of those times. With everything they had going for them, why couldn’t this lead just pan out? They’d hunted down serial killers who planned for years and years but this one stumped them?

He flopped down into one of the chairs in Cat’s office while she quickly sorted through her mail.

“I know it’s not what you wanted to hear Nicky,” she said, “but there’s not much we can do if there’s no more evidence to follow.” She ripped open a small padded package, and peeked inside.

“Yeah yeah,” he replied, “can’t follow the evidence if there is none.”

“Nick?” Her voice was wary, and her eyes darted up to his and then back to the package.

Nick jumped up and ran around the desk to peek inside. It was completely full of loose black casino chips.

Catherine stood up carefully, making sure not to move her fingers at all, and walked slowly to the print lab. Nick walked ahead of her to prevent her bumping into anyone on the way and spilling the chips.

“For the one hundred millionth time I quadruple triple checked the results,” Mandy said to Nick as he walked in, obviously frustrated.

“Can you check these for me?” Catherine asked tipping the package toward Mandy so she could look inside.

 

 

Mandy had been working for hours on the package full of casino chips. Since the case was ongoing and not deemed urgent she hadn’t been given any help and had been dusting everything herself.

There were 83 chips in total. They all matched each other exactly. The symbols were all exactly the same. And not a print on any of them. They were totally wiped clean. Once she’d finished printing them she’d handed them off to DNA for see if they could grab anything from them.

Onto the package from Catherine’s desk. Mandy found several prints on it, and began to pull, scan, and run them all. The first few came up unknown, which didn’t surprise her. Whoever delivered the package would have touched it and most likely wouldn’t have prints in the system. One of the sets were Judy’s from the front desk. Since she received all the packages up front she’d voluntarily given her prints years earlier to help eliminate herself from any mail evidence they received.

Mandy hit Start on the last search and wandered over to the trace lab. She leaned against the doorway and waited until Hodges finished the delicate transfer of solutions he was working on.

“Sorry I bit your head off yesterday,” she apologized.

Hodges stood up and looked around, like he wasn’t sure if he was talking to her.

“Yeah you,” she said. “Listen dude, it was a long day. I just wanted to say sorry.”

“Well thank you,” Hodges replied. “You know I-”

A pleasant ding rang across the hall from her computer, and Mandy ignored whatever he was going to say and returned to her desk. The results were back on the last print, but she didn’t want to believe it. She printed a copy of the print and double-checked it manually. All the markers were consistent.

Her fingers fumbled at her phone as she pulled it from her coat pocket and dialed the number.

“Stokes,” he said on the other end.

What was wrong with her? She was choked up, and could feel the uncomfortable wet sting of tears in her eyes. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat.

“Hello?” Nick asked. “Hello?” There was a scraping whooshing sound coming through the line, it sounded like strong winds.

“Nick,” she said, trying not to sound as upset as she felt. “I need you back at the lab right now.”

“Why?” He asked. “I’m kinda in the middle of-”

“I need you back here, like, yesterday,” she hissed into the phone.

“I need to get outta this wind,” he called to whoever he was with. She heard a car door slam, and the line became crystal clear. “What’s going on Mandy?”

Her lip quivered. God what was wrong with her? She never used to be so emotional. “I got results off Catherine’s mail package,” Mandy said, “and I need you back here now.”

“I’m right in the middle of this B&E,” Nick said, “shouldn’t you call Catherine in on this?”

“It’s Gabe’s brother Nick,” Mandy blurted out. “The only prints that came back on it were Matteo’s.” And then once she’d started she just kept talking. “What happens now? Do they arrest him? What if they talk to Gabe? I don’t know what to do.”

“Warrick can handle it out here. I’m coming,” he said, and relief washed through her. Nick would know what to do. Nick would fix it.

Hoping the whole time that Catherine wasn’t going to walk in and ask for results, Mandy waited at her computer trying to look like she was working and resisting the urge to chew her fingernails.

It felt like hours before Nick walked into the lab, but she’d been watching the clock and it was only 36 minutes. He was out of breath.

“You gotta call Catherine,” was the first thing out of his mouth.

Mandy nodded, but didn’t reach for her phone. The most frustrating thing about this whole situation was that nobody knew they were together. All she wanted in the whole world was to reach out and hug him, have him hold her tight and run his fingers through her hair and tell her everything would be alright. He was really good at that kind of stuff. Instead she felt like a dud firework, smoldering inside and wanting to explode but unable to.

“I’m worried about Gabe,” her voice was shaky.

“Best way to help him, is to work the case,” Nick said, leaning against the desk next to her. He reached his hand toward her, thought better of it, and pulled it back again.

She dialed Catherine’s number, tried to clear her thoughts and swallowed hard to get rid of the anxiety clutching at her throat.

“Willows,” Catherine’s nasal voice chirped.

“Hey, it’s Mandy. Chips were wiped clean, no prints,” she said, feeling stronger, “but I got something on the package. Other than a few unknowns I got prints from a Matteo Hernandez. Priors for assault and concealed carry.” This guy was bad news. Mandy should have done something to get him out of Gabe’s house sooner. He’d tried to reach out to her and she just kept playing video games with him like nothing was going on.

“Alright,” Catherine said, “can you send me his details. I’m with Lou. We’ll go pick him up now.”

“Will do.” Mandy hung up.

“Did you say Matteo Hernandez?” Sara asked from the doorway. Mandy hadn’t noticed her standing there.

“Yeah,” Mandy said.

Sara walked over to the computer and looked over Mandy’s shoulder to see the results of her AIFIS search. Then Sara flicked open the file she’d been carrying. “Of 117 Holmes Ave here in Vegas?”

“What’s goin’ on Sara?” Nick asked before Mandy could.

She pointed at Matteo’s DMV picture on the screen. “I think we’re working the same case. Matteo Hernandez is down in the morgue with a black casino chip stuffed down his throat.”


	13. Feeling Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy, Nick and Sofia tell Gabe and his mother about Matteo's death - Nick moves into his new house
> 
>  
> 
> Smutty scene right at the end of this chapter.

“I’d like you to come with me,” Nick said gently.

Mandy wasn’t listening. She heard the words, but they just didn’t register anymore. She was stuck in a loop of thinking about what she was going to say to Gabe.

Since they were sitting in the break room, and the others were waiting in the hall, Nick still hadn’t touched her. And she wasn’t sure if she wanted him to anymore. Part of her wanted to just stop caring about people; stop having connections in her life. All she needed was herself. She was strong enough to survive like that.

“I think it would be better for Gabe if you were there.” Nick’s voice was still soft and comforting, his eyes warm and caring, but it was like he was an adult in a Charlie Brown cartoon: just sounds put together to make soft brassy noise that she couldn’t process.

“Hey Nick?” Warrick walked in from the hall. Everyone else was hovering like they were afraid to come in, but Warrick sauntered through them all and sat down at the table like it was any other day. “Can you give me a minute with Mandy?”

Nick looked at Warrick like he’d just been slapped across the face: shock bleeding into the soft emotion he’d been wafting Mandy’s way.

“Sure man,” Nick choked out, but there was frustration there.

“Close the doors,” Warrick said.

Nick did as told and stood with the group in the hall.

Warrick sat across from her and leaned down on his knees to look up into her face.

“Hey Mandy,” he started, his bright eyes open wide and holding her gaze. “I know you’re dealing with a lot here. But I gotta tell you, that kid’s got it worse. I’ve been where he is. He lives in the bad part of town, and the people he cares about are gettin’ into bad shit. He doesn’t have a lotta people that believe in him. You gotta be that person for him Mandy. You gotta go be there for him.”

“I don’t know how,” Mandy admitted, and there was no emotion filtering her voice, she felt calm and in control. “I’m not good at this emotion stuff Warrick. I’ve never been good at it. I can joke and I can laugh, but when it comes to the serious shit I really don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t gotta say nothin’,” he said, “just be there for the kid. I’ll tell you one thing right now, and you think about it: The cops show up at this kid’s place. They tell him that his brother is dead because of the case he informed on, to you. And you’re not there. What is that kid gonna think?”

“That I hung him out to dry,” Mandy replied. “That I gave up his brother.”

Warrick nodded. “That’s what I’d think,” he said. “He won’t ever forgive you for that. Not ever.”

Mandy nodded. “Thanks Warrick,” she said, standing up. “I love Nick, but he tries to baby me too much sometimes.”

Warrick stood up too, way taller than her. “Sometimes people just need to hear it the way it is,” he said. “And Nick, he didn’t grow up the way I did. He’s got no experience with that except what he sees on the job.”

Mandy walked into the hall and looked at Nick. “Let’s go,” she said.

“Thanks man,” she heard Nick say to Warrick behind her.

 

Nick drove, and Mandy just sat in the passenger’s seat hoping that the drive would take forever. Maybe there would be traffic. A car accident? A natural disaster of some kind blocking their way?

Sofia was waiting for them outside when they got there. She’d just been put back on duty, and when she heard about Matteo she volunteered to deliver the news. Gabe had met her at football night, so it would be familiar faces all around. Would that make it easier somehow?

Nick didn’t ask if Mandy was ready. He didn’t say anything to her. He just shut the SUV off, got out and leaned against the hood waiting for her. Sofia got out and joined him.

Don’t be such a baby Mandy, just get it over with, she thought. Like pulling a Band-Aid, just get ‘er done. She jumped out of the car and followed them toward the house.

It was still early. Gabe would be getting ready for school.

Sofia knocked on the door. Mandy hoped no one would answer. Maybe they were out of town. Then another thought occurred to her that hadn’t yet: maybe they’re dead too. Gangs like to do that kind of stuff: Kill you and everyone you ever loved. Mafia style.

Mandy stood behind Nick and Sofia wrining her hands, hoping she could hide there somehow. Teresa opened the door, looking tired. It had been a while since Mandy had seen her, and Gabe’s mother looked much older. Her dark eyes seemed set deeper into her face and they were ringed with dark circles. The cotton dress she wore was clean, but worn. Mandy knew they didn’t have a ton of money. The woman was somewhere in her 40’s, but looked more like she was over 50. No doubt her eldest son’s new extra curriculars had been wearing her down.

“Hello,” Sofia greeted in her firm but kind voice. “Mrs. Hernandez?”

“Yes, that’s me,” Teresa said warily in her accented English, eyes flitting to Sofia’s badge.

“My name is Sofia, I’m with the police department. Is your son home?”

Teresa’s eyes narrowed. “Matteo is not here,” she replied. “What’s he done now?”

“What about your younger son?” Sofia asked.

“Gabe?” Teresa was taken aback, suddenly panicky. “Gabe hasn’t done anything. I’m sure you’re looking for Matteo.” She looked over at Nick, and spotted Mandy in behind them. “Mandy?”

“Is Gabe home?” Mandy managed to get out, proud of herself for her steadiness. She moved to stand between Sofia and Nick. He pressed against her side and she knew that he wanted to hold her.

“Gabriel!” Teresa shouted back into the house. Then she asked Mandy: “What’s this all about?”

“Can we come inside Mrs. Hernandez?” Sofia asked.

Teresa led them into the living room. The air smelled stale, but the room was tidy and clean. The furniture was well worn, but spoke of a cozy family home.

Gabe came into the living room, surprised to see a room full of familiar faces. “Hey guys, what’s up?” He asked. There was a confused grin on his face that made Mandy’s chest ache.

“Have a seat Gabe,” Sofia gestured that he should sit next to his mother.

Once they were all seated, Sofia began. She’d done this a million times before. Even Nick had done this before. But it was Mandy’s first time.

“Mrs. Hernandez, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but your son Matteo was killed last night,” Sofia just got right to the point. Maybe that was for the best. What would dancing around it do for anyone? It wouldn’t make it hurt less.

Gabe’s grin faded into shock and then sadness and then anger. His eyes were searching around in front of him as though he might be able to see the reason for what was happening there.

Teresa had started to cry. “You’re sure it’s…” she took a moment to compose herself. “…sure it’s my Matteo?”

“He had ID on him,” Sofia said, “and we checked his fingerprints.”

Teresa started to sob.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Sofia said, reaching over and taking Teresa’s hand.

“What happened?” Gabe asked, his voice cold, still looking away from them.

Nick took over. “He was shot in the back,” Nick said. “We think it may have been gang related.” He left out the fact that Matteo’s own black casino chip had been shoved down his throat after he’d been killed. 

Gabe’s jaw clenched. Teresa reached out for him, but he stood up and walked out the front door, slamming the screen behind him.

Mandy got up and followed him. He was sitting on the front step and she almost tripped right over him, but caught herself in time and sat down next to him.

“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” He asked.

“Nope,” she answered. “Nothing to do with you.”

“But I told you-”

“You were a protected informant,” Mandy said. “Only me and Nick knew it was you.”

“I know he was shitty, but he was still my brother,” Gabe said, running his hands through his hair.

“It’s ok to not be ok,” Mandy said. Great advice that she wished she could take. She wanted to put her arm around his shoulder, but she didn’t know if that’s what he needed so she just sat with him. Warrick was right, she just needed to be there.

Gabe reached over and hugged her tight, wrapping his lanky arms around her shoulders. She opened her arms and held him close to her. It didn’t occur to her until that moment, but Gabe reminded her of her own brother. He was young and fragile and naïve. Gabe shook, and she felt his tears fall onto her shoulder, but he didn’t make a noise.

 

 

It was procedure for the family to ID the body, and Nick had volunteered to take Teresa and Gabe down to the morgue.

Mandy waited until the SUV had turned the corner before she went back into her house. The moment she stepped through the door exhaustion dropped on her like a weight. But before she could sleep there was something she had to do.

Ben had left behind half a bottle of rye or so from the football game, and she poured some generously over ice. Sweating glass in hand she went into the backyard and sat in the shade, looking at her barren box of dirt. The number cued up to dial, she took a long drink from the glass, ice clinking against her teeth, and felt the cold burn all the way to her stomach. Then she hit dial.

The phone rang and rang, and she thought maybe if he didn’t pick up she wouldn’t have to be emotional today, and she could just keep storing it all up inside until one day she exploded.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Hey bro,” she said, her voice catching.

“Mandy!” Justin replied. “It’s great to hear from you. What’s going on?”

What’s going on? Her mind flashed back to holding Gabe on his front step after they’d told him his brother was dead. What would it mean to lose your only sibling?

“Mandy?” Justin broke through her thoughts.

“I was just-” Her voice broke, and she swigged back more of her drink, thinking it would cut a burning path through the emotion swelling in her throat.

“Are you ok?” Justin was suddenly serious. “What’s going on?”

“I was just thinking that it’s been a while,” she said. “Can’t I call my little brother out of the blue?”

“Course you can,” Justin said, “but you sound upset, what’s going on?”

“It’s been a long shitty day,” she said.

“Day’s just starting,” Justin said. For those who worked regular hours it was just starting. She envied him that: just having woken up to a bright new day.

Mandy threw back the rest of her drink, ice cubes clinking against each other in the glass.

“Mandy seriously,” Justin said, “tell me what’s up. Is Ben being a dick again? Shitty boyfriend?”

Mandy laughed, and it felt good, but it also roused guilt in her that she should be laughing when Gabe was down at the morgue looking at his dead brother. “Ben’s always being a dick,” she said.

“So, shitty boyfriend then?” He asked. “If he hurt you I’ll come down there myself.”

Before she addressed that comment, she was going to tell him what was really going on. They weren’t an emotional family, never had been, but if she was going to talk to anyone about this it was going to be Justin. “I had to tell a kid today that his brother was dead,” Mandy said. It felt good just to say it out loud to someone outside of the situation. Someone who didn’t know Gabe, didn’t know about the Perro Malo.

“Holy shit,” Justin replied. “That’s heavy. I thought you didn’t do that kind of stuff. Just the sciencey crap.”

“Normally I don’t,” she admitted, “but I was involved in this case and I kinda knew the kid. And I got to thinking about how I hadn’t talked to my own brother in way too long, and here we are.”

“Are you ok?” He asked, and it didn’t sound right coming from him. So much so that she burst out laughing and doubled over in her chair.

“What?” Justin asked.

“Nothing, nothing,” she said, attempting to control herself. “Your concern is touching baby brother. Do you have some time to talk?”

“Yeah I do.” A pause. “You know, I miss you too Mandy,” he said seriously, though she hadn’t actually said that she missed him. “I notice you avoided my question about the shitty boyfriend, so why don’t we start there?”

 

 

Surrounded by half full boxes Mandy sat on the floor of Nick’s new living room. The ceiling soared overhead, and the dining room light was on low, giving her the impression that the ceiling wasn’t there at all. She leaned against the couch, which was also stacked with boxes, and gazed up like she was watching the night’s sky. 

They’d been moving things around all day and it felt like they hadn’t made any progress, despite the help from Warrick, Greg and Sara. Nick was at the door paying the pizza guy.

“What’s on your mind?” Nick asked as he joined her on the floor, pizza box perched on an unpacked box. Thank god they liked the same toppings. She’d have lost all respect if he was a pineapple on pizza kinda guy.

Mandy held up her hands to make a frame on the large wall of the living room. “I’m thinking 60 inches would look great right there,” she said, “perfect for football and maybe even some video games.”

Nick grimaced. “I don’t know.”

“Yeah you do. Come on. Animal Planet in 60 inches? Lions stalking across the savanna? You’ll feel like you’re right there,” she said, flipping open the pizza box and grabbing a slice. “Oh! Wait! I got you something.” She hopped up from the floor and ran to the fridge. Nobody ever buys groceries on their first day in a new house, so she knew it would stay a surprise, hidden behind the case of beer they’d stuffed in that morning. She pulled the bottle out and returned to the floor. 

“Happy house warming,” she said, handing him the champagne.

Nick took the bottle, and deftly popped the cork into his hand without spilling a drop. “Did we unpack the glasses yet?” He asked.

Mandy shook her head. “It’s ok, I don’t have cooties,” she said.

“Pizza, and champagne straight from the bottle,” Nick mused tipping the bottle up for the first sip, “I’m pretty sure this is against some kinda rule.”

“Of course the southern gentleman would be thinking about rules of etiquette while eating pizza on the floor. Who cares?” Mandy asked, taking the proffered bottle and swigging back some herself. The cold bubbles tickled down her throat.

“I got you somethin’ too,” Nick said softly. 

“Ok, so I don’t think you understand how a housewarming gift works,” Mandy replied, grabbing another piece of pizza. “The person who buys the house gets the gift.”

Nick reached into his pocket and handed her a key. “Mi casa es su casa,” he said.

It shouldn’t have meant so much. He’d had a key to her place for a month, but she found it touching. In all the hubbub to get things ready and move into his house he’d gone out of his way to make her a key. He’d thought of her during all that.

“Thanks tiger,” she replied, dropping her slice of pizza back into the box, pulling out her key ring and adding the new addition.

“Tiger?” He breathed into her ear. “I don’t mind that one.” He let out a quiet rumbling growl and nibbled on her ear lobe.

Her body responded, tingling from the bottom up. As arousal coursed up through her it awakened with it all the sore muscles from her day of physical labor. He continued nipping down her neck toward her shoulder, accompanying the bites with cute little growls, his ridiculous mustache tickling her skin. She turned and opened her mouth to his, tasting the sweet champagne mixed with his own flavor. Gently running his fingers through her hair she shivered. She loved when he did that, it felt so good and gave her goosebumps every time. Their kisses became more intense until finally he slowed down and then withdrew, licking her top lip as he sat back.

He left his hand wrapped around the back of her neck, still tickling the side of her throat with his thumb.

“I’m really sorry baby,” he said softly, “but I think I’m too tired to do anything but sleep tonight.”

Mandy relaxed back against the couch. “Thank Christ,” she exhaled loudly, and playfully slapped his chest. “I am so tired I don’t think I could stand up right now. Let’s christen the house tomorrow.”

Nick smiled with relief, dropped his hand from her neck, and leaned up against the couch beside her, taking a piece of pizza in hand and swigging from the bottle again before passing it back to her. It was so comforting to have his heat next to her. Better than a massage or a hot bath, the waves of warmth coming off him let her muscles all loosen up and relax. Another drink from the bottle and the crisp sweet liquor washed down to her stomach. Hopefully it would help to dull the aches in her muscles.

They sat for a few minutes staring at the wall and eating pizza in an exhausted daze.

“What’s goin’ on in your head?” Nick asked through a mouthful.

“I’m just pretending that I’m watching the Seahawks beat the Cowboys in 60 inches,” she said.

“Fat chance,” Nick replied.

“Says the guy who currently has the worst facial hair in the history of time because the Cowboys just couldn’t close the deal,” she said. Then added hopefully: “Has it been a month yet?”

“Still a ways to go I’m afraid,” he replied. “I actually don’t mind it. Might keep it once this is all over.”

“I’m going to tie you up and shave it myself,” Mandy replied.

“I believe you,” Nick smiled.

The silence crept in again and Mandy continued to stare at the wall. It was a comfortable silence that didn’t need to be filled with anything, but something was itching at the back of her mind that she couldn’t let go.

“Does it ever bother you when you don’t solve a case?” Mandy asked, looking over for his reaction.

Nick frowned a little and nodded. “Course. But you can’t solve every case,” he said. “One’a the things Griss taught me early is that sometimes there just ain’t enough evidence. You can’t do anything with no evidence.”

“But how can you know that you didn’t miss something?” Mandy asked. “When there’s so much evidence and even the tiniest little detail could break the case? How can you focus on anything else when you’re just thinking that maybe there’s something sitting in an evidence box, or something that didn’t get collected on site that could have made the difference?”

“Are you thinkin’ ‘bout Matteo’s case?” Nick asked solemnly.

Mandy nodded.

“We went through everything we had,” Nick tried to reassure her. “The whole team was on it. If there was something there, one of us would have spotted it. You saw the report. Perro Malo knew we were onto them and they were cleaning up. Matteo’s own chip was stuffed halfway down his throat. If that ain’t a message I don’t know what is.”

“That’s not satisfying. How can you just leave it at that?” She asked. “When this case almost got you killed? You were chasing it for months.”

Nick shrugged. “Gotta learn to let go in this business,” he said. “If you can’t, you’re not gonna last long. You’re never gonna solve ‘em all.”

Mandy tried to smile and failed miserably. Just let go. “But it’s really hard to do.” She thought about Gabe. He’d never have any answers, any justice. He deserved better than that.

“It takes practice,” he said, “but you’ll get there.”

“I don’t want practice,” she pouted. “I want to go back to running prints and not caring about who they’re attached to.”

Nick put his arm around her shoulder, and pulled her snug against him. “It’s over Mandy,” he said it with such certainty that she felt a little better.

She turned to put her hand on his chest and snuggle into that place just under his chin where she fit so well.

 

Nick faded back to the waking world, slowly leaving sleep behind. They hadn’t hung the blackout curtains in the bedroom yet, and warm sunlight was speckling the floor, filtered through tree branches. Nick breathed in deep, stretching his chest open as the air filled his body up.

No nightmares. He’d had a full night’s sleep in his own home with no nightmares. The high white ceiling overhead seemed miles away, and he smiled wide. 

Heavy breathing beside him drew his attention, and he turned his head to see Mandy laying there. She’d convinced him to get the King size bed and he wasn’t sure why. They never slept far from each other and the extra room on either side of them stretched out like no man’s land. Curled up on his arm, her hair had fallen into her eyes like it almost always did. Her pouty lips were slightly parted, and she sighed in and out little puffs of breath.

Unable to restrain himself, he reached out and moved the hair from her eyes tucking it gently behind her ear. A low moan escaped her lips, which stretched into a yawn. She flopped onto her back and slowly stretched her arms overhead. When she finally opened her eyes she immediately trained them on Nick.

“This is the best bed ever,” she said, stretching her legs out long under the covers, and opening her mouth wide for another yawn. Once she’d finished stretching she rolled back to throw an arm over his bare torso.

They’d been so tired when they finally stumbled into the bedroom that Nick had just stripped naked and crawled into bed. Mandy had grabbed a t-shirt from his bag and thrown it on; She hated the way their bodies stuck together when they slept against each other all night, but refused to sacrifice the closeness.

Mandy started to tickle her fingers around his chest and stomach, looking for a spot that might be ticklish. When she found one, he did his best not to flinch. It was like staying still to avoid a predator. Eventually she hit the jackpot and he doubled up with a shriek, grabbing her arm and pulling her up against him to get her to stop.

And just like that their bodies were pressed together, only the thin fabric of the t-shirt separating their skin. Nick looked into her eyes, still sleepy and heavily lidded, but warm and full of excitement. He could wake up to that every day and never get tired of it.

Nick kissed her forehead, then her cheek, her earlobe, her neck; He avoided her lips because of his morning breath, but he didn’t want to get up and brush his teeth. All he wanted was Mandy, and his body agreed.

While he was focused on nuzzling at her throat, he felt Mandy’s hand slide down between them. The moment her fingers touched him, all of his muscles tensed and he groaned with need against her throat.

Nick tugged at the shirt that was between them, but it was trapped between her body and the bed. Reluctant to break their contact, he snaked his hands up the bottom of the shirt, pulling her body toward him while he ground his hips against the slow and torturous motions of her fingers. She slowed her movements and removed her hand so she could sit up and take the shirt off. The moment it hit the floor Nick leaped on her and began to kiss her neck again, moving slowly down to her collarbone and then continued his route south. The soft responsive skin of her breasts was a little salty with dried sweat, and he savored each lick, the tip of his tongue causing her to writhe.

She tried to reach down again with her fingers, but he’d moved too far for her to reach. It didn’t matter to him, kissing and touching her body, causing the noises that he elicited from her, that was enough to get him excited.

Her hips bucked against him while he found her ticklish places and exploited them, holding her down with his strong hands. Once she finally broke out in screeching laughter and begged him to stop he moved on and gently pushed her thighs apart so he could settle between them. He breathed softly against her, teasing and running his hands up and down her thighs. The smell of her body was intoxicating and he couldn’t restrain himself. The first taste was always his favorite: Intense and overpowering, it made him feel drunk, and it always sent shivers up her body that ended with a shaky moan. He switched it up, making each time different, and yet that first touch was always the same for her. 

She was already excited for him, and it wasn’t long before the touch of his tongue set her panting and twisting under his mouth.

Nick paused to prop himself up on his elbows and look at her writhing, her hands tangled in her own hair, eyes closed. While he watched her, he caressed her with his fingers and she bucked her hips against his hand. He could tell by the look on her face that she was close to the edge, and he didn’t want anything but to cause all that pleasure for her. 

So he laid back on his stomach, wrapped his arms under each of her knees and laid his hands flat across her stomach to keep her in place. Knowing her body as well as he did, he knew exactly where to set his mouth to bring her to climax. Before she was finished, she planted her feet on either side of him and attempted to push away from him, but his hands held her deftly in place and he was so excited by the sounds that issued from her that he moaned into her body pushing her over the edge.

He crawled up toward her while her spasms subsided. Once she was finished she opened her eyes and pulled him down for a passionate kiss. The taste of her body mingled in their mouths, which turned him on even more.

Mandy broke away from him and licked her lips. “How do you want me?” She breathed out, chest still heaving from exertion.

Nick was too excited to answer, his brain wasn’t working anymore.

Mandy rolled to her knees. “What say we try out this new headboard?” She said, kneeling in front of him, her hands gripping the headboard.

Nick couldn’t move for a moment as he looked at the sexiest woman he could imagine, kneeling in front of him, her legs spread to make room for him. 

It wasn’t going to last long, and he was glad he’d made her come already. In an attempt to draw it out, he ran his hands from her calves, up the back of her thighs. Sliding between her legs he sighed out a content shiver as soon as they connected. Unable to control himself, he grabbed her hips and pulled her back toward him, forcing a surprised gasp from her.

Nick immediately loosened his grip, thinking maybe it had been too much for her. “Was that ok?” He asked, hearing the raw excitement mixed with concern in his own voice. He barely recognized the sound of himself.

Mandy looked back over her shoulder, hair brushing her back. “It felt really, really good,” she said. He could see in her eyes that she meant it, and she watched over her shoulder as he took a tight grip on her hips again and pulled himself against her. Her eyes rolled up in her head before they closed, and she began to loudly moan in time to his movements. 

Each time he moved away from her, he could feel the grip her body had taken on his own and it was almost too much to bear but still he didn’t break. The feeling stirring in him was slowly becoming sharper and sharper, his movements faster and faster until Mandy’s moans devolved into a string of words she repeated over and over in no particular order: “Oh God. Yes. Please. Nick. So good.”

Finally he doubled over her with pleasure, his chest against her back as he called out her name against her sweat slick skin.

Mandy continued to rock back against him, and he knew from experience that she was close to a second climax. He sat back on his heels and pulled her into his lap so she was straddling his legs. He wrapped his hands around her hips to hold her in place and used his fingers to keep her going. 

His lips soft against her ear he whispered the things he knew would get her even more excited. “Does it feel good? Make noise for me baby.”

He knew her body well, and it didn’t take long for his fingers to bring her to her second orgasm.

They collapsed onto the bed together. Mandy lay flat on her back and Nick wrapped himself around her. Exhausted they fell back to sleep.


	14. Teased

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick has a visitor at the lab that makes him think maybe he's finally moving on from being buried alive.
> 
> Honestly this chapter is almost exclusively smut... there's very little "plot" involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should also point out that I've kinda been following the original air dates of the episodes as the structure for this ridiculous story that's gotten way out of hand... so we're leading up to Christmas here... so... yeah... I know I'm posting this at the wrong time of year... but I'm just trying to follow along with the series.

Mandy couldn’t stop kissing him. And she never wanted to. Sitting in his lap, mouths open to each other he tasted like strong coffee with a little sugar, and the smell of his aftershave surrounded her. Each time he reached up to put his hands under her shirt, or tried to unbutton her jeans she didn’t even stop kissing, just said “nope” through his open lips. Sure, she was turned on, but she didn’t want to have sex, she just wanted to kiss him forever, it felt so good.

Finally Nick grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back. She fought the pressure from his hands until he put some real force behind it and pushed her backward. She whined in response.

“Look,” he said with grin. “I know you’re excited, but I can’t get all riled up like this and then go into work.”

She reached out and ran a finger over his bare upper lip. “That was the longest month of my life,” she said. “Just a little more?”

“Alright,” he said sternly, “but you gotta sit back a little farther sweet pea. Right now you are in just the right spot get me all hot and bothered.”

“Ooo, hot and bothered?” She said snarkily as she slid her butt backward to the edge of his knees, making sure to keep steady pressure on him the entire way. She almost felt bad for being such a tease. Almost.

“How much time we got?” Nick asked hungrily.

“Not enough,” Mandy replied, leaning down and kissing him again. This time he put his hands up into her hair, gripping the back of her neck and pulling her to him.

 

Nick was crawling around the trunk of a car trying not to think about the curve of Mandy’s hip, or her soft lips on his own, when he heard his name over the lab intercom.

“Nick Stokes you have a visitor in reception.”

A visitor? Strange. Anybody who would visit him at the lab had access and could just come find him.

Just before he climbed out of the trunk he noticed a bit of tissue in the corner with some hairs still attached. He plucked it out, deposited it into an evidence envelope and labeled it.

“Nick Stokes you have a visitor in reception.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m comin’,” he said to the speaker above him. He handed the sample off to Hodges and headed for the front desk still wearing his coveralls.

New receptionist, he couldn’t remember her name. “I, uh, have a visitor?” He asked her.

The receptionist indicated the seats behind him and he turned and stopped in his tracks.

Kelly Gordon stood up and nervously put her hands in her pockets. Here she was: The reason he’d been buried alive, standing in front of him, out of prison. He swallowed hard. What did she want from him? He’d given her his forgiveness, and let her know that it wasn’t her fault. But he didn’t have anything else for her.

She talked and he responded to her, but it was automatic and he didn’t put much thought into what he said. She told him that she’d thought a lot about what he’d said, about not taking it with her, and then she left.

Nick walked back to the garage, leaned against the car he was processing and took a deep breath. It was an easier breath than he’d expected. He’d gotten so used to breaking down, so used to being fragile when it came to anything that reminded him of being in that damn box. But he was thinking clearly and he felt right as rain. Maybe this was all done, and she could move on with her life now, and so could he. Maybe it was over.

Nick turned back to the car and turned his focus back to the case: there was a missing kid to find and each minute that he wasted was a minute that kid wasn’t found.

 

Nick’s house was empty and dark. It was still morning, so it wasn’t exactly dark with the daylight streaming in, but everything was turned off: no lights, no TV, no sounds. After the strange end to the kidnapping case, he was definitely ready for some peace and quiet. There were some days when the combination of Greg and Hodges brought out the worst in him. At least he had Warrick to help keep him sane.

Nick grabbed a beer from the fridge, and went out into his backyard. Reclined in a chair, he looked up through the tree branches, the sunlight lighting up the leaves a bright green. The cold bottle in his hand was sweating cool condensation onto his fingers. A little bit of wind rustled through the leaves and he closed his eyes to listen to the wonderful quiet.

The simple things in life, that’s all he wanted: A home with a nice yard, a fulfilling job, and maybe one day a family of his own. Until then he had his family at work.

And he had Mandy. Things had gotten a little weird between them since he’d moved, but they were still headed in the right direction. They’d become so used to always being around each other while he was staying with her, that now they didn’t really seem to know where they stood anymore. Nick had his new house, Mandy had her own house; The unspoken agreement they had to see each other every day had faded once he’d moved. Should he show up unannounced at her place? Did he expect her to come to his place all the time now? He felt like they were going backwards and he wasn’t sure exactly how to fix it.

Nick’s phone rang, and he took a swig of his beer before he looked at the screen, praying it wasn’t work. It was Mandy.

“Hey sweet pea,” he answered.

“Hey Tex,” she replied, “whatcha doin’?”

“Havin’ a brew in my very own backyard,” he said, smiling as he looked around the yard.

“Finally got outta there?” She asked, referring to the lab. She’d left on time, but Nick had still been working the missing kid case.

“Finally,” he sighed. “I just got home.”

“I know,” she said.

“And how would you know that?” He asked.

“I heard you come inside,” she admitted. Then she changed the tone of her voice, putting on a faux scary rasp: “The call is coming from inside the house.”

Nick got up, and went back inside. “Where are you?” He asked, smiling as he walked back toward the bedrooms.

“Well, I was trying to surprise you by waiting for you in bed,” she said and he could hear her voice in stereo as he got closer to his bedroom, “but I got tired of waiting.”

The bedroom door was slightly ajar. He pushed it open the rest of the way and leaned against the doorway. Mandy lay in his bed surrounded by mounds of pillows and on top of the puffy duvet she’d convinced him to buy. She wasn’t wearing fancy lingerie, it just wasn’t her style, but there was some lace around the edges of her bra and underwear and it was a matching set. Her glasses were already set aside on the nightstand. She held her phone to her ear.

“I’m afraid I have to let you go darlin’,” he still spoke into his phone.

She pouted for him, meeting his eyes while she talked back into her phone. “Well that’s bullshit,” she said, “I just called you. You could at least talk to me for a few minutes.”

Nick smiled, ended the call, and dropped his cell on the nightstand. He set his beer next to the phone and crawled onto the bed.

“Dude!” She scoffed. “He just hung up on me. So rude.” She tossed her phone off the edge of the bed, and pulled him in to kiss her. She tasted like apples today. Pink lady apples. And he couldn’t get enough, pushing his way into her mouth to take the sweet flavor into himself. 

Since he’d shaved his mustache, she loved kissing him and they could probably have stayed that way for hours, but Nick pulled back and lay his head into the pillows so he could look at her. Brown hair in her eyes, moist delicious lips, flushed cheeks, fiery brown eyes. This girl was so much more than he could have ever dreamed up. And she’d been right in front of his eyes for more than five years. How had he missed her? He looked up and down her body, wanting to kiss each of her curves and nibble at the places he knew she liked. He ran his hand back into her hair, leaving it to rest on her cheek, his fingers tickling softly behind her ear while he ran his thumb along her lower lip. He loved the feel of her lips.

She opened her mouth and used her tongue to guide his thumb inside twirling her tongue around it and sucking it gently until he pulled it back out slick with her saliva. Immediately he was excited and had to seriously resist the urge to have his way with her.

“What’s on your mind Tex?” She asked.

“I was just thinkin’ about how we’re gonna be interrupted soon,” he said.

“You can see the future now? I wish I would have known about that before,” she joked. “Do you know tomorrow’s winning lottery numbers?” Before he could say anything she continued, more serious: “Sorry, I didn’t know you had plans. I was trying to be impulsive and cute.”

Nick leaned forward and kissed her again, tasting the salt his thumb had left behind mixed with her apples. When he tried to pull back she followed and shifted her body so she had a leg over his hip and was rubbing up against him in just the right way.

“Don’t we have any time?” She gasped out before resuming her kisses.

Nick groaned against her, but pushed her back, far enough that he could speak. He rested his forehead against hers.

“I don’t think so,” he said. “Gabe’s gonna be here any minute.”

“Gabe?” She asked, laying back into the pillows.

“Yeah,” Nick replied. “It’s Sunday. I pay him to do yard work for me on Sundays, and I’m hoping he’ll help me hang some Christmas lights.”

“Uncool!” Mandy said, grabbing a pillow and slapping him hard across the face with it. “That’s my thing! When is he going to take care of my yard?”

Nick wrestled the pillow from her fingers and when she continued to fight against him he pinned her hands above her head, a knee between her legs to keep her from slipping away from him. If she got away she’d definitely continue to attack him with pillows.

“I thought you said we didn’t have any time for the kinky stuff,” she said as she darted her tongue forward and licked his lips. Now she was just being a tease.

It was getting really hard not to think about sex, and his body wasn’t backing down.

“Such a tease,” he replied, “and your yard takes, what, a whole five minutes to water and cut?” Before he let her go he pressed his thigh up between her legs in just the right spot, making her squirm and gasp.

Then he jumped up off the bed, grabbed his beer and headed back for the living room, hoping that he had time to think about tying his bootlaces before the kid showed up. “Best get dressed if you want to be decent when he gets here,” Nick advised, drinking from the bottle. 

Then he stopped and poked his head back into the bedroom. She was starting to get dressed, hopping around to try to get her feet through the legs of her jeans. “It wasn’t cute,” he said, trying to sound serious.

Mandy stopped jumping, turned to look at him and almost toppled over.

Her eyes were narrowed and she was opening her mouth to reply, but he spoke up before she could. “It was really hot baby,” he added, before heading back to the living room. Hopefully he’d been able to get her just as excited as he was. Then they’d be even.

Nick settled back into his chair in the back yard to wait for Mandy to finish getting dressed and Gabe to ring the doorbell. He sipped at his beer and started to think about tying his bootlaces, a surefire way to dampen his excitement. If he got really desperate he would actually grab his boots, untie the laces and retie them until he was good to go. Or not go as the case may be.

Mandy joined him in the yard with a beer of her own. “Cute as you might think these things are, they are giving me one hell of a wedgie,” Mandy complained as she pulled at her underwear.

“When I take ‘em off you later I’ll rip ‘em accidentally so you don’t have to wear ‘em again,” Nick offered, raising an eyebrow.

“Would you?” Mandy asked, genuinely excited at the prospect.

Nick held up his bottle as a toast, and Mandy clinked her bottle against his.

“That’s why I love you Tex,” she said before taking a large drink from the bottle.

Love. He watched her drink: The way she held the bottle with her lips, and pressed them together when she lowered the bottle and swallowed. They’d only been dating three months, but he’d known her for so many years. It didn’t feel too soon to say love; To be love. Warrick tried to tell him they were moving too fast, but Nick didn’t take that advice seriously from the guy who hadn’t even known his wife for a year before they got married. Hypocrite.

 

 

Nick closed the door and turned to find Mandy standing behind him. Finally they were alone. 

Gabe had only stayed for a couple hours, but Nick had spent the entire time completely distracted by Mandy’s underwear; When she bent over to grab a box of decorations from the floor and they peeked over the top of her jeans, or when he’d catch her wiggling to try and change their location. But now they were alone at last.

“Let me get you out of those things,” Nick growled as he backed her into the wall and began unbuttoning her jeans while he kissed her. Immediately she responded, pushing her body against his and making it difficult for him to pop the button on her pants.

She ran her hands through his hair and tugged at it urgently while she moaned into his mouth. He’d been aroused all night, and now he pinned her to the wall with his need, his body unable to control itself. When her jeans fell to the floor she stepped out of them hurriedly and kicked them aside.

Nick stopped and took his hands off her, setting them against the wall. He removed his mouth from hers, his lips wet with her saliva and set his forehead against the wall just above her shoulder. He was panting heavily, and it felt like his whole body was throbbing, sending all of his blood in one direction. Her neck was so close to his lips, he could taste her with one flick of his tongue, but he restrained himself. The constant wanting her for the last few hours had him so close to the edge already and he was still fully clothed. He wanted to slow down and make things last.

“Nick?” Mandy gasped, her body vibrating against him as she took in hurried breaths. “What’s wrong?”

“I am really excited,” Nick said slowly.

“I’m confused,” Mandy said. “What’s the problem?”

“At this rate I’ll be done before you get me outta these clothes,” he laughed into her ear.

“I guess I’d better be quick then,” she replied as she reached down, flipped open his belt buckle and undid his belt.

Nick kept his hands against the wall, feeling prepared to be frisked by PD; His legs apart, his hands spread wide on the wall.

She undid the button on his pants and let them fall to the floor, causing dangerous friction on their way down.

They’d been dating for three months and he still hadn’t figured out what exactly it was about her that kept him feeling and acting like a teenage boy.

Putting her hands just above the waistband of his underwear she ran her fingers up his stomach, causing his muscles there to twitch where she tickled him, and slowly pulled his shirt up until he lifted his arms and pulled it off over his head. He immediately placed his hands back against the wall and tried to steady his breathing. He was failing miserably as she let her hands linger on his torso, drawing circles with her fingertips.

She turned her head toward him and he felt her warm breath on his ear. “Your move Tex,” she said softly, finishing with a soft, wet, warm lick to his earlobe.

His muscles quivered all at once and sprang to action without listening to what he wanted. Nick grabbed her hips and lifted her, pinning her to the wall with his body, causing a pleased squeal to come out of her. Once she had wrapped her legs around his hips, he backed up from the wall and carried her to the bedroom.

Just before he lay her on the bed, she pulled the t-shirt off over her head and threw it to the floor. Nick lowered her as gently as he could to the mattress and tried to back up, but she held him there with her legs, raising her hips up to meet his.

Nick ran his hands back into her hair and kissed her hard and messy, his body starting to lose control. As he pressed down on her, her legs released, and she put her arms around his neck.

He pulled back and slid to the edge of the bed, where her legs dangled, and settled his knees to the floor. With little thought he grabbed her underwear and tore at them. They were flimsy little things meant to be pretty, not practical, and the lace and thin cotton tore easily under his frantic hands, biting into her hip and finally ripping. He slid the remnants from her body and threw them over his shoulder.

Mandy sat up on her elbows and looked down at him her chest heaving with excitement. “Ok that was really, really fucking hot,” she breathed out.

Nick smiled and hoped that it looked as devious as he felt as he slipped his hands under her thighs, grabbed her hips and slid her to the edge of the bed eliciting another excited shriek from her.

Her body was more than ready for him, but he had other plans. He wanted to cause her so much pleasure that she would beg for him, telling him exactly what she wanted, calling out his name over and over.

So he spread her thighs around him and pulled her hips toward him as he tasted her body. Just like always that first touch of his tongue electrified her body and coaxed a wild moan from her. And then he lost control of what he was doing and used his tongue to trace every place he knew she loved; Every spot that made her lose control. 

With every noise she let out, each moan that ended in those little squeaks he loved, he grew more and more aroused. The first time she climaxed, he didn’t let up, holding her hips tight and letting her writhe and buck around him.

When she finally called out: “Too much… I can’t take it… please stop,” he pulled himself back, but it took all the restraint he could muster.

Gasping he sat back on his heels and watched her, waiting for her to settle back down to the mattress, ready for another round. He kept his hands on her knees, desperate to keep contact with her.

“Holy fuck,” she moaned out, still overcome with sensation, her body shaking. He could feel the aftershocks traveling through her where his hands met her skin. “What’s gotten into you today?”

He didn’t answer.

Once her breathing had returned to normal she sat up and looked at him, expecting that he would join her on the bed, and when she tried to pull her legs back and shift to the middle of the mattress, instead he renewed his grip on her beautiful soft hips and pulled her back to his mouth.

After that first orgasm, her flavor had intensified and he immersed himself in it. This time he moved more quickly, hoping to get her right back up there as soon as he could manage.

“Nick!” She moaned out. “Oh my God Nick!” With each word she said he only got more and more excited and his hips started to move in rhythm with the motions of his mouth. 

She was getting close again, and he looked up to watch as she grabbed handfuls of the duvet to hold while her body tightened up to prepare for the pleasure that would wash over her. He changed his position and moved more quickly, darting his tongue inside her body. Her feet climbed from the floor, to his hips, and up his sides until her toes were gripping his shoulders, her hips struggling against his strong arms to rise up off the mattress. But he held her tightly down.

“Nick! Oh God! I’m coming Nick!” She called out, and the sound of those words sent Nick over the edge. Kneeled on the floor, submerged in the smell and taste of her body, hearing her call out his name, feeling her body shake and shudder around him, Nick climaxed. He straightened up, still on his knees, grabbed her body and pulled her hard against him, burying his face in her stomach and groaning into her soft skin.

Tasting her sweat slick stomach, he panted against her, feeling her stomach rise and fall as her breathing returned to normal. Her fingers ran through his hair and massaged his scalp, giving him goose bumps that traveled down his spine and immediately released the tightness in all of his muscles.

And then she started laughing. The rolling vibration in her stomach travelled up until she was giggling and convulsing underneath him. Nick pressed up to his elbows on the bed and looked at her.

“What’s so funny?” He asked, still a little out of breath.

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” she said through subsiding giggles, “but did you just come?” She looked down at him, barely lifting her head off the mattress.

Nick nodded. “Afraid so,” he admitted, feeling a little embarrassed. Once again, he felt like a teenager.

“Ok,” she continued, “just so I understand what’s going on here: you were so turned on by going down on me that you actually came?”

Nick nodded again, losing confidence by the second as she continued to giggle.

“That’s the sexiest thing that has ever happened to me,” she said, still laughing. But he could tell by her tone that it was some sort of frantic laughter, not that she was laughing at him.

“I’ll give you something to laugh about,” Nick said, running his hands up her sides to find a spot that would drive her crazy.

She yelped and backed away from him on the bed toward the pillows, but Nick followed and was soon on top of her using his fingers to make her laugh.

They collapsed in a heap, exhausted and breathless only moments later.

Mandy looked up at him completely serious. “I’m not joking,” she said. “I can’t believe you were that turned on.” Then she smiled and added: “And I would like to point out that it makes you a bit of a tease. I was expecting a very different finale.”

“Gotta keep ya on your toes,” he smiled back at her. “And now I have to get up.” He tried to pull his arm out from under her, but she held him tighter.

“No,” she whined. “You can’t get up yet.”

“I feel pretty gross right now,” Nick said. “I just wanna get outta these boxers and get cleaned up and I’ll be right back.”

“Oh fine!” She said, letting him go and falling back into the pillows.

When he got back from the bathroom she was asleep already. She hadn’t even gotten under the covers.


	15. All I Want For Christmas Is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy cannot figure out what to get Nick for Christmas - Nick spends a night out with Warrick
> 
> No smut - sorry - fluffy chapter all the way.

“I’m serious Ben,” Mandy said, actually sounding serious. “I have no idea what to do.”

“That’s nice,” Ben said, not really listening, leading her by the hand toward a fancy looking restaurant.

“Come on dude,” Mandy said, stopping in her tracks and causing Ben to stumble and let go of her hand. “You’re not even listening. I told you I needed help and you said you’d help.”

“Yeah, well, I told you to wear a dress tonight,” Ben said, frustrated, motioning to the pants she wore. “We don’t always get what we want.” He grabbed her hand and started dragging her back toward the restaurant. Mandy let herself be dragged. She had agreed to this, after all.

“And you didn’t say dress, you said heels,” she argued as she tottered toward the door holding tight to Ben’s hand in case she fell.

“Heels implies dress,” he said as they reached the door. He stopped and turned toward her, appraising. He smoothed her hair down, running his fingers through it. Then he looked down at her chest and cocked his head to the side. Without warning or permission he grabbed the band of her bra on either side through her shirt and gave it a generous shimmy back and forth to plump up her cleavage. He then tugged at the bottom of her shirt to bring it down a little further.

“Heels does not imply dress,” Mandy argued, completely unphased by his touching. It wasn’t sexual. “Heels look nice with a good pair of pants and a nice top.”

Ben sighed. There was no time for an argument, and she could tell he was giving up. “And you need to pick up some contacts,” he continued, “for the future. Glasses just don’t… work with your face.”

“Really great pep talk,” Mandy scowled. “Thanks Ben.”

He opened the door and immediately they ceased arguing, plastering wide smiles on their faces. It was a Christmas tradition for Ben to show up to his Christmas party with Mandy on his arm, play acting his current girlfriend.

The party was the first time she’d really kept anything from Nick. She didn’t see the harm. But she was pretty sure Nick would lose it if she told him she was going to pretend to be Ben’s girlfriend for the night. So she’d just told him that she was going to be Ben’s date for his Christmas party and that was that.

Ben had a not-so-strict policy of not dating coworkers. He always said it was a strict policy and that he would never sleep around with anyone at the office, but he’d broken that rule several times for somebody he just couldn’t pass up. And it had ended badly. Every single time. So to avoid the temptation at a liquored up event, he usually asked Mandy to accompany him. Owing to the fact that Ben was a stickler for showing up several hours after it would have been fashionably late, no one ever really remembered her, or asked about her afterward.

Mandy followed Ben through the place to the large table at the back crowded with his coworkers. She held tight to his hand and kept an eye on the floor in front of her, trying not to trip or fall on anything. Heels were a bitch when you weren’t used to them.

“Ben!” Someone called out, and Mandy looked up to find that almost everyone was already completely loaded. “Who’s that with you?”

There were about 50 people sitting at a cluster of tables, making a complete mess and a lot of noise.

“This is going to be great,” Mandy whispered in his ear.

“Be nice,” Ben said, “I have to work with these people.”

She almost laughed out loud. Every time she came to one of these things with him, he was the one who made at least three new enemies by saying inappropriate stuff.

“Of course baby,” Mandy cooed in the fake girlfriend voice she’d adopted years ago. It was a mix of valley girl and bimbo supermodel.

Ben cringed. He hated that voice, but he’d put up with it because she was doing him a solid.

They found a seat in the corner. Ben flagged down a waiter.

“Rye on the rocks, keep ‘em coming,” he said.

 

 

Nick picked up the glass of whiskey he’d been nursing. The ice had all melted away, watering down his drink. He didn’t mind, if he did he’d have ordered it neat.

Warrick was sipping at a bottle of beer.

They’d decided to sit BlackJack because Poker required too much concentration and they wanted to talk. It had been a while since they’d just been out to talk. Warrick with his new marriage, and Nick preoccupied with his new house and Mandy. Between all that and never having a night off together they just hadn’t been able to make the time. But that was the thing about real friends, when you had the time they were right there waiting.

“What’s goin’ on with you anyway?” Warrick asked, hitting on a 6 and sipping his beer.

“Just livin’ life,” Nick smiled.

“Mandy working tonight?” Warrick asked.

“Naw,” Nick stayed on a 20. “Went to a Christmas party with a friend of hers.”

“Doesn’t sound like you’re too keen on that,” Warrick replied, busting on 24.

“He’s not my favorite guy,” Nick said, “but they’ve been friends for a long time.”

“Hooo,” Warrick sat back in his seat to let the rest of the table play out. “She went to a party with some guy? You’re right to be upset about that.”

“It’s not like that Warrick,” Nick defended Mandy. “It’s that guy Ben, you remember? From the football game?”

“Yeah I do,” Warrick replied. “Seemed a bit shady to me. A little too slick, if you know what I mean?”

Nick nodded. “Yeah, I’m not a fan.”

“So why’d you let her step out with him?” Warrick asked.

Nick’s 20 wasn’t a winner and they were dealt a new hand.

“Let her?” Nick laughed. “She doesn’t need my permission.”

“Come on Nick, she’s your girl,” Warrick said, hitting on a 3 up and busting at 23. “And you’re ok with her goin’ out with another guy?”

Nick shook his head. “It ain’t like that man,” he replied, staying on another 20. “I don’t own her. She can do what she wants.”

Warrick shook his head.

“Speaking of our girls,” Nick moved the conversation along. “Tina workin’ tonight?”

“Yeah,” Warrick replied, “this shift work thing is killin’ me. Seems like we never see each other.”

“How’s that all goin’?” Nick asked, trying to be tactful.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Warrick asked, sitting up defensively.

“Nothin’ man,” Nick replied. This was why he was being careful. Tina had been a touchy subject. And then, like an idiot, he kept talking about it anyway. “It’s just that you guys got hitched pretty quick there. That’s gotta be quite the transition.”

Warrick relaxed back to the table and took a sip of his beer. “Sure been a learning experience,” he sighed. “And now Christmas is coming up. What the hell do I get her for our first Christmas? We weren’t even dating a year ago.”

Nick shrugged. “Couldn’t tell you. You’ll think’a somethin’.”

“I’m runnin’ outta time,” Warrick replied. “What did you get Mandy?”

“I got somethin’ up my sleeve,” Nick smiled, taking a sip of his diluted whiskey.

 

 

Ben threw back another rye and signaled the waiter.

The party had migrated to a large circle of people dancing where they’d moved aside the tables. For a few minutes, at least, she had some time to talk to Ben alone.

“Ok, so, now are you going to help me?” She asked, dropping her ditzy girlfriend voice.

Ben nodded. “Alright, alright, what’s the problem?” He asked.

The waiter arrived and set another rye in front of Ben.

“Anything else for your date?” The waiter asked, looking to Mandy.

“Oh no, we’re not together,” Ben said, brandishing his ‘I’m getting laid tonight’ smile. “We’re just friends.”

The waiter shot Ben the same smile in return, and walked away.

“Even though we’re not together, I still would have liked another drink,” Mandy said.

“Here,” Ben slid the rye across the table to her. “I only ordered it to get him over here again.”

“What happened to Sofia?” Mandy asked. “I thought you were in hot pursuit?”

“Mandy, that was over a month ago,” Ben reminded her. “When was the last time I dated the same person for more than two weeks.”

“Wouldn’t give you her number eh?” Mandy asked.

“No she wouldn’t, but that’s beside the point.”

Mandy took a sip of the rye and cringed. “Gross,” she said sliding it back to him.

“Anyway,” Ben said, watching his coworkers make idiots of themselves. “What’s your problem?”

“What do I get Nick for Christmas?” She asked.

“How the hell should I know?” He replied.

“I dunno, cause you’re a dude, and he’s a dude, and…” She trailed off, unsure where she was going with that.

“Sweetheart,” Ben said, trying to hold back a smile and failing, “me and Nick have about as much in common as Ru Paul and George Bush. What makes you think my advice will be any good?” Ben always did get a little more effeminate when he was trying to pick up a boy.

“Ben you need to help me. You know I’m terrible at buying gifts.”

“That is true,” he said. “What to get a cowboy from Texas? Hmmm. A new belt buckle? A horse?” He busted out into laughter. Now he was getting too tipsy to be of any use to anybody but the cute waiter. If he’d been half-sober he’d be taking the problem seriously.

“This is gonna suck,” Mandy said, sitting back in a sulk.

Ben waved his hand around like the problem wasn’t a problem at all. “Go small, and go cute,” he said. “Something that you guys have done together, or talked about?”

“Yeah,” she said, “I’ve been thinking along those lines and I’ve got nothin’.”

Ben was looking for the waiter and she could tell he was cooking up an excuse to get the guy back to their table. At the same time the dancing crowd was breaking up and headed back toward them.

“Oh for Christ’s sake, give me your car keys,” she demanded.

Ben handed over his keys. “Take good care of ‘er,” he slurred.

Just as Ben’s coworkers reached the table Mandy stood up as confidently as she could in the stupid heels she’d worn.

“I can’t believe you’d ask me to do that!” Mandy squealed. “I’m a nice girl!” She picked up the rye from the table and threw it at him, badly, so it went just over his left shoulder. It was a move they’d practiced more than once. She dropped the glass and stormed out in a huff. As quickly as she could storm while trying not to fall on her ass.

They’d done the fake break up before. Most notably when, halfway through a party, Ben decided that he did want to hook up with a coworker after all. This time though, it hadn’t really been planned, and she just wanted to get out.

On her way to the door she noticed the waiter headed back to Ben’s table with a fresh glass of rye.

 

Nick was tired of missing Mandy. Tired of wondering if he should show up at her place, or if she was going to be at his. Tired of all the dancing around and posturing. He wanted to see her and that was that.

So after his all night BlackJack session with Warrick, Nick headed to Mandy’s house. It had been a while. Most of the time, since his house was newer, she’d been coming to stay with him. He’d missed Mandy’s. It was comforting.

Parked in front of her house was a fancy sport’s car he didn’t recognize. Immediately he knew it must be Ben’s. It wasn’t a fancy sports car kind of neighborhood and it was parked right in front of her place. He must have stayed the night. Nick considered just going home. And then he got mad at himself. Even if Ben had stayed the night it was probably just because he was really drunk and needed a place to crash. No, not probably, that’s exactly what happened. The doubt he was feeling made him ashamed.

Nick walked slowly to the front door, scenarios running through his head of what he might be walking in on. He couldn’t help it. This girl was too good to be true, and he realized that he’d been waiting for the axe to fall for the past three months. This was it, he resigned himself as he reached the front door.

The warm sun beat down on him as he stood at the door, trying to decide whether or not he should go in, unpleasant images dancing around in his head.

Finally he knocked on the door: one long and four short, before he turned his key in the lock and stepped inside.

The smell; The wonderful lived-in smell of Mandy’s house wrapped around him like a blanket. Recently brewed coffee mixed with the smell of toast (probably Pop-Tarts actually) and Mandy. There was a certain heady smell he associated with her that was almost masculine, stemming from the fact that she used men’s body wash.

“Hey Tex,” Mandy said casually from the couch where she was leaned toward the coffee table typing on her laptop.

He’d been so wrapped up in the smell that he hadn’t even noticed that she was sitting right in front of him.

Surrounded by papers, her notebook, and her laptop, she was typing furiously. Dressed in sweatpants and her Seahawks t-shirt she didn’t look like she’d been out partying all night.

Nick hung his jacket on the back of a dining room chair and sat down next to her on the couch. She typed a few more words, dramatically hit the period key and sat back next to him.

Her couch sagged in the middle pushing them both together.

“Hey sweet pea,” Nick said. He put a hand to her waist and pulled her closer so he could get a quick kiss. Even their quick kisses were never very quick. She opened her mouth just a little so he could taste the bitter coffee on her tongue, but it wasn’t a needing passionate kiss, just a soft slow affectionate one.

Eventually they broke apart and she put her head down on his shoulder. “How’s Warrick?” She asked.

“Seems good,” Nick replied. “How’s Ben?”

“Good lord, who knows,” Mandy replied. “Probably waking up in some dude’s bed right about now and wondering where his car is.”

“Wait,” Nick paused, replaying what she’d just said in his head before continuing, “I thought he was after Sofia.”

“When it comes to sex Ben doesn’t discriminate,” Mandy said. “He will fuck anyone.”

Nick wasn’t sure what to do with that. Not what he’d expected. “How did you end up with his car?” Was the only thing he could think to say.

“He was loaded and intending to go home with someone else, and I needed a ride,” Mandy said, “seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Yeah,” Nick said, still feeling awkward.

“Want a coffee?” Mandy asked.

“Naw, I’m good,” he replied. Morning was headed toward afternoon and he didn’t want to be up all day. “Ok with you if I stay over today?”

“Course,” she replied. “I thought we already had the mi casa es su casa conversation.” She paused. Then: “But why would you want to stay over here? You’ve got that fancy new place of yours.”

“I miss this place,” Nick admitted.

“I can tell you right now that you didn’t miss the bed,” she said, “your new bed is like sleeping on a cloud.”

Nick put his arm around her and pulled her close to his chest. The sunlight streaming in the patio door, the warm day, and Mandy’s soft body curled against him all combined to make him sleepy and he began to drift off.

“Nick?” Mandy’s voice drifted to him in his half-sleeping state.

“Mmmm?” Nick replied.

“What do you want for Christmas?” She asked.

Nick opened his eyes slowly and looked down to find Mandy looking up at him expectantly.

“What?” He asked, unsure if he’d dreamed the question.

“What do you want for Christmas?” She asked again.

“I dunno,” Nick replied, letting loose an enormous yawn.

“See, I’m terrible at buying presents,” Mandy said. “And I’m really stuck. I have no idea what to get you.”

Nick wasn’t hurt. Getting presents at Christmas had never really been his favorite part, he’d always liked finding the right gift for someone else.

“Don’t worry about it,” Nick replied, “you don’t have to get me anything.”

“But you’re going to get me something,” Mandy said. It wasn’t a question, she knew.

“Well yeah,” he said.

“I’m not going to not get you something when you’re getting me something,” she replied, really getting frustrated. And then added, almost to herself: “This is the relationship stuff I suck at.”

He didn’t need anything. Didn’t really want anything. He lived a pretty simple life. Anything he wanted he usually got for himself. What could he suggest?

“I’m sorry sweet pea, I can’t help ya,” he replied.

“Dude! You suck!” She sank back down next to him and snuggled into his side, throwing her arm over his stomach and pulling him tight against her.

Being with Mandy. That was all he wanted for Christmas.


	16. Family and the Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick works a case that makes him think about the people around him and what's important.
> 
> Smut near the end of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry - this is a long one... I started writing this case he's on and it didn't feel right to split it up.
> 
> Also: sorry for the out of season Christmas stuff... trying to follow along with the show...

Despite the approaching holidays Nick’s shift was pretty slow. He took the time to get caught up on paperwork before the Yuletide rush bogged him down.

“What are you doing for the holidays?” Greg asked, sitting down at the desk next to Nick.

“Working,” Nick replied, focused on his work.

“Boring,” Greg replied, drawing the word out and spinning in the computer chair. “We should at least all go out for breakfast on Christmas.”

“Sure, sounds like a plan,” Nick said absently, typing.

Grissom stuck his head in the lab door. “Nick, Greg, can you guys take a 419?”

“No problem,” Nick replied. “I can finish this up later.”

“Let’s do it,” Greg replied.

“Officer on scene said it’s…” Grissom trailed off, and Nick thought he might do that thing where he gets a thought and just walks away. “…odd.”

“Odd how?” Nick asked.

“Maybe an animal attack,” Grissom replied, “but she was found inside her home, doors and windows locked.” Grissom handed the case memo to Nick and wandered back to his office.

“Hey Greggo? Can you go grab the truck?” Nick asked. “I just wanna finish this up quick. I’ll be right there.”

“Sure thing,” Greg relied and hopped off his chair heading for the garage.

Nick quickly saved the report he was working on and stowed his paperwork before stopping by the print lab.

He leaned down on the desk just across from Mandy.

She was intently looking at her screen, concentration twisting her brows. He waited.

“What?” She barked finally without looking up.

“I just got called out,” Nick said quietly, trying to keep a stupid smile from his face. He found it hard not to smile when he was around her. She did not seem to have the same problem. It didn’t bother him. She was a good actor. “So ixnay on the lunch date in the break room.”

“Ok, have fun,” she replied, still intent on her screen.

“See you after work?” He said, even more quietly.

She darted her eyes from the screen to Nick and shot him a cute little smile. “Your place or mine?”

“Your place,” he said. “I’m feelin’ like pizza for breakfast.” The best 24 hour pizza place in town was just around the corner from Mandy’s house.

“Done and done,” she replied, turning her attention back to her monitor and shedding her smile. “Now get outta here dude. I’m in the middle of something huge.”

Nick nodded, and retreated to the garage where he found Greg tossing their gear into the back of an SUV.

“Let’s roll Greggo,” Nick tossed his kit in the back, snagged the keys from Greg and jumped in the driver’s seat.

 

There was a single PD car out front of the house, lights flashing. They were still waiting on David. Nick took the inside, Greg the outside and they started photographing the scene.

It was bloody, and the intense smell of decomp meant that the scene was more than a few hours old. The body was curled on the couch in the living room. The polyester cushions underneath the body were soaked through with blood. The hands had been eaten away by something, down to the knuckles, leaving the stark white bone sticking out. Other than regular decomp, the rest of the body looked undamaged. The smell was overwhelming; According to PD, the smell had alerted a group of carolers who had come to the door and then called it in when no one had answered.

The house was small and quaint. Everything seemed to be in its place, there was no clutter around, no dishes on the counter in the kitchen. The house could have been used for a photo shoot in a magazine. The furniture wasn’t new and fancy, but it was all clean and well maintained. The only thing out of place was a pile of bloody paper towels on the coffee table in front of the couch, and a trail of blood droplets that led to the kitchen. There were a few drops on the clean white counter as well, but that was it, most of the blood was soaked into the couch cushions.

“Hey Nick,” David said as he walked through the door. He didn’t even twitch at the smell, he was so accustomed to it now.

“Super Dave,” Nick greeted. “What can you tell me?”

It took David a few minutes to get set up, and Nick continued to photograph the scene.

Finally David stood up. “I can tell you she’s been dead more than 30 hours, since rigor is no longer fixed and the liver is at room temperature. I’ll be able to give you a more accurate timeline once we get her back to the lab.”

“Less than a week to Christmas,” Nick observed, “and it took a group of strangers knockin’ on her door more than a day after she died to find her.”

David shrugged. “Not everybody’s got friends and family,” he said. “They say the holidays are the hardest time of the year for some people.”

“Cause of death?” Nick asked.

“Looks like whatever was chewing on her hit several of the arteries in her hands,” David replied. “Loss of blood.”

“I’ve never heard of someone bleeding out from their hands before Super Dave,” Nick replied, skeptical.

“Me neither,” David said. “You need to do serious damage to cause that kind of blood loss through the hands.”

“I got another good question for you,” Nick was starting to think out loud. “What kinda person just lays on their couch while an animal chews up their hands, and then bleeds to death?” 

There was a thin trail of blood drops that led into the kitchen, but it stopped at the kitchen counter. No blood trail to an exit, and most of the blood loss had occurred on the couch; The trail to the kitchen was droplets, which implied minimal bleeding.

“Can’t help you that one,” David said. “I’ll send a sample of the blood up to tox when I get back. Maybe she was sedated.”

Nick’s brain was running a mile a minute. The evidence told him that an animal didn’t leave; The blood trail to the kitchen was comprised of droplets with minimal directionality, implying that someone had walked slowly to the kitchen while dripping blood: probably the victim. Then, maybe they’d returned to the couch? But there were no other blood trails leading to an exit, and no bloody animal prints of any kind. Maybe they were attacked outside? But there was no blood trail leading in from outside. What was going on here?

 

“This is a weird one alright,” Doc Robbins said, leaned over the opened body when Nick came into the morgue.

“I got that,” Nick replied. “The evidence at the scene doesn’t make any sense.”

“I’ll see your evidence, and raise you stomach contents,” Robbins said, holding up a large capped jar. The contents sloshed around, thick and deep red.

Nick took the jar and held it up to the light for a closer look. “What is goin’ on here?” He asked. “Last meal of cherry Jello?”

“I was just about to send it up to the lab for testing,” Robbins said, “but if I was going to weigh in, I’d say it was blood.”

Nick’s jaw fell open. “That’s a whole lotta blood,” he replied.

“And from what I can tell that wasn’t all of it,” Robbins said. “She’d already partially digested some of it.”

“Wait,” Nick put the container down. “Digestion takes a few hours, and she would have had to have been alive that whole time…”

“You got it,” Robbins said, “She was consuming blood for at least 6 hours before she died.”

“What the hell happened in that house?” Nick said aloud, grabbing the container and heading back toward the elevators.

 

Nick had just dropped the stomach contents on Hodges’ desk, and handed off a blood sample to Henry when his cell rang. He checked the caller ID and made his way to the break room before he picked up.

“Well, well, well,” Nick answered, his voice serious. “I didn’t expect a call from you for another few days.”

“Don’t me so dramatic Nicholas,” his sister replied with a laugh.

“What’s doin’ Sammy?” He asked, switching to a cheerful tone and collapsing into a chair. “What time is it there?” Nick checked his watch. “6:30 in the mornin’ is awful early for you.”

“Sorry, but it couldn’t wait,” she said. He could hear the excitement in her voice.

Being the youngest of seven, he’d often found it hard to connect with his older siblings, especially when he felt like he always had something to prove. Samantha, the second youngest, was different. They’d always been close right from the get go. 

Something had her excited, and she was calling him first thing in the morning because she wanted to tell him first. The last time he’d got a call like that she’d passed the bar.

“Alright Sammy, what’s happenin’?”

“I’m getting married,” she said.

“That’s so great, what’s his name?” Nick asked with a laugh.

Sam laughed. It would by Gary, of course, they’d been dating about 4 or 5 years. He was a good guy.

“I’m really happy for you,” Nick said, and he felt himself tearing up. Why did he always get so emotional? “I approve.”

“I’m so glad you do, daddy almost didn’t.”

“You know what he’s like,” Nick was always apologizing for his father it seemed. “He just wants the best for you.”

“Gary is the best,” Sam defended.

“I know that, and you know that, but you know that no one will ever be good enough,” Nick replied. “Ya’ll should come to Vegas and have a shotgun weddin’. Get married by Elvis, or better yet Kenny Rogers.”

“Right, that wouldn’t kill mom or anything,” Sam said. “I don’t want to keep you, but I wanted to tell you first.” He knew it.

“I’m really happy for you Sammy,” he repeated.

“I know,” she said earnestly. “About time for you to get on that whole wife thing eh?”

“I’m workin’ on it,” Nick said, thinking about how well things had been going with Mandy.

“Really?” Sam sounded surprised. “You’ll have to tell me more about that. I’ll talk to you on Christmas, and you can fill me in. Miss you Nick.”

“Miss you too.”

After he hung up the phone Nick sat back in his chair and thought too long about the conversation he’d just finished.

 

Greg had brought Mandy about a million prints from the case he was working with Nick. It hadn’t taken her long to run them, since a whole lot of them were the same, and they weren’t in the system.

She was sure she’d just seen Greg wandering around, so she went off in search of him.

Instead she found Nick in the break room, leaned back in a chair and staring into space.

“Hey cowboy,” she said, “you alright?”

Nick slowly came to, and blinked his eyes a few times. “Yeah, just thinkin’,” he said.

“About what?” Mandy asked, sitting down across from him.

Nick looked at her, and there was a little panic in his eyes. He was thinking about her. That was nice, but he probably didn’t want to say so in case he was overheard.

“Just this case,” he replied. “So close to Christmas and this woman was just laying dead in her home and no one knew. What happened to the holidays? Where were her friends and family?”

“People get busy,” Mandy said. “Maybe she didn’t have anybody?”

“It’s just really killin’ the holiday vibe for me is all,” Nick said.

“Speaking of your case,” Mandy said, “the prints were a bust. As far as I can tell they’re all from the same person, and there were no hits in AIFIS.”

“And there’s no way to tell if they match our victim-” Nick started.

“Because our victim doesn’t have any fingers left,” Mandy finished. “Righto.”

Nick sighed. “This case just don’t make no sense,” he said.

“Lay it on me,” Mandy beckoned with her hands that he should tell her the story.

After Nick gave her all the details, she leaned back in her chair. “Ok, call me crazy but, doesn’t it sound like she ate her own fingers?” Mandy said, warily, feeling as though she were being tested or trapped.

Nick nodded. “I guess that’s where the evidence is pointing, but ain’t that crazy?”

Nick’s phone beeped. He read the text and then looked up. Mandy followed his gaze. Hodges was watching them from the trace lab.

“I hate when he does that,” Nick sighed, heaving himself out of the chair, and heading for trace.

Mandy followed.

“Alright, so your stomach contents,” Hodges started, and then stopped and looked at Mandy who was leaned against the door frame. “Don’t you have prints to run?”

Mandy shook her head. “Nope. All done. And I gotta know about this one.”

Hodges narrowed his eyes.

“Come on Hodges, let’s have it,” Nick said impatiently.

“The stomach contents were exclusively blood and human tissue,” Hodges said, motioning to the jars before him where he’d separated the small pieces of undigested tissue and the liquids. “I gave Wendy the samples and she was able to match the DNA to the victim.”

“Ha! Told you!” Mandy piped up from the doorway.

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick replied.

Nick’s phone rang, and he picked it up right away. “Hey Doc. What’s going on?” Nick made several affirmative sounds before hanging up and walking into the hall.

Mandy followed him toward tox. “And?”

Nick stopped and turned to her. “The bite marks aren’t consistent with animal bites,” he said, “they’re consistent with human incisors.”

“Dude! That is messed up,” she exclaimed.

“Mandy?” Grissom’s voice called out down the hall.

“Duty calls,” she said to Nick before turning back to the print lab to find Grissom looking for her.

 

“Autophagia?” Grissom asked, looking over the file that Greg and Nick had prepared. His eyebrows were raised skeptically.

“All of the evidence we collected points that way,” Greg said.

“I was readin’ about it,” Nick said, “apparently spinal cord or nerve injuries paired with schizophrenia can compel someone to eat their… well themselves. They did this study with lab rats a few years ago, where the rats would eat toes, sometimes even the whole foot.”

“Was your victim schizophrenic?” Grissom asked.

“She was seeing a psychologist, and I’ve requested her records from them,” Greg said, “but the office doesn’t open for a few hours yet so I’ll get them tonight.”

“Alright. Shift is almost over, and you guys are both working Christmas, why don’t you head out for the day?” Grissom suggested.

“Thanks boss,” Greg stood up and reached over the desk for the file.

Grissom put his hand on top of it. “I’ll keep this for now,” he said. The tone of voice suggested that this case in particular had intrigued him and he wanted to read more.

“See you tomorrow,” Greg waved as he left.

Nick stayed seated.

Grissom grabbed for the next file in the pile on his desk and looked over at Nick. “Something on your mind Nick?”

“I just can’t get it out of my head that she was layin’ in that house for all those days, this close to the holidays, and nobody noticed,” Nick said.

“Not everybody has a family,” Grissom offered. “Some people are alone. Keep in mind that some people choose to be alone.”

Nick had never felt that way. Surrounded by family growing up, surrounded by his work family now. Work family and blood family just weren’t the same sometimes though, there was still a barrier there.

Nick smiled, but it felt more like a grimace, and he nodded. “Sometimes, with my family so far away, especially during the holidays, I get lonesome.”

“You’ve got family here too Nick,” Grissom confirmed. There were two tones of voice that Grissom used: one when he was stating and fact, and one when posing a theory. He’d used that first voice.

“Yeah I guess I do, don’t I?” Nick said, standing up, feeling a little emotional and misty for the second time in a shift. “I’m gonna stick around for a bit and finish up that paperwork I was doin’ earlier.”

“Up to you,” Grissom said, returning his attention to the next file on his desk.

 

Mandy tidied up her desk for the dayshift; Neil was such an OCD dick that she made a point of ensuring the print lab was shipshape whenever he was scheduled after her. God she missed Jaqui.

The lab totally ready to go, she headed for the locker room and took off her lab coat, dropping it on the bench. She opened her locker and unbuttoned her shirt; The first thing she did every day when she was off shift. She always wore a tank top underneath, and there was just something about her work shirts that felt constrictive. The obvious solution was to buy different shirts, but she already had these ones so she didn’t-

A hand grabbed her wrist from behind, and dragged her backward. Mandy let out a low squeal in surprise. A second hand pressed against her back and turned her toward her assailant, and suddenly she was in Nick’s arms, pressed against his chest. They were hidden from the door around the corner of the second bank of lockers. But they weren’t hidden by much, and not for long, especially not after her shriek.

Mandy just shook her head, and beat her palms against his chest.

“Are you crazy?” She whispered low.

“I surely am,” he replied, leaning in to kiss her.

Mandy pushed him back and stepped out of his arms. “First, you scared the life outta me, and second we agreed: not at work.”

Nick frowned, but the look in his eyes said he agreed with her. “I just couldn’t wait,” he apologized, arms held wide. “I wanted to tell you-”

“Hey Mandy,” Wendy said as she walked into the room. “You ok? I thought I heard a noise in here.”

Mandy shrugged. “Totally fine. I tripped over this stupid bench,” she lied. Wendy was such a klutz, she would sympathize.

“I’ve done that so many times,” Wendy admitted. “Oh hey Nick.” The DNA tech went for her locker and started to get ready to go.

“Hey Wendy,” Nick greeted in return. His voice was soft, and Mandy didn’t look back at him, but she could feel his eyes on her. He was going to get them into serious trouble.

Mandy returned to her locker and tried to pretend it was just another end of shift. She grabbed her things, and stowed her lab coat. She didn’t hear Nick move a muscle the entire time, and she resisted the urge to look at him.

“See you tomorrow,” Mandy said as she walked out, careful to avoid looking at Nick.

 

Mandy was mad. And she sat in her little Toyota fuming in the parking garage. Lying wasn’t her favorite either, but she didn’t want to have to choose between a relationship and her current job. Working the other shifts just wasn’t something she was interested in, and Nick wouldn’t be either. The night shift was family.

Before she had to watch Nick walk by in her rearview she started up her car and drove home.

 

Mandy did what she always did when she was mad, or she’d had a bad day at the office. She didn’t ride roller coasters, and she didn’t go the batting cages, she blasted a punk album, and played video games with her feet up on the coffee table.

It wasn’t that she’d had a bad day all around. It was the encounter with Nick in the locker room that made her want to put her fist through a wall. What an idiot. Honestly, it wasn’t like she hadn’t fantasized about it, especially when it had been early in their relationship: Nick pulled her into the garage, or the back of an SUV in the parking garage, or even just a storage room. But she was easily able to separate her fantasy from reality.

The vinyl she’d put on was angrily spitting out its fifth song when the door opened. The music was turned up so loud she didn’t even hear him knock (which he had a habit of doing, even though he had a key), turn his key in the lock, or open the door. The cross breeze that lifted her hair and shot out the patio door alerted her to his arrival. She didn’t look up, she just kept shooting at bad guys.

Nick said something, but she didn’t quite catch it over the music. He walked over to the stereo and turned it down.

“What is that noise?” He asked, as he settled next to her on the couch.

“Noise? Come on, it’s Black Flag. Classic!” She exclaimed, a serious edge in her voice.

“Just sounds like noise to me,” Nick replied.

“Oh, I’m sorry grandpa, after I turn it down would you like me to get off your lawn?” It was cattier than she had intended, but she actually didn’t mind and let it hang in the air.

“What’s goin’ on with you?” Nick asked.

Mandy dropped the video game controller on the coffee table with a loud crack, and turned her attention to Nick.

“Oh, I don’t know, how about the locker room?” She said. “What’s going on with me? What’s going on with you?”

“I couldn’t wait,” was all he said in his defense, as though it were enough.

“If I could have waited until I got home those first couple weeks, then you could have waited today,” she said. He was getting closer to her.

“First couple weeks were pretty hard for you?” With that charming smile, she was having a difficult time remembering why she was mad at him at all.

“Come on, they weren’t for you?” She asked, beginning to melt.

“You made it look so easy,” he said, “cold as ice.”

“I can tell you right now that I was definitely not cold as ice… anywhere,” she said. “Warm and wet like melted ice maybe.” She couldn’t resist, and now she’d done it because she saw the want heat up his eyes.

“Really?” He said, and she could hear the need in his voice as he leaned closer to her on the couch.

The old worn springs and cushions pulled her toward him and before he could make the first move she rolled onto her knees, grabbed his face between her hands and pulled him in for a hard messy kiss.

Nick’s hands made quick work of his intentions, putting one up the back of her shirt and pressing the other at the front of her pants trying to hit the right spot through layers of fabric. He succeeded, and Mandy gasped into his mouth at the sudden surge of feeling that tickled up through her stomach and sparked in her breasts.

With the music pumping in the background, spewing loud cacophony into the air she was feeling like a bad girl. Mandy pushed Nick back on the couch hard, their lips coming apart, until he was laying down and then she climbed on top of him. She began to grind her hips down hard against him, feeling right through his jeans how much he wanted her. And that want was massaging her in just the right spot to keep the sparks twitching and building inside her. She knew he was happy with her attentions by the happy little grunts that tumbled out of him each time she rubbed against him in just that right way.

Leaning down she kissed him again, and the noises they made tangled in each other’s mouths. He hadn’t stopped to shower, and the musk of his sweat from the day’s work was all around them; Flavoring their kisses, and filling her nose with his heady scent. Urged by the music and her excitement, she wanted to rip their clothes off and get her satisfaction quickly, but she resisted.

Nick reached up to slip the shirt from her shoulders, but she grabbed his hands and held them down on the couch above his head.

She moved her lips from his mouth to his ear and whispered softly. “What do you want?”

She felt his muscles constrict underneath her so he could pull himself up enough to be right next to her ear and breath into it: “I want you baby.”

Mandy slid off his lap, giving one last long grind on her way and stood in front of the couch. “Do you know what I want?”

Nick laid on the couch, hands cradling his head, watching her. His hair mussed, a smile on his face, his eyes dark with lust. “What do you want sweet pea?”

“I want to tell you about all my fantasies,” she said. “You’re going to follow me to the bedroom, and sit and listen while I tell you just exactly what I imagined you doing to me while I was waiting for IAFIS searches to finish, and prints to scan.”

And then she just walked back toward the bedroom. It took less than half a second before she heard the floor by the couch creak when he got up to follow her.

When she reached the bedroom she stood a few feet from the foot of the bed. Nick tried to follow and touch her, but she pushed him back wearing a sly smile. “On the bed Tex,” she instructed.

The want in his eyes was palpable, but he restrained himself and listened to her, seating himself at the edge of the bed; Mandy backed up a few steps to be out of reach of his fingertips.

Now that she was doing it, she felt weird. What did she do with her hands? Did she just stand like an idiot? She decided to figure it out as she went.

“The first one was pretty boring,” she started. “My mind wandered off and the first place it went was you. We hadn’t had sex yet, and you can probably guess that I was starting to wonder what I was missing. I had this fantasy that you came into the print lab for results on a case. You leaned in close to look at the screen, and I could smell your aftershave.” Mandy closed her eyes. This fantasy had helped her reach orgasm on her own more than a few times since then. She’d pressed the repeat button on it in her brain on several occasions. Breathing in deep, she continued. “You looked at me and I could tell you wanted me, but you were being ever the polite southern gentleman. So I took your hand and pulled you into the storage closet.” Mandy ran her hands up through her hair, pulling at it a little, and picturing the fantasy clearly in her mind. “So polite, you asked if I was sure, and when I said yes you lifted me up on the counter. Since it’s a fantasy I was wearing a skirt, for nice easy access. You pulled my panties off, some sexy little things that I would never own in a million years, and tossed them aside.”

She heard a chuckle from Nick at this point, but didn’t open her eyes. Instead she moved her hands from her hair, down her neck and softly slid the button up shirt from her shoulders, making her own skin tingle with goose bumps. A tank top still covered her torso, but hugging her body tight it wouldn’t leave too much to the imagination.

“You pulled my hips right the edge of the counter, and before you did anything else you put your hand on my cheek and kissed me really soft. I was so excited that we didn’t need any foreplay, and…” she trailed off with an excited noise, her eyes still closed.

After a minute Nick prompted her: “And?”

Mandy opened her eyes and found him staring at her with an intense focus. His breath was a little accelerated; She could see it in the way his throat moved at the hem of his t-shirt collar. This was going to be fun.

“And then my AIFIS search finished and I had to get back to work,” she replied with a grin that she hoped looked as evil as it felt.

“Come on,” Nick said exasperated, running his hands through his hair and flopping back onto the bed.

“Patience, dude. Now, the second one, that one’s a bit better,” she said, biting her cheek to hold back the laughter she felt at watching him squirm. “We snuck into the case file storage room for a quickie,” she started, “everyone had current cases, and we knew no one would be coming in.” This time she kept her eyes open and watched him. 

He sat up on his elbows on the bed, his still fully clothed body stretched out before her. He knew what he was doing. He knew how much she loved taking his clothes off. It was almost too enticing to deny herself, but she managed. 

“When you took my shirt off, you ripped some of the buttons, but I didn’t care. I took off your shirt, sliding it up over your head so I could nibble the way I like,” as she said this, she gripped the hem of her tank top and pulled it slowly, tantalizingly up her body: belly button showing, ribs, the bottom of the bra, then slowly over her head and onto the floor. She watched his eyes follow the progress the entire time.

Nick sat back up slowly, as though he weren’t in control of his own body, like she was a snake charmer. Well, she kind of was. Following suit, he pulled his own t-shirt off and dropped it on the floor, chest bare, and met her eyes.

Mandy sucked on her bottom lip, and then almost let the throbbing urge that was building up in her take control. “You pushed me up against the wall and took my pants off,” she said, popping the button on her pants and letting them slide to the floor as she kicked them aside. 

Meeting her eyes, Nick stood up and did the same. Holding her gaze he looked almost angry, his face solemn, but from experience she knew that he was just really aroused. She didn’t care, she was going to make it last as long as possible. God Nick in boxer briefs would fuel her fantasies for the rest of her life. He sat back down on the bed, and waited for her to continue.

“I needed you so badly, and I begged you…” she trailed off again. She’d never been good at dirty talk, and she wanted it to sound right. Just the wrong word here or there and she’d break this awesome tension she’d been building; The tension that would encourage him to take her hard and fast, not holding anything back. It wasn’t what she wanted every day, but today she was frustrated and she wanted to let our her aggression. 

“Begged me for what?” Nick’s voice was gruff, and she could tell she’d almost got him there. But she wanted to draw it out as long as she was able. At least get fully undressed during the telling of her stories.

“I begged you to do whatever you wanted to,” she said. “And you fucked me so good, right against the wall, my legs wrapped around you.” Mandy moved her hand down between her legs, over her underwear, running her finger over the sensitive skin there that wanted touching so badly.

Nick mirrored her motions again, taking his own hand to the outside of his boxers. Mandy’s voice caught in her throat when she tried to continue. The idea suddenly came to her that he’d probably masturbated to the thought of her. She’d done it thinking about him. And that thought just about set her pouncing on him, but once again she restrained herself. She wanted to see just how far she could take this before she couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Now the third one,” she huffed out, her voice husky with want and need, “that’s gotta be my favorite so far. Do you remember that old car they brought in for that case a few weeks ago? Black with the blue stripes?”

Nick nodded. “Mustang,” was all he could get out.

“That’s the one,” Mandy said with a grin. “I’ve never been much of a car girl, but that was one sexy car. So we’re alone in the garage, pulling prints from that baby. I’m leaned over the hood because, who knows, there’s some print I’m trying to pull or something; It’s a fantasy, it wasn’t very specific. You come up behind and push against me. And when I turn around you kiss me like you think you’re never going to get to kiss me again. We tear each other’s clothes off. You unhook my bra,” and again, she mirrored the story by reaching around to undo the clasps on her bra. She let it fall the floor and watched Nick’s mouth fall open hungrily. “And then you turn me around again and bend me over the hood. The metal is cold on my skin and it makes my nipples hard,” this time she ran her hands up her stomach to touch and tease at her own breasts. Mandy watched the muscles in Nick’s legs twitch and she knew that he was fighting the urge to get off the bed and come get her, but he didn’t. Not yet. “And while I’m laying on the hood of the car, you slip my panties down and run your hands down over my back and my butt.” Mandy slipped her underwear off and kicked them aside to rest with her pants. 

Nick followed suit, losing his boxers to the floor. He was really excited, and though she could tell he wanted to do something about it he sat back down on the bed.

As she talked she slid her hands down from her breasts to slip into the soft wetness between her thighs. She couldn’t remember ever being so excited. “And I’m so wet that when you slip your fingers inside me…” she trailed off at the fantasy she’d created and tilted her hips to slip a finger inside her own body, while Nick took himself in hand and breathed heavily.

“Mandy?” Nick’s voice cracked.

Mandy didn’t let up her own attentions on herself and replied with: “Mmhmm?” Which came out as a half moan.

He didn’t even ask his question, just stood up and came over to her. She had thought he would be more rushed, more passionate, but his muscles were tight with careful and strategic movements. Mandy didn’t remove her finger, and waited for him to grab her wrist and slowly pull her hand back. As she slipped out of herself, she let out a hollow moan of wanting.

“Oh don’t you worry baby,” Nick replied to her cry, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ better.” He kissed her, and it was the soft kiss from her first fantasy. He pushed her up against the wall, and it was the wall from her second fantasy. He ran a big capable hand from her breast, down her stomach, and slipped a finger inside, curling it back at just the right spot to make her claw at his back. It was the same feeling from her third fantasy.

“Holy shit,” she moaned into his ear. “What do you want?” She asked him, like she had in the living room. His finger was still inside, coaxing a sensation to build deep, while his palm caused just the right friction on the outside to match it.

“I want you baby,” he replied, biting at her earlobe.

“What do you want?” She asked a second time, coupled with the arching of her back against the wall and a series of staccato moans, the ones she knew he liked. The tone of her question let him know that she wasn’t happy with his answer.

“Mandy,” his voice faltered, and then he growled: “I want to fuck you so hard.”

It was strange to hear him really swear, since he very rarely did, and it was such a turn on that she grabbed at the back of his neck with one hand, and wrapped her other hand around his cock, pulling him toward her body.

Taking the not-even-close-to-suble hint, Nick quickly slid his finger from her, and slipped inside her in its place. The moment he hoisted her against the wall and pinned her there, pushing himself all the way inside, she shuddered and let out a pleased groan.

Nick’s face was pressed hard against her neck, his breath tickling at her every time he thrust his hips toward her and grunted with the effort; The beautiful wonderful effort. Mandy moved her hips in time with his, and their motions accelerated until it was almost violence. The hard collision of their bodies hit her g-spot perfectly, while also rubbing the rest of her just the right way.

Each thrust, slide, moan, breath, brought her closer and closer until she pushed off against him from the wall, tightening around his body, her legs curling around him to keep them attached while she called out his name over and over and over until her breath ran out. Though she had pushed against him, he’d easily kept them pinned to the wall, a feat that made him even sexier to her.

After her orgasm subsided, he resumed the rhythm they’d been building up together.

It wasn’t an easy position to stay in for long, and she felt him quivering with the effort.

“Take me to bed tiger,” she growled into his ear between the other sounds she was making.

Nick obeyed immediately, grabbing under her thighs and carrying her to the bed. As he slipped out of her to set her down she felt emptier than she’d ever felt before.

She tried to take over and be on top, but Nick wouldn’t have it, and pushed himself between her thighs to lie on top of her.

This time when he pushed his way inside her, it was at an angle they’d gotten to know quite well, and it was easier for him to get it just right, and easier for her to match his movements.

He was raining kisses down on her: collarbone, neck, mouth, ear. Before long he stilled, pushing himself up against her hard and holding his body there, each and every muscle he had taught as he tried to be as deeply inside her as he could. The last noise he made came out as whispered words in her ear: “My God Mandy.”

 

They lay side by side and panted the breath back into their bodies. 

“How the hell did you keep a straight face in the lab when all that was goin’ on up inside your head?” Nick asked, watching her for a reaction.

“I told ya,” she replied, “I missed my calling as an actress.”

Mandy suddenly rolled off the bed, grabbed something from the floor and hopped back on the bed. She flipped her cell open and dialed.

“Hey Matteo, it’s Mandy,” she said into the phone. She was ordering the pizza Nick had requested for breakfast.

He dozed while she chatted with the pizza guy, and was almost asleep when she clapped her phone shut.

“I think we order too much pizza,” Nick admitted, turning back to her with sleepy eyes. “Since you and your pizza guy are on a first name basis.”

“Sacrilege!” Mandy exclaimed. “There is no such thing as eating too much pizza! This is another one of those things that you should have told me before we got into this relationship. Pizza is a very important part of my life.”

“Alright, alright,” Nick said, rolling onto his side so he could wrap his arms around her. “Pizza can stay.” 

He pulled her close, and nuzzled into the hair at her neck, breathing her in. She smelled like his sweat, and an animal part of him purred contentedly down deep. Running his fingers lightly down her body he traced her ribcage and then the soft curve of her hip before circling her belly button. Mandy sighed and twitched here and there when he hit a particularly ticklish spot. But he didn’t linger in those areas, this wasn’t about that, it was about the soft intimacy that she seemed to relish after sex.

Nick had dated so many different kinds of girls. Some didn’t want to be touched after sex, and would make a point of leaving the room. Some just wanted to cuddle up next to him and be held. Mandy was different every day of the week: Sometimes she would jump up right away and need to shower; Sometimes she wanted to run her fingers through his hair while he kissed her stomach; Sometimes, like this time, she still wanted more touching and would let him run his hands all over her body. Most of the time she wanted his fingers lingering on her skin.

“We don’t have time for this,” Mandy whined.

“We got nowhere to be sweet pea,” Nick said as his hands returned to her neck and his fingers tangled in her silky soft hair.

“Pizza’s gonna be here in twenty,” she replied, “unless you want me to answer the door like this.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” he smirked, before he kissed her cheek and reluctantly rolled out of bed. “I really think we need to do something for Christmas though. Dinner some night,” he said, and then added: “With real food. Even some vegetables maybe.”

“I’m so glad you think so,” Mandy smiled at him, still not getting out of bed. “Because I invited Teresa, Gabe, and Ben over for dinner tonight.”

“Short notice,” he said.

Mandy just shrugged. “I bought the groceries, but Teresa’s going to make all the food and bring it over, we don’t have to do anything.” She yawned and curled back into the bed.

“Hey now, time to get up sleepy head,” he said, “that doorbell’s gonna be ringin’ soon.”

“You don’t need help answering the door do you?” She asked, as she pulled the duvet over her body and rolled away from him. “And I don’t have a doorbell.”

Nick smiled and looked around for his pants.


	17. Christmas Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy and Nick host some friends for an early Christmas dinner.
> 
> Smut near the end of the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry... It's a bit long... And I know I'm still posting Christmas chapters in July... But I had a bunch of ideas I wanted to fit in here...the next chapter is the last holidays themed chapter I promise.

“Mandy, this plate has a Carebear on it,” Nick complained, eyeing the ceramic plate at the top of the stack of plates he was holding.

Dinnertime was closing in, and they’d rolled out of bed to get things ready for their impromptu holiday dinner. Mandy had pulled mismatched plates and cutlery from her cupboards and drawers and handed it to Nick to set the table. He was not impressed.

She fluttered around the kitchen, trying to get it cleaned up for visitors. “If you’re upset with the Carebear one then you haven’t looked through the rest yet,” she said. “The Carebear is the least offensive of all my dish ware.”

Nick set the plates down on the small dining room table. Mandy took a break from cleaning and leaned in the archway that led to the kitchen.

“Come to think of it,” she said, “who doesn’t like Carebears?”

“It’s just, not really…” he trailed off, unsure what to say. Nick was used to his mother’s holidays. Eight foot tables with proper linens, gilded china and silver cutlery; Prepared to entertain judges and politicians. Mandy didn’t even have enough spoons for the group of five she was hosting.

“Not really what?” She asked, smirking from the archway.

“Nothing,” Nick shrugged it off. He didn’t want to offend her. Since they’d had the fight about her house, he didn’t want to throw his family and upbringing in her face. He was afraid of seeming snotty. 

From the outside, snotty wasn’t something many people would think about Nick Stokes; He didn’t pour his beer into glasses, but drank straight from the bottle; He used words like “ain’t” on a regular basis; He loudly sang country music out his open window when he was driving down the strip. All of these things were his way of fighting back against his upbringing, trying to be the everyman that he’d always wanted to be. But some things were just in your blood, drilled into you from such a young age that you didn’t even think about them until they floated to the surface.

So Nick set the plates out next to the paper napkins on the table and shut his mouth.

Until he uncovered the last plate.

“No,” he said simply, holding the plate up so she could see, though of course she knew which one he was talking about.  
The moment he looked at her face he knew that she’d been waiting for him to find it. A smile plumped her cheeks from ear to ear, and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing covering her mouth with a hand.

It took her a few minutes to get her impending laughter under control and finally, when she had calmed herself she said, “what do you have against zombies?”

“Nothin’, nothin,’” Nick said, looking back toward the plate in his hand. “I got nothin’ against zombies. I got somethin’ against eating Christmas dinner off a rotting corpse.” He was totally serious.

Mandy’s laughter finally escaped her and she motioned for him to bring her the plate. “That one was a joke,” she replied, grabbing the plate and trying to pull it from his hand. Nick let himself be pulled along with it, gathering Mandy into his arms.

“Why are you always tryin’ to rile me up?” Nick asked, putting his forehead to hers.

“Cause I love ya Tex, and sometimes you need to get that stick outta your butt,” she replied, running her free hand up the back of his neck and into his hair.

“I love you too Mandy,” he said earnestly, and it was the first time he’d said it to her out of bed and not off the cuff. It felt serious; Like a stepping stone. She was still in his arms and her smile faded to a look of contentment that made him happy all the way through. Nick closed his eyes, leaned in and kissed her softly, tasting chocolate on her lips.

Once he pulled back from her, she asked, “What’s up with you today?” Taking the offending plate with her, she slipped out of his arms and back into the kitchen where she pulled out a piece of ceramic covered with kittens and handed it to him.

“What’s up with me?” Nick asked, returning to setting the odd table. “I should ask what’s up with you Ms. story teller? What was that about this morning?” Not that he hadn't loved hearing about her fantasies.

“Is that a complaint?” She called from the kitchen.

“It most surely is not,” Nick replied, concentrating on trying to somehow make all the plates fit around the small table.

Once the house was presentable and the table was set they took cups of coffee out into the yard to sit in the sun. He let the question of decoration go. He’d asked her if she wanted him to help her decorate the house, but she was happy leaving it the same.

It was quiet and they didn’t talk, which was fine with Nick. The silences that had started to stretch between them were comfortable. There was something so wonderful about being with someone and just being quiet. Nothing needing to be said.

Mandy was stretched out in her chair, legs splayed in front of her, eyes closed to the late afternoon sun.

Nick started thinking about the locker room incident, and the case he’d worked on the night before.

“I’m sorry about this mornin’,” he said.

Mandy’s head lolled over to the side so she could look at him, squinting through the sun. “Sorry for what? I had a great time,” she said.

Nick nodded and smiled, he could feel a small blush rising up in his cheeks from the way she glared at him. He licked his lips the way he did when he was nervous sometimes. “Not that,” he corrected, “before. At work. I’m sorry.”

Mandy turned her head back to the sun and closed her eyes. “It’s cool,” she said, but her face was serious. “But you need to learn to keep that libido of yours in check tiger.”

“It wasn’t that,” Nick said absently, turning the coffee cup in his hands round and round. “That case really got under my skin, ya know? I started thinkin’ about family and the holidays. That poor woman was in her house for damn near a week before anybody found her. It’s Christmastime and no one was checkin’ in.” He paused, unsure what he wanted to say, but letting his mouth run. “I grew up with these big Christmases, you know. Like in a magazine. Classic southern old money Christmases. Big trees and decorations and parties for weeks…” he trailed off, getting more and more homesick by the second. Not that he wanted any of that anymore, it was all in the past, but sometimes Nick’s desires and his childhood collided to make a confusing mix of nostalgia and practicality. “You were never alone,” he finished.

Nick stared down into his cup, unsure what else to add. What was he trying to say?

“You’re not alone, Nick,” Mandy said. She was kneeling next to his chair on the grass and he hadn’t even noticed her get up. Her hand rested on his arm. When he met her eyes she smiled and it was brighter than the sunshine.

Nick tried to chuckle through the grateful sting in his eyes. Why did Christmas always have to make him so damn emotional?

 

 

Ben showed up first, half drunk already. Great start.

“I can smell the rum,” Mandy informed him under her breath as she let him in. “Is that from yesterday still? Or did you get started early?”

Ben handed her a paper bag that contained, no doubt, more rum, and sauntered into the living room.

“Where’s my man Nick?” Ben rumbled. It didn’t escape Mandy that he hadn’t answered her question.

“Actually, he’s my man Nick,” Mandy replied, trying to be good natured; It was the holidays after all. “And he’s in the back yard. We were trying to relax before this whole hoopla got started.”

She followed Ben out into the backyard where Nick was still sitting in one of the lawn chairs staring out at the grass.

Ben flopped down in a chair next to Nick. “So what, exactly, is it about you that makes you think you’re worthy of Mandy, huh?” Ben asked, leaning forward and narrowing his eyes at Nick. He was drunk for sure. This was going to go great. Heavy on the sarcasm.

 

 

By the time Gabe rang the doorbell, Nick was itching to either get up and do something or punch Ben in the face. He was getting to the point where both were acceptable options.

Ben was being an asshole. No other way to put it. Already mostly liquored up, he’d presented an interesting combination of protective older brother and jealous ex-boyfriend. Though, to Nick’s understanding, he was neither.

The doorbell rang and Nick practically jumped out of his chair. “I’ll get it.”

“You don’t answer the door at other people’s houses,” Ben shouted after him, “bad manners!”

“He does at my house,” Mandy’s voice followed Nick in from the yard. He smiled. His girl had his back, he’d give her that. She was dancing a fine line between trying to keep Ben in check and starting a fight that would ruin their evening. But she definitely wasn’t backing down.

Gabe just about bowled Nick over in his excitement.

“Thought you were Mandy,” Gabe apologized as he stopped short of a hug.

“Back yard,” Nick indicated, stepping aside to let Gabe race out of the patio door.

Teresa stood surrounded by grocery bags, carrying a large roasting pan covered in tinfoil. Her face was serious, and Nick could tell from the look on her face that she associated him with the death of her eldest son; Or of getting the news anyway.

Nick immediately stepped forward and relieved her of the roasting pan. “Let me get that,” he said as he took the pan into the kitchen and set it on the stovetop. Teresa followed with the bags and immediately began to unpack and prepare the food.

“Can I do anything?” Nick asked, and then translated to Spanish. “Puedo ayudar?”

Teresa’s hands stopped and she looked over at him in surprise. The serious expression broke into a kind smile. “No, gracias,” she replied with a nod before waving her hand to indicate he should leave the kitchen.

Nick retreated to the yard, knowing that body language; He’d been in the way in a kitchen and pissed off too many busy cooks and mothers to stick around.

Gabe was leaned over the garden with Mandy, pointing out the different plants that were poking up through the dirt. Nick had wanted Mandy to notice for herself that they were starting to come up, but he couldn’t fault the kid’s enthusiasm.

Nick’s attention strayed to where Ben sat in one of the lawn chairs glaring at him. He wanted to roll his eyes, but thought better of it and just leaned against the house, crossed his arms, and met Ben’s gaze.

“How about a drink Nick?” Ben asked. “Rum and eggnog maybe?”

“Sure man,” Nick agreed, glad for an excuse to go back into the house and avoid talking to the guy.

There was a bottle of rum still in a paper bag on the counter in the kitchen, and he skirted Teresa while he found glasses and grabbed the eggnog from the fridge.

He felt bad. Ben and Mandy had some kind of old history, and she cared about him. Nick just couldn’t see what it was she saw in the guy. He was a piece of work, and Nick had seen more than a few of those in his time; On and off the job.

He put half a shot of rum in each glass and filled the rest up with eggnog. The last thing Ben needed was a strong drink.  
Nick peeked over at the food, and closed his eyes to suck in the wonderful smells coming from the dishes Teresa was uncovering.

“Tamales?” Nick asked, knowing the answer already. “Que huele increible.”

Teresa unsuccessfully tried to hide her smile from Nick as she waved for him to leave the kitchen again.

He obeyed and puffed his chest out a little as he emerged to bring Ben his drink.

 

 

Mandy’s hands were covered in dirt by the time Gabe’s excitement for showing her the shoots in the garden subsided. No complaints, she loved to see him excited about something. Though she was interested to learn that they had felt the need to hide the planting from her. She planned to ask Nick about it.

Mandy sat back on the edge of the garden box, Gabe sat down next to her. She watched Nick come out of the house with two drinks in hand, give one to Ben and then walk over to her and give her the second one.

“Thought you could use something festive to drink,” Nick said.

“Thanks Tex,” she winked at him as she sipped the thick drink and then slowly licked the excess from her top lip, holding his gaze.

Teresa emerged from the house and held out her arms like she was waiting for a hug. “Dinner is ready,” she announced before ducking back into the house.

 

 

“Sorry, I don’t really do much entertaining,” Mandy said as they all sat down for dinner. Since her poor little table only had four chairs, Nick had dragged in a lawn chair and was sitting in it, his head a good foot lower than anyone else’s. He did not look impressed, though she suspected that had more to do with Ben than the seating situation.

Mandy resolved to make it up to him later for being such a good sport. Not just with the chair, but with Ben as well. True to form, Ben had made sure to take a seat right next to Nick. Knowing Ben as well as she did, she was still having a hard time deciding whether he was pissed off at Nick or attracted to him; Maybe a bit of both?

Mandy went into the kitchen to help Teresa serve dinner, but was quickly pushed toward the table and waved out of the way. Mandy obeyed. She’d known Teresa for a long time, and the woman was too proud to ask for, or need, help.

Teresa brought each dish out one at a time, and served everyone. There was no room on the table for excess, so once each person had a portion she returned to the kitchen and came back with the next dish. Mandy noticed that she started every round by serving Nick first. Interesting.

On the third dish, Teresa served Nick first again and Gabe said something to his mother in Spanish. His mother replied with the tempered voice of a frustrated mother, a smile on her face, and Gabe replied again, this time obviously embarrassed by whatever his mother said. Mandy wished she’d taken the time to learn Spanish. Or any other language.

Then Nick spoke up in his southern accented Spanish, and Mandy noticed a blush rising up from the collar of his shirt. Gabe looked completely mortified and his face turned red; Obviously he hadn’t been aware Nick spoke the language and thought he was having a private conversation with his mother. Mandy mentally noted to ask Nick later what that was all about.

They chatted amicably over the meal and she was proud of Ben for not continuing to be an idiot in front of Teresa and Gabe.

Once dinner was finished they moved to the couch and sat down in front of the TV; A cheesy old Chrismtas movie was playing, volume on low.

Nick and Teresa argued in Spanish for a solid ten minutes, before Nick had successfully negotiated his way into clearing the table and doing the dishes. Ben let Teresa take his place on the couch while he joined Nick in the kitchen. If Mandy knew anything about Ben, he wasn’t going to help, but just to talk to Nick and generally get in the way.

“Why don’t you decorate for Christmas?” Gabe asked, looking around Mandy’s small house that was barren of Christmas decor.

“Lazy I guess,” Mandy replied. “Put it all up just to take it back down again.”

“But it doesn’t really feel like the holidays without it,” Gabe protested. “Not like Nick’s place.”

“It’s not really my thing,” Mandy said, hoping he would drop it.

“-not my business but-” she caught Ben’s voice drifting out from the kitchen, but then Teresa spoke up.

“Each person celebrates their own way,” she said quietly.

Mandy nodded. “I call my brother and my parents on Christmas, and sit around and eat chocolate all day,” Mandy said matter-of-factly, even though it sounded a bit sad.

“Family is important during the holidays,” Teresa’s voice almost broke on the word family. The silence stretched between the three of them and Mandy was stuck for what to say. Once again she wasn’t a comforting person, she just didn’t know what to say or do.

“I think it’s time for us to go,” Teresa said, standing up from the couch.

“Not yet!” Mandy said. “Wait!” She jumped up from the couch and ran into the kitchen where Nick and Ben were standing chest to chest like apes about to fight.

“Nick,” she said, ignoring their defensive postures and pushing the two apart so Nick would look at her, “they’re getting ready to leave.”

Nick’s eyes refocused on her and the frustration that had been boiling in his eyes simmered and disappeared. “Be right there,“ he said, grabbing for the dish towel to dry his hands.

When they emerged into the living room Teresa was gathering her things by the door.

Nick knew just what to do and went to Teresa’s side, gently touching her shoulder. He spoke something soothingly in Spanish and she smiled at him and then shook her head. Nick continued to speak softly to her and finally she walked back into the house and sat on the couch with Gabe.

Mandy bolted to the office and retrieved the wrapped packages.

 

 

Nick pulled a chair over and sat by the couch as Mandy handed the gifts to Teresa and Gabe. The kid looked excited, but his mother shook her head and tried to hand the brightly wrapped present back to Mandy.

“Es solo un pequeno regalo,” Nick assured her that it was just something small.

Teresa set the package on her knee and nodded to Mandy with a smile. “Thank you.”

“You don’t even know what it is,” Mandy blurted out, “so don’t thank me yet. Open it.”

Nick smiled. That mouth of hers. The filter from her brain was definitely broken.

Gabe looked eagerly at Mandy, waiting for permission to open his gift.

“Well, go on!” She urged.

Nick tried not to feel like he was watching someone else’s life, but he felt separate somehow. He and Ben, who lingered in the archway to the kitchen, were intruders here; They didn’t belong to this little made-up family. 

But then Mandy drew him in, by coming over and pushing his hands aside so she could sit in his lap. It wasn’t a sexy thing, well maybe a little, but she perched at the edge of his knee turned sideways so her feet were between his feet. Nick wanted to pull her into a hug, instead he comfortably rested his arm across her thighs and smiled up at her. She wasn’t even looking at him, just watching for Gabe’s reaction, but their physical connection was enough.

Gabe ripped at the paper and struggled to free to ribbon and bow from the package. The box underneath was plain, no indication what might be inside, and he tore it open carelessly, ignoring a frown from his mother, to get inside.

The kid held up the jersey and loudly said: “What? This is so great!”

Mandy had ordered the Seahawks jersey weeks before, and Nick could feel the excitement in her; All her muscles were tensed.

Gabe jumped up from the couch and pulled the jersey over his head: perfect fit. Eventually the kid would grow out of it, but Nick had money on Gabe keeping that jersey for the rest of his life. He ran over to Mandy and pulled her into a hug.

“Looks good on you,” Nick said when Gabe pulled back and looked at Nick. Then suddenly Gabe leaned over Mandy and hugged Nick briefly.

Nick patted the kid on the back. “Hey man, it was all her,” he admitted when Gabe released him.

“Thanks guys,” Gabe said before returning to the couch to sit next to his mother. He wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on though; He looked down at the jersey he was wearing, and pawed at it as though he wasn’t sure if it was real or not.

“Your turn,” Nick said, motioning to Teresa.

Mandy was still tensed up under his hand, but he knew it was because she was nervous this time. Having admitted to Nick that she’d known Teresa for years, but never really known her, she’d had no idea what to get the woman for a gift.

Teresa delicately opened the small package, carefully pulling the tape away from the paper and trying not to tear it. Nick smiled, watching her tackle each piece of tape and unwrapping the gift exactly the way it had been wrapped. Teresa was a person who did everything in her life the same way: carefully and thoughtfully.

When she finally got the small box open, Nick thought the suspense might kill Mandy. She was starting to shake a little. So he brought a hand up to her lower back and gently massaged circles there, trying to calm her down.

Ben’s shifting form caught Nick’s eye from the kitchen archway and he stole a glance in that direction. Ben’s look was withering and Nick resisted the urge to pull Mandy possessively closer to him. He knew her relationship with Ben wasn’t like that, no need to be jealous.

Teresa gasped and drew Nick’s attention.

“No puedo tomar esto. Es demasiado,” Teresa rambled in Spanish, her agitation from the gift driving her to her native tongue. But Nick understood. She felt she couldn’t accept the gift because it was too much. Mandy had been afraid of that.

“What is it mum?” Gabe asked, taking the card and its contents from his mother’s hands. “Plane tickets to Florida?” Gabe asked, looking up at Mandy with awe.

“So you can go visit your sister,” Mandy said to Teresa. And then she stood up and started to nervously ramble. “I know you were saying that you haven’t seen your sister since you moved here, and that she’s never met Gabe, so I thought: what better Christmas present than to send you to visit? I know the return flight is two days after school starts again, but it was the best price I could find. And two days of school isn’t really that much. Especially not after the holidays. And the tickets are non-refundable, so I can’t return them anyway-”

Teresa got up from the couch and pulled Mandy into a tight hug. Both women visibly relaxed immediately. Nick felt a smile cross his face. Mandy’s guilt over Matteo’s death had been weighing on her, and doing good things for his family, for Gabe, would help lift that from her; If only just a small amount.

Teresa pulled back from Mandy and wiped at her cheeks. “Thank you,” she said so softly Nick almost didn’t hear it.

 

 

Nick had returned to cleaning the kitchen while Mandy walked Gabe and Teresa out. She was beyond ecstatic that Teresa had accepted her gift. The tickets being non-refundable was a lie. But what was wrong with that if it got Teresa to accept it? The tickets hadn’t been that expensive. Nick had even pitched in a little. And Gabe’s jersey had been a hit. Overall the night was a success.

When she retreated from the door she found Ben sitting at the kitchen table looking smug.

“Where’s my present?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Mandy crossed her arms. “Your present is that I’ve been holding back my right hook all night,” she frowned.

“Don’t tease,” Ben smiled. He was still drunk, and holding another drink.

“Hey Nick!” Mandy called out, holding eye contact with Ben. “Can you come here?”

Nick wandered back from the kitchen drying his hands on a towel. “What’s up?” He asked.

“Why don’t you and Ben go outside and have a drink?” She suggested. “I’ll be out in a minute.” She headed for the bathroom.

“But there’s more dishes-” Nick started. She closed the bathroom door to cut him off. 

She didn’t actually have to use the bathroom, but she wanted Ben and Nick to sit down and talk with no one around. Hopefully Nick would put Ben in his place, though she doubted it. She just hoped that no punches would be thrown. Whatever it was between them needed to be resolved though, sooner rather than later if they were going to coexist in her life.

 

 

Nick sighed, tossed the kitchen towel back onto one of the counters and led the way to the back yard. It was dark, the only light spilling out from the house.

Ben dragged the lawn chair back outside from the dining room table and planted it across from Nick’s so they were forced to look each other in the eye.

Nick couldn’t help but think about the night of the football game; When Ben and Mandy had sat outside in the cool evening chatting. Nick doubted this talk would go as well.

“So,” Ben said with a snarky grin on his face as he leaned back in the chair and toasted Nick with the rye and coke he was holding before he took a large gulp.

“So,” Nick replied, lifting the beer he’d been nursing and taking a sip.

“I don’t like you,” Ben said suddenly, still smirking.

Nick narrowed his eyes. He’d had to deal with protective older brothers before, and he was going to treat this situation just like that. “Well, what you think doesn’t really matter to me Ben,” he spat the guy’s name out like a bad taste.

“It should,” Ben said.

“Why’s that?” Nick asked, anger beginning to fill his chest from the bottom up.

“Cause I know what she likes,” Ben answered. “And you aren’t what she likes.”

“I feel like that’s up to her,” Nick said, sipping at the beer again, hoping it would wash away the heat that was rising up in him, tensing his muscles in anticipation of a fight.

“I’m just telling you bro,” Ben said, and leaned forward conspiratorially as though he was trying to help Nick out. “You’ll never satisfy her.”

“I’ve been doin’ a fine job so far,” Nick said with a cold smile, gripping his beer bottle way too hard. “And I’m not your bro.”

“Oh I don’t think so,” Ben laughed. “I know the look in her eyes when she’s getting what she needs. I’ve put that look there myself a few times.”

The heat rose up into Nick’s throat like bile and all of the muscles in his arms tensed up, seemingly intent on crushing the glass bottle between his shaking white fingers. He clenched his jaw and tried to breath deep to calm himself.

“Do you wanna catch a beating man?” Nick asked, his voice shaking.

Ben’s face suddenly went cold and he leaned forward. “I want you to leave Mandy the fuck alone,” he said. Nick could smell the liquor wafting across on his breath. “You’re no good for her. I know your type: Handsome cowboy in a party town. You don’t think she told me about your reputation? Banging prostitutes and making eyes at every girl you work with? Mandy doesn’t need some douchebag stepping out on her.”

The idea that anyone thought he would step out on Mandy pushed him over the edge. Who had put these ideas in Ben’s head? Mandy? Sadness tainted his anger and Nick stood up, turned away from Ben and threw the lawn chair hard enough that it hit the back fence. He walked away from Ben.

“Anger issues too,” Ben surmised, “yeah I really need you to get away from my girl.”

Nick leaned his forehead against the fence and closed his eyes. With everything he had, he summoned up an image of Mandy’s smiling face in his mind. The plump cheeks, generous lips, soft brown eyes. Her hair was falling in her face like it always did, getting tangled in her glasses. With the image of her face came the memory of sensations: the way her arms felt when they wrapped around his waist and pulled him in for a hug; her body tucked against his, just under his chin; Laughter rippling through her body and infecting him. One more deep breath and he felt calm.

Nick turned back toward Ben who was still reclined in the chair with a look on his face like he had Nick’s number.

“You should go,” Nick said.

“Or what?” Ben asked, standing up and walking toward Nick. “What’re you gonna do if I don’t?”

“Ben you need to leave,” Mandy said from the patio door. She was standing just inside, her arms wrapped around her body. 

“Before you ruin Christmas, you need to leave.”

“Ruin Christmas?” Ben laughed. “Have you seen the mess he made of your lawn chair? And I’m the one ruining Christmas?”

“Cab’s waiting out front,” Mandy said. She stepped out into the yard and grabbed his arm.

Ben followed her inside. He made remarks to her the whole time that Nick only caught snippets of: “-need to get rid-” and “-accountant was better-” even “-sure he’s good in bed but-”

Nick stayed in the yard, waiting for the house to be empty, waiting for his temper to burn itself out completely.

 

 

Mandy deposited Ben in a cab. He still had the rye and coke, but honestly, she didn’t care if she ever got the glass back.

Once the cab pulled away she looked back at her house. It was quaint, and small, but she loved it. The tree in the front yard that was making a mess of her sidewalk, the office window that only had one shutter; It was her to a tee. Some people say that you look like your pets, Mandy felt she looked like her house. A little disheveled and disorganized, but cute as hell when you got past all that.

Slowly, she walked up the sidewalk, avoiding the root, and heading back inside. She’d only overheard part of the conversation with Ben before she’d gone back inside to call the cab. It would have been better if she hadn’t heard any of it. Why did Ben have to be such a dick? He was intent on ruining things.

The house was empty, and she didn’t check, but she assumed Nick was still in the yard. She left him on his own. The anger she’d seen coursing through him was something she’d seen before when he worked on cases, but she hated that he felt that way about someone that was close to her. Same as when he was working, Nick just needed some space to cool down. Goddamn Ben. Why couldn’t he just be civil? He seemed intent on making everyone other than Mandy hate him.

The kitchen was only half cleaned, and normally Mandy would have put on some music and played video games to ease the tension in her, but cleaning seemed a better use of her time.

She was digging under the sink for a new dish cloth when she heard Nick come into the kitchen. She didn’t say anything, but continued what she was doing, waiting for him to break the silence.

“It can wait until tomorrow,” he said.

“I’m almost done,” she said, trying to sound chipper but failing miserably as she straightened up and grabbed some dirty dishes, keeping her back to him. Some of the things Ben had said could only have come from her. How would he have known that Nick had dated a prostitute and was the lab flirt? As a CSI it wasn’t going to take him long to figure out where those details had come from, and she didn’t want to see the disappointment in his eyes.

Nick came up behind her, running his hands up over the fabric covering her back, gripping her neck to massage the tense muscles there.

Mandy leaned back into his strong hands and let out a happy moan as her neck went limp.

Nick moved his body up against her back and she could feel his excitement pressed against her.

If she was being totally honest with herself, watching him throw that chair across her yard had aroused her more than it had made her mad.

Mandy dropped the remaining dishes in the sink, reached back between them and put her hand to the front of his jeans to let him know she was into whatever he had planned; Even if it was subtle, he always asked and waited for her permission.

Knowing his signature romantic moves she fully expected him to turn her around, plant a kiss on her and then drag her to the bedroom. Instead he let her hair down, ran one hand up into the loose locks, while the other slipped around her waist and popped the button on her jeans. He slipped that second hand down into her underwear and straight into the wetness there.

Mandy arched her back against him as he stroked her arousal and sent a sharp bolt of pleasure through her. Using the hand that was down her pants he pulled her hard against him, moving his hips into her.

Nick kissed the back of her neck and moved his lips slowly up to her ear while his fingers continued to quickly circle around between her legs causing her to squeal and buck back against him. Usually he didn’t start so vigorously. Nick was normally the slow start type, building up the pleasure with even steady strokes and licks. But now she was trapped between his body and the hand that was quickly making breathing harder and harder to accomplish.

Suddenly he stopped, his hand stilled, hovering just over the throbbing ache between her thighs.

“What do you want?” He whispered in her ear. His voice was serious, dangerous, but she almost laughed aloud. He was playing her just the way she’d played him that morning.

She wanted to be coy and start with “I want you,” like he had that morning, working their way up to the dirty talk, but Mandy was too aroused for that nonsense and needed him.

She leaned back against his body, giving him complete control over her. “I want you to fuck me hard Nick,” she said, keeping her voice low, craving those fingers of his that were so close to where she wanted them.

Nick growled appreciatively in her ear, pressed two fingers into her as a reward for her answer, and slipped his hand out of her pants. He slid her jeans and underwear down to her ankles and she heard him undoing his own jeans. One of his knees nudged at her legs to urge her to spread them as far as she could with her pants still hooked around her feet. A hand between her shoulder blades pushed her toward the counter. It was almost rough, just on the verge, and Mandy’s body pulsed with the need for him to be rougher.

“I’m not gonna break,” Mandy huffed out as she obeyed and bent over the counter, hands gripping the edge.

Nick’s right hand tightly grabbed her shoulder just at the base of her neck, fingers digging in just above her collar bone. With no warning he slid into her all the way, pushing hard against her and groaning loudly.

Mandy squealed in surprise and pleasure at the sudden sensation and she hoped he didn’t think he’d hurt her and stop to ask. But he seemed to know her noises well enough, and instead of slowing or stopping he used his hold on her shoulder and gripped her left hip hard pulling her against him as he used his hips to crash into her. 

It was delicious and hard and fast. A rough kind of sex they hadn’t experimented with yet. They’d had quick passionate sex, but never something so forceful. It turned Mandy on more than she would have thought, and the friction became less as her body responded to the feeling of Nick slipping in and out of her faster and faster, their skin meeting loudly.

Mandy wasn’t stupid. She’d heard the things Ben had said to Nick. This sex was all about owning her, possessing her, knowing that she belonged to him. She didn’t resent it, and knew exactly what was going on in Nick’s head because she’d felt it herself. The night they’d all gone dancing at the bar, and she’d watched Catherine manhandle Nick all night; If she hadn’t sprained her wrist that night there was no doubt in her mind that she would have done something similarly possessive to Nick in her bed.

Mandy took her hand from the edge of the countertop and slipped it between her legs, tentatively circling the wet throbbing area that was denied stimulation in their current position.

Nick was picking up his already impossible pace, slamming into her body over and over and the extra sensation provided by her fingers was almost too much. She hung her head down below the countertop and let Nick’s thrusts push moan after moan out of her body.

Unsure how it could be possible, she still craved more. She looked over her shoulder and met Nick’s eyes which were lit up with excitement.

“Harder,” she demanded in between involuntary noises.

A look crossed Nick’s face for a moment as he looked down at her body, a tender look like he was afraid to hurt her.

Mandy made sure he was watching her face again before she bit her lip, and moaned out: “Please.”

Nick gripped her skin tighter, she was sure it would bruise, but she didn’t care, and he pulled their bodies together even harder than before.

Something about that extra little space he found inside her set Mandy’s body on fire. The sensations drowned her and she closed her eyes and let herself be swept away. Vaguely she was aware that Nick was still pushing toward his own finish, and she focused all her energy into staying on her feet and not letting her knees buckle the way they wanted to. His grip on her helped, and she slowly came back to herself, his rough movements still choking sobbing moans from her throat. She brought both hands up to the counter again and gripped it hard to stay standing.

“God Nick, that feels so fucking good,” she called out to him.

Then Nick’s hands released her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, leaned over her body, his stomach pressed against her back, and pushed himself deep inside her one more time, holding himself there while he trembled around her, groaning out: “Mandy. Oh god. Mandy,” into her ear.

 

Collapsed on the couch, they were tangled in each other and Nick couldn’t tell where Mandy started and he ended. She was tucked under his chin where she liked to cuddle up; Truth be told, he liked it too. 

Sweat was cooling on their skin, causing them to stick together, but neither of them cared. They were so weak from their kitchen antics that they hadn’t been able to make it as far as the bedroom and had settled for the couch, using what ittle energy they had left to shed their clothes.

Nick was running his fingers through Mandy’s hair while she breathed softly against him.

“That was really fun,” she said.

He’d been worried. Scared that he’d been too rough with her, that he’d hurt her. But she seemed to really like it based on his observations: she’d asked for more, the sounds coming out of her had all been happy sounds, and the rougher he’d gotten the more wet she’d been. Nick started to get hard again just thinking about it and switched to thinking about tying his bootlaces instead.

“Really fun,” Nick agreed. “Not somethin’ for everyday,” he amended, “but really, really fun.”

She got quiet, and he thought maybe she’d fallen asleep.

“He’s not really a bad guy,” Mandy said softly against his chest.

Nick didn’t want to talk about Ben, so he stayed quiet and tried not to let his anger at the guy resurface.

“I think…” she hesitated, but then in true Mandy fashion plowed on ahead anyway. “I think he wants me to be alone because he’s alone. Which I know is shitty, but it’s the best excuse I can figure for him.”

“Seems to me like he wants you for himself,” Nick said. “Not that I can blame him,” he added, kissing her forehead softly.

Mandy shook her head. “It’s not that. I know he gives that impression, but it’s not like that.”

“How do you know that?” Nick asked.

“Because we tried it once a long time ago and it didn’t work out for either of us,” she said.

Not what he wanted to hear. Again, he stayed quiet.

“We talked about it over the years,” she said, “when we were single. Should we try again? And we both decided that we’re just friends.”

Nick continued to run his hands through her hair, massaging at her scalp.

“Friends don’t try to sabotage friend’s relationships,” Nick pointed out.

Mandy pulled herself closer to him, her fingers digging into his lower back as though she were afraid Ben would be able to get between them, even in absence.

“He’s not your friend Mandy,” Nick said.

“Yes he is,” she said adamantly. “Sometimes people aren’t at their best. You can’t just abandon them.”

“Sometimes you have to let bad people go,” Nick said, “let them out of your life.”

“I can’t,” Mandy said. “He doesn’t have anyone else.”

“I wonder why,” Nick said.

Mandy sat up on her elbow and looked into Nick’s eyes. He expected her to look angry, but she looked sad instead, her eyes glossy. He hadn’t meant to make her cry, and dropping friends was Mandy’s decision, not his; Where did he get off telling her to kick people out of her life?

“I’m sorry,” Nick said, bringing his hand down from her hair to her cheek. “I’m still just mad that’s all.”

“You know that case from yesterday that was bothering you?” She asked. “The woman locked in the house and no one even knew she was dead?”

Nick nodded.

“I don’t want that for Ben,” she said. “Sometimes people end up alone because they push everyone away until no one cares about them anymore. I’m scared he’s going to end up like that. All alone, drinking himself to death in his shitty little apartment.” Tears threatened at the corners of her eyes.

Nick kissed her softly and they opened their lips to each other to breathe in each other’s breath.

Once they broke away she added: “He never used to be like this. When we get together just the two of us it’s like he’s the old Bennie again. He’s like part of my family and I just can’t let him go.”

Nick slid his hand back up into her soft hair and pulled her head back to his chest.

“If he’s family then he’s family,” Nick said, knowing what it was like to have family that wasn’t blood. “And I’ll just have to make things right between us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not speak Spanish... And used Google Translate for the few little sentences that I have in here... Please tell me if it's wrong... And I'll fix it up right away!


	18. Christmas Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas day rolls around and Nick gives Mandy her gift. Mandy panics when she doesn't have one to give in return.
> 
> Definitely smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reals. This is the last Christmas chapter now... sorry this ended up coming around in July.

Christmas Eve was always busy: Suicides, car wrecks involving too much liquor, family fights ending in serious damage to persons and property, the list went on and on.

In a rare moment of quiet, Mandy snuck into the break room to see what kind of goodies had been set out. It was tradition for the department to provide seasonal junk food on the days when it sucked most to be at work; The days everyone else was out celebrating with their families. The trays of cookies were abundant and had been picked over, but still offered plenty to choose from.

Mandy was just stuffing a second gingerbread man into her mouth when Nick jogged around the corner and down the hallway toward the labs.

“Stokes!” She called out, spitting crumbs everywhere, and immediately covering her mouth. She poured a fresh cup of coffee, and tossed back a molten sip to clear her mouth of holiday sweets.

Nick jogged back down to the break room and scooped up several pieces of fruit cake. “Hey Mandy, what’s up?”

“Got your prints all done,” she replied, referring to the case he was working on, “only one set came up in IAFIS. Alain Bartois.” She tried her best on the French pronunciation, but completely butchered it.

Nick smiled at her as he nibbled his fruit cake. “Awesome. What do we know about him?”

“He’s currently serving 10 years in Canada for burglary,” she said. “Sorry for the bad news.”

“I actually think that makes sense,” he said cryptically, shoving the rest of the cake into his mouth before turning back to the hallway.

“I can’t believe you can eat that stuff,” she wrinkled her nose, “it smells like formaldehyde.”

“Tastes a little like it too,” Nick winked at her before heading down the hall toward DNA.

Mandy topped up her coffee and was about to head back to her lab when Nick returned to the break room.

“Me and the team are going out for breakfast after shift,” Nick said softly, looking around to make sure they weren’t overheard, “and then I’m gonna come pick you up at your place if that’s alright with you?”

“Pick me up?” Mandy asked, also keeping her voice low. “For what?”

“For your Christmas present,” he smiled at her and narrowed his eyes like it was a foolish question.

Mandy narrowed her eyes right back. “Why do you need to pick me up for it? Can’t I just open a box and be done with it? Rip off some fancy paper?”

Nick shook his head. “Not this time.”

“Alright,” she said, “text me when you’re on your way. What should I wear?”

“Casual,” he said, “jeans and a t-shirt.”

“See you after work,” she said.

Nick put a hand to her waist and leaned in like he was going to kiss her before he realized what he was doing and where they were. He pulled his hand back like she’d electrocuted him. The anxious look on his face didn’t disappear even when he looked around and found that no one had seen it.

“Merry Christmas Mandy,” Nick said loudly, attempting to be casual, but his voice sounded strained.

“Right back at you cowboy,” she replied with her standard flirtatiousness.

 

 

“Merry Christmas!” Warrick held up his glass of orange juice to cheers the rest of the team.

Everyone held up their glasses and clinked them together like it was champagne instead of juice or coffee. The only member of the crew missing was Catherine. She had the day off to spend with Lindsay. But everyone else had come out for breakfast: Sara, Greg, Warrick, even Grissom who was picking up the tab.

Nick couldn’t remember a better Christmas tradition than breakfast with the crew. When he was younger it was all big dinners and prominent guests and “make sure to be nice to the senator’s daughter Nick,” until he thought the rest of his life would be pleated table cloths and senator’s daughters. 

Instead he’d picked a different life, and since he was the youngest, it hadn’t seemed to bother his father and mother as much as he had expected. The older kids had paved the way for the Stokes family name, so Nick had sidled off to make the world a better place.

Along the way he’d accidentally picked up a new family, not that he didn’t love his flesh and blood, but picking a family meant more; They loved each other because they wanted to, not because they were obligated.

Thinking about his CSI family he realized that it was the same with his relationships. He’d always been picked by the girls he’d dated. They picked him out in the crowd and pushed their way into his life and he let it happen because they were beautiful and what he knew he should want; What he did want at the time. But he never chose them first. They were beautiful women in a sea of beautiful women. Individual and unique, like snowflakes. But you don’t pick out snowflakes in a blizzard, you trudge through the snow. Mandy was different; He’d picked Mandy. Unprecedented. He’d walked up to her and said: “I want you,” not the other way around.

“You seem distracted,” Sara said softly, leaning close to him on his right.

Nick shook his head to clear away the train of thought he’d been following. “Naw,” he said, “just tired.”

Sara smiled that knowing smile and took a sip of her coffee.

“That’s it for me,” Warrick announced across the table, followed by boos from the rest of the crew.

“Come on man, we haven’t even eaten yet,” Nick protested.

“Yeah yeah,” Warrick waved away the complaints. “Gotta get home to the wife.”

“What’s another twenty minutes?” Greg asked.

“Another twenty minutes is me sleepin’ on the couch Greggo,” Warrick laughed. “See you guys later.” He gulped the rest of his juice and headed out the door.

“What is everyone else up to today? Big holiday plans?” Greg asked. “Sara?”

“Not particularly,” she said. “Just another day.”

“Just another day?” Greg scoffed. “Come on Nick, what about you?”

“Gotta call my family, and then just sleep I guess,” Nick said.

He shot a sideways look at Sara, whose mouth quirked at the same time as her left eyebrow, the way it did when she was being mischievous.

Nick smiled back at her behind the cover of his coffee cup; His own little Christmas gift to her.

“What about you Greggo?” Nick asked to keep the conversation moving along.

“It’s Christmas tradition in the Sanders household to have a Christmas movie marathon and drink hot chocolate until you feel sick,” Greg replied proudly.

Nick smiled, and leaned back in his chair. How different their childhoods had been.

“There’s lots of hot chocolate to go around,” Greg offered, looking around the table.

“As pleasant as that sounds Greg, I’m working on a research paper,” Grissom said.

Sara shook her head. “Frankly, that sounds disgusting Greg.”

“Suit yourselves,” Greg replied.

 

 

The first thing Mandy did when she got home was call her parents. The conversation was brief and pleasant, but distant. Nothing new. They were planning to go over to Justin’s and see the grandkids, so they had to go. She let them go.

Then she called Justin immediately, hoping to get a little time to talk with him before he was inundated by their parents.

He answered the phone right away and she could hear children screaming happily in the background.

“Sounds like the girls are having a good Christmas,” Mandy said, walking into the backyard and settling onto the grass cross legged. Gabe had just cut the lawn, and it felt sharp and dry against her fingers.

“Oh yeah,” Justin replied. “Totally spoiled this year.” She heard the voices fade in the background, and then a door close. She could almost hear the cold over the line. The flicking of a lighter.

“Still smoking?” Mandy asked.

The exhale of the first puff of smoke has a certain sound to it, not quite like just breathing out.

“Yeah, so what?” Justin asked. “Don’t gimme shit about it ok? It’s Christmas for Chrissakes.”

“Ok. Merry Christmas. I’m not going to give you shit for smoking because it’s like, one of the worst possible things you could do ever and you’ll probably die early leaving your little girls without a father,” Mandy said. “Since it’s Christmas, I won’t do that.”

“You’re such a shit head,” Justin said with a laugh.

“I just talked to mum and dad and they said they’re on their way over,” Mandy said. “So I hope you’re not smoking on the front step.”

“Garage,” Justin said, “it’s too damn cold to be outside.”

It was a cool Vegas morning, and Mandy could feel the evening’s chill seeping up into her from the ground. But that was nothing compared to the snow and frigid temperatures of South Dakota in December. Definitely something she didn’t miss.

“Just wanted to check in,” Mandy said. “Wish you a Merry Christmas and all that.”

“Merry Christmas sis,” Justin replied. She could hear the draw on the cigarette. “How’s that guy you’ve been seeing? Steve or something?”

Mandy smiled. Justin had always had the worst memory. “Nick,” she said, “but I can see how you would make that mistake. He’s good. Things are good.”

“Good, like, slowing down and it’s alright for now but maybe he’s not the right guy for me good? Or good, like, maybe this is gonna go somewhere else good?” It was a pretty eloquent question as far as Justin went.

“Just good,” Mandy said, “trying not to think too hard and overanalyze it.”

“Well, when it gets to that second one-”

She cut him off. “If. If it gets to that second one.”

“If,” he corrected himself, “then make sure you bring him up here to meet us all.”

“You guys could come visit,” Mandy offered.

The line was silent for a few minutes and she could hear him puff smoke in and out. “You know Mandy, with the kids…” They’d had this conversation a million times before. “It’s tough,” he ended lamely.

“I know,” she said, trying to keep the sadness from her voice. She was proud of the life she’d built. The house she’d bought. She wanted her family to see it, to share it with her. Maybe even, god forbid, be proud of what she’d accomplished in more ways than just a vague “congrats” in a text or email. “Maybe one day. You’ll start that garage you’ve been talking about and then you’ll be a millionaire.”

She could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke, but his words were tainted with sadness. “Yeah. One day.”

The doorbell went off in the background muffled by the distance and Justin’s garage door.

“That’ll be the parents,” he said apologetically.

“Totally,” Mandy said. “Say hi to Jenna and the girls for me.”

“Will do,” he said. “Say hi to Steve for me.”

“As soon as I meet a guy named Steve I will tell him you said hi,” she joked.

“Bye sis,” he said before hanging up. 

Saying “I love you” was a rare thing in their family, reserved for weddings and maybe the birth of a child. Christmas wasn’t a time for “I love yous.”

“Bye,” she said to the empty line before hanging her phone up and dropping it into the dry grass. She laid back on the ground, the lawn prickling her through her shirt. The sky was clear and such a light blue it was almost white. 

Sometimes she wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. It was one of those times. Her eyes welled up, but nothing came out. She blinked tight, willing the tears to fall. Nothing. Trying to wring water from a stone. Of course her family was important to her, they were her family. But she’d just never felt close to them the way she thought she should. Phone calls were rare. Sharing emotions even more rare. She’d had a good childhood, with lots of happy memories. And yet there was some kind of distance there she’d never understood. A rift between all of them. Like having kids was something her parents thought they should do, but really hadn’t wanted.

Mandy’s thoughts wandered to Ben and she wondered where he was. Probably drunk and/or high, passed out in someone’s bed.

“Merry fucking Christmas,” she said aloud to the perfect blue sky.

 

 

A knock came to the door, and Mandy realized she’d been staring at clouds for so long she almost forgotten her call with Justin. 

It hadn’t been a normal knock: one long, four short. Nick.

She sat straight up on the lawn, chilled through, and bolted for the door, which opened just before she got to it.

“Woah baby,” Nick said with a smile, catching her in a hug as she reached the front door. “What’s goin’ on?”

Wrapped up in Nick’s warm arms she realized just how cold she was.

Nick seemed to realize at the same time as she did and started to rub comforting circles on her back. “You’re freezing sweet pea,” his voice was full of concern.

“I sorta drifted off on the lawn,” she said, a bit of a headache starting to creep in, and her melancholy over the holiday beginning to make her feel grumpy.

“Let’s get you in the shower before we head out,” Nick offered, pushing her into the house and closing the door behind him.

His leather jacket was smooth and cool under her fingers and the smell wafted up to fill her senses. It creaked when her fingers gripped his arm tight, and let him drag her toward the bathroom.

“Sensible advice Stokes,” she said as he shoved her into the bathroom but didn’t follow.

She was a bit disappointed, and left the bathroom door ajar just a little while she steamed up the room, but he didn’t join her. Undoubtably he was excited about wherever he was taking her and didn’t want to get distracted.

Mandy climbed out of the shower with her headache and temperature under control, but a little sexually frustrated which didn’t help her grumpiness.

Nick had set some clothes out on her bed, and she changed into a pair of jeans and a tight tank top.

He was watching sports highlights in the living room, but clicked the TV off as soon as she came into the room. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her waist, while she looped her arms around his neck.

“Feelin’ better baby?” He asked, dropping a sweet peck on her lips.

“Much,” she admitted, pressing her body against his to see if she could maybe get a quickie before their date.

Nick backed up a step out of her arms, grabbed his jacket and motioned to the door. “Ready?”

Mandy smiled away her disappointment, grabbed a jacket, and followed him out the door.

 

 

Nick knew something was off. Apart from the fact that Mandy seemed to have forgotten he was picking her up for their Christmas date, she’d been freezing to the touch from sleeping on her lawn.  
Since she hadn’t shown any interest, actually negative interest, in decorating her place he was worried it was a Christmas thing. Then he started to second guess the idea of a date on Christmas day. Maybe she just wanted to be alone.

Well, they were in the car driving. Committed to the date. He’d do what he could to cheer her up and make it a good one. Hopefully the surprise wouldn’t be too much.

The drive was quiet, Mandy stared out the window and didn’t say a word.

 

 

The time of day and day of the year conspired to make the line short, and Nick was happy to see they wouldn’t have to wait long. Anticipation of a thing was often worse than the thing itself.

“No,” Mandy said, but he couldn’t tell if she was actually upset, or just playing it.

He hedged his bets. “Come on,” he coaxed, holding her hand, “you said you’ve never been on one.”

“This is your idea of a Christmas surprise?” Mandy asked sceptically, letting him lead her toward the roller coaster. “For future reference I would have settled for chocolate. I would have enjoyed chocolate. I wouldn’t have wanted to kill you after eating a whole box of chocolate.”

“It won’t be that bad,” Nick scoffed, now pulling on her arm since she was starting to put up some resistance.

That’s when he saw it in her face. Fear. She was actually afraid. And then she planted her feet and leaned back from his grip causing him to trip over his own feet and backtrack so he didn’t fall over.

“I can’t,” she said, the fear creeping into her voice as she leaned her head back to look up at the looming ride.

Nick stepped close to her, taking her into his arms. “Yes you can,” he said softly, hoping he sounded comforting.

“No, I really can’t,” she said, trying to back away out of his arms, but he held her tight.

“Stop Mandy,” he directed her softly. “Stop. Stop. Stop.” He said the word over and over again until she stopped trying to scurry away from him. “Look at me.”

She peeled her eyes away from the coaster and looked at him. Hard to see in her dark eyes, her pupils were blown wide with fear and adrenaline. Nick smiled at her.

“I’m not gonna make you go baby,” he said. “If you don’t want to, then we can leave right now and-”

“Sounds like a plan Tex,” she blurted out, trying to turn in his arms and make for the exit, but he held her tight.

“But,” he drew the word out long until she stopped struggling and looked back into his face. “Just think about it alright? Just for a minute?” 

She was shaking a little under his hands. He’d never known somebody so afraid of something so simple. But he guessed when you didn’t get roller coasters out of the way as a kid all you knew about them was people screaming and loud noise. No doubt that tension just kept building up if you didn’t relieve it. “I’ll be right there beside you sweet pea,” he said.

“Really reassuring if the car flies off the track and kills us both,” she joked darkly, before shooting him an apologetic look.

“I’m not gonna thrill you with the odds on that not happenin’,” Nick said, “but they’re definitely in favour of you livin’.”

Mandy leaned into his chest, arms folded up between them. “I know, I know,” she said. She looked back up over his shoulder at the ride. A good sign. She was thinking about it.

It wasn’t anywhere near the scariest one in Vegas. In fact he’d brought her to a pretty easy nice starter coaster. Something kids would ride. Maybe, if she enjoyed it, they would start moving up the food chain to the bigger ones.

“You can hold my hand the whole time,” Nick offered, afraid that anything he said might scare her away, but they couldn’t just stand looking at the thing all day long.

“I might break your fingers,” she said, a smile quirking her mouth. God that mouth. Too much of the time when he looked at it he just wanted to linger on the memories of her use of those lips in his bedroom.

Nick swallowed hard and thought about tying his bootlaces for a minute before he responded. “That’s a deal,” he said. “You ride the coaster with me, and you have permission to break my hand.”

Mandy’s wonderful lips broke into a full smile this time, and that wonderful sassy daring that he loved about her took possession of her features again, the fear suppressed for the moment.

“Let’s do it,” she said, her voice still a little shaky, but more resolved. “What the hell. Life is about having adventures, right?”

Nick nodded and smiled in return, rewarding her bravery with a kiss that bordered on inappropriate for a public place before he pulled back and started thinking about his boots again.

 

 

Mandy screamed almost the entire time. But it wasn’t as bad as she expected. Maybe it was just years and years of built up fear of the thing bursting out of her all in one go. But she screamed almost the entire time. She also squeezed Nick’s hand for the whole ride. True to his word, he let her. When the car pulled up to a stop at the end, she let go of him, and his fingers were white for a full five minutes before he could get blood flowing back into them again.

“I was joking about breakin’ my hand Mandy,” he said, “damn.”

“We had a verbal agreement,” she teased him. “And verbal agreements are valid in the state of Nevada as long as they don’t pertain to the transference of personal property or illegal services and products.”

“Is that true?” Nick asked.

Mandy shrugged. “Probably not, since I just made it up.”

Her blood was buzzing. She was high on adrenaline. And it wasn’t as bad as she had thought it would be. She wanted to run a marathon, or leap tall buildings in a single bound, or just pull Nick into any quiet private space and have her way with him. It didn’t even need to be a private space.

On their way back to the car, she realized that she still hadn’t gotten Nick anything for Christmas and started to panic.

Panic and adrenaline weren’t mixing well, and Mandy thought she might hyperventilate. How could she have forgotten? Probably because she wanted to, since she had no idea what in the world to get the guy. It wasn’t that she didn’t know him, but he lived a simple life, and he had everything he needed or wanted.

“I still can’t believe you’ve never been on a roller coaster,” Nick mused aloud. “What did you do as a kid?”

Mandy shrugged. “Small town South Dakota,” she said, “there wasn’t much opportunity for roller coasters. On the weekends me and my brother and his friends would…” she trailed off. Nick had given her an experience as a gift instead of an actual open-a-box present. Why couldn’t she do the same?

“You would…” Nick prompted her to continue as they reached his SUV.

“Time for your present now,” Mandy said with a wink, grabbing the keys from his hand before he could unlock the door.

Nick sighed and leaned against the side of the vehicle. “Listen Mandy, I get it. Your blood’s up, you’re excited. Me too, but I don’t wanna mess up my upholstery.” He was smiling at her in that seductive way he always did. Always had actually. Until that moment she hadn’t noticed it, but the way he smiled at her hadn’t changed after they’d started dating. Had it always been in the back of their minds? The attraction to each other? Flirting had always come easier with him than most. Actually flirting had always seemed like the only way to talk to Nick Stokes.

Mandy wandered over to lean against him. She could feel his excitement against her thigh. Well, she wasn’t going to make it that easy for him. Especially not when he’d basically just called her a hornball.

“Such a dirty mind, cowboy,” she said, pushing her body harder against him. “But that’s not what I had in mind.” She pressed her lips to his and opened her mouth. Just as he was about to kiss her more deeply she pulled back flirtatiously and jumped into the driver’s seat.

When he didn’t immediately move to get into the truck she honked the horn loudly and startled him.

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’,” he said as he opened up the passenger door and climbed in.

It had been a long time since Mandy had driven anything bigger than her shitty little compact car, but she held her own in traffic. It wasn’t far to their destination anyway.

 

 

Mandy had a grin on her face as she drove, and Nick was just doing his best to try to get his libido in check. Wherever she was taking him he doubted he was going to get the chance to get any satisfaction. And his bootlaces were no longer proving the distraction they once had.

He didn’t even notice where they were until she pulled the key from the ignition and jumped out. She’d taken him to a parking lot on Tropicana. It was empty. The building she was walking toward had no windows and looked like it had seen some decades with rotating identities. Years of the sun beating down on different signs had faded letters, squares and rectangles onto the buildings exterior paint. Across the street was a large, fenced, empty lot full of weeds.

Nick stepped out of the truck and followed Mandy. Once he rounded the front of the building he stared at the sign over the door. Nothing fancy, large letters had been pieced together and stuck to the building to read: Pinball Hall of Fame. 

When he drew his eyes down from the sign he saw Mandy was holding the door open for him. He smiled at her, and tipped an imaginary hat brim at her as he passed through the doorway. “Ma’am,” he said, putting the Texas on thick.

Her eyes fired up at that, and she stuck the tip of her tongue out and then bit her lip when she pulled it back in. They could both play that game.

The space opened up overhead. Nothing fancy. High drop ceilings, plain concrete floor, and spread out in front of them rows and rows of flashing, brightly lit arcade machines.

Mandy changed a ten into quarters and split them up roughly, handing half to Nick.

“Merry Christmas,” she said.

Nick didn’t quite know what to say. It was an interesting choice.

Mandy started to walk down the first aisle, and Nick followed in her wake, pocketing the change she’d given him and feeling it weigh heavy in the pocket of his jeans.

“I found this place a few years ago,” she narrated as she walked, looking over the machines as though she was working on a math problem. Once in a while she’d stop and tilt her head at a game, and then she’d move along again. “It reminded me of when we were kids,” she said, “our town had a population of about fifteen thousand and there was nothing around. So on the weekend we would go down to the arcade.”

“You and your brother?” Nick asked gently. She hadn’t talked much about her family, or her home, and he didn’t know if it was hard for her. He didn’t want her to feel pressured.

Mandy paused for a second to look at another pinball machine. “Yup. Me and Justin and his friends.”

Nick didn’t push any further, if she wanted to say something else about her brother she would. He also didn’t ask: “what about your friends?” Though he desperately wanted to.

“There it is!” She said suddenly, jogging around the corner and standing reverently in front of an Indiana Jones game. Plucking a quarter from the pile in her palm, she plunked one into the machine, stowed the rest in her pocket, pulled back the plunger and started to play.

The bells and music that started to blast out of the machine were such a contrast to the relative quiet that Nick jumped a little. He looked around and realized that they pretty much had the place to themselves. Not surprising, considering the fact that it was Christmas day.

Mandy leaned into the machine and hopped a little on her feet every time she hit the flippers at the bottom; Adorable. Nick just stood back and watched her twist this way and that as she followed the progress of the little metal ball.

“I didn’t bring you here to watch Tex,” she scolded, without even turning around to look at him. “Roller coasters were a part of your childhood, this was a huge part of mine. Sharing and all that, right? So get to it.”

A few machines down he spotted a Guns N Roses machine. Wow, they made a pinball machine for everything. Quarters in hand, he put the first two in and pulled back the plunger.

“So tell me about this town’a yours,” Nick prompted, trying to focus on the game.

“Small, boring, full of rednecks,” Mandy said.

Nick didn’t reply, just waited for her to keep going, if she wanted to. When she started to speak again he turned to watch her.

“My brother and my parents are still there,” she went on. “It’s like…” She paused and stopped before she launched her next ball, staring at Harrison Ford’s picture, her thinking face on. “When you’re there, the outside world doesn’t exist.” Her fingers gripped the machine tight. “Everything stays the same there. Nothing ever changes.”

“Do you ever go back?” He asked.

Mandy pinched her lips and her eyebrows twitched together for just a second. Some things you learned on the job you just couldn’t leave at work, reading people was one of those things. This was an upsetting topic for her, and he felt bad. Christmas day wasn’t the day for heavy heartbreaking conversations.

“Nope,” she said breathed out, as though she was admitting something huge. “Ben doesn’t go back either.”

Back to Ben again. Nick wrestled with the jealousy that bubbled away inside him.

“I don’t like going home either,” Nick admitted, turning back to the machine and depositing another couple quarters. “But I miss my family.”

“All eighteen brothers and sisters?” Mandy joked.

Nick smiled and turned to find her grinning at him. “Four sisters, two brothers. All older.”

“Ah, little Nicky, the baby boy,” she jabbed, turning back to her game.

It was the first time he could remember her calling him Nicky. He didn’t like it. Everyone else called him Nicky: Griss, Catherine, Warrick, his brothers and sisters; But for some reason, coming from her he didn’t like it. Maybe it had always made him feel juvenile and young, like no one thought he’d grown up. Even when he’d been sleeping with Catherine she’d called him Nicky and it had made him feel young and inexperienced. He hoped that Mandy was just using it to joke with him, and that it wasn’t something she planned to adopt all the time.

“Hey Tex?” Mandy’s voice cut into his thoughts, and he realized she’d been talking to him and he hadn’t been listening.

He shot her a halfhearted smile. “Sorry,” he motioned to the machine. “Distracted by all the bells and whistles. Whadya say?”

“Why don’t you like to go home?” She asked, her tone implying repetition.

“It feels like going backwards,” he said. “It’s not my life anymore.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” she said.

 

 

They worked their way around the place, Mandy finding her favourites and playing each for a few rounds before she’d move on, Nick following diligently behind like a puppy even if he hadn’t used up all the balls on his machine.

She was getting close to the top score on the Top Gun machine when she felt him hovering behind her.

“Don’t watch over my shoulder,” she requested, “I’m close to the high score.”

Nick moved to the side and leaned on the machine next to hers, watching her fingers trigger the flippers.

“C’mon dude,” Mandy complained, “I can’t do this with you watching me like that.”

“Just cheerin’ on my girl,” Nick said. “Plus I’m outta quarters.”

“How can you be out of quarters?” She asked, her pocket still jingling with change.

“I didn’t spend a lotta time in arcades as a kid,” Nick explained, “I was doin’ my best to be a jock. Out playin’ baseball, football, whatever sport was in season. I’m not very good at all this.”

Mandy’s ball hit a few bumpers and her score jumped over the high score. Shortly afterward the ball rocketed right down the centre between the flippers and her game ended. She turned in a circle jumping up and down and screeching with excitement, just like she had when she was a kid. She grabbed Nick and pulled him in for a deep kiss and a hug.

“I’m gonna guess you won?” He asked, holding her tight against him. There was that excitement of his building back up again, she could feel it not-so-subtly pressed against her. “Does that mean we can blow this pop stand?” His voice got low and gravelly quick.

“I don’t think so,” she scoffed in his face and pushed back from him, biting her cheek to keep from laughing. “I still have a pocketful of quarters and I am going to get my money’s worth.” She pranced away down the aisle, elated with her victory, over the game and over Nick. She was going to tease him for as long as she could get away with it.

The next few games she played, Nick watched her from his perch on the machine beside hers. But then he got more bold. Standing behind her, he lightly held her hips with the tender tentative touch of a kid at an eighth grade dance. When she didn’t protest, his fingers pressed against her harder, and slid up under the hem of her t-shirt to touch the skin just above her jeans. Goose bumps bloomed all over her body.

Next, his body got closer to hers, his hands sliding around to her stomach. Hovering close behind her, she could feel his almost-touching like a tingle of anticipation across her skin.

Mandy did her best to ignore his attention and continue to play, but she was losing quarters at a devastating rate.

Once he finally pressed himself up against her back, he rested his chin on her shoulder, his breath flowing softly across her neck.

Two could play that game. When she lost her last ball, she fished another quarter from her pocket and bent unnecessarily low to deposit it into the machine, pressing her butt back into Nick’s obvious arousal, harder than she needed to. While she was there she wiggled around a bit and was rewarded with a low growl. Arching her back, she stood up slowly and let him wrap himself back around her.  
Nick’s lips found her ear and nibbled there. “If this is what arcades were like,” he breathed against her, ”why in the hell was I playin’ football?”

The shivers that went through her body at the want and whisper of his voice lit up every nerve ending and sent little twinges of pleasure through every part of her, peaking at her nipples which were suddenly very attentive.

Mandy continued to play, but her mind just wasn’t in it. Nick’s hands continued to distract her, moving from her hips, up under her shirt teasingly close to her bra, then back down over her jeans to press briefly in just the right spot before traveling back up to her stomach again. 

She wasn’t concerned that they’d be caught. The place was quiet and empty, one person sitting up at the front far from view.

Nick was kissing at her neck when she held up a quarter.

“Last one,” she announced as she plunked it into the machine.

She pulled back the plunger, and just as she was about to hit the flipper to bounce it back up, Nick licked a long hot line from her collarbone to her jaw, messing up her timing and causing her to miss.

The second shot was fumbled when he pinched at her sensitive skin through the thin cotton bra she was wearing.

The third ball stayed in play for far longer than she would have liked until finally she missed it on purpose and let it fall.

As soon as the game was over she turned in Nick’s grip, leaned back against the machine, grabbed his belt loops and pulled him against her for a kiss. He tasted salty, probably from licking at her skin, and she greedily sucked at his mouth.

Nick broke away from her to gasp in several breaths, resting his cheek against hers.

“Let’s blow this pop stand sweet pea,” he begged into her ear. It was almost a whine, and something about that needy request just about dropped her legs out from under her.

Instead she swallowed hard and gathered herself together. “You got it tiger,” she said, using the name she knew turned him on. Keeping her hold on his belt loops, she slipped out from between him and the machine and pulled him toward the exit.

 

 

Nick drove fast. He needed her. If it wasn’t broad daylight he even would have broken his “no sex in the car” rule. But it was the middle of the day. So Nick drove fast. Recklessly fast, his pants feeling tighter and tighter by the minute.

His place was closer, so that’s where they ended up. Bursting through the door, a mess of arms and legs stumbling over each other, tangling as they reached and grasped and stepped.

Once the door was closed, Mandy broke away from him and walked slowly, wiggling as she went, toward his couch. 

No, he thought, the bedroom, we need to get to the bedroom. 

But Mandy had other ideas in mind and fell unceremoniously onto the couch, shooting him a look. The look. She was just as eager as him.

“Don’t you wanna…” he trailed off and motioned toward the bedroom.

She cocked her head to the side, her hair falling into her eyes. “I was thinking,” she smiled and it was an evil smile, “our whole day so far has been kind of a flashback to the teenage years. Why not finish up with a make out session on the couch?” She put her thumb up to her mouth, bit the tip and then sucked on it.

Nick’s legs wobbled underneath him like he’d just been riding a horse all day, and he stumbled over to the couch and sat down next to her. She wasn’t going to make it easy. But what was the fun in having a girlfriend who was predictable and easy?

She turned on the TV, and smiled as she switched it from the sports highlights over to Animal Planet. Nick played along, did the fake yawn and threw his arm around her shoulder. Every single muscle in his body was aching to rip the clothes from her skin and taste and feel her body.

But then she kissed him. And it was so light and soft and sweet. Those generous lips moving smooth and slow against his own. He relaxed against her body and he did feel like he was a kid again: Nervous, anxious, but somehow just getting to kiss this girl would be enough if that was all she was willing to give him. He felt like jello, and he hugged her into him with the arm that was wrapped around her. His other hand found that place where he could rest his thumb along her jaw and tangle his fingers in her hair.

 

 

Mandy loved playing with Nick. Teasing, and making him wait just that little bit longer than he thought he could take. So when she watched him run stop signs to get them back to his place she seized the opportunity to be more than a little mean. 

The other thing about making Nick wait, was that when he was really excited, he tended to be more generous with his tongue. Something about his pride wouldn’t let him finish quickly if he could help it, so he would take frequent breaks to utilize the skills of his mouth. Mandy loved being manipulative sometimes.

Their make out session on the couch was progressing. Mandy lay on her back underneath Nick’s muscled bulk. His hands wandered everywhere, and sometimes seemed to be more than two places at once: In her hair, under her shirt, fingers pressing at the front of her jeans, a hand wrapped underneath to squeeze her butt. It did make her feel like a teenager again: Wandering hands, dry humping and wet underwear.

Looping her legs around his hips she forced him to grind harder against her body, pressing material against just the right spot to create that blissful rough friction that made her neck arch backward into the cushions and she breathed out a soft moan.

Nick stifled her noise with a hand, and leaned close to her hear. “Quiet, or my parents will hear you,” he panted desperately into her ear.

Mandy giggled through his fingers and looked up into his face. His playfulness startled her. He wasn’t usually one for games.

He undid her jeans, and slid down her body taking her pants and underwear with him. He tossed her clothes to the floor and her naked body settled against the soft warm couch. Nick smiled, raised an eyebrow at her, put a finger to his lips to signal that she should be quiet, and then settled down between her legs.

The anticipation was torture. His hands roamed over her skin, his breath alerting her just before he planted a kiss here or there on her thighs. Trailing his tongue along her skin, he traced her thigh up to her hip and then her stomach, bypassing the sweet spot completely.

Mandy frowned down at him, and Nick grinned at her as he licked a circle around her bellybutton. He lay his rough stubbly chin down on her stomach and continued to smile that lazy happy smile, biting his lip in concentration as he suddenly slipped a finger inside her and then out again, spreading the wetness all around slowly, missing the spot she wanted him to touch most. Mandy bit her lip to keep from making any noise, eyes locked with his the whole time.

Finally he laid kiss after kiss down her belly until he was back between her legs again. And still that anticipation tortured her as she lay her head back.

There wasn’t even a breath to betray his intentions when he finally flicked his tongue out to taste her. And then his whole mouth was on her, hot and frantic. Mandy grabbed a pillow and stuffed it against her face so she could stifle the cries that came out of her unwilling, still playing their quiet little horny teenagers game.

Curling her hips toward his attention, she held the pillow to her face with one hand, and with the other pushed his head against her. 

So close to orgasm she thought she might cry, he stopped. Thinking he was just repositioning she waited for a few seconds, but when he didn’t resume she tossed the pillow aside and sat up on her elbows.

“Ok,” she gasped, breath still returning after the stifling cover of the pillow, “you better have a really good reason for stopping. I was, like, this close dude.” She held her thumb and forefinger so close together they were almost touching.

Nick was watching her, and as she spoke his grin widened, crinkling his eyes, his pearly whites on full display.

“I know,” he said deviously, “you don’t think I know you well enough by now that I can’t tell?”

Mandy let out a frustrated noise and fell back into the pillows.

“If I gotta wait baby, then you gotta wait too,” he said as he crawled back up, careful to avoid any friction that would push her over the edge.

Mandy felt defiant. Intending to take matters into her own hands, literally, she slid her arms down between them to bring about her own orgasm. Nick kept his smile in place, adeptly grabbed her hands and pinned them against the couch over her head, laying his body against hers. She tried to wiggle around the right way to slide against his jeans and get where she needed to go, but her body was already stepping back from that edge and she couldn’t get enough momentum between them.

“You’re awful,” she said, but couldn’t help quirking up a smile.

“But you love me anyway,” he whispered against her lips as he moved in to kiss her.

The taste of her own body filled her mouth, and she groaned into his mouth as their kissing intensified. Nick let go of her hands so he could touch her body, hands gripping her sides and hips with strong fingers. Mandy wrapped her arms around his shoulders, running her fingers through his hair, arching into his body.

He was right. She did love him anyway.

 

 

Nick was losing himself in Mandy. 

The taste of her lingered between their tongues, and the feeling of her lapping her own flavour from his mouth made his pants feel tighter than they had in a long time. Normally at this point in their lovemaking, his clothes were off already. Not this time, and he was getting pretty uncomfortable.

She pulled back from the kiss and looked up at him with those big brown eyes, but the glare on her glasses robbed him of the full view. Propping himself up on one elbow, he slipped the glasses from her face and tossed them onto the coffee table.

“Alright cowboy,” she said, “your turn.” She pushed hard against his chest. She wouldn’t be able to move him unless he moved himself. He waited for long enough to crinkle her face with fake frustration before he moved to sit back on his heels.

Laid out below him, tight t-shirt hugging her curves, nothing on below the belt, he almost jumped right back on top of her.

She rolled off the couch and stood in front of him.

Nick sat back on the couch like he was about to settle in for the evening news, legs spread to accommodate his uncomfortably tight jeans, unsure what she had planned.

Mandy knelt down in front of him, undid his belt, popped the button on his jeans and slid them down to the floor, tossing them aside. She left his boxers in place.

Keeping their eyes locked, she bent over his lap and started kissing and licking at the skin just above his waistband. Nick squirmed, he couldn’t help it, every sensation she inflicted on him rushed downward along with all of the blood in his body. The only time he could remember being harder in his life was when she’d told him those stories and made him sit and watch. But this was a pretty close second, closing in on first.

Mandy worked her way up his stomach, circling his bellybutton with her tongue, wearing a look that said: See, this is how it feels jerk. Nick sat forward so she could slide his shirt up over his head. Kissing up his stomach she got closer to his collarbone and had to straighten up and press herself in between his thighs. The sudden pressure and friction against his excitement made his hips jerk into her stomach. 

More. He wanted more. He leaned forward and kissed her hard, running his hands from her neck down her chest, massaging at the peaked nipples he could feel through her shirt and bra. She moaned into his mouth and he groaned in reply.

Then her hands were on his chest pushing him backward into the cushions.

Nick closed his eyes and let out a frustrated grunt. When he opened his eyes again Mandy was smiling that evil smile at him again. She’d waited for him to open his eyes and watch before she continued. Kissing and licking back down his torso, causing his whole body to jerk when she stiffened the tip of her tongue to flick at each nipple before continuing downward.

When she reached his boxers she hovered her mouth over the tented material, holding his eyes and licking her lips before she mouthed at him through the fabric. The hot moist feeling made him twitch with need, and he let out a whine and brought a hand up to his mouth to bite at his knuckle to silence himself. It didn’t work.

She didn’t play for long before she slipped the boxers from his hips and threw them over her shoulder.

Taking him into her hand was almost too much for him to bear, and he sat forward again, taking her face into his hands and kissing her deep. He was hoping to distract her so she wouldn’t get him too excited too quickly. It didn’t work. She started firmly moving her hand up and down while holding him in the kiss with a hand at the back of his neck.

Gasping with pleasure and lack of breath, Nick collapsed back into the couch and groaned loudly.

Mandy stopped suddenly. “You made me be quiet,” she whispered, smiling wide. “Get a pillow if you need one.”

Nick shook his head. He wanted to watch her, he could hold his tongue.

“Be good,” she ordered.

The aching he felt when she finally took him into her mouth was almost painful. The sudden hot, wet pressure she provided, circling with her tongue, was so intense he felt like a teenager. Like it was the first blowjob he’d ever gotten. Her hair fell into her face, and he reached down with his hands and ran his fingers into her hair to keep it out of his line of sight so he could watch her. 

Before long his bottom lip was shaking as he struggled to maintain his composure and his voice. His fingers had fisted into her hair and he fought against pushing her head further down onto his body.

“Oh god Mandy,” he whispered.

As soon as he spoke, she backed off and sat back on her heels, licking and wiping at her lips to clear the saliva away. He loosened his fingers from her hair and let her slip away from him, but followed, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Good god baby why’d you stop?” Nick shuddered out.

She dropped a quick peck on his lips, before she moved to his ear and licked at him. “I’ve got other plans for you tiger,” she said.

 

 

Nick pulled her shirt roughly up over her head, and quickly worked the clasps of her bra so he could rip it off and throw it aside. All this done he pulled her into a kiss and tackled her to the floor.

Their naked bodies finally pressed up against each other she could almost feel his pulse beating he was so hard against her. All she wanted was for him to slip inside her and put that hardness to good use.

She got half her wish. Nick kept kissing her, and he still tasted like her, which was a huge turn on. At the same time one of his hands trailed down her body until it was between them, and then two of his fingers were inside, curling up against her g-spot just the right way to make her twitch against him. She turned her head to the side to let out a moan before she remembered they were playing a quiet game and bit her lip, almost too hard, to silence herself.

Panting against his neck she whispered: “Do you still want me to keep quiet?”

“No, I wanna hear you,” Nick huffed against her. “Make noise for me Mandy, baby.”

He curled his fingers more quickly and she squealed. “Nick!”

Then he removed the fingers and moved his mouth back down between her legs. Before he started with his tongue again he looked up at her. “Make all the noise you want,” he said with a smile.

Her sweating back was hot against the cold floor, and her hands reached out around her looking for something to dig her fingers into; She was accustomed to having sheets or pillows to grab at. Somehow it made the pleasure manageable if she could squeeze something. But there was nothing to grab, just open empty living room floor.

Nick licked long and torturously slow into her, building up his movements until he was clamped around her, sucking words and screams out of her.

With nowhere else to put her grasping hands, she teased at her own breast with one and put the other into his hair grabbing a handful. She tented her legs around him and used the leverage to move herself along with his tongue intensifying the sensations.

“Nick. Oh god Nick. Oh man. I’m going to come Nick,” she called out, ready for the release that was only seconds away.

And then the heat of his mouth was gone, her body tensed to shudder through her orgasm that wasn’t coming.

Before she could be upset about it or take another breath he was on top of her and inside her, his mouth covering her own, one hand slipped under her head to cradle it against the hard floor, the other hand gripping her shoulder to pull her onto him.

When his hips slammed into her the second time her body gave way and she whimpered against his cheek, wrapping her legs tight around his waist.

 

 

Nick felt Mandy tighten around every part of him; Arms around his neck, forcing him tight against her shoulder; Her legs were wrapped around him, pulling him deep inside of her; And as her orgasm coursed through her, all of her muscles tensed, clamping down around him. He slowed, but didn’t stop his thrusts while he held her close through the pleasure. Muttering nonsense into his ear, interspersed with his name, had him right on the edge.

Once her legs loosened up again he was able to resume the intense rhythm he’d set before. He moved both hands to her shoulders to pull her hard against him and propped himself up on his elbows so he could look down into her eyes, glazed with euphoria.

“Oh god baby,” he said just before he came. “Mand…” her name died on his lips with a groan as he pushed himself as deep as he could inside her, holding himself tight there.

Once the intense pleasure passed and his muscles started to relax he let himself collapse onto her, still holding up the weight of his upper body with his arms.

Mandy suddenly laughed, the constriction of her muscles forcing him out of her, and Nick rolled to the side.

“What’s so funny?” He asked, laying on his side snug against her, tracing circles on her abdomen.

She laughed again and turned toward him. “Merry Christmas,” she said.

“Jesus,” Nick said, “I think I forgot it was Christmas.” He threw an arm around her, pulled her close and they laughed together like that, shaking against each other.

Once they had both laughed themselves out, Mandy spoke up again. “I know I’ve said this before, but dude! I actually don’t think I can walk right now.”

Nick smiled into her shoulder and kissed the salty sweaty skin there. “We don’t got anywhere to be sweet pea,” he said.

“Except that I’m getting cold, and I would love to be snuggled into that big comfy bed of yours right now,” she said.

Nick looked down over her body at the goosebumps sprouting everywhere. He ran a thumb over one of of her perked nipples, and was rewarded with a soft moan.

“I could keep you warm right here for a bit longer,” he said, running his hand down between her legs and massaging the overly sensitive, dripping wet skin there.

Mandy flopped her head to the side to look at him as her eyes rolled up in her head. “You’re…” she trailed off to another moan. “Just the worst.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said with a grin and a wink. “I’ll stop then.” He removed his hand.

“By all means,” she sighed, “keep going. But maybe in bed?”

“It’s a deal,” he said, planting a quick kiss on her lips. 

He hopped up to his feet and offered her his hand. She took it, and let out a surprised shriek when he pulled her up to standing, bent down, and folded her over his shoulder into a fireman’s carry. He toted her to the bedroom and tossed her back down onto the bed. He jumped down next to her and put his fingers back in place to work her toward another orgasm.

 

 

Mandy woke up in Nick’s bed. The second climax he’d given her had tumbled her right into sleep. 

The insides of her thighs were sticky. She was on her side, her arm thrown over Nick. She was the big spoon for a change. 

Gently, she rolled onto her back and glanced at Nick’s clock. 4:30 PM. Great. No nice long sleep for her.

Unless he was having a nightmare, Nick slept like the dead, so it was easy for her to sneak out of bed and into the shower. The hot water was soothing and washed away the mess they’d made that afternoon.

The smell of brewing coffee was one of the few things that could rouse Nick from his deep sleep, and she wanted at least one of them to get a good rest. Plus, he deserved it after all the nice things he’d done for her before he drifted off. So Mandy opted to step out and go get a coffee.

 

 

Waiting at the coffee shop her mind was drawn to holidays past, and inevitably to Ben. While she waited for the milk to steam and the espresso to pour she dialled his number. No answer. Not straight to voicemail, just no answer.

Coffee in hand she headed to his place.

Ben’s apartment was a small top floor bachelor pad. Half the place was bedroom and the rest was split up into the saddest kitchen you’ve ever seen, a tiny bathroom that didn’t offer any space for a significant other to store their own things (totally the point), and a cozy little living room.

Mandy had a key, but never used it. More often than not if Ben was home he had someone with him. She’d walked in on it once, and had vowed never again. So the key sat on her keyring unused.

She rang his apartment three times before Ben buzzed her in. He didn’t say a word, just hit the button so the door clicked open.

The apartment door was open a crack when she got to the end of the hall on the top floor. She pushed in and found Ben reclined on the couch, a drink in hand already, dressed only in his boxers and a tattered bath robe. The look on his face told her he’d just woken up. Bright daylight filled the apartment from the big corner windows.

The apartment was sparsely decorated for the holidays; Cheap plastic dollar store decorations were taped up across the walls, some ending halfway across a wall where he’d run out and was too cheap or lazy to go get more. A little pre-lit tree stood on the little kitchen bar, surrounded by fake snow sprinkled unevenly on the granite surface.

“It’s five,” Mandy said, sitting down next to him on the couch. “Why aren’t you up and at’em yet lazy bones?”

Ben stretched his legs onto her lap, thought better of it and turned so his head was in her lap instead.

“You smell like sex my dear Mandy,” Ben said almost sadly, eyes closed, glass of whiskey and ice resting on his forehead.

“No I don’t,” she said.

“Smelling like a dude’s shower gel means you smell like sex,” Ben observed.

“First of all you know that I use men’s shower gel everyday,” Mandy countered, “and you didn’t answer my question. How come you were still in bed? It’s five pm.”

Ben opened his eyes, squinted against the light and looked up at Mandy. “Me and Jacob didn’t get to sleep until late.” He motioned over the back of the couch toward the bedroom. 

The double doors that led dramatically to his bed were open wide, and Mandy flicked a look in that direction before she could think about what she was doing. She saw too much naked skin piled on top of Ben’s bed.

“My name’s Spencer!” The body called out from the other room.

“Of course it is,” Ben said under his breath, closing his eyes again.

“You didn’t have to let me in if you had company,” Mandy said, trying to stand up while Ben’s head was still in her lap.

Ben didn’t move, and pushed her back down onto the couch. “One night stands aren’t company,” Ben said.

Mandy heard the squeaking of the mattress that indicated Spencer had gotten out of bed. Footsteps passed behind her and into the bathroom where the shower started to run.

“At least you had fun?” Mandy asked, once the shower masked their conversation.

“Not really,” he sighed, “He’s a bottom and I wasn’t really in the mood to top. But beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Ben, we’ve talked about this; Too much information,” she said.

“Whatever,” Ben said. “Speaking of too much information is Nick, like, a five inch guy, or an eight inch guy? See, I’m leaning toward four or five, only because he’s always being so macho; Gotta be making up for something right? But then again, with his build and stature, he could be-”

Mandy cut him off. “This is more of that too much information stuff.”

“Now who’s evading questions,” Ben said with a smirk.

“Well next time we’re getting it on I’ll pull out a ruler,” she snarked.

“You also didn’t admit that I’m right,” Ben said, “you totally got some today.”

Mandy rolled her eyes up in her head and took a swig of coffee. She was already tired of dealing with him. But it was Christmas. 

“Yes, Ben, I got laid this morning,” Mandy said, knowing he wouldn’t drop it until she answered.

“I knew it,” he said, the sad smile returned to his face. “So what are you doing here? Isn’t this normally your bedtime? Why aren’t you resting comfortably in the arms of your white Texas knight?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” she said. “Wanted to come by and chat.”

“Seems like you’re always up for a good chat on Christmas,” Ben said.

“You’re family,” she said. “Christmas is a day for family.”

“Not a day for tall, dark and handsome boyfriends?” He asked.

“Why do you always bring it back to Nick?” She asked. “He’s not my whole life.”

“Good,” he snapped.

“Good? What is that supposed to-” She stopped herself before she got really grumpy. “It’s Christmas. I’m not fighting with you on Christmas.”

“I feel like that’s a challenge.” He sat up enough that he could gulp from his drink before laying back down.

The bathroom door opened, and Mandy instinctually turned toward the noise, finding herself face to face with the most intimate part of a naked Spencer. There was a very large sparkly piercing in a very uncomfortable looking place and she turned her gaze back to the blank screen of the dormant TV and took a large sip of her coffee.

Once he was back in the bedroom retrieving his clothing she leaned down next to Ben’s face and whispered. “How can that be comfortable?”

“What?” Ben asked.

“That piercing he’s got, you know where,” she said.

“Oh,” Ben’s eyes opened wide and a thoughtful look creased his eyebrows. “That explains more than a few things. Now I’m really mad he’s a bottom.”

Mandy giggled.

“Alright Charlie, I’m out,” Spencer said over her shoulder.

“Close the door on the way out!” Ben called, waving goodbye over the back of the couch. He didn’t even sit up.

“Thanks for the good time eh?” Spencer said on his way to the door. “Gimme a call if you wanna share again in the future.”

Ben didn’t even reply, just let the random guy walk out the door without even a goodbye.

“Charlie?” Mandy asked once he was gone.

“Sometimes it’s fun to be someone else,” Ben said.

Silence descended, and Mandy turned on the TV. It’s A Wonderful Life flickered at them in black and white. Jimmy Stewart’s voice had always grated on her, but she left it on for noise to fill the space.

“One day you’re gonna have something better to do on Christmas Day,” Ben said, like it was an inevitable fact that he never wanted to deal with.

Mandy smiled down at him and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re crazy Bennie,” she said. “Christmas is about family, right? You’re stuck with me.”

Ben sat up, turned to face her and leaned his shoulder heavily against the back of the couch. “I’m serious Mandy,” he said. “I’m not your problem.”

“Sure you are Bennie,” she said, attempting a smile but it felt like a failure.

“No doubt you’ll end up married to that handsome boyfriend of yours, you’ll get some little kiddies to run around the place and you’ll forget all about old Bennie while he drinks himself to death in his shitty little apartment,” he plowed on, not allowing her to interrupt. “Each Christmas will get lonelier and lonelier as my looks fade and I can’t even find an easy fuck any more. And I’ll pass out in the bathtub listening to Christmas music and drown.” He laughed, like it was funny, before he tossed back the rest of the drink in his hand.

The remark about marrying Nick and having kids stung and she hung her head while he finished the rest of his sad prediction.

“Maybe you’ll even get to work some of the evidence,” Ben said as he pushed himself up from the couch and wobbled to the kitchen, probably to make another drink.

“Marry Nick and have a buncha kids huh?” Mandy called out to him, once she recovered over the lump in her throat.

Ben looked at her across the kitchen countertop, a look of shame crossing his face as he poured more booze over his melting ice. “Shit Mandy, I’m sorry,” he said. “Have you even told him about all that yet?”

Her coffee cup was suddenly very interesting and she picked at the plastic on the lid. “We’ve been dating all of three months, what do you think?”

“Well if you guys are in a serious relationship don’t you think he deserves to know you can’t have kids?” Ben asked, the shame gone from his voice and face.

“You know what Ben? It’s none of your fucking business,” she spat. Sensitive subject, and he knew it.

“You’re right,” Ben said. “I’m not your family. We’re not fucking blood! It’s not my place to critique your shitty life decisions so why don’t you just get the fuck out of my house?”

“Maybe I will,” she said, standing up.

“Good,” Ben replied. “I don’t want you here. Go home and lie to your boyfriend until it ends badly. The way it always does!”

The coffee flew across the room before she’d even thought about throwing it. Milk and espresso exploded across the kitchen. Ben didn’t even flinch.

As she stormed from the room, passing by the small tree on the counter she noticed that the small drifts of fake snow were roughly pushed into long little piles and there was a razor blade tossed casually aside under the tree.

Great. Now he was doing coke too.

Mandy couldn’t find it in herself to care, slammed his door behind her, walked past the elevator, and ran down every flight of stairs and out into the warm afternoon.

 

 

Nick woke up to an empty bed. Stretching his arms up overhead, he pushed against the headboard before rolling onto his back and wrapping himself up in the fluffy duvet. He wasn’t surprised to find Mandy gone. Whenever they slept together they were always damn near right on top of each other; Always touching. He hadn’t felt her next to him when he woke up, so he assumed she was already up and showering or making coffee.

“Mandy?” He called up as he untangled his legs from the sheets and set his feet to the floor. The clock read 7:00 PM. He stumbled to his feet, a large yawn breaking free. “Sweet pea?” He called out again into the quiet hallway as he made his way to the bathroom. Probably out in the backyard waiting for him to come out and have coffee with her before work, though he didn’t smell any coffee.

Since he was still covered in sticky bodily fluids, he opted to have a shower before he continued his search for her.

Fresh and clean, Nick was threading his belt through the loops on his jeans as he walked into the living room. “Hey babe, you wanna get food before work?” He asked the room, but heard only his own words echoed back to him.

The coffee maker was still tucked away, cold, underneath the kitchen cabinets.

The backyard was empty too. No Mandy.

There were no texts on his phone, no voicemails or missed calls.

Maybe she’d gone out to pick up food. He started the coffee before he called her.

The phone rang and rang, but no answer. When it rang through the voicemail he hung up and tried again. No answer.

That’s when he started to worry. It was unlike her to not leave him any indication where she’d gone.

Where’d you go? He texted.

While the coffee brewed, he continually checked the phone just in case he missed a notification, but nothing came in. He poured the coffee into a travel cup and was just headed for the door to start searching for her when his phone dinged. He almost dropped the cup in his haste to check it.

My place. Needed change of clothes, her reply read.

On my way, Nick texted back.

They’d been sharing beds long enough that he knew she had a few changes of clothes at his place. Something was wrong.

It’s ok. See you at work, she texted back.

Nick was torn. She was asking for privacy. But whatever was going on was a big deal, and he wanted to be there for her. He wanted her to know that she never had to go through anything alone.

Determined to help, he went out to his truck and was just about to put the key in the ignition when he sat back and started to overthink the whole thing again. The last thing he wanted was to push her away by being too controlling.

Why did everything always have to be so complicated? It was Christmas. It was supposed to be a happy time.

Nick dialled Warrick’s number and waited for him to pickup.

“Nicky?” Warrick’s voice was gravelly with sleep.

“Rick man, sorry to wake you up, I need some advice,” Nick replied.

“S’all good man,” Warrick replied. Nick heard the creaking of a mattress and then a door closing. “‘Bout time for me to get up anyway. What’s goin’ on?”

Nick ran down the situation for Warrick, swearing him to secrecy.

“Nicky, what the hell are you doin’?” Warrick asked.

“I know, it’s none of my business-”

“It’s all your business man,” Warrick scolded him. “Get your ass over to that girl’s house. Sometimes you use your head too much.”

“Thanks man,” Nick said, starting the SUV.

“Hey Nicky?” Warrick caught him just before he hung up.

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas.”

“You too bro.”

He dropped the phone onto the passenger seat and pulled out of his driveway a bit too quickly.

 

 

It was getting dark, and the lights in her house were out. He hoped she actually was at home and hadn’t lied to him.

He used their knock like he always did before he opened the door with his key.

The hall was dark. He closed the door behind him and didn’t turn the light on. If she’d left them off she probably had a good reason.

“Mandy? Baby?” He called out into the house.

No answer.

He felt like he was walking through a crime scene, waiting to find the body. He shook that thought from his head and walked carefully through the house.

“Sweet pea?” He called out again.

No answer.

The living room was dark, but he could see it was empty. He checked the rest of the rooms, his heart plummeting a little further into his stomach with every empty room he entered.

He found her in the backyard, sitting on her heels in the middle of the grass.

“Mandy? Baby?” He asked tentatively as he made his way over to her.

As he approached he saw, just beyond her, a heap of metal that used to be a lawn chair and a shovel laying just out of her reach. It was the chair he’d started breaking the night he’d been pissed at Ben. Somebody had finished the task for him.

Nick knelt next to her on the grass and put his hands on her shoulders, one arm wrapping around her back. She was so cold.

His touch seemed to wake her up from whatever trance she’d been in, and she turned her head sharp and quick to look at him, seemingly surprised to find him there.

“Nick?” She asked, squinting through the dark.

“You’re freezing sweet pea,” he said, removing his hands to slip his jacket off and throw it over her shoulders.

“I’m fine,” she said, trying to shrug away from his gentlemanly offer.

Nick persisted and finally she was tucked into the warm leather.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, looking away from him. “I told you I’d see you at work.”

“I was worried about you,” Nick said. “For good reason apparently. You’re sittin’ out here tryin’ to catch pneumonia.”

“I’m fine,” Mandy’s voice was hard. “You don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

Nick moved around to kneel in front of her and leaned over to look up into her face. “I know you can baby, but you don’t have to.”

Her face was cold and angry. Somebody had hurt her, or pissed her off, or both. It was the same look he’d seen on her face that night she’d punched the guy in the bar.

“Baby?” She snarled. “Would you quit with the cutsey names already? I’m not some little fucking bimbo you can sweet talk into bed.” Her face immediately scrunched up full of regret, biting her tongue way too late, and she turned her face away from him.

Nick was hurt, but he knew she didn’t mean it. He’d known enough people that pushed against the people they loved when they were hurt or angry. Warrick was one of those people. When he was in trouble or hurting he lashed out against the people he cared about.

“Mandy,” he said sternly, putting his hands to either side of her face and turning her back to him. “Nothin’ you can say is gonna make me leave right now. Ok?”

Mandy’s lips, those lips he loved to kiss so much, those lips that were normally plump and smiling and happy, drew into a tight line. In the fading light he could see that her jaw was tight, her teeth clenched together. She wasn’t wearing her glasses, and wouldn’t meet his eye.

He dropped his hands back to her shoulders.

“Talk to me Mandy,” he begged. “What’s goin’ on?”

“I told you, it’s nothing,” she said tersely.  
Nick couldn’t think of anything that could have happened in the hours he’d been asleep. Maybe she’d gotten a call? Maybe it had been their day together, something about it had trigged something?

“I thought we had a good time today,” Nick prompted.

The anger in her face flickered to sadness for just a moment and she looked into his eyes. A flurry of emotions warred for control of her, and Nick didn’t interrupt it, his hands gripping the leather around her shoulders tightly so she could feel that he was there for her.

When she finally spoke her voice was quiet and calm and her body was starting to visibly relax, the tenseness melting into the ground. “You know sometimes I’m with you and it’s like I must be dreaming or something, you know?”

Nick’s mouth twitched a small smile before returning to concern, and he nodded. He knew exactly what she meant. Sometimes when he was at work and he caught a glimpse of her working while he was in the DNA lab or talking to Grissom in the hall, he would wonder if he just went home each night and dreamed about Mandy, or if he actually got to hold her in his arms, kiss her lips, tickle her to get the remote back. At work it seemed surreal.

“And then at some point I have to come back to real life,” she continued. “And real life just sucks sometimes.”

Nick didn’t want to say anything. She was talking, and he wanted her to keep going until she was done. It was what she needed. Something had happened to her, this wasn’t about him, it was about her.

Her face crumpled. “I’m broken Nick, you don’t want me,” she whimpered out. And then she was in control again, and the grief was back below the surface. “Ben was right-”

Nick couldn’t let her finish that thought, and interrupted. “No he wasn’t,” he said. “He’s not right about you. Whatever he said.”

Goddamn Ben. Nick couldn’t have hated the guy anymore if he tried. The broken lawn chair was nothing. If Ben was in front of him, Nick would have put him in the hospital.

Mandy smiled at him again. “You don’t even know what he said,” and there was a little teasing in her voice. There she was, his Mandy, coming back to him.

“I don’t care what he said,” Nick replied. “I look at you, and I know you.” He moved his hands carefully back to her cheeks, holding the hair back from her face.

She looked up at the sky that was totally dark now, and laughed, her eyes glazed with moisture that seemed unwilling to form tears and drop. Almost the happy laughter she always shared with him, it echoed around her yard. It seemed louder than it should have to him.

“He makes me so mad sometimes,” she said. “He’s really good at pissing me off and I just get so mad.”

Nick smiled. “That explains the chair.”

“You broke it first,” she smiled.

That’s when she started to shake under his fingers, little shivers that travelled through his jacket and up into his fingertips.

“I did break it first,” Nick admitted. “You definitely finished it off.” He didn’t point out that both incidents were Ben related.

Mandy sighed like she’d been holding the breath in during their entire conversation, and rested her hands on his thighs.

“You ok Mandy?” He asked, careful not to use his pet names for her yet.

“You bet Tex,” she said.

“Come here,” he requested, pulling her forward. There was little force in that suggestion because he wanted her to choose to do it, not be led or pressured into it.

Mandy leaned forward and slid her hands around his waist. Nick’s arms grasped tight around her shoulders, one hand cradling her head against his chest. 

He had expected her to cry. Expected something in her to break at last and release. But she was too strong for that. Too experienced in dealing with whatever it was Ben was putting her through.

So she didn’t cry, she just spoke into his shirt: “You know, I really hate Christmas.”


	19. Can It Be Over Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceptive Chapter title... this is nowhere NEAR the end of this fic.
> 
> Nick is confronted with a case that brings his kidnapping back to the spotlight. And it's particularly hard for him. He just won't let Mandy help him with it.
> 
> This Chapter contains: all of the angst, barely any fluff, and no smut at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the million years between updates... this is a long one because I didn't want to drag this out to two chapters... and because it was hard to write. It was kind of emotionally draining.

It was a tough one for sure. Warrick had come in with prints from a screwdriver, hoping Mandy could make something of it. And it was a tough one. The voids in the surface of the handle were causing all the trouble, giving her huge gaps in her print.

While she toiled away at it, spinning it this way and that, matching it with other pieces from the other side, someone walked into the lab behind her. She didn’t even look up. She was concentrating. They could wait.

Finally they cleared their throat, and even from just that sound she knew it was Nick.

“What?” She asked, carefully twisting her mouse in the tiniest increments to make her pieces fit together.

“I’ve got some partials. I’m hopin’ you can run them for me right away,” he said.

“You can wish and you can hope all you want cowboy,” Mandy replied, narrowing her eyes at the screen, “but it’s not gonna get you anywhere. I’ve gotta finish this for Grissom first.”

“What’re you doin’ there?” He asked, getting closer, bracing himself on the desk and leaning over her shoulder. It wasn’t a suspicious closeness, he’d always done that. But now that she had a reason to be distracted by his proximity, it was very distracting.

“Prints from a screwdriver handle,” she said as she let go of the mouse and spun in her chair to talk to him. There was no point trying to work on something so delicate when he was hovering. “Lots of big voids, trying to piece it all together and see what I can get.”

That hair. First the moustache, and now the hair. She’d asked him at least twice if he’d lost another bet with Warrick. She’d even asked Warrick. Nope. Nick’s hair was growing out across his forehead, swooshed over to the side to keep it out of his eyes, and he was keeping it that way by choice. He looked like an emo kid, or a Ken doll. She wasn’t sure which comparison was worse.

Nick nodded, drawing her distracted mind away from his hair. “Whatever rush you can put on this,” Nick handed her some latent cards, “I would really appreciate. We’ve got a suspect in custody and I really need to compare them.”

Mandy took the cards and glanced at them. “I can tell you right now that I’m probably not going to be able to get anything from this,” she looked up apologetically. “Definitely not going to be done this morning. What the hell did you even pull these from?”

Nick sighed. “Focus ring of an old video camera,” he said.

“Ok,” she said, “I’ll see what I can do. But I’m going to be on this screwdriver thing for most of the rest of my shift, and if I can get anything from yours they’re going to take some work. Grissom said no overtime, so you won’t see results until tomorrow.”

Nick’s face fell even further, if possible. “Thanks Mandy.”

She wanted to give him a little lift, something to cheer him up. “Honestly, I hope I get something good,” she said ominously, tucking the latent cards into her inbox. “A case breaking result maybe.”

That did it, Nick’s lips curled up into that sweet smile she loved. After last weekend’s football game, she’d won her bet. Going forward, anytime Mandy provided Nick with case breaking information he had to sing Barry Manilow’s Mandy to her. In the lab. In front of anyone who was around. Then, and only then, would she surrender said case breaking information to him. It may have been an inebriated bet, but he said he’d stand by it. Though he probably didn’t think she’d actually take him up on it. Oh, but she would.

“It’s gotta be somethin’ real good,” he said. “Or it doesn’t count.”

“We’ll see what I can get,” she said with a wink.

Nick smiled back at her, but it was a tight smile that was tainted with something. He was stressed. She wanted to know what about, but it wasn’t the right time or place to ask that.

“Got plans after shift?” She asked casually.

Nick lowered his voice the way he did when he was going to say something he didn’t want any of the other techs to hear. “Gonna hit the gym I think,” he said. “Might meet up with Warrick for lunch.”

“Maybe get a haircut?” Mandy ventured hopefully.

Nick smiled at her and ran his hands through his hair self consciously. “I wasn’t plannin’ on it.”

“I’ll let you know if I get any hits on your prints,” she said, turning back to her work.

 

 

Nick walked out of the print lab distracted, and not by Mandy. This whole case was turning him in circles and bringing him right back to where he’d been several months before. Why wouldn’t it just go away?

The lawyer had been killed by her own car in her parking stall at work. Damn near cut in half by the thing. And in her appointment book there had been that name he knew so well: Kelly Gordon. So he’d pulled the girl in for questioning.

Dealing with Kelly Gordon again had forced Nick think about her father. Her father, who had buried Nick under ground in that damn box. And that made Nick want to crumple and hit things, in equal measure. 

Why wouldn’t it just end? This horrible thing that had happened to him, now why couldn’t the universe just let it pass on by?

The batting cages after work seemed like his best best. He’d stand and swing that bat until his arms wouldn’t swing anymore. And after that he’d go home and fall into bed and hope against everything he knew that his exhaustion would send him into a dreamless sleep.

Knowing he was most likely going to have a nightmare, if he slept at all, he didn’t want Mandy around. She’d seen it happen to him a few times, and the look in her eyes got worse every time. It was a look that said: I thought he was over this, I thought we were past it. That look made him feel like a burden. And if there was one thing Nick didn’t ever want to be it was a burden. Especially not to someone he loved.

So he powered through the rest of his day, wrapping up old case files while he waited for results. In addition to the prints from Mandy, he was hoping Hodges would be able to get the analysis from Kelly’s fingernails done so he would have sufficient evidence to hold her. He was so sure that whatever Hodges found would give them the green light to lay charges. 

Without much time left in his shift, Kelly was going to be stuck in lock up for the night until the evidence was processed.  
Just great. Another night to think about this. Something in his gut just told him she was guilty. More than finding out the truth, he just wanted the whole thing to be over with.

 

 

The batting cages were busy, and Nick only got in a half hour of swatting at balls before he’d had to give up his cage to another customer. It was fine. The swing of the bat wasn’t offering the release it normally did. But Nick knew exactly what would.

The PD gym would be buzzing. Nick avoided it. On days when he didn’t want to run into, and talk to other law enforcement personnel, he headed to a smaller gym off the beaten track. It smelled, and the equipment was a bit run down, but it was a boxing gym, so they had everything he needed to let off some steam.

The place was dark, the only windows set high up in the open two story room. Old fluorescent lights buzzed overhead. A few TVs hung here or there, silent sports channels flashing through highlights. The rest of the walls were covered with badly framed portraits of boxing students. A worn out boxing ring took up the centre of the floor, surrounded by random bits of equipment and machines for training, but the ring was the star of the show.

“Hey Nick!” A woman called across the room when he walked in. She was holding a punching bag for a young kid who was going to town on it. 

Eddie had run the place with her dad since she was little, and the Mom and Pop aspect had made the gym all that more appealing to Nick.

He waved in answer, stowed his stuff in a locker and ducked into the showers to change.

When he came out, the kid was packing his stuff up and getting ready to leave. Covered in sweat, Eddie had really put him through his paces.

There was no one else in the whole place. Good. He didn’t need an audience for venting his frustration.

“Place is pretty quiet,” Eddie said, joining him by the lockers. “Need a sparring partner?”

Nick shot her a smile, pulled the wraps from his bag and started wrapping his hands. “Not today Eddie, thanks,” he replied.

Eddie had been a good buddy to him over the years. Naturally he’d been a bit scared of her at first. Spending all day, every day in a boxing gym meant she had shoulders wider than his. Her arms were muscled, her body toned, but firm and stocky. She grew on him quick though, personable and friendly she was easy to talk to. And one hell of a sparring partner.

“Come on,” Eddie begged, sitting next to him on the bench. “I’m dying here. You might not need somebody to spar with, but I sure do.”

Nick pointed at the row of large punching bags. “Just lookin’ for some time with the big guy,” he said.

“Gimme that!” Eddie scolded, pulling his hand toward her. “You’re shit at wrapping.”

Nick’s muscles were buzzing with anxiety and menace. His fingers shook a little, and he hoped that her quick and furious turning of the wraps around his knuckles hid it from her. All he wanted to do was hit something, and hit it hard.

“Good as new,” she said when she released his second hand.

Nick flexed his fingers and pulled them tight into a fist. Perfect. She’d always been so good at that.

“Come on,” Eddie said again. “Gimme three 90 second rounds for a warm up?”

Nick conceded. It would be a good warm up. It wouldn’t do for him to go all out at a bag with no warm up and hurt himself.

Her hands wrapped, gloves and helmets on, they stepped into the ring together. Eddie started the first timer and they touched gloves. Dancing around each other, they threw taunting jabs, neither of them making contact.

“Watch your shoulder,” Eddie scolded. “Your letting it drop.” Ever the coach.

Nick was annoyed already. He hadn’t come in for a lesson. He just wanted to get violent without the consequences.

First contact came just before the timer buzzed the end of their first round. Eddie caught his arm with a hook, her hand back up to guard before he’d even felt the punch.

“Seem a little distracted,” Eddie said as she leaned back in the corner.

“No,” Nick said simply.

Eddie looked sceptical, but shrugged. “Alright, let’s go again.”

This time they traded several blows. Nick always pulled his punches against Eddie, though he knew he didn’t have to. She was tough and could take care of herself. But it was against his nature to hit a woman, so he found it really hard to do.

The second buzzer went, and he bounced around the ring on his toes to keep his blood flowing during the short break.

“You ain’t been ‘round so much the last few months,” Eddie said. “When you were on leave you came in every few days, and then almost nothin’ for the last little while.”

“You miss me?” Nick asked. It wasn’t flirtatious, it was genuine, even accompanied by a smile.

“A’course,” she said. “You two timing us somewhere else?”

“Yeah,” Nick said, suddenly feeling awkward, but excited; Finally someone he could talk to about Mandy. Why hadn’t he thought of it before? “I’ve got a girl.”

“Oooo,” Eddie smiled. “A girl? Since you stopped coming in?”

Nick nodded.

“A couple months now, that’s gotta be some kinda record for you,” she said. There wasn’t any malice in it, maybe a little teasing, but she knew him well enough to get away with it. And she knew his dating history well enough to be accurate.

“She’s a keeper,” Nick said.

Eddie hit the buzzer for the third round and they tapped gloves. As soon as their gloves met, the smile faded from her face and her grey eyes grew cold. Her relentless punches landed, blow after blow against his arms, ribs, shoulders. He could tell she was still holding herself back. Eddie could hit harder than that. He’d felt it before. 

But she was so damn fast he just couldn’t keep up. He danced away from her, danced toward. Tried to use his reach to stay out of her range, but that didn’t work either. A few of his punches landed, but they were feeble attempts.

Finally the buzzer rang for the third time and Nick was completely out of breath. There was no longer 90 seconds than being in the ring with Eddie.

As soon as the timer rang her face reverted to jovial. “So tell me about this girl you got,” she said, ripping her gloves off and ducking out of the ring. “A keeper huh?”

Nick felt himself blush, and blamed it on the exertion from that long 90 seconds. He jumped down and headed for the punching bags.

How to tell her that he didn’t want company? Left to her own devices, Eddie would stand there with him all day, talking and giving him advice on his form. He didn’t care about his form and he didn’t want to talk.

“How about, when I’m done, I’ll pick us up some lunch and we’ll talk about her?” Nick offered, hoping it was clear enough that he wanted to be alone.

“Done deal,” she said. “You need me I’ll be up front working on the books.”

Nick sighed heavily as soon as she was gone. He’d been wearing people’s expectations all day, and he just wanted to drop the front and be what he wanted to be instead of what he thought everyone wanted him to be.

Once he was sure she was actually back at the front desk, so she wouldn’t see his bad form, he brought his hands up and attacked the bag.

Each punch was full power. As he jabbed, each and every muscle tensed and pushed forward with everything he had. Then switch to the right cross and his body twisted and was pure adrenaline and strength.

The events of his day flashed in front of his eyes with each punch. Talking to Kelly Gordon. That distant bitter look in her eyes when she sat across from him. The sneer on her lips. Right hook, the bag’s jolting resistance felt all the way to his shoulder. Hearing Kelly’s voice on that tape. Left jab, right hook. The panic attack he’d barely escaped in the break room after interrogation. Jab, jab, cross, the bag swinging away from him with the force of the blows. The memory of that box in the ground coming back vivid and clear again when he’d thought he’d begun to forget. Jab, cross, jab, cross, jab cross, until he felt like his arms were going to fall off.

 

 

Eddie stuffed the sandwich into her mouth and spoke through her food. “I’m not gonna tell you that your form was off,” she swallowed, “because you already know that. I am going to say that it would be nice if you came in here to work out, not just when you’re angry and want to hit something.”

Nick nodded and focused on his own sandwich. “I’ve been busy,” he said.

“Yeah, yeah, with this girl that I know nothing about,” Eddie took another too-big bite. “Tell me about her.”

The place was still dead, and Nick hoped it wasn’t an omen for the future. January was usually the time when everybody joined gyms and started working out again, at least long enough to shed the Christmas guilt. It didn’t seem like a good sign that there was no one around.

“Mandy,” Nick said. “I met her at work. It’s complicated. We’ve worked together a few years, and after what happened to me last year…”

Eddie knew all about what happened. During his leave of absence he’d come to the gym almost every day to work out and try to forget. Eddie had known from the get go that something was off, and they’d talked a lot during that month. It was nice to have someone to confide in that wasn’t directly involved in the whole thing. And though Eddie was compassionate, she was honest too, and she’d always pushed him every day to push himself further.

Nick continued. “I didn’t want to waste anymore time.”

“Cute,” Eddie offered. “What’s she like?”

“She’s…” Nick trailed off. He finally had somebody to talk to Mandy about and he almost didn’t want to. It was macho and possessive, but she belonged to him, and he wanted to keep it that way. At the same time he wanted to find a rooftop and tell the world he loved her. Mostly, he just wasn’t sure exactly how to describe Mandy. “…Interesting.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow and stuffed more food into her mouth, as though she’d been starving.

“She’s not like any girl I’ve ever dated before,” he confessed. “We watch sports together, but then she plays video games and listens to punk music, which I’ll just never understand. And she’s always talking. It gets her into trouble more times than I could tell you.”

“Sounds like my kinda gal,” Eddie smiled at him.

“What about you?” Nick asked. “Any special guys?”

Eddie shook her head. “You know what’s it like. Can’t seem to find good help for what I can pay these days. So I’m always here.” There wasn’t any sadness or regret in her voice.

“Hey, why don’t you come over for the football game on Sunday?” Nick asked. “Mandy’s a Seahawks fan, so we’re sorta makin’ a big deal of it.”

“We’ll see,” Eddie smiled. “I’ll let you know.”

 

 

Mandy pulled out her newest coding project and set to work. Honestly, she didn’t mind so much the days that Nick opted to spend on his own. As they settled into more familiar territory with each other, those days were becoming more and more frequent.

The last coding contract she’d gotten had been a collaboration with another subcontractor in Nebraska. The other contractor had made the big break first, and the project had been recalled. Mandy definitely blamed Nick for that. She’d been so distracted that she’d barely been doing any work on the damn thing.

But now that these free days were coming along more and more often she was able to dig back into her spare time work. It also helped that she wasn’t constantly distracted by her sex drive. That had calmed down a bit too. Just a bit, but enough that she could concentrate easier most of the time.

Some days when Nick told her that he had plans outside of her, she got a little morose, even jealous. But when he’d stopped by the print lab earlier and told her what his plans were she was more worried than anything else. Usually he got excited about plans. Spending time with Warrick, even going to gym, there was a positive upbeat happiness that seemed to float around the guy most of the time. But not that morning. Lunch with Warrick had sounded like a death sentence.

Word was spreading around the lab about Kelly Gordon’s mysterious involvement in Nick and Catherine’s murder investigation. Nick had gotten the girl pulled off a bus and brought all the way back to the city. And then he’d sat with her in interrogation for god knows how long. All of that was probably doing a number on the guy’s head. Drawing his mind back to being buried alive.

With her worry for Nick racing through her brain, it was almost impossible to concentrate on the project she’d laid out in front of her. Should she call him? What was he going through? What was he thinking? Could she help?

Ignoring the tugging in her gut, she focused instead on numbers and letters and ciphers and clues.

 

 

Nick had barely been able to drive home his body ached so badly. Arms and shoulders were tightening up, legs wobbly from the number of miles he’d run on the treadmill. Sitting down with Eddie had been a bad idea; Letting his muscles all stiffen up.

It had been fun catching up though, and he’d come to the conclusion after talking about her for just a few minutes, that Mandy made everything better. While he’d been telling Eddie about her, his mind had wandered away from the bad things that had brought him to the gym in the first place.

He wanted to call her. Tell her to come over. At the same time he didn’t. His body was too sore for anything but sleep, and he hated leaning on her when he was in a bad place. That wasn’t what she was for. She wasn’t a crutch. And he wanted to keep his anger from her. That anger that sometimes simmered just under the surface, like the night he’d broken her lawn chair. More than anything he wanted to crumple that anger into a tiny ball he could forget about so she’d never have to see it.

As much as she claimed it had been fun, he also regretted the sex they’d had in her kitchen that night. Too much of that anger had gone into it. It had been rough and violent and he felt guilty almost immediately after. She said she’d enjoyed it, but that was a place he definitely never wanted his anger to break through ever again.

So he went home. Alone.

The shower steamed up the bathroom, the water running so hot he almost couldn’t stand the touch of it on his skin. But it felt so good on his muscles. He’d be sore when he woke up, but it had been worth it. Not only had he felt the anger subside, but it would help him sleep deep and hopefully avoid the nightmares.

The moment his mind was drawn to the nightmares the shower felt too small. He looked around the little glass enclosure of the ensuite and all he saw was the green light in that plexiglass box. He almost fell out of the door he scrambled so quickly.

Standing wet and naked in his bedroom he was suddenly too afraid to go back into the bathroom and get his towel. Instead he retreated to the bed and was suddenly so grateful to Mandy for insisting on the King size. He crawled in under the sheets, sticky with moisture and stretched his hands to either side unable to reach the edges. The ceiling overhead was high and felt a million miles away, and he breathed deep and forgot that pressing feeling of earth overhead as he drifted off to sleep.

 

 

The dreams came anyway. Different this time, but still on theme.

Nick stood in a wide open space. The sky overhead was dark and full of stars, not like in the city, more like when he went out to the lookout and laid on the roof of his truck. Bare earth stretched away from him in all directions. 

Right in front of him a white PVC pipe poked up out of the ground: A snorkel in a sea of dirt. 

A whirring noise filled the air, and then stopped suddenly.

Dull thumping sounds echoed up from the pipe. And a voice that sounded like someone speaking in another room. Warrick’s voice.

Nick began to scramble at the earth, digging his fingers in and pulling it back handful by handful. He looked around for a shovel, or anything else to help him dig. There was nothing. Just that plain flat earth stretching away in all directions until it met the starry sky.

“I’m got you Rick!” Nick called out desperately. “I got you man! Warrick! Warrick!”

He made little progress with only hands to work with, and Warrick’s voice was fading. The fan had stopped running altogether, the fan that was feeding him fresh air, and he’d been yelling. Who knew how much air that little box could hold?

“I’m gonna get you outta there!” Nick yelled. “Just hang on!”

It felt like he’d been digging for hours, and Warrick’s voice had stopped a long time ago. Nick’s finger tips were bloody where his nails were pulling away from his flesh, but he couldn’t stop clawing at the ground. Tears cut paths through the dirt on his cheeks.

Finally, when he reached the box, and his bloodied fingers struck plexiglass, he wiped away the earth.

Warrick’s dead face stared up at him, eyes glazed, lips purple. The interior of the box was covered with droplets of moisture. He’d suffocated.

 

 

Nick startled awake. He would have rolled out of bed, if the bed wasn’t so huge. He felt like he wanted to fight something. Like he could hit the helplessness that welled inside him.

Once his brain fully emerged from sleep and he wasn’t confused anymore by his half-waking brain, he lay back into the pillows again, staring up at the ceiling.

A glance at the clock told him that his sleep was ruined. 6 PM meant he only had a few hours left to rest, and he felt like he hadn’t slept at all. 

He desperately wanted to call Mandy. To hear her voice. It would calm him. But she’d be asleep, and there was no reason both of them needed to be awake.

Thinking about her was enough, and he closed his eyes and focused on her smile, the mischievous twinkle in her eyes, the curves of her body when she slept on her side. It was almost enough to help him imagine her laying across from him in bed. Almost.

 

 

Mandy was surprised to find Nick already at the lab when she got in.

He was concentrating on his computer screen and didn’t hear her come up behind him.

“Do you ever sleep?” She asked loudly.

Nick jumped in his seat, and quickly clicked away from the screen he’d been on. Interesting.

“Mandy! You scared the life outta me!” He jumped right out of his chair, and his body language told her that he’d almost reached out for her instinctively, but stopped himself just in time. A guilty look lit his eyes, and he glanced around to make sure they were alone.

“Seriously though dude,” she said, “did you just sit here all day?”

“As a matter of fact,” he said, sitting back in the chair. “I couldn’t sleep and came in a little early to do some research.”

Bullshit. She could smell it. A little early, sounded to her like a few hours early. Some research, sounded to her like using lab time to look at something he shouldn’t. Or something he just felt guilty about looking at.

If he wanted to lie to her, then he was free to do so. Hiding something meant that he wasn’t ready to share and she wasn’t going to push him. Not with the garbage he’d had to deal with the day before; Facing the whole debacle of his premature burial again.

“Alright,” she said cheerily. And then her mouth did that thing, where it didn’t listen to her brain and spewed words everywhere. “Whenever you’re ready to talk about whatever super secret thing you were looking at there, let me know.” Trying not to focus too much on regretting something she couldn’t take back, she smiled and wandered to the print lab.

Nick didn’t follow, and the regret caught up with her. Stupid mouth. She really needed to work on that.

 

 

Mandy was right. He really needed to tell her what was going on his head. The more he tried to hide it, the further he was going to push her away from him. But he needed more time. Time and distance from it before he could talk about it without spilling his baggage everywhere. Once they finished the case he’d give it a day or two and then sit down and tell her all about what he was thinking and feeling and going through. Until then it was his burden to bear. Alone.

So he didn’t follow her to the print lab. And he didn’t seek her out when she went to the break room for coffee. He sat at the computer he was on, looking over old reports from his kidnapping and trying to figure out what piece was missing. He could just feel that it was all related to this new case.

He’d been staring at the damn file for so long that he couldn’t see straight anymore. And now that Mandy was in, that meant everybody else was too. He went looking for Hodges.

 

 

Half an hour later, after a history lesson on airbag talc, Nick escaped Hodges and the trace lab and went to find Catherine.

“Hey Catherine,” he found her sifting through evidence on the light table. “I just got back trace on Kelly Gordon’s fingernails. I was lookin’ for airbag dust, but all Hodges found was air.”

Catherine sighed and passed him a sheet of paper. It had Mandy’s signature at the bottom.

“Well, join the club,” she huffed. “No usable prints on the parking garage camera either.”

For the first time while they were at the lab Nick was distracted by Mandy because of work. She knew he was working the case. He’d brought her the damn latent cards. Why hadn’t she brought the evidence, or lack thereof, to him? Why had she brought it to Catherine? They didn’t even get along.

Maybe he really had given her the cold shoulder. But that was for the best until the case blew over. Then he’d explain everything. Until everything was wrapped up, he’d just have to make a point of letting her dismissiveness roll off him.

“Ok, I’ll have Sofia release her from holding,” Nick said distantly as he dropped the paper with Mandy’s name at the bottom onto the table.

 

 

Nick sat back down at his computer and pulled up the file for the current case again. He looked over each report and piece of evidence in case he’d missed something, or Catherine had forgotten to tell him anything. Omission seemed to be a common theme around Nick. There was nothing new.

One click, and a link in the file took him to related cases. There it was. The file on his kidnapping again. He’d spent hours rereading all the reports. But something suddenly struck his attention. The modified date on the file was recent. More recent than anything collected on scene. When he clicked it, a popup filled the screen, informing him that new evidence had been logged.

He opened the evidence. And there it was. At the bottom left of the screen, a small audio file that looked innocent enough: Audio waves spiking up and down like an erratic heartbeat.

Hesitantly, Nick opened it.

The audio started to play, and he thought his chest was going to cave in.

It was the recording from the tape that he’d been buried with. The tape that he’d listened to when he woke up staring at hard pressed dirt weighing down on top of him. The tape that told him he was going to die.

Nick let it play out. It wasn’t a long recording. But each word brought back memories of the time he spent in that box. The green glow. The way the plexiglass felt under his hammering fists. The burning grief in his eyes and the back of his throat when he’d concluded that the tape was right, that he was going to die.

Completely distracted by the awful memories, he almost missed the sounds at the end of the track. But after that last line: “your gonna die here” there were some noises, voices, that tugged at him just out of his range of hearing. He replayed those last few seconds and there was something there for sure. Something familiar. Something nagging at him. Obviously it had nagged at someone else too, or they wouldn’t have taken the time to upload the track for analysis. Nick looked up to see who had logged the evidence in: Grissom.

 

 

Mandy had been keeping an eye on Nick all day. From a distance. She was worried about him. There were a few times she wanted to approach him, but he’d been pretty clear with her at the beginning of shift that he wanted to be left alone, so she’d left him alone. To the point that when she’d had results, or lack thereof, she’d brought them to Catherine instead.

Mandy was sifting through prints, working on some dayshift backlog, but every few minutes she took a break to scan for Nick. Sometimes he was restlessly wandering the halls, sometimes sitting in an evidence room staring down a computer screen. It felt weird to be watching him from a distance, feeling helpless, but not wanting to interfere.

No doubt the case he was working on was doing a number on his head. Dredging up all the feelings and emotions from his kidnapping. It didn’t take a detective to figure out that he’d probably come into work early because he couldn’t sleep. Probably nightmares. It made her hurt. She wanted to chase him down in the hall and pull him into a hug. She wished she’d been next to him in bed when he woke up shouting so she could comfort him and ease the fear away.

Instead she stalked him from a distance, looking for an indication that he might be at a breaking point, that he might need her. But his face was cold and distracted each time she snuck a look.

A lucky break found her heading for a coffee refill as he came down the hall.

“Hey Nick,” she said, trying not to be too cheerful.

“Hey Mandy,” he said on his way by. She could have sworn there was anger in his face. At her? She hoped not, she hadn’t been that catty with him.

“We still on for Sunday?” She said loudly down the hall.

Nick stopped in his tracks, and turned. She’d hoped to shock some kind of emotion onto his face other than anger and frustration, but she hadn’t succeeded.

“Sunday?” He asked, frowning.

“The game,” she clarified. “Did you talk to Warrick? Is he gonna be able to make it?”

“Oh right, the big game,” he said, forcing a smile. “Yeah, Warrick’s in.” Without another word he headed toward the video lab.

Tough nut to crack that one. He was definitely headed in a bad direction. She vowed to try and catch him at the end of shift before he left.

 

 

Nick walked away from Mandy even more frustrated than he had been by Grissom and the evidence. What was the matter with that girl? Weren’t they trying to keep things a secret?

“Hey Archie,” Nick said as he turned into the video lab.

“Hey, I did my best to enhance the parking garage footage, but I just can’t get an image of the killer’s face,” Archie said as he brought up the video on the screen. Too blurry, too dark.

“If you got a couple minutes, I need a voice comparison,” Nick said.

“Yeah, what d’ya got?”

“Kelly Gordon’s voice on tape. I want to see if it’s the other voice on the Walter Gordon audio file,” Nick dropped the info like a trap. Grissom could have uploaded the file easily enough, but why would he do that if he wasn’t going to analyze it? And if he was going to have it analyzed, Archie was the best guy for the job.

“Grissom told you,” Archie said, his eyes widening in surprise.

“No, but he obviously told you,” Nick’s anger was bubbling to the surface.

Archie ducked his head, a look of shame sinking his features. Good. “Nick, uh-”

“You know what? Forget about it,” Nick tried to tamp down the rage filling his chest. Anger wasn’t going to do him any good here. This wasn’t the type of situation where fists would solve any problem. When had he become the guy who ever thought they could? “If this girl’s involved, that means she’s capable of murder. It’s all cued up for you. Her voice is first.”

Nick left the tape with Archie and walked out of the lab. There was something wrong with him. Something in his blood that made it boil and surge.

He walked purposefully through the labs, and almost ran into Mandy on her way back from grabbing another coffee. Seemed she was walking the halls a little more than normal, maybe running into him on purpose?

“Nick, are you-”

He didn’t let her finish but kept right on going. If he stopped now he was going to blow up, explode. And the last thing he wanted to do was let that out anywhere near Mandy. This was a part of him that he never wanted her to see if he could avoid it. Breaking the chair at her place had been the last he would expose her to.

So instead of stopping to talk to her, he walked fast toward the garage. It was empty. He slammed the door behind him, slid the lock home, and pounded his fists against the cinderblock wall. It reminded him too much of the way he’d hammered against the lid of that plexiglass coffin, which only made him hit harder.

Nick stopped himself short of hurting himself or breaking his skin. He wanted to sink to the floor and cry or scream or both. Instead he rolled his shoulders back, closed his eyes and took a deep uneven breath. He opened his fists and put his palms against the cold wall.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood at that wall trying to keep his blood from surging. Each time he thought he had himself under control, flashbacks would rocket through his brain and make his muscles twitch.

His cell beeped at him. It was Archie: Voice analysis done.

 

 

Mandy watched Nick walk down to the garage and slam the door behind him. She debated going after him. But he’d brushed right past her with barely a look in her direction, so he obviously wanted to be alone.

But then twenty minutes passed and he didn’t come out.

Mandy tried to look nonchalant as she walked down toward the garage. With a casual quick flick of her wrist she tried the door, but found it locked. What to do? Wait outside the door and ambush him? That seemed like a bad idea. If there was one thing she’d learned from growing up in South Dakota it was not to corner a pissed off rattlesnake and expect good results.

A thumping sound came from inside the room, and all she wanted to do was bang on the door and make him open it. Or tear it off the hinges and give him a hug. The second one was totally impossible, but a girl can dream. 

Mandy put her hand to the wall, like he could feel him right through the cinderblocks and waited. But he still didn’t come out.

So she walked back down the hall and made her way to Grissom’s office.

The bossman sat behind his desk, glasses perched on his nose, going through paperwork. How come he never used a computer for anything? He definitely seemed to be a man stuck in another age.

She stood waiting for a minute before clearing her throat.

Grissom looked up, removed his glasses and set them aside. “Mandy? What can I do for you?”

Mandy opened her mouth to start talking and then realized that her voice carried. She closed the door to the office and sat down across from Grissom.

“I think this case is hitting Nick pretty hard,” she said.

“Which case?”

“All the stuff with Kelly Gordon and the lawyer,” Mandy answered.

Grissom narrowed his eyes the way he did when he wasn’t sure exactly what someone was talking about. “Kelly Gordon?” He asked, clueless, shaking his head back and forth, his question trailing off.

“Nick brought Kelly Gordon in for involvement with the Sylvia Mullins case. The lawyer that got cut in half by her own car,” Mandy blurted out. “He thinks Kelly Gordon might be related somehow.”

Grissom stared down at the paperwork in front of him, his thinking face on.

“You know… involved, like a suspect?” Mandy said. God she hated silence and her stupid brain was always looking to fill it, but never seemed to have much good to put there.

“Yeah Mandy,” Grissom smiled, “I got it. Thanks.”

It was a dismissal.

She trotted for the door, but he stopped her before she opened it.

“Mandy?”

“Yup?” She asked, trying to sound chipper. It would give too much away if she was upset about Nick’s involvement in the case.

“You said it’s hitting him hard?” Grissom asked. “In what way?”

Mandy sighed. Here it was. The Oscar worthy performance she’d been training for. She just had to make it real good. So she pretended she was talking about Warrick instead. She liked Warrick, they were friends, and she cared about him. But he didn’t mean as much as Nick for obvious reasons, so she aimed her reactions at Warrick and hoped she wasn’t see through.

“He just hasn’t been his usual chipper self today or yesterday,” Mandy said. She wasn’t going to go full tattle tale and let Grissom know about Nick’s trip to the garage, but she needed a little more than “not his chipper self” if she was going to sell it. “He’s been a bit grumpy, if you know what I mean? Grumpy, leaning toward angry?”

“I think I understand,” Grissom said. “Thanks.”

“No problem bossman,” Mandy said as she left the office, hoping she’d made her point without letting her cards show.

A half hour later she watched through the glass walls as Nick wandered into Grissom’s office and sat down in front of his desk. He seemed to have calmed himself down, but there was still a thrumming tension about him. Mandy resisted the need to walk into the office and knead the muscles in his shoulders until he melted back into the chair the way she’d seen him do dozens of times after work. It was a wonder to her that no one else could see the frustration and pain emanating from his every movement. It flashed at her like a neon sign.

Nick smiled as the meeting ended, and stood up. But that wasn’t Nick’s smile. It wasn’t real, just for show. And she watched him walk out of Grissom’s office, that smile plastered on his face obvious as makeup or a fake moustache; Almost silly in it’s garishness.

Hoping to catch his eye, hoping for a word alone, Mandy kept watching him as he walked down the hall. But before he passed the print lab Catherine called out to him. They stood together, talking over a case file, and Nick’s fake smile faded fast. His jaw clenched and he took the file and turned away from Catherine.

So close to the end of shift, if Nick headed back out on scene, she wouldn’t see him before she left for the day. And she couldn’t wait that long. Couldn’t take the chance that he would choose to be alone again after work. She didn’t want him to have to be alone with everything he was dealing with. Sure she was the worst at dealing with emotion, specifically other people’s emotions, but more than anything she wanted to help him through whatever was going on in his brain.

Mandy sped to the locker room and found Nick pulling his vest out and slinging it around his shoulders. His phone was to his ear.

“-meet you there. It won’t take me ten minutes,” he said, before pausing to listen for a response. “You got it. See you soon Sofia.” He hung up and stashed the phone on his belt clip.

“Hey Nick,” Mandy tried to sound as casual as she could from the doorway. “Got a sec?”

“I really don’t,” he said, and even if she was being fair to him, his tone was unkind.

She steeled her face. “Really, it will just take a sec.”

“That’s a second that I don’t have Mandy.” The way he said her name, it wasn’t the way he usually said it. Not the way he’d said it for the past few months. He said it like they weren’t together. Like they were back to being coworkers that shared a casual friendship. Now who’d earned the Oscar?

She stood stubbornly in the doorway.

“I have to go,” Nick motioned past her.

But she didn’t move.

He lowered his voice and there was a danger in it that wasn’t remotely sexy. “Mandy. I don’t have time for this. Get out of my way.” It was frightening and it made her angry. What a great way to piss her off and make her less likely to move: a threat.

Mandy lowered her voice too. “What’re you gonna do if I don’t, Nick?” She challenged.

For just a second she watched a flicker of unease in his eyes, but then they went cold again. He took her firmly by the shoulders and pushed her out of the doorway so he could slide past. And then he was gone without a look back at her.

Nothing good was going to happen wherever he was headed.

 

 

Nick barely remembered the drive back to the lab.

They hadn’t let him process the scene. After Kelly Gordon had overdosed, Grissom had called him back to the lab. The day shift would handle it. Nick didn’t care. He was sure that he should, but he just didn’t care. He’d seen her death with his own eyes. There was no mystery to solve, nothing to seek out, it was just standard procedure now.

Nick had given his statement to the day shift, and then sat in the locker room. He barely remembered getting there. Everybody else had wrapped up for the day and gone home. He was the only one left.

Nick stared at his locker. What he wouldn’t have given for Warrick to walk in and fill him in on his case. Or Sara to come through bickering with Greg. But it was just the buzz of the day shift going about their routine.

Unsure if he should even drive anywhere, the state his brain was in, Nick stowed his gear and headed out. Before he realized where he’d gone, he was at the batting cages. 

Boxing wouldn’t work. Eddie would talk to him. She knew him well enough that she’d be able to tell that something was off. Because something was off. Nick had watched a girl die.

The life had left Kelly Gordon’s eyes right in front of him. There was a finality in it, and it was bitter. His kidnapping and everything related to it was dead and gone. Poor choice of words, but it was buried. But Nick was accustomed to getting to the scene when the victim was already dead. Watching someone go from a living person to a body wasn’t something he was used to experiencing. Sure, he’d seen people shot and killed in the field. Not often, but more than he would like. But he was never touching their skin, looking into their eyes, when they…

Nick opened the door of his truck and walked with determination to the batting cages. It was a slow day, and he bought an hour of time.

With each swing of the bat he pushed harder than the swing before, hoping that somehow when he cracked that ball he could beat the anger and fear and guilt out of himself.

He never did. The emotions flagged with his energy and stamina, but they never left, only ached.

When his hour was up he trudged back to his truck and drove home. The beautiful home that he’d thought would somehow let him start new. Would take away the past and leave only the future; Open and free. There was no running away from the past, and he sat in the driveway and stared at the house for too long.

The moment he stepped through the door and locked it behind him he leaned against the wall, his head spinning, and slid to the floor. His muscles twitched with exertion and he shook all over, suddenly cold and clammy. With no warning everything he’d been holding back came out with an angry scream followed by a cascade of tears.

All he wanted in the world was to have Mandy there beside him. The way he’d shoved her aside, the coldness he’d shown her all day. What an idiot. He couldn’t bear this alone. And he didn’t have to. She’d tried to be there for him and he had, literally, pushed her out of his way.

Nick pulled his cell from his belt, and didn’t even hesitate as he hit the speed dial that would take him to Mandy’s voice. Even if she was mad and didn’t answer, he hoped that her voicemail greeting would sooth something in him.

“Hey Nick,” she answered, her voice full of sleep, but still cold.

 

 

The line was silent. Mandy sat up in bed and pulled the phone away from her ear to check the caller ID again. Yup: Nick Stokes.

“Nick?” She asked into the line. There was a noise there, faint, and she couldn’t make it out. Breathing maybe?

“Mandy…” The way he said her name ripped into her heart. Anguish and guilt and sorrow and fear all mushed together made up that awful sound.

“I’m coming,” she said as she threw aside the blankets and jumped out of bed, fully awake in an instant. “Are you at home?” A pair of dirty shorts from the floor and one of Nick’s t-shirts from her hamper would do. Who needed socks? Not her. She raced for the front door.

“Yeah,” he replied raggedly.

“I’ll be there in no time Tex,” she tacked on the familiar nickname, hoping it would do something for him until she could get to him.

He hung up, and she tried not to take that as a bad sign. She jumped in her shitty Toyota, unsure if she’d even locked the front door of her house, and drove like a bat out of hell to Nick’s place.

There in record time, she didn’t knock, but used her key to unlock the front door. When she pushed it inward, it hit something solid but squishy, and she closed her eyes for just a minute and prayed to a god she hadn’t ever believed in that Nick was ok. The squishy resistance moved, and the door opened the rest of the way.

The sight in front of her made Mandy’s bottom lip quiver and her eyes burn with tears. But she choked all that back for Nick’s benefit. Today she needed to be strong for him. But she allowed herself those few seconds of sorrow before she stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

Nick was crumpled in a heap by his front door. He was shaking, but his head was bowed toward his knees, so she couldn’t tell if he was crying or in shock. Sweat had soaked through his red button down, and his cell phone lay discarded beside him on the floor. That terrible longish hair that she hated was a tangled mess around his head as though he’d been tearing at it with his hands.

“Nick,” she said as softly as she could. “Are you alright?” She knelt down next to him.

The moment he heard her voice he looked up, and all the anger and violence was gone from his eyes. He was her sweet Nick again. The Nick that was full of love and kindness and only wanted the best for the people around him. As soon as he saw her, fresh tears tracked down his already wet face.

“Mandy,” he choked out before he fell into her arms.

His skin was freezing, and he was shaking to the point that his teeth were chattering.

Some kind of instinct took over, maybe honed from all the lovey dovey movies she’d seen over there years. It certainly wasn’t an instinct she’d gotten from her family. She took him into her arms, held him close and ran her fingers gently through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered against the curve of her neck where he’d buried his face. “I’m so sorry. God I’m so sorry Mandy. I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s ok Nick,” she said in the softest voice she could manage. “It’s ok.” She kept repeating those two sentences over and over again while he gripped so tight around her chest she didn’t know if she’d be able to keep breathing. But she made do.

When his sobbing subsided, she tried to pull back and look into his face, but he clung tightly to her.

“Listen Nick,” she said, still trying to pry him away from her without making him feel unwanted. “You’re frozen through, ok? I think we should get you in the shower, alright? Wouldn’t that just be the best?” She really wasn’t good at this, but that didn’t matter, she just needed to be there.

Nick exhaled heavily into her shoulder and drew in a long shaky breath. His muscles were spasming around her. Again, from the shock or crying, she wasn’t sure.

“Sure,” he agreed hollowly.

She tried to back away again, and he fisted his hands in the t-shirt she wore.

“Ok big fella,” she said, “let’s go together.”

Their coordination was sloppy as they rose to their feet as one. Like being in the worst three legged race of all time. Nick released the grip of one of his hands, but kept the other in place, his arm around her back. His face was red and blotchy from crying, and he wouldn’t meet her eyes. Just looked down like he had something to feel bad about.

Mandy didn’t want to push him, so she didn’t try to meet his gaze and they walked arm in arm to his ensuite. She let the room steam up before she peeled the sweat soaked clothes from him and guided him toward the little glass cubicle full of hot water and steam.

Nick stood at the edge of the tiled lip and finally met her eyes. She could read the shame there; Right at the surface, waiting for her. He was afraid he’d disappointed her. And he was afraid of the way he’d treated her. She smiled at him, and she knew it was tainted with sadness, but she tried to make it as sunny as she could.

Without a word, no request from either side, she undressed and followed him into the shower.

The hot water heater was bottomless, and Mandy couldn’t have said how long they spent in the soothing heat, warming Nick back up to a normal temperature and washing the salty sweat and tears from his body. She planted kisses on his skin so he would know he was still loved. She kissed his hands, his back, the scar on his right arm, his forehead. While he was turned toward the shower head she even let a few tears fall and silently pretended they were cast off from the spray.

Eventually they retreated from the hot water, dried off and crawled into Nick’s bed in only their skin. Mandy pulled him close and they tangled together the way they did whenever they slept in the same bed.

“I know I’ve got a lot of explainin’ to do-” Nick’s voice was hoarse from… everything.

Mandy cut him off. “Not today,” she said, feeling so tired suddenly that all she wanted in the world was to sleep for a week. “Let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. Again.

Mandy looked into his face, and brushed the long hair out of his eyes, the way he always did to her. “I know,” she replied, “you’ve only said it, like a zillion times.” She smiled. “So I don’t wanna hear another peep out of you.”

Nick’s face almost broke again, but the look he wore screamed grateful and happy.

“Sleep?” She asked.

Nick just nodded, obeying her command and not letting out another peep.


End file.
